Recently I posted a question here asking why people encourage horny, sexually frustrated women to go out and get laid but treat men who are horny and frustrated like pathetic losers who need to relax. A lot of answers were you’re typical, “That’s not true, women get called sluts and guys are given a pass,” while some females did admit that it’s true but only because guys show their desperation. So some of those made me want to post this Take with more of the situation and what can make guys be so frustrated if they’re really not getting any sex.
Disclaimer: this Take ended up being longer than I intended, but hopefully you'll stick with me, and the "TLDR" spammers can move on.
It is true that women often are to blame...
And when I say this I’m not saying they’re to blame as in them not giving men sex is the root problem. I mean they are often to blame for how they treat men about sex, and because of their attitudes as women. A lot of women think guys are wrong to be angry but in some ways guys are actually very right to be upset with them about it.
And the reason for this is because often women try to qualify men for sex or decide if or when a guy is ready for it, or how he should want it or pursue it, when that really is none of their business. They would never want men judging them or getting in their face about the sex they have or the sex they want, or trying to decide if they even have any value as a woman in order to want or have sex, but women are doing exactly this to men! And this probably is a large part of guys’ sexual frustration.
Women whine about men only wanting casual sex and think they need to chill and get focused, but then as soon as she’s horny and wants to just get laid she wants it to be okay and cry to the world, “Why is it bad if women just want to have sex and get labelled sluts for it?” So now because you’re desperate and horny and want casual sex, we shouldn’t judge you, but when it’s guys who are, you get annoyed and judge them in a flash and think they’re pathetic for it.
Women want to make up their own rules...
It's just as sad and pathetic to me to hear a horny woman whining about not wanting to be called a slut for wanting casual sex, as it is to hear a guy whining about how he's not getting any play. Both are the same. Yet women want to make up their own rules about it. They want to say how there's a way to go about getting casual sex and how they have standards even in that. Let's be real here: having casual sex has no standards. It's just momentary satisfaction. And the difference is that guys aren't trying to front and talk about having any moral standards with it. Women are. Nor are guys really fucking anything that moves because most of us want sex with someone who looks decent, whereas it is much more common for a woman to sleep with anything/to be "pansexual."
They say how a guy being desperate is unattractive and how it won't get him any sex, but a guy can not act that way at all and she will still think he's desperate simply for trying to get it period. But the rules are supposed to change when she wants casual sex. Now I'm not supposed to think of her as a slut or desperate, and however she wants to get it should be perfectly fine.
Guys who are still virgins...
It's especially frustrating for the guys who’ve never had sex or even a girlfriend before, or if they’ve only had sex once in their life or with only one girl. I’ve read their stories on other sites, from some men even in their late 30s, and it does make me kinda sad for them. Although some women try to say they think it’s great if a guy is still a virgin or is not pressed to lose it, other women do not really think this way and can be worse towards male virgins than other guys can be towards them.
You have a lot of women who’ve already had sex or with several men, and treat male virgins as if something must be wrong with them for why they haven’t had sex once they find out, or treat them as undesirable, and think that having sex is something they should’ve already done by now. And they don’t want to give the guy a chance or be his first because they have a similar narrow mindset like the employment world: you have to have experience first.
They don’t want guys who’ve never fucked before and feel like they’ll be bad at it. And then these guys get frustrated because they also have a similar reaction to employment world expectations: okay, so how do I get experience if none of you give me a chance? Maybe a virgin guy doesn't want to be a cliche by just picking a virgin girl, maybe he's open to women who've already had sex but they're not open to him.
All this can make a guy feel hopeless, and on the one hand these women don’t want a guy to be desperate or so anxious for sex, but then basically tell them they need to get out there and lose their virginity if they want to have fun and get experience. How does he do that if you’re treating him bad for wanting that, and rejecting him for his inexperience? You’re judging these guys for never having had sex, but then judging them for wanting it a lot too. And forgetting that once upon a time you were also a virgin.
Women are bragging about getting sex easier than men…
I think this is also a big reason for guys being sexually frustrated. A lot of women try to deny this by saying it’s guys who claim women can get sex easier, and although that is true, there are still just as many women who say it and think it as men.
Women are calling guys desperate and think they need to chill or try to take it slow and relax, but then they want to brag to us about how they think it’s easier for them to get sex if they ever are desperate and horny. They’re not wanting guys to be so consumed with it or try to get it so much, but they’re basically taunting them about it, as if they’re behind a fence telling guys, “Oooh look what we can have a lot easier than you, and it’s so much fun. You’re missing out.” Or like, “Sorry for your lot, but it’s always good news for me when I’m horny.” Or, “Hell yeah, I can get laid more than you, and that should bother you and I’m glad it does.”
How would guys not be frustrated by that? You think it’s annoying that he’s desperate or too focused on sex, but pretty much stir that by trying to bully him about how you think you can go out and get it any time you want, and he’s not supposed to feel bad about himself for it or not supposed to want it too. Because in truth women actually are trying to make men feel incompetent, inferior, less capable, and less appealing by talking about how easy they think they can get sex, and they absolutely do enjoy that it bothers guys. Some would deny that but it is the truth. They’ll hate it when guys say it as if it indicates that women are only good for sex, but then agree with it when they want it to benefit their image as women because they want guys to envy it.
Shaming men vs. shaming women...
People like to cry about how much women are slut-shamed and guys are high-fived for getting laid, but this isn’t entirely true, and the argument really is different when it comes to men. Guys aren’t getting this great reputation that women are complaining about as unfair. Most people applauding guys are other guys, and most people shaming women are other women. While a lot of people “expect” men to have lots of partners, that still doesn’t necessarily mean they approve of them for doing it but that they resign themselves to the fact that it’s “male behavior” they can’t change. Men are still scorned and stereotyped as creatures who will fuck anything, yet when women are fucking anything we’re just creatively and simple-mindedly calling them “bisexual,” “pansexual,” or being more “sexually flexible.”
Men are even catching hell for not having sex like I mentioned. Nobody frowns on women for still being virgins. Nobody is constantly judging her as not being able to get laid because she’s annoyed with guys or says something about them. Nobody tries to put a woman on the spot and ask her, “Honey, when was the last time you had sex?” No one is sizing up a woman’s ability to deliver in bed based on how feminine she is or how she behaves with guys, we just think she’s always good because she's a woman. No one is thinking a woman must not be able to get laid if she hasn’t ever had sex or in a long while. No one is saying a woman is watching porn because she can't get laid. And no one has a ton of masturbation jokes for women who are single.
Men are the ones who get scrutinized for all that, and women are just as much a part of it as other guys are, and they do help stir up sexual frustration in men because of it. It bothers guys to be judged, scrutinized, and jeered at by other guys, but it bothers them a lot more when women are doing it because women are the ones they desire and are looking to have sex with, not other guys. So it hurts when the opposite sex is scorning you and sizing you up based on your sexual experience, lack of it, or desire for it.
Not getting any and being judged for it can be worse than being called a slut because you're basically thought of as incompetent, not good with women, lacking something in your masculinity, or someone women should question or worry if you're good in bed. Slut-shaming is bad but at the end of the day most guys who call a woman a slut would still fuck her in secret, and her morals are judged but not her competency as a woman.
So, yes. I can understand how guys can be sexually frustrated. I’ve been there in the past myself, and it’s not a good place.