Hi guys and gays
This will be more of a disorganized rant than a structure myTake.
So we can all forget I'm like this, after this is all said and posted. K?
I usually don't like expressing my sexuality (actually I've brought it up 3 times today, yikes, but that's not a usual thing)
But I need to write a myTake on a recent one done about demisexuality because ... It's a bit weird.
So I'm going to make this myTake called...
Please don't make Demisexuality into a personality trait.
Ok so I'm demisexual and the previous myTake I was talking about is a little misleading.
So with a VERY simple way of explaining this...
There are at least 2 types of attraction.
If a straight man see's a woman's leg, he gets a tingly peepee.
Straight woman sees a man's broad shoulders, and or (whatever she finds attractive) she gets all horny as well.
Primary attraction is purely visual sexual attraction, which is the default deciding point in how we, as a species, make an attempt, to BONE.
And secondary attraction.
Secondary attraction is not a sex (or even gender) specific thing, but it is important in socialization with this person of interest.
Normal sexual behavior allows your physical attraction to enhance your view of this person as a potential leading to secondary attraction.
Example: "Omg her ass is so fucking smooth, and she's also pretty funny too, so now I want to fuck her even more!"
So quick summary.
Primary attraction has to do with visual appeal of someone (which by the way it doesn't really matter if they are male or female) that makes you approach them in the first place.
And secondary attraction has to do with aspects of someone's projected character and charisma (basically personality and morals)
Demisexuality relies on secondary attraction, first and foremost.
BUT SKETCH, ISN'T THAT JUST A PREFERENCE?
No, and it's not an orientation either.
It's a form of sexual behavior.
Now many people say all the time "Lol I don't care about a person's looks, I only care about their personality" like a true cerebral deity.
Demisexuals don't really have a choice in that matter.
We literally do not see a girl/boys sexually appealing features and think "dayum, I want him/her to choke me" or some shit like that I don't know. We do not act based on that, we take a person's mannerisms, their social standing, and take it to heart. We start forming more of a connection, and we start developing a new feeling for them.
Now we begin to notice those features, because we share a connection with them.
That girl you've been talking to, who's been great to you. You start to really enjoy the way she smiles, and by proxy, her whole face, then her whole body. Then you start to give every type of shit about their body we never did before. How smooth their skin was, how cute their hair is. How hypnotizing their figure is. It becomes so much more personal to you.
The connection is what triggers us even CONSIDERING boning these people. Regular sexual psychology (including gays and lesbians) involves factors of people deciding whether or not they find a person attractive withing the first 30 seconds of seeing and meeting them.
Demisexuality is... Much more different. We will not approach you because we think you're attractive, nor will we look twice at you if we've never even heard your name before. Demisexuals will not see something sexually appealing to the average person and say "um... Damn." we are incapable of such things
Demisexuals don't really do that because (and I know this sounds fucked up) but we kind of see you as bags of useless meat (sexually at least) , even if we know your name, race, and interests.
If anything, flaunting around us sexually, (no matter the sex) is annoying, and not in the ways you may think.
So as an example, a very attractive woman starts walking around in a corner store naked.
Straight dude thinks : "Oh wow, is anyone else noticing her? What the fuck it's so weird?" or "what a slut" or "wow what a hero, providing the goods" depending on their personality.
What a demisexual dude thinks: "How long are people going to take ringing this girl up? Why are people trying to talk to her now? We get it, she's naked, give her a medal!"
It's kind of the same thing with the genders reversed, only some women may feel threatened because the dick being out potentially means using it without consent.
It's all about social association.
Because I've been asked this question before.
"If a perfect 10 (nice way to describe women I know) walked up to you, said that she wants to fuck you, would you do it, even if there were no consequences for it?"
And my answer is always going to be no.
The reason being, is because a random woman approaching me and asking to fuck me, is just that sentence to me. That's it. I don't have a single string attached to this person in order to WANT to please her, I don't take pride in her attempting to please me. I have to have the desire to gain a social response or change from this. It's purely psychological in the fact that she could be butt naked and my dick would be softer than a memory foam dildo.
It is not an orientation, I may be demisexual, but I am still not sure what actual sexual orientation I am. Nor do I care. Dicks are gross to me, but muscle ain't a bad thing no matter then sex.
Jesus I'm just gonna make a Meme of myself at this point.
So the wrap up is that it is not about your mental response to making out.
What your MyTake seem to describe is just psychological behavior in response to sex. You're talking about morality, not sexuality.
If I was put into the situation with making out with some person out of nowhere, I would literally feel nothing. I wouldn't generate any sort of stimuli unless I knew whom I was receiving the stimulus from. It's a familiarity issue and it's essentially your brain attempting to cock block you, and is most likely a result of sexual desensitization to the point of needing familiarity to satisfy your sexual needs.
This has been Sketch, and I hope you've taken time to not give a shit about whether or not I'll bang you.
I'll describe Demisexuality with a single analogy, that will be bound to confuse people and associates themselves with demisexuality, even when in reality, they're just straight people with trust issues.
Being demisexual is like needing to connect to the wifi in a building in order to use the internet at all. And the more you sign into it the more likely you are to automatically sign in to the wifi. Then all of the sudden your want to fuck your router.
Shitty metaphor but it's the best I've got.