What is it about kissing that makes it so elusive to find that perfect kiss? Where did it come from? Do men and women see it differently? Let’s get some answers.
In the 1960’s and 1970’s aspects of romance took a back seat as the sexual revolution took hold. So, for many of you thank your parents or grandparents for placing the kiss on the back burner. So, as they grew up they really didn’t see what a great kiss could like, unless they watched old black and white movies with staged kissing.
The kiss is believed to come from the days of cavemen. This may sound disgusting, and there is no real proof, but hang with me for second. Before we had jarred peas and carrots mothers had to chew the food to feed infants. With this in mind it stands to reason that a kiss could have been a form of expression for wishing another a healthy life. Assuming there was no formal language.
Another theory is that it was learned from animals. The Chimpanzee kisses similar to humans with lips-on-lips. While the bonobo apes actually kisses with their tongues. Further observation shows that horses, turtles, fish, polar bears, and even kangaroo’s all show a form of kissing.
A passionate kiss can use up to 39 facial muscles and burn about 150 calories, if you are using tongue. That’s like going for a 15 minute swim or walking up hill with a 40 pound pack. Not to mention research done by Santa Clara University has shown that kisses that are long and steady can reduce the chances of a stroke by lowering blood pressure and cholesterol levels.
Kissing plays such an important role in relationships that author Sheril Kirshenbaum found in survey that 66% of women, and 56% of men will end a relationship because of a bad kiss. A study done by the American Psychological Society found that 90% of people remember the details of first romantic kiss better than their first sexual encounter.
A study was conducted at New York State University Albany where it was revealed that men tend to view kissing as a means to an end. However, women view the kiss as way of developing a deeper relationship. On that note, the same study revealed that men prefer open-mouth kissing, and women chief complaint is too much tongue.
One quote I ran across from a college senior “The worst kiss is the kind when a serpent just entered your mouth and is swirling around inside of it.”
There are some basic elements to a great kiss. Here are some of the core basics to help set people on right path. I’ve also included a few tips that most people prefer.
At the very top is bad breath. 69% of women and men say this is the #1 mood killer. Chapped and flakey lips, and stained teeth followed. Brush and floss your teeth, drink water, have a mint. Water? It helps with saliva production that limits bacteria growth on the tongue where 90% of bad breath comes from.
If you are going out to eat, say Italian, which has lots of garlic and onions. If your date isn’t having a garlic and onion meal, order something else. If both of you are having the same course, your safe because the shared scents are in sync afterwards.
Chapped lips. Smooth, soft, healthy lips help entice a kiss. To keep your lips kissably ready use a moisturizer with at least SPF 15 in the summer months. During the winter when you have sun and dry air use a balm before your lips dry out. The best time is right before bed when you can use it to moisturize throughout the night.
Don’t use moisturizers or balms that contain camphor or menthol. These can make chapped lips worse as they are intended to treat cold-sores by drying them out.
Ladies - Lipstick
Did you know that your lips become more red and fuller when you desire a kiss. Absolutely true. An average persons heart rate is bout 72 beats per minute. An average aroused persons heart rate is around 95. The increased blood flow makes the lips more red, full, and softer. When women use red lipstick they are mimicking this appearance.
However, about 1/3 of men prefer skin-on-skin contact when kissing. The studies vary widely, but the middle ground is around one-third. Men also don’t want to end up wearing make-up on their lips or their shirt.
With or Without, what do you do? You can try going without as most men do prefer the no-lipstick look. Behavioral scientists actually discovered most women will press their teeth together and use a light biting action to increase blood flow and make their lips more red when anticipating a kiss. You might also simply remove the lipstick right before kissing. A middle ground would to apply it, then remove most to just leave a rosy tint.
Gents - Facial Hair
Whether or not to grow facial hair is along the same lines of women and lipstick. Studies show most women do not like kissing a guy with facial hair. Only about a third of women actually have no problem with it. The reason is comfort. The stubble look actually gives women small cuts that leave their skin painfully tender. Most describe it as rubbing against sandpaper.
Beards are generally more comfortable, but it is possible to give her a beard burn. It comes from stiff, wiry hairs.
Most women prefer a guy to take charge during a kiss. Just don’t be too aggressive.
Adjust to your partner so you are using the right amount of pressure, tongue, and lips.
Make sure the setting is appropriate. What can be truly breathtaking in private, doesn’t really work in public view.
What is your take?