Get Out of Toxic Relationships While You Still Can :(

Get Out of Toxic Relationships While You Still Can :(

If you’re in a toxic relationship, I’m begging you to GET OUT NOW!!

Examples of Toxic Relationships

• Being mentally/physically abused

• Being threatened/forced to stay

• Being taken advantage of

• Someone saying they’ll change, but haven't

• Someone forcibly keeping you from loved ones

• Being constantly backstabbed/cheated

• Feeling unsafe when around someone

• Being asked/told to do something you dont want to do just so you can get something you want in return

My Story:

I took a class with this class clown. He annoyed me sooo much. He wasn’t hot, but he was somewhat cute. And he kept trying to flirt with me but i just wasn't interested.

Get Out of Toxic Relationships While You Still Can :(

He turned out to be my next door neighbor. After getting to know him more, We started hanging out a bit that Christmas break. I fell more and more for his goofy, humorous side, and well eventually we ended up dating.

Get Out of Toxic Relationships While You Still Can :(

The first couple months was good. But then everything escalated so quickly. He knew I wanted to wait til marriage to do sexual things. However, I guess he wasn't gonna back down.

He was my first boyfriend and i was happy being in a relationship. But I was so naive. One day he goes, “So if i have to wait til marriage to have sex with you, can I at least get oral from some randoms?” I was speechless. I was like, “wait what?”

I honestly dont think i ever answered this question. But he went and did things with other girls anyways. I found out from my friends... and enemies.

Get Out of Toxic Relationships While You Still Can :(

He denied doing these things and told me that there were things I could do to assure he stayed faithful. First, He had me strip butt naked. Then he told me to bend over while he circled my body like i was some kind of nude exhibit. Then he told me to sit up and that he needed to finger me to make sure i was wet and tight.

Get Out of Toxic Relationships While You Still Can :(

I didn't want to give in, but the pressure got to me. He pushed me against the brick wall of my neighbors house... But it wasn't just simple fingering. He wanted to see how much a virgin could take. I was in so much pain.

Get Out of Toxic Relationships While You Still Can :(

He took futher advantage of my naiveness and constantly pressured me into more doing things. So one day he walked me into the woods where he said he wanted to try something.

Get Out of Toxic Relationships While You Still Can :(

He started kissing me then took off his shirt and layed it on the ground. I don't know if i was more surprised that he started randomly stripping or that he layed a white tee on a dirt ground haha. So he layed me down on top of the shirt and started kissing me. I wasn't sure what to expect by i was just so hypnotized by how great of a kisser he was.

Get Out of Toxic Relationships While You Still Can :(

He then paused. Said he loved me. Then said... if we’re going to continue waiting til marriage... you have to at least let me “see if it can fit”. I kept debating and he kept throwing reasons at me why he needed to “try me”. He kept saying it wasn't sex, just a test to see if it could fit.

I don't know it just kept going on and on and on and he just wouldn't stop asking. And i gave in and said “ok but only see if the tip can go in”... but then he thrusted instead, repeatedly trying to shove his whole dck in.

Get Out of Toxic Relationships While You Still Can :(

Afterwards, I just layed their crying since i had practically lost my virginty. He kept asking “Did i hurt you? Are you okay? You said i could get in at least 1 thrust right?” I was just so traumatized. I was speechless.

Get Out of Toxic Relationships While You Still Can :(

He stood me up. Told me to get dressed. I just held my head down and started walking home. It was so painful to walk home. It was raining and I was wobbling home like a duck.

Get Out of Toxic Relationships While You Still Can :(

Get Out of Toxic Relationships While You Still Can :(

Next day he tells me, “You know, you're not a virgin anymore now. So you may as well keep on having sex with me. You dont want me to have to do things with other girls, right? I mean, you do want me to marry YOU right?”

Get Out of Toxic Relationships While You Still Can :(

Gosh, I hated how in love I was. And him being my first made me cling to him even more. It was an odd connection i felt to him. Lets just say i gave in to some stuff. He changed me.


I don’t even want to go into detail of what all ended up happening. But basically He continued to cheat on me with both friends/enemies. He supposedly knocked my friend up and denied it. He told me if I were to ever get pregnant that I needed to drink bleach.

Get Out of Toxic Relationships While You Still Can :(
Get Out of Toxic Relationships While You Still Can :(

We broke up during the whole friend being pregnant thing. But months later i took him back. I told him i still didn't want to do oral. However, one day he whipped out his dck while i sat next to him. He kept begging for it. In the middle of me saying “No”, he slammed my head down on his dck. It hit the back of my throat and i was in pain the rest of the day.

Get Out of Toxic Relationships While You Still Can :(

So the next time he asked again, i pretended I wanted to do so. I teased him as i licked down his body. Then i whipped out his dck. Kissed the tip. Then took a huge bite out the shaft.

Get Out of Toxic Relationships While You Still Can :(

Get Out of Toxic Relationships While You Still Can :(

Lets just say My teeth marks were left in his dck for about a day. He was pissed and chased me through the house. Thank goodness my mom was around to Save me because i was about to get choked to death. Hey, he never asked for me to go down again tho...

Get Out of Toxic Relationships While You Still Can :(

He told me he wanted to try doggystyle sex. I thought he meant vaginal from behind but he slammed his dck against my anal hole. Its not like it went in bt it still hurt. I shoved him away. I was in pain for a whole week. I would never purposely do anal. Guess this just made me hate that form of sex even more.

Get Out of Toxic Relationships While You Still Can :(

One day i caught him selling weed. He held the knife to my throat and forced me to sniff the bag. He also knew i had asthma and didn't need to be around smoke. Apparently he had smoked a blunt and held the smoke in his mouth. He forced me to kiss him and he blew it in my mouth. I felt like i was dying. I had to run home and get my inhaler.

Then there was that time He held a gun to my tummy when I finally tried to leave him. Smh, If it werent for him going to military school, I wouldve never escaped him.

Years later we reconnected and i tried to be cool with him. I tried to tell him how he hurt me years ago. He laughed in my face and told me i shouldn't have been so naive and that i was the easiest thing he ever scored.

Im not asking anyone for pity. I know some people feel i deserved this. I do blame myself for being so naive. I just don’t want to hear that someone went through this... or something worse... IM BEGGING YOU GUYS/GIRLS TO GET OUT WHILE YOU CAN!!

#FeelFreeToList #aDizzyDesiiTake

17 29

Most Helpful Guys

  • Dear Desi, thank you very much for sharing this painful personal experience so other girls could learn from your mistakes. This is why we are here in this community, we are aiming to help each other not judge each other.

    "He kept saying it wasn't sex, just a test to see if it could fit." that is very low, disrespectful rude and stupid to say. For God's sake, a baby comes out from the same tunnel!! I hate abusive people who take advantage of innocent people.

    You were not naïve, you were just an innocent decent girl who trusted the wrong person for a first relationship. Don't blame yourself for that, at least you have learned from your mistake as we all do and moved forward *clapping hands* BRAVO!

    That is the difference between me and most of the people around me here in Lebanon, they just go and take advantage of girls like that, once they get what they want they leave her and marry another virgin girl. I know I shouldn't say that even though I am Lebanese, but don't ever trust a Lebanese person, guy or girl, if they were born and raised in Lebanon. They don't know the real meaning of Love, Respect and Trust. A Lebanese guy would look after a girl from another country just to take advantage of her wealth or nationality, and same goes for a Lebanese girl. They are gold diggers, it is in their nature. There are few exceptions but I don't trust them. I consider myself African even though I am white for the fact I was born and lived my childhood in Africa.

    Lebanese guys here convince girls that "Open Minded" means that the girl should have a sexual intercourse with a guy whenever he wants even if they are not married. So for them, turning a human into a sex puppet means open minded. I have met few girls here being rude to me when I tell them I am open minded person. At my surprise, when they explain, I get shocked and correct it for them.

    People, please, stop going after each other for only basic instincts, take the time to know the person you are dating before making any further step into the relationship. Sex is just nothing comparing to everything else in a relationship. First of all, Love and Respect. If a guy is not able to forget about the sex act itself and concentrate on the relationship itself and the soul that you are, then let him go, he is just another crook.

    Frankly, people disagree with me when I say "I leave the sex act for the last thing to try in a relationship".

    Thank you dear Des for this wonderful post!
    Nobody deserves this :-(

    • Thanks for the insight and thanks for reading :) yes my boyfriend and i are saving sex for last. he's a virgin and we’re not doing it til marriage. We’ve been together a year and hope to marry after a total of 2 years. We dont need all the time in the world to know if we’re right for eachother

    • I am really glad you like my opinion dear Desi, and really happy for both of you, sincerely :-) You took the time to write this, so the least I can do is to respect your writing, take my time to read and share an honest opinion. As always, I look forward for your invitations dear Des !!! In my own honest opinion, it wouldn't hurt to try to live together for few months or 1 year before marriage, just to see if you are able to handle things under the same roof (not talking about sexual intercourse).

    • Thank you for MHO dear :-)

  • I hate to say I've had worse, cause that's bad... but I've had worse. It was a long time ago though.

    You should report him. Even if it's a long time ago, he needs to go to jail for that. Knife to throat, gun at you, that's enough for time. The taking virginity would be harder to get on technicalities, but you can get him done in for those other things. Not to mention selling drugs. I would say please make him pay for what he did. That's disgusting and he should never have gotten away with it. I'm sorry you had to experience that kind of thing.

    • Yea it sucked. But im not out for revenge. This was all 2009/10 stuff. there's still loads of girls wanting to date him. he's someones dad now. Just hope his daughter doesn't have to experience this. he's been in/out of jail for drugs (not while with me) but still does them

    • I'm with you. That girl had better be safe from her own fucking dad. Military can change a guy, but still.. Do me a favor though; If he so much as touches her, and you find out, please call me. I'll go to jail and he'll never try anything again.

    • He didn't stay long in the military long. Just enough to get his GED or whatever. And i dont know mch about his life now. I just hear from friends who for some reason choose to update me on him. But he doesn't have custody of his daughter. Just visiting rights. And thats sweet you're willing to get involved :) but this is a closed book ig

    • Show All

Most Helpful Girls

  • if you were 15 how old was the guy?
    i started chasing after this 19 year old boy when i was 14, almost 15. i looked his age. i was homeschooled at the time, and my parents didn't realize i needed a little more slack on the apron string since i was a wild child.. i was just being a flirty idiot ya know, i'd never had a boyfriend previous, and my one friend and i loved the drama. the guy was a peice of shit and i was playing with fire. i was spared the pain you went through since my dad found out about it before a months time and kept me at home for the rest of the summer. its after i read stuff like this i'm really grateful he did that

    • We were both 15. He claimed to be experienced but that was a lie too. And yea im glad u didn't have to go through all this

  • Oh wow.. I am just so mad at him! Like I know it is in the past but the way he manipulated you, then to laugh about it years later. He sounds like such a terrible person. You do not have to be cool with him.

    • Yea luckily i haven seen him since 2016. I was 14 when we met and 15 when he took my virginity. 16 when we broke up for good. But he would come visit every year after to see what i was up to

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What Girls & Guys Said

25 67
  • In today's world, he totally raped you!

    You may still be able to put him in prison if you want to.

    Call the police department and ask to speak to a detective about it.

    This is very alarming Ms DD!

    Get Out of Toxic Relationships While You Still Can :(
    • Thank you but i gave consent to him at least sticking the tip in although i didn't consent to him thrusting

    • Well, there is a lot more I could say about that but I will keep quiet. I know we get wiser as we get older. Some lessons in life are hard :(

    • Thank you🤦🏾‍♀️, I've been saying this to her for the past 2 hours

    • Show All
  • Now imagine that person to be that one who has to do all of that. He has hormones. male hormones.
    It goes in his soul. it is all in his soul. he thinks he can forget.
    but he never can in reality.
    he uses drugs to suppress his feeling. nobody is allowed to find out about it. inside he is in hell and hides it good.
    Woman have 1000 times this way raped man and keep saying how good they are and do never mention male hormones and believe they are funny and laugh all together how great they are.
    this man goes to hell.
    because he is unhappy.
    With the drugs, he did do self-rape. this is the form of rape never noticed. a man normally does not hurt or rape himself. What forced him doing it? for science an interesting question. one thing is strange real raped woman can't handle to watch pictures not one and they avoid all pictures while this side is full of them what is prove they have no traumas. Learn from a real expert. Man in trouble, learn to talk, you get support no matter and how much shame you have. Because many men are in trouble because of toxic woman.

    • He didn't rape me. And yes i know men and women are victims lf manipulative significant others

    • I have ,, male hormones,, nothing in that means we are predestined to be potential rapist , male sexuality is stigmatized so much and its wrong, i would never ever do this twisted underhanded shit. Maybe I took it the wrong way but if your implying male hormones mean a man leans towards rape im insulted.

  • Some people just go through things like this, doesn't mean you/they derseved it or being naive.
    My auntie was beaten and stabbed by her boyfriend when she was younger and even almost died, and we don't know if it will get worse or not. It's sad but some go through things like being in abusive relationship or being mentally abused. It's just best to know the signs and asking for help to leave the relationship.

    • True

  • Wow... that was... umm... descriptive.. and visual...
    these are some of the stories i hear about what women go through with the same kind of men that PISS ME THE EFF OFF. he basically treated you like some object... and the manipulation (ok i kind of liked that) but the way he handled it. Females (and males) tend to be attached to their "first" and he used that. then he threatened violence? (then again... you did attack our favorite part... I don't know about any guy who won't react with extreme prejudice to a surprise attack on that... i do know some who do want that... but at least its expected.)

    but yikes girl... I've taken quite the number of virginities... but i always... ALWAYS respect what i know about biology, anatomy, and their feelings when it comes to that. What i just read was some total straight up bs... and then the events after? wtf?

    Now im starting to get a full picture as to the other post... maybe someday someone would make you try anal again... the right way. many women tend not to have orgasms through vaginal penetration... but also many (from what I've heard) get it through anal.
    Ugh.. men ruining it for other men... well... i guess its the same on the other side. cuz now... that moron has created a woman who is skeptical about men (females ain't shit) and will end up ruining it for other men... and the vicious cycle is created. because of men like this (and women like that)
    the only reason i traumatized the people's whose virginities i took was because they expected since i took their virginity... it was like written in stone and we were going to go the distance... umm... the sex was good... but the personalities, wants, expectations.. didn't match. thats on them. Dont expect shit.

    Speaking for all decent men... im sorry this happened to you. YIKES...

    • Lmao he actually had me addicted to him for a good while after. And he didn't ruin my view of other men. Im boy crazy haha so he didn't stop me. But yea what happened to me really sucked. Even tho it didn't make me scared of men, it made me stay away from sex. I went celibate from mid 2010 til summer 2018. My second ex and i were waitin til marriage. But we tried some stuff that we couldnt resist (ok technically i seduced him) but yea i broke my almost 9 year celibacy for that bastard. I started to go back to waiitn but now my biological clock is ticking cause he wasted 2 years of my life. So now im just waitin for when i put my full trust in someone and feel the time is right. Anal, yea prob not happening especially since it caused me to have hemerrhoidal ass pain for a whole week after he hit the wrong hole. But my second ex did slide a finger in there while doing my puss and it felt hella good like i was takin two dicks at once. Either way, fingering is about as far as that wouldve went. And that was just a one time thing as well. Im too germaphobic for anal

    • Like i said... the right person will do it right. also... dont say this... "he wasted 2 years of my life"... YOU wasted two years if thats what you consider it as. The way i see it... you had 2 years of learning about what you didn't want. it was a learning experience... be grateful. I had a recent co-worker who got divorced after 26 years... you think that shit didn't hit him like a truck? you can't tell the future... but all that time... you were there... that wasn't wasted. its only girls that say "wasted time"... but you were there for the event the whole "time". if you dont want to "waste your time"... become fucking psychic. Any way... im still not down for the whole "for marriage" thing.. but you have broken that a couple times so im not too worried... plus you aren't attacking me (yet) lol... so im going to just keep the flow going. Lastly...2010 to 18? jesus. You know... sometimes i think girls bring the shit on themselves and dont even realize it. I had a friend... well.. former ex. she was always wondering why she would meet a guy... everything is nice and dandy... and then they have sex and poof... he's gone. She chalked it up to the same excuse females always make..."he only wanted sex"... but we dated for a bit... and we had sex... Honey, a corpse would have moved/participated more... i felt like i was raping someone... just laid there... if i asked to change positions... she'd say no... YIKES. thats when i understood why the other guys left. i mean who wants to bang a corpse? or feel unwanted? Body... a smoking 15... personality.. perfect 10... sex? 1. and thats only because she had a vagina. So sometimes you have to look deeper than just the outcomes... most people (males too) tend to look at the reactions... but no one seems to want to find the action that created it.

    • Im a diff kinda female. I say i wasted 2 years because he basically didn't want me anymore out of the blue cause he thought i was pregnant and months later all a sudden we were too different for eachother (something we knew the whole relationship but accepted). He was just looking for excuses left and right. It wasn't the sex. It was obvious his virgin ass enjoyed it. Its just he knew i wanted marriage/kids and that we were posed tommarry this fall and move in this past February, so he freaked out and wanted out. Whatever. Thats why i say he wasted my time... cause i was somewhat happy. More happy than him anyway. And i was happy being celibate for 8 years before meeting that guy. I still had my dirty mind and that was enough for me. Im more into mental stuff then physical

    • Show All
  • This brang tears to my eyes I'm so so so sorry you had to go through all of that, The hardest part is loving someone whos doing this to all you, I hope you're strong now, lots of love x

    Thank you for sharing, and making others aware.

    • Thank you :)

  • I would have cut the cord after the "assure he stayed faithful" bit... tis sad

    • Yea i was 15 🙈

  • Seems like I’ve been down this road before

    • What you mean

  • Never let yourself feel like you deserved it hun no one does.. idiots can make you feel that way though don’t believe them

    • Thanks

  • I hope your story can help other young girls to realize that the guy who says "I love you. . . don't you love me?" is just a lying sack of shit.

    • Yea i’ve grown so much compared to those horrible 3 years on/off dealing with him

    • As I was reading it, I wanted to hit him in the face. . . a lot!

    • Yea many did. He just wasn't a good boyfriend at all

  • As far as I am concerned, you're still in a toxic relationship with a guy who doesn't care about you. Get rid of him too and concentrate on yourself. Pick your online friends more carefully. They are just as toxic. Bad influences and people judge you by the company you keep. Sorry to be blunt.

    • Do you know something i dont know?

  • Jesus Christ, this is men in a nutshell. You're not less than anyone else, you're not alone, there's nothing to be ashamed of, do not act on impulse and do anything stupid because you will look back at this and shake it off. You are young and have your whole life ahead of you, you'll be surprised the positive turn it can take. All I gotta say is learn from your mistakes and grow.

    • Yea this was 8 years ago. I def learned and am in a better relationship

  • What a selfish and manipulative prick! I'm shocked he didn't try to "pimp" you out? Maybe he was just learning how to do that.

    We keep a credit history to track if someone is honest financially, it's too bad we dont have that for human relationships. It would avoid a lot of disasters. You aren't the only victim and probably not the last.

    Whatever culture you are, Id disown it and join some other culture.

    No you didn't deserve or ask for any of that. But you own responsibility to take charge of your life and do better so your offspring don't suffer in misery.

    I suspect that most of us are messed up and were all in some form of "damaged" goods and part of the process is to grow out of that. So toxic is a matter of degrees. Humans are toxic. Can take baking soda and vinegar and mix and... they make a mess. Nothing wrong with them, they are just designed different. But that's different... than intentional evil for selfish interest.

    • I was an idiot but not enough of an idiot to be pimped out. My culture is amazing. I dont let one bad apple spoil the whole bunch. And yea i did take responsibility and i left him.

  • Girl, you did not lose your virginity to him. He raped you.

    • I dont see it as rape but pressure for sure

  • Happened to me when I was a lot younger. Was ignorant and too immature to think about this. After I ended the relationship, two texted me without feeling guilty and they seemed didn't want to stop there. I lost my patience and said "I really thought you are dead because I dreamed you got hit by a car but apparently scumbag like you have such a longer life"
    Immediately they stopped.

    • Dang!!

  • What a fucking scumbag, I hope he gets leprosy on his dick and everyone in his life treats him like the stain upon humanity he truly is.

    To take something so pure and innocent like someones first love and use it as a weapon against them, hurting them so deeply. How can someone be so selfish. Knowing this and worse happens to innocent people all the time really makes me not wanna live on this planet.

    I'm sorry that you were treated in such a way by someone you loved.

    • Thank you for taking the time to read. he's Me Uno that i was referring to in my other question. And he's the one that when i spoke of the day before had caused me to have that rapey nightmare i was referring to

    • To go through that and still be able to love and trust again after, you are incredible

    • Yes like so many people wouldn't be able to but i dont let messed up pasts hold me back from a beautiful future

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  • It's a tough story, if you had a 'overprotective dad' he might had save you from that experience, well at least you gave him some payback by biting his dick.

    tvtropes.org/.../OverprotectiveDad

    • My dad wasn't in the picture. And yea i bit him 😂🙈

  • Thank you for sharing this, it's important for people to know and learn about others♥

    • Yes :)

  • I'm appalled that someone could do something so cruel, horrible, traumatizing to a girl and think it's okay, even laugh about it. That guy is scum, unworthy of even being called a human being.

    This is one of the reasons I didn't want children. The thought that my daughter might come across trash like this... the things I would do to him if he dared...
    Stuff like this is also one of the reasons I couldn't subscribe to a religion anymore.

    I'm sorry you had to go through such an experience, and lose something so important in such a way. While it's good that you've become stronger for it, I don't think it's okay that this guy gets to live so peacefully after what he did. I hope you've at least made sure that he can never come near you again.

    • Yea he hasn't come around but he's the type to pop up at anytime... haven't seen him since he last popped up in 2016 thankfully. God helped me to get through a lot. Im thankful im still here. And believe it or not my ex is a dad now to a little girl

    • Yea he hasn't come around but he's the type to pop up at anytime... haven't seen him since he last popped up in 2016 thankfully. God helped me to get through a lot. Im thankful im still here. And believe it or not my ex is a dad now to a little girl

  • Manipulation is strong in toxic relationships. Even if you do somehow get away you tend to miss the pain and abuse for the same reason you miss him.. because you lived with it for so long. Glad it's in the past. Thanks for sharing!

    • Yea i just loved him so much back then that i dealt with it. But it was all 8 years ago

  • The last sentence is some of the best advice I've heard in a long time.

    • Thanks :)

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