I was first asked for nudes on snapchat by someone I didn't really know when I was 12. I was horrified and immediately blocked them. Since then, I have been asked multiple times and said no every time, until about 2 months ago.
This time it was my boyfriend that asked. I at first said I was uncomfortable with it and didn't want our relationship to go in that direction yet, since we were just 16 and hadn't even been dating for 1 month. That wasn't true, I hate the idea of nudes and I just didn't want my boyfriend to think I was a prude. I'm kinda insecure though, and if a guy likes me, well, I don't really see how much of an asshole he is. He continued to ask and ask. Looking back on it now, I should've just broken up with him then because all he really cared about was my body. He didn't want to get to know me or anything. But me being me, I didn't see that and was scared I was gonna lose this guy if I didn't do what he asked. So I sent him one. He screenshotted. He asked for more.
I sent him about five before I started to panic. I was absolutely petrified of someone finding out. Before opening instagram, I had panic attacks in fear that he might have posted them. I guess that's just how much I trusted him. Another sign I missed.
Last week, I found out he was hitting on other girls and asking them for nudes too. I broke up with him, but said it was because we weren't talking as much anymore and I felt like we were growing apart. This was because I was afraid he'd get angry at me and share the nudes. I can't talk to my friends about him cheating on me because they might confront him and then he'll tell them I sent him nudes as revenge. I'm still petrified and I will never send one again. He wasn't even upset when I broke up with him. This is how I knew for sure that he didn't care about me at all. Only my body.
So guys, if you ask a girl for nudes, you are telling them that you don't care about their mind or their personality, only their bodies. Wait until we want to send them. Wait until we trust you.
Girls, if a guy asks you for nudes, you deserve better. Find someone who loves your brain over your boobs.
I have beaten myself up about this so so much and I don't wish it on anybody. I have realised now that I need to be confident in myself and I must learn how to say no. I shouldn't have to follow someone's every wish just because they say they like me. I need to be more secure in myself and my beliefs.
So if you really want nudes, Kim Kardashian's instagram has plenty.
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