My Experiences With Being Promiscuous

The first thing to answer is yes I did come from a damaged home and I probably have lost some moral or emotions. I find it hard to make friends, I went to seven primary schools, and every time I made friends I couldn't exactly say by the way I'm being beaten by my mother or that I get starved or that there was various guys in and out the house. I couldn't say my biggest fear was, what I called the black men knocking on the door (they were guys in black suits, and from a poor family and the way they asked for money scared me - other words, debt collectors).

My Experiences With Being Promiscuous

When I was eight dad gained custody of me and life was grand it took me a year to even start trusting another female, dad worked nights got home at 7am took me to school for 9am, slept and picked me up at 3:15pm and hung out with me then went to work for 11pm. So I guess I was extremely clingy for a time though the bond between us has never ceased.

My Experiences With Being Promiscuous

I'm 18 finished my Alevels, had two boyfriends one for a month and the other for a week, he kept pushing me to have sex so I broke up with him as I wasn't ready (16 at the time).

I decided I wanted to go to university at another city three hours away. In hindsight it was this that messed me up more, I never realised how much I talked to my dad about problems, feelings, majority of the time he's my best friend and I definitely relied on him too much, probably still do and will for a while more.

My Experiences With Being Promiscuous

I went to university, and didn't have the rock of home, I had to do more thinking myself and confided in my friends a bit more, or should I say new friends that I met at university. It was during this time that I thought what's the big deal with sex? And three months later fucked a guy, didn't feel anything good or bad, and didn’t hurt even though it was my first time. I didn't feel pleasure, I felt slight pressure then just numbness didn't feel him at all. I didn't do anything sexual for a year, other than a couple of kisses at clubs.

My Experiences With Being Promiscuous

In year two I made other friends who were also of the promiscuous lifestyle and thought nothing of it tbh, although at the time I didn't want to go over ten guys. That year I slept with 3 guys, one was good I found out I was fairly kinky and it wasn't just fantasy, second physically hurt me and the third made me realise I wanted a friends with benefits or somewhat of a relationship. I loved sex and what it entails but I wanted it with someone I cared for. If only I stopped there :/

My Experiences With Being Promiscuous

By year three, one of my previous housemates broke down my door scared and terrified me he had bloodshot eyes was on something and drunk as well. I messed up my exam and had to retake a year. And this was after being extremely paranoid of things being put in my food, rate poison in beds, stink bombs in my room (we didn't have locks).

My Experiences With Being Promiscuous

I got persuaded to go on holiday and though it was a nice place, the actual time spent there was shit. I started smoking weed and each time I did I realised just how much of an illusion I was living. As in I saw the truth of my shitty friends and how much I was telling myself everything was alright. It was Christmas 2017 and I was also working alongside going to university, and could only go home for about eight days, when the last two years I spent about sixteen odd days back home.

In the next six months I slept with eight guys with six of them being in two months. As the year went on I was getting more depressed and the only time I noticed was when I was high. I was also not eating properly while doing a lot more exercise, so I lost a lot of weight and looked a lot sexier than I ever have been. I was getting so much more attention from guys, like wolf whistles as I walked down the street and getting chatted up on the street etc.

My Experiences With Being Promiscuous

What messed me up was when I decided to have cocaine for the first time, and I knowingly got sucked into the trap of a married guy, I felt so sick to the stomach and it set me off to have sex with seven more guys. I couldn't stand myself for what I did, I know it takes two to tango, but the way I saw it: I wanted attention so so much that when he started saying how beautiful and sexy I looked, I couldn't resist him it brings me to tears even now. Months has passed, hell I moved back home so there's no possible chance of ever seeing him or anyone who knows him again.

My Experiences With Being Promiscuous

The main reason though, was I found out I was pregnant and I don’t know call me selfish, point to prove, whatever. I'm going to be a great mum and do well for my child going to finish university, get a good job and maybe eventually I'll find a guy who would accept me.

I know, I made my bed and I'm going to sleep in it. I'm just not going to let myself be put down by others again and enjoy what life has given me, I'm only 21, almost 22 and I have much more fight then that in me.

My Experiences With Being Promiscuous

The only thing is, if I do finally get into a relationship with a guy why would I ruin something I've always wanted by cheating? I would rather walk on shattered glass and climb through a maze of barbed wires (saw style), then ever do that to him, or myself for that matter.

My Experiences With Being Promiscuous

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Most Helpful Guys

  • Lets be clear, you will not be a good mother or wife, you will cheat IF, and let me reiterate this because I want it to be perfectly clear that this is not set in stone, but this will happen IF you do not fix yourself first. If the problem is not resolved you will continue doing it, plain and simple and the only way to fix that problem is to look inside yourself, in the deepest darkest and scariest places inside you and confront it but more importantly understand it. Then you train yourself to control it until it becomes natural. That is the only way you will avoid relapsing into this life style (and normally this would be something you should do for you, but with a child you now need to do it for your child because everything you do, everything you are will be incorporated by them into who they are). Please understand that this is a painful and grueling process, I know it is because I have done it (I was beaten and raped and starved by my mother and her boyfriend as well). Its possible to overcome but you need to not be casual with it, you need to not assume you will be fine, darkness is inside you and you need to conquer that before you can function like a healthy person again. I wish you luck in that, not every one is strong enough to make it through.

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    • What mad me fall so deep was the loss of my family, through moving and trying to replace that with friends who I found out to be were very toxic. I'm a bit different when I'm drunk but I also know my limits I know when I start feeling alcohol, to being tipsy and then being drunk then going to pissed off my rocker. I also have a feeling they have stolen 100s off of me and put things in my drinks.

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    • Like I said, it cannot change if you do not change. Just because you feel safe does not mean you are safe, those issues, inner demons if you will, are lurking inside you waiting for a moments weakness. You can't give them that. It is good that your back home, that will give you an anchor, a bit of a foundation to stand on and cutting out toxic people is also good because your removing sources of temptation and suffering however its important not to get lax with it. their are plenty of people out their who believe they are good people, in fact I would wager almost every cheater, every body who has done wrong really thought they where a good person, the problem is they never confronted their own darkness, and so at that moment of weakness they failed the test. That's why its important for you to really dedicate yourself to this (and I know that is not your intention, its just something that bares repeating, never be to flippant with your own psyche it can cause a lot of trauma later on).

    • Again, its good that your figuring out what is leading you astray and away from the person you want to be, keep at it. and again, good luck I hope it works out for you.

  • The biggest problem with this is that it shows how little self control you really have. Even in the end you say that you'd rather climb through barbed wires, etc, than cheat. Yet you still KNOWINGLY did shit with a married guy. And you have the nerve to make excuses like "I couldn't resist" or try to blame it on being lonely or depressed instead of taking responsibility for your actions and being such a shitty human being.

    I sincerely hope you change for the sake of your child but I can't say I don't feel sorry for your kid to have to grow up without a father because of your irresponsible decisions, makes me question if you actually are fit to be a mother.

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    • I like your thoughts.

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    • I read some of your other replies and the thing that really gets me is you saying that "you've always found family values extremely important", yet you fucked 6 guys in two months, you cheated with a married man and now you're a single mother because of your irresponsibility. Which part of any of that goes along with "family values"?

      And I'm not saying all of this just to be hurtful, but it seems to me like you are extremely delusional about what you're really like as a person. Maybe you want to imagine yourself to be this decent girl who puts family values before anything else, or who would rather spend a night watching movies or playing uno or some shit rather than go partying. But actions speak louder than words and your actions have spoken for themselves.

    • My point here is that if you want to actually change as a person the first step is to truly accept what kind of a person you have been so far, no excuses, no anything else.

      Think about how you can make sure that you're gonna have enough self control in the future that you won't let yourself even think about the excuses you've mentioned before. Because now you're responsible of another human being so you have to also be responsible of your own actions.

Most Helpful Girls

  • I don’t see why you would cheat I don’t even see this as being aboit sex—You were just looking for a way to numb the pain be it sex or drugs it’s all chemical rush / release.

    Hope you find someone you trust and I think you will be a wonderful mom bc you’ve been through a lot but have a loving parent so you can see both sides of the wired and will be wise and compassionate.

    I wish you all the best 🌹

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    • I do hope so just need to stand up for myself and any criticism I will face in a reserved manner

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    • Could... typing on moving vehicles 😑

    • Haha thanks, I'm not surprised about some of the males point of views but I am surprised about the females. I'm more shocked that although half think I shouldn't keep the baby which I think is fair enough, there's still loads of supportive people and comments. Yeah I'm thinking of perhaps going to a couple of anti natal classes to try and meet some other mums, I am also hoping to see if there's a single mum group in my area and try and make some new friends.

      It's a change in life but I welcome the change and it's hardships. Nothing gets better just because it takes hard work for something to become nice.

  • I understand you. I also had a number of bed partners. But my problem was i didn't like sex but still kept having it which made me miserable. My therapist helped me so well getting rid of my habit/addiction. Her and i were brainstorming, trying to figure out why i was that way. Her conclusion was that it had to do with my sexually assault when i was a kid.
    Now i have a boyfriend whom i told my whole past and he (surprisingly) accepts me. And i'm really glad he does. I love him.
    I believe you can find someone as well

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What Guys Said 50

  • When I saw the title the first thing I thought you were a no good slut, but after reading this I thought a little differently. You still fit the definition of a slut though, sorry but that's how it is, but you were playing people, people were playing you. You didn't do this for your own selfish reasons, you did this because of your mental illness and shitty friends, and I know how shitty manipulative friends can be, trust me. About your future hopes, I wouldn't want to date someone with a high body count myself but that's just me, but I do hope you find someone who actually does love you and fixes your mental and emotional issues. But some advice you can choose to take or not but I recommend you do, if he asks about your sexual past, be honest and own up to your past mistakes. I know it sounds personal, but its best to bit the bullet sometimes, if you want a real relationship with him your going to have to be open and honest with him and not hide things. But if he never asks, then don't tell him, if he doesn't ask then he doesn't care. Again, you don't have to follow my advice, but I recommend it.

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    • I won't lie but also not sure how much I'll share there's no need to go into complete detail, it's funny though I'd still inexperienced at sex, only had it 19 times and it's fair got a high count and as such I'm a slut. The only thing is, I wouldn't say I was playing anyone, I never lied, or was cheating on anyone, though i did help someone cheat :/ so can't stay on the moral highground.

    • Well yeah, some details are best left out, like the names of your past partners, but don't lie. Also, yeah, helping someone cheat is a cunt thing to do, but hopefully you wouldn't do that again.

  • " I did come from a damaged home and I probably have lost some moral or emotions." welcome to the club. Well we have had a very similar set of experiences less the drugs and any kids I know of. You just have to work with what you are dealt at this point.

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    • It wasn't the best choices but I think it made me less able to see the manipulative traits of my friends, a couple of times I thought well that comment was a bit weird or something, but I never realised until it was too late and they were the only friends I had plus I was living with them and also had booked a holiday in four months time (which was in June)

  • Very brave of you to write this.

    It reinforces what I've constantly said on this website - promiscuity is tightly tied to depression and low self esteem.

    I hope you get your life back on track.

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    • Thanks for not being mean about it, a lot of it was tied to who I hang around and losing my security blanket if you will, and now I've got that back I'm not sure if I can ever move out of this city. I remember crying from loniness and watching videos of my brother and sister cus I couldn't afford the £30 train ticket.

    • And just sitting there staring at pictures of family while wishing I was still in my home town

  • This isn't about being promiscuous; it's about being depressed and abused. Is there a correlation? Yeah, but not a strong one.

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    • I guess so but that is how it came about, I'm not apposed to one night stands, and I do love sex I think it can link amny different emotions together

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    • The thing is I do not know a situation where promiscuity is not related to damage. Do you have any examples?
      Please, keep in mind, I find the occasional fling and ONS to be okay for single people, though I do find a relationship to be a better route.

    • @GreatnessBack Many, many examples. Some with relationships. some without. If you are in a sex-positive group, you meet a lot of them. Feel free to go through my answers and look for them, if you wish; I'm not going to repeat all those tales here.

  • Well, promiscuity is always a symptom of deeper-lying problems. If you want to really be a mother and be an actual good mom - then SIT THE FUCK DOWN and look inside of you. Stop shying away from it. You are now not only responsible for yourself anymore, but also for someone else. Someone that will be unable to defend him-/herself.

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    • Yeah I know, it was in response to your comment on the other take that I decided to write this, I know I'll bring her up a lot better than my mum did, and everyone who've ever seen me with kids has said I'll make a great mum. I'm just worried about the stats of single parenthold homes and whether she'll start believing it's her fault that her dad didn't want to stay. There's some great male role models in my family so not worried about that.

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    • It's not going to be for awhile yet but how should I bring her up if I was chatting to someone. Like immediately or would the second date be a bit more appropriate?

    • I don't really have a child myself, but from my own observation it seems to be the best to have some middle ground. Discipline is as much of importance as freedom. Protection as much as giving your child chances to make mistakes.

      So I agree with talking to them is a good solution, but sometimes you gotta go a different approach.

  • I liked your recollection of your dad. It proves a point in MGTOW, that just because women are women, that doesn't make them the better parent and I know this because I took care of a 3 year old girl for 7 months and I treated her like a princess. As far as the father of your baby, I believe that you should at least let him know. Otherwise you are going to be raising a baby in a broken home without his or her dad.

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    • The farther is guy I slept with Trying to forget about the married one, who I found out isn't single after sleeping with him and lied to me about it. He also denied ever being with me saying I was looking for attention and wanted to be a home wrecker, the two are still getting married and have a deposit for a house together. So no telling the guy who is the farther is a very bad idea. There is a chance that I wouldn't be able to live in the city I want to live in and then that I could lose the baby since my life isn't as stable as theirs.

  • I don't really know what to take from this myTake or what the purpose of it was, but it was an interesting read nonetheless, and I wish you a happy and better future than what you've had to go through in the past!

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    • Honestly only wrote it in relation of @VoteVoteVote take and @FakeName123 response since I did see some relation and even though I hate it some of the stats do fall into place

  • Being promiscuous is an character flaw tied to any number of behavioral problems. If not taken care of, not only will eat slowly eat you up inside you will never be truly happy is a long-term realtionship.

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    • See this is where I'm either self delusional which could be possible I guess lol. But all I've wanted was a relationship, and the closest I had to it was two weeks with this guy who was 35 and tbh it's been one of the happier times I've had. We watched film's, had sex, went out and hung out talked about life experiences. It made me realise just how much I craved that and to come home to a guy I can chat to, have a laugh with, just be my ditzy self. I've always imagined myself with three kids and a loving guy, I didn't expect the first to be like this but hey ho, I'm taking all that life dishes out.

  • The mum thing is a terrible idea. Your child will not have a good relationship with the father and caring for a child will distract you from getting onto a better path. Although you can say that your past influenced you, it was still you who made those mistakes. And trust me when I say this, no valuable guy will want anything to do with you if you have a kid. You may not like the sound of it, but when I see a super young mum, the only thing I can think of is her being a slut which resulted in the pregnancy, then the dad left and that is a shitty situation I want to get away from. The only men who will be willing to date a chick with a kid around your age will be beta cucks not real men that you would want. Therefore they will be people pleasers and will not satsify you sexually and yeah you'll probably end up cheating on them. For the sake of your child don't do this. Get an abortion. It sounds bad but it is a good thing under certain circumstances. If you have the kid, they will be a reminder of your sluttiness no matter how much you love them. But hey. At the end of the day, this is just my opinion. It's none of my business what you do and I'm simply having some fun on a website. Have fun.

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  • Being promiscuous doesn't really mean you're a cheater to be and it doesn't take away your ability be a faithful partner.

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    • Maybe... But that's not what the stats say according to loads of people

  • I despise people like you and don't support your actions. You sound like a straight up slut and I pity thee guy who would accept you as you will likely mess up affecting him more that you.

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    • Okay fair enough, but how would I mess up exactly?

      I've always been extremely family based and valued I rather stay at home then get pissed up every night. I own over 80 hard copies of video games and also about 300 movies also hard copies.

      I had sex with 12 guys 8 of which when I was extremely lonely no friends (except the toxic ones who were very manipulative and mean) and no family around. On top of that I was pretty depressed and felt like an absolute failure at everything.

      Out of the 12 I slept with only 4 of the times were actually any good, the rest were painful or awkward and one didn't remember as i was too drunk.

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    • @theshewolf I don't sleep with 12 guys whom I don't have connections anymore and then expect that promiscuous lifestyle of mine to end with a coming baby who will most likely never meet his/her father, sue me.

    • You would mess up for example:
      -By getting a shitty guy
      -By getting someone who isn't that interest from the start
      -By eventually (and in your case almost inevitably) stop liking the guy
      -By cheating, you seem open to that
      -By going back to drugs (do I even have to go into detail about this?)
      -By I don't know, maybe any reason to why you are not with any of those 12 men currently?

  • I hope you would find a right guy and forget about your past. There is never late to change and to become better.

    Honestly I also wanted to sleep with a lot of different girls, but the morals did not let me. And then after relaxing and dealing with it by myself I always realized that this is just lust. I strongly believe that relationship between guy and girl should be moved by more than just lust. Hope you will experience a true mutual love. Good luck to you.

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  • Ok.
    We all have our own problems to worry about.
    You have your past.
    You'd not be anyobe I woukd want as a wife.
    I am sure soneone will.
    I want my iwn kids... not some other guys kid.

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  • I'm guessing your British?

    You should join the British military. They'll fix you

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    • Honestly was thinking of joining, with a degree I could be an officer after 2 years and I've always been quite patriotic and was willing to do 2 years of training and 5 of service, but now I have a child in the mix I don't want to do it

  • Promiscuity almost always brings pain and emotional numbness. Its dumb behavior i will never respect or condone and I wish you luck in the future. Hopefully you have learned from your previous decisions and make wiser ones in the future.

    As for being a mum... I fear for the childs mental health and upbringing but I hope it goes well. I would say this is what you get, but it's not what a new child entering the world deserves so I won't say it.

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  • You enjoyed your past life out of limits. Without sense.
    And now you realised (not sure).

    And when you have a baby, you became a mom, you need a man, who will eventually accept you?
    Good point!
    Hope the baby receives best and not grow up like u... Coz these day..., Well forget it.
    Tc of baby.

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  • How would it feel, after such promiscuous life, to be with a guy who had only one, or never had a girl before you?

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    • It would be different, I'll admit that and if I'm honest it'll probably be nice I may have been with 12 guys, that's only amounted to 19 times so I wouldn't actually say I'm experienced. I think there's a lot to learn in sex, and I like trying things out. However I would view it as weird cus I would wonder why you would want a gal like me, why not find a sweet gal who's also waiting for the one

  • You have definitely emerged to be strong and mature for sure. I'm sorry you had to go through these experiences though.

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  • Well, I believe in second chances, but when time comes will be biology who will answer and by now it looks its strong.
    Thanks to your dad, you have education and can have a good relation, so, use it, and good luck.

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  • So sorry people are so judgmental. Like they live a perfect life. Get yourself help, keep you dad close. And don’t listen to those unempathetic assholes. The damaged is done, you can start moving forward. Fuck those assholes

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  • Everyone can change their life around and having a child could be the making of you. I hope you meet a good guy and settle down - Don't be held back by your past, think of your future - Good Luck

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  • You're still young and have time to right the ship. Hope it works out for you.

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  • I don't agree with the last part. You just went around fucking everyone I assume (didn't read the take) so you're basically just a wild animal. You'll cheat.

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  • Sorry that you had to experience this in your life. Hopefully, we all earn by our mistakes.

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  • Why I'm kind of glad I'll never have sex... (at least for a long time.) It seems to be the underbelly of humanity, that which proves them to only be animals-or worse.

    Men and women commit fidecide for 15 minutes of pleasure behind their 'partner's' backs, people abuse young children to bring their sick fantasies into reality, and people like you stuff all the sex they can into their proverbial gullet because because at your core you're empty and haven't a clue how to fix it.

    And now another life is going to bear the consequence of your gluttony.

    I suppose it doesn't have to be all bad... not like my parents were anything special. *spits*

    Just make sure you be careful who you let around your kid, that's the important thing.

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  • Yeah, anything that obtains attention easily almost always ends in the attention being unsatisfying. For girls, sex is at the top of that list - with provocative clothing being a distant second.

    So, my advice is to not have sex unless you want to get off. If you can't be a little bit selfish about the physical sensation, it's best to just avoid the hassle altogether.

    But, there are many other ways to get attention. Sex is the easiest and least rewarding - but the more difficult a method is, the more rewarding the resulting attention is. That's where "talent" becomes a thing. Indeed, sex can be a talent as well, though it's rare for girls to have any interest (or need). Usually it's some form of art (painting, music, writing..) that gets the most rewarding attention, though..

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  • I can so relate with you, though I am a man, promiscuity and pornography has made my life difficult. I could not love myself or others. I will not go into all the details, enough to say I was 42 before I had a loving relationship. I f.. k and f.. k but never loved and was never loved. Life and people were only to be used. I was only happy with me, myself and I, I hated everything and everybody. Then one day I found love, true love, an everlasting love, a love I did not earn, a love I did not deserve, a love that loved me despite my past and shame. On that day, when I embraced this love, I learned to love myself and love others. Only after this was I able to become a husband and father. And since that day when I discovered love, life has been a joy. I hope you too will find the love you are looking for and need, and on that day you will be able to forgive yourself and love others as you too are loved.

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  • Damn I wish I had the attention to read all of that

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    • What do you want to know? and it's only a page of A4 that's less then most news stories and since this starts at age 6 till now it's going to be a little long

  • Gross.

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  • That should never be done

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    • What shouldn't? Being beaten and starved, being promiscuous, getting attacked by my supposedly friends, or becoming a mum

    • Being promiscuous

  • Show more from Guys
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What Girls Said 20

  • nice take. You've really changed in a short time. Keep it up. and tons of guys are going to have opinions on your body your past and heck even how you raise your baby. Unless they are going to be there for the the hard nights, the messy diapers, and the "Boring" parts of life, then he doesn't truly love all of you. Stay strong and you got this girl

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  • I came from a normal home and I’ve had sex with more people than I can count - honestly. Most were ONS or short term friends with benefits.

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  • being promiscuous is in my opinion only another word for being highly sexed, and maybe not being able to resist another person sexually

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  • a lot of really harsh views here. You are really young and you were a child when all this happened. You can easily turn your life around and start making the right (for you) choices. Find yourself first.. love will follow... All the best on this new journey of yours x

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  • Interesting
    But people who enjoy single life shouldn’t need to go in relationship

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    • Can't say I ever really enjoyed it, at first I just thought I was ugly and nobody I'd liked would like me, then I thought that I didn't deserve a relationship. Now I know I'm not ready but hope I'll find someone understanding

    • I’m in the same lifestyle , and trust me it’s impossible to get out because I enjoy it.
      Because of this now I will stay as is

  • That's sad I hope you have a wonderful healthy pregnancy and I hope things get better for you.

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  • Wow, I really hope this is a troll!

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    • Umm no, this is my life, why is this a troll

  • Great MyTake!

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  • Interesting Take.

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  • Interesting take

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  • Interesting myTake you have there, nice read.

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  • Good luck

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  • Interesting.

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  • Good take

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  • It is different for each person. I think we learn along the way.

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  • People here judging you as if they don't ever fuck up themselves.
    Good luck with the baby and finding a good man. I am rooting for you. Do not allow any shitheads to make you feel bad for your choices. At least you acknowledged what happened and are taking responsibility and being an adult about it. Most people here wouldn't do that.

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  • I like when people make up excuses for being ho's. It is what it is.

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  • Hey , honestly I like you.
    And about moving away for university and not getting to confide in your dad , the thing is you have to learn to be indepenedant in life. So do not think of it as something that messed you up , but rather a learning experience.

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  • I think women are more likely to change this behavior than men. Promiscuous women are more likely to do it cause of some sort of trauma or issues and get relieve outta it. I think guys are more likely to just enjoy going from a girl to the other and less likely feel bad about it. Just my opinion...

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  • Of all the guys you slept with, how many did you give oral to and how many gave you oral?

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    • Me to them 10/12, them to me 6/12 but that's generally cus I prefer to be fingered it's more of a turn on

    • So, the majority of them offered? And they sounded enthusiastic about it and wanted to do it for a good amount of time? Or did they seem kinda happy that you said you didn’t like it or made them stop?

      Sorry, I’ll probably never sleep with even half that amount, so just curious about how sex usually goes.

    • Fair enough, it wasn't a plan of mine either I remember thinking I'll never sleep with more than 7 guys absolute max was no more than my fingers, that's out of the window now lol.
      A lot of my experiences only a few of them were really good, only four of them I would consider are actually good experiences, and out of the 12 only 2 of them I had sex with more than once. I've only actually had sex 19 times (not including multiple couplings in the same night. One of them I woke up next to a guy after the night out, I didn't remember leaving the club let alone meeting him or inviting him round, that was scary and I wish no one else gets like that, ya know maybe I can help educate others in a more meaningful way then just don't do it, I mean anyone can say that.
      If you have any more questions don't be afraid to ask I really don't mind.

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