Being a Curvy Girl on Tinder

I have been on tinder for a couple years and I've discovered quite some things. I'm not obese, but well, I'm kinda chubby. And being a chubby girl on tinder, really makes dating very different than when you are skinny. I used to be skinny when I first got on tinder. After a few months I gained a lot of weight and kinda stayed that way. Didn't get much less matches. But the way guys see you and why they date you changes A LOT. Small detail, and I don't want to brag: I know I'm not ugly. Still do some modeling for plus size clothing. Just not thin anymore. So for people who are not sure about how they look, this take is mainly for women who have questions about their weight. Not looks in general.

Is it worse when you are on the heavier side? Well for most of us, yes. Though I still had a lot of fun and met some great guys. But do guys contact you for the same reason? Nope.

Being a Curvy Girl on Tinder

In short: If you're cute and have a fit body, guys want to date you, not just for sex, but often with further goals. They might want to keep seeing you, start a relationship and show you as their girlfriend to their friends and family. If you are chubbier, well... get used to getting on your knees and putting that mouth to work on the first date!

Tinder for thin girls: easy mode

When I was thin, guys were really careful with how they chatted with me. They chose carefully what kind of date it was, where we'd meet, how they dressed up for the date, and of course how they carefully checked when and how they would get in my pants. Their purpose was often also sex, but they had so much more respect for me. I noticed that they would love to see me more often and even show me off as their proud catch to their friends.

Being a Curvy Girl on Tinder

Tinder for big girls: hard mode

Since I got chubby, things changed completely. Still met up with the same type of guys. Still always guys i thought were hot. But Their intentions were completely different. The way they talked to me, the fact that they chatted the same day/night they so necessarily wanted to meet up, and where they wanted to meet up. Just one reason: getting their balls emptied.

Now I'm not really looking for serious relationships. I mainly want to date, get to know guys and see where it goes. Honestly I prefer to just have some great connection with a guy than a serious relationship. But I can't count the times I blew guys on the first date and quite often only date. And I also noticed that it's mainly the blowjob that's popular. Sex too, but that's more for a second date. I really don't mind giving guys blowjobs on the first date though. I feel comfortable with casual sex and really like giving blowjobs. But I do get that most women don't think that way and might feel slutty or used. In the beginning when I gained weight, I often turned them down when they asked for a favor, and the dates ended really quickly every time. And when I did do it, well at least it was fun and some of them asked for a second date. That second date was often also with sex as the goal, but by the third or fourth date I usually got a connection with some pretty cool guys.

When they text you, you notice immediately they don't even try to hide the fact they just want to get off as fast as possible cause they feel horny. They also try to come to my place immediately, and honestly I even offer to just cook for them at my place, or "watch a movie" cause I know that's what they want. If I went out, I ended up on my knees in a toilet stall, his car or even behind a dumpster... Romantic, right?

Being a Curvy Girl on Tinder

All these things aren't just my experiences, I talked to a lot of women with the same body type as me, and so many of them experience the same thing. Not all of them of course, but it still seems to be very common. I even talked to a couple guys that were really good looking and were open enough to talk about why they, who can date any girl, wanted to come to my place so suddenly, not being too much of a gentleman, and got their loads of baby juice all over my face in no time. They admitted that they also lost count of how often this scenario happened and that it's "just the way it goes. Why not?"

Again, I'm not saying dating has become horrible for me since I got curvy. I'm still having an awesome time. It just got a lot harder to get that plain nice, cosy date. It's like dropping in ranking and having to work a little first to get something.

What do you think about my take? Is it fair, or should these guys' attitude towards us change? Please share your opinion!

#tinder #sexlife


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Most Helpful Guys

  • Curvy =/= chubby (nor fat) and its obvious why guys want to be with someone more healthier and thinner who they find very attractive for more than a few dates. Like why wouldn't we?

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  • Not gonna lie i got turned in reading this post and honestly I'm so jealous of those guys with went out with you. But i am actually surprised i hear so much complaints from thinner women that thicc women are glorified in media the days which i wouldn't mind its time thicc girls have there time to shine but id figure more guys would go for a thicc girl with all the hype kinda around them these days but i think you should be treated with respect regardless your size and im preetty open to dating almost any size women as long as like you said we conmect

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Most Helpful Girls

  • Wow.

    I know you said you're enjoying yourself or whatever, but this was really sad to read. I don't know, I'm not a "oh it's nothing serious, just wanna date" type of girl so i'd be extremely depressed if men treated me that way.

    Also, it's tinder. I've never used online dating and i'd definitely never use tinder, but I hear that's more of a hookup app. I guess they figure chubby girls are easier for casual sex. I've actually heard that a lot. I know guys who've told me that they try harder, they are more willing to fuck so they go to chubby chicks when they're having "dry spells". So it makes sense what you wrote, not that I condone that treatment.

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  • It seems to me like you're being receptive to the wrong type of men. If a guy is talking dirty to you and you decide to go out and meet them, it should be no surprise why they'd ask for blowjob and not talk to you again after you give in. Tinder has all kinds of men with all sorts of intentions, but most are looking to hook up. You may have just coincidentally matched with the bad apples. You may want to look at the vibe you may giving off with your pics/bio as well. Are you wearing provocative clothing in your pictures? Are you posting pictures of "wild" behavior? Writing sexual innuendos in your bio? Try adding a "no hookup" disclaimer and see how people respond. But, I doubt it has nothing to do with being fat or skinny.

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    • I’ve seen plenty of hypocritical women say “no hook ups” in their profile and at the same time post sexually provocative pictures. I’ve also hooked up 3 girls who wrote “no hook ups” in their profiles.

      However I did get in a relationship with one girl for 9 months after the hook up. We had some compatibility.

      But don’t count on guys taking the “no hook up” line seriously... not anymore. So many girls change their minds if the guy is attractive.

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    • Girls will adjust to their “emotion” when they match a guy. They can say they are looking for fun and when they meet guy they will have no interest and friend zone him. Or they can say “no hook ups” but if the guys is cute and charming enough they often change their minds. I just don’t take what they say seriously anymore.

    • Well said. Even as a guy, I've had "Not interested in hookups." in my description for years. The disclaimer is practically mandatory on an application like Tinder, if you're looking for something serious. Without it, many people cynically assume the worst (and justifiably so.)

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What Guys Said 71

  • Wow, that is really hot, especially since I love thick women. I gotta say I wish I had that kinda luck on Tinder.

    Have you ever done it with black guys?

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  • So basically these are your escapades of being a fat slut? Lmao you should just turn this into a TED talk. If you want guys to treat you differently, then stop being lazy and becoming fat. Also, fat doesn't equate the curvy.

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    • she's not overweight why should she have to be in perfect shape all the time

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    • You Tony are simply not worth trying to talk sense into. What an asshole.

    • 🤷🏻‍♂️ not here to make friends. just speak the truth

  • "Tinder for big girls: hard mode"
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eVFd46qABi0
    No, but seriously. Asker, have you ever tried being a guy?

    by the way what does "curvy" and "kinda chubby" actually mean? I'm asking because these are usually things women say when they don't want to admit they ARE unattractive.
    I am not the height of human politeness, and I never wanted to be, so I'll ask it straight up - height, weight, estimated bodyfat?

    "Just one reason: getting their balls emptied."

    "Now I'm not really looking for serious relationships. I mainly want to date, get to know guys and see where it goes. Honestly I prefer to just have some great connection with a guy than a serious relationship."

    So let me get that straight. You complain that guys don't take you seriously... But you don't take dating seriously in the first place. Don't you see that's kind of hypocritical? Why should guys look for serious relationships with you, when you clearly don't care enough about them?

    And I'll be honest. I understand where you are coming from. I am guilty of this myself - I tend to think of fat girls as easier. That's not nice, but that's reality. Guys tend to be more confident around girls who they find less attractive, or at least in their own league. Harsh, I know. But we gotta deal with the same shit, and much more, from you. So let's not pretend anyone's a saint.

    I'd say try losing some weight, but it looks like you don't actually mind being used enough to hit the gym.

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  • Agree. I can get a hot girl so id never settle for a fat girl. Might stick my dick in her mouth but thats it. I won't even fuck fat girls, not interested.

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    • 2 downvotes from fat girls lolz.

    • Could you at least explain why you might stick your dick in our mouths but not fuck us? Don't get why that would be such a big difference...

    • I think sex is supposed to be more intimate while its easier for me to feel completely emotionally detatched from a bj which is good because id not date a fat girl. Like its just kissing really so no big deal. And also i can't feel the fatness. Like i can just close my eyes and relax and it feels like any bj i ever had but sex i have to feel all the fat on me and its weird and unpleasant. Im just not attracted.

  • With no ill will intended , I honestly believe if your looking for a lover instead of a fling , Try holding out on BJ's and sex till a littler later that way if his only looking for sex. Chances are he will not return for a second or third date unless his interested in something more. Still I mean nothing bad <3 enjoy your day

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  • Tinder is the epitome of shallowness. Both sexes get judged harshly based on looks. For example, It’s very difficult for Asian men to get matches or if the guy does not have a six pack, he’s not attractive. It is what it is.

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  • Interesting to see the two sides on Tinder - Probably says more about the guys than you and their attitude - I think for any girl just be yourself and stick to your tinder whatever they are and wait for right guy to fit those goals - It may take longer but it will be worth it.

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  • How's this anything new? The first way you have to judge people on this app is literally their looks. Same goes for guys, only guys don't even get the opportunity to only act as a sex toy for once; they don't get any matches.

    People judge people by their looks, obviously. I think Tinder is just the cheap, lazy, non-socializing way of trying to get a girlfriend or boyfriend.

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  • 1: curvy and chubby chicks are gorgeous.

    2: All I can say about the casual blowjob thing is good luck in the future. I certainly wouldn't date you. Ew.

    3: You do not have it hard. Guys constantly want you and you let them use you. You want them to. You say you want a connection but not a serious relationship? What? That's contradictory. And your actions don't back up your claims.

    4: Tindr is nothing but horny pieces of shits and sluts anyway.

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  • So go lose weight if you don't like how you're being treated. It isn't rocket science that guys respect girls more who look after their bodies.

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    • I don't know why people downvoted you for speaking the truth. People are so fucking dumb, man.

    • @Anon-ymous1 well that's ok, it shows my opinion affected them. Girls are super sensitive about their bodies. But if they don't take responsibility for being overweight they'll never change. They prefer to live in denial and consider themselves as 'curvy' and pretend that's sexy whilst ignoring the health consequences.

    • Well-said.

  • Tinder is a hookup app, and as such, people want social perfection.
    This is why ripped guys and thin hot girls get top billing!!!

    IRL, people are more open to other kinds of body types, but not on Tinder.

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  • I dont have anything against curvy women. I also prefer women that have some kind of body around their skeleton (not like every «model» ever).

    Although I never use Tinder, I personally would love to (if I get into Tinder someday) match with a «curvy» girl!

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  • Good take. No these guys shouldn't change their attitude, you should lower your standards as there are plenty of fat guys or just low quality guys on tinder.

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  • At the time i'm working out. I'm also overweight, but working on it. If i found a great girl that was overweight, if it would be by some insane margin, i would be fine with it. Especially if she also wanted to work out with me so we could lose the pounds together. A girl can have a few extra pounds and still be hot.

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  • The only one "dropping your ranking" is yourself.
    Why should anyone's attitude towards you change when you are seemingly ok with lowering your self-worth to a used napkin?

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  • No one has to change for you, the same has you don't have to change for anyone. But if people doesn't like what you are, they have no obligation to force themselves to choose you.
    They have preferences, and if you don't match those preferences, well they'll look for someone else, that how it is.

    Also, try tinder as an ugly guy. Then you'll know what expert mode is. No girl even choose us, you included. But I still won't ask you to change and choose me when you don't want it.

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  • Basically, thin girls are wanted and fat girls are avoided !!!

    Next breaking news : water is wet!!! ice is cold!!! and fire may burn !!!

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  • Thanks for sharing your experiences, but I'm not surprised- it is an article of faith among guys that bigger women are easier to get into bed (when I was 17, an older guy I worked with told me that if I was ever in a pinch that a fat woman would be quick to have sex with me).

    That said, I am wondering if you have widened your dating pool to hopefully improve your chances of finding a guy who would treat you the way you want to be treated, e. g., maybe Asian guys, as @NerdinDenial alluded to, or a guy my age. I can only speak for myself here, but I wouldn't treat a curvy woman any differently than a slender one- both would be treated with respect and as a potential girlfriend.

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  • 1. You are still on easy mode
    2. You are in complete control of your body. and your actions.

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  • My wife is a chubby lady and she had the same problem and now her and I are having the problem with finding a girlfriend or partner but people should not judge by looks I love bigger ladies they do it better

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  • Interesting and, expectedly, arousing story. However, I'm afraid it's not about the overweight bias. It is more about the fortune of being chubby and cute.

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  • Most men would love to get 2% of the attention you get.

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  • So being able to easily hookup with people who are conventionally more attractive than you is considered "hard mode" lol

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  • First of all I don’t Tinder. Given my average looks and my dad bod, I suspect the result would just be lots of “no” swipes. Crickets. I was 170 when I graduated from High School. By the end of college I was 225, and 2 years into work I was 240. I went all the way up to 330, with high stress tech jobs and little desire to work out. I was rewarded for finished tech projects, not for my looks or being fit. Losing weight is the opposite of climbing a mountain, it’s easy to go
    up, super hard to come down. I’ve lost 60 lbs. I need to lose 60 more to be into a decent BMI, and I expect at this point to never be “thin and fit” again. Even though I have great arms and legs, being bald and having a “dad bod”, I don’t even register on the swipe scale.

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  • At the end you ask if it's fair - it doesn't matter whether or not it's fair. You can't change their behaviour. You can't change the fact that assholes exist, you can't change what people are looking for and you can't change what people find attractive.

    All you can change is yourself and your own behaviour. If you don't want to meet guys who only want a quick blowjob, get off of Tinder. That's what most guys are looking for there. You also mention that dating as a skinny girl is easy mode and that dating as a chubby girl is hard mode - why not work to lose the weight and get back to easy mode? I don't understand.

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  • I go for personality over looks.
    It doesn't matter if you have a little extra, if I like you then I like you

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  • A good take. When i seen your question first, i though i was looking at Ivy Doomkitty. She's a curvy woman and drop dead gorgeous.
    As to your take, i've never dated on Tinder or any other dating site. I would approach women i find attractive myself. That said, there is a lot of truth in what you say. I think guys think larger curvy women are desperate and therefore easy, and that the women expect little else in the attitude from the guys.
    I've dated skinny, normal sized and curvy girls, i've respected all of them. Yet i could see that the curvier women were always suspicious of my intentions at the start.
    My S/O is a big woman, curvy, not at all obese, and tall, in fact she's taller than me. But she carries herself very well and with pride and confidence. That attracted me most to her.

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  • Your experience seems predictable or what I figured would happen.

    Your experience is all market based. You want to have sex with the top 10 to 30 percent of most attractive men. Men also want to have sex with the most attractive women they can get as well, but there's a much lower supply of women willing to have casual sex so men aren't able to have the standards you have. Men could argue that your attitude changes towards less commonly attractive men as well. This is all about the pursuit of pleasure via attractiveness, not about fairness.

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  • I'm sorry, but…what? :-D
    Try t be guy on tinder. You unlock another mode. The impossible one.

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    • Only you don't know how to take pictures.
      I mean come on, it's a goddam art!! lol

    • @GreatnessBack Well, I'm not (hot) chick, so there aren't any photographers willing to take my pictures. But it's also about girls answering messages etc.

  • You're better than this (Tinder). Find a guy who like you for YOU.

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What Girls Said 17

  • I have gone from thin to fat and back to thin. There is truth behind this. My take on it is guys, when I was heavier, felt they only needed the bare minimum effort to get you. They assume that you are just easier because if you are chubby and single you must be desperate for man attention because of low self-esteem. It does happen. I may not have been as casual as you are but guys definitely think they can just be blunt about needing to get off. When you're thin, guys tend to only like you for your body. Same goal, same guys, same issue... they want to get off. That accounts for a large portion of men. However, there are lots of guys who like women for who they are. Yes, appearances play a small role to these guys. When I was heavy, tended to think they wanted friendship and thin I questioned their motives. These guys are out there. I have met lots. You can tell the difference in the ones looking to get off and the ones who actually like you as a person if you pay attention. Don't get too busy blaming weight on lack of quality men. You get the duds and winners in all the shapes of you.

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  • I understand that you like the casual sex aspect. Reading your experience, I can say I don't share it. I used to be about 15lbs overweight- but I was never treated differently. I think guys pick up on more than just weight. Maybe it's a vibe? Maybe it's what you're saying? I do believe men in general assign less value to heavier women- but not all of them. I know a TON of guys who love and worship thicker chicks and not just for sex

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  • the last pic is trashy. Although that is how sluts have sex. So trashy and dirty

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    • Well, that's about the end of every first date for me :)

    • Hey the diva your so pretty I could see myself growing old with a girl like you 😊 too bad you live in my computer lol but really you must be in a band cause you fucking rock

  • I don't think it matters if you're thin or curvy. Men will treat you the way you allow them to treat you. You say you're ok with being chubby but you can keep the same standards. It sounds like you're using being chubby as a way to accept your hoe like tendencies. Some of what your experiences have been like really disgusted me & I feel badly that you actually tell yourself that this is normal. I don't believe it's too late for you to save yourself. Chubby or thin you choose what treatment is acceptable by men. You set the pace. You have to option of turning them down & not giving them bjs on the first date. Sorry to hear you see yourself as less after gaining weight.

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  • Wow ur mytake is biased. I was a size 2 and a size 10 (1 summer due to a break up). I’m back to a size 4 Men treated me the same, with respect. If u act like a slut they treat u like a slut. If u carry itself with esteem then they will treat u with respect.

    U really sound like a victim when u r not. You ended up on your knees? Do u not realize that u could have said no and walked away?

    I’m sorry but u sound like a depressed chubby girl with low self esteem (and no I don’t care if u were a model. so was I)

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  • I mean.. well, nobody has to change if that's what you want and like too.

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  • Its because women care about their looks. They wanna strike where it hurts most.

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  • Really? Many of us men love thickness because booty

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  • Some absolute gentlemen on this thread 😒

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    • Not surprised

    • IKR, it is kinda difficult to say something positive when she's fat and easy, either of those things is fine, but both? I'm trying to think of something nice to say, still haven't got any yet

    • @betaTester saying nothing is always an option, preferable in some cases 🤗

  • Hm... interesting.

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    • Ikr? So wish I was the lucky guy.

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    • @ManOnFire Should I even ask you to elaborate?

    • I mean I had no idea how to see who liked me on Tinder for a long time until my co-worker showed me how. And now eversince then I don't get likes anymore and it's so weird. Though it might also be due to me re-writing my profile after that. Changing the recipe probably didn't help.

  • I'm not on tinder, but interesting take 😊

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  • Good take

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  • "In short: If you're cute and have a fit body, guys want to date you, not just for sex, but often with further goals. They might want to keep seeing you, start a relationship and show you as their girlfriend to their friends and family."

    Baby girl, thats not true. I'm skinny and fit body. I still get perv guys on my Tinder. Guys who only looking for sex, casual, etc. Dating become horrible for EVERYONE :(

    Not just for curvy/chubby/or whatever you call it. This fact is so sad.

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  • excuse me, I saw that curvy once again was used for fat/chubby..
    Curvy has to do with your waist-hip ratio not with the amount of fat someone has
    When will people learn how to speak correctly?

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  • Okay, the only thing I got outta this is you gained weight and give more bj.

    The end.

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  • How could you?
    Being a Curvy Girl on Tinder
    That floor's filthy!

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    • Well I mean people at least 6 people probably sit on the same toilet seat every day without it getting washed so it’s not that bad

  • Interesting take

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