Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health 
A lot of people always criticize me for my methods of flirting. But then again they don't understand the benefits of how romantic the little things in life can be.
Like throwing bricks at people for example.
I've started to get tired of people's ignorance, and it's time I share the truth about how my methods are romantic, and certainly not ridiculous.
So my take shall be called...
7 reasons why it's romantic to throw bricks at your crush.
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Now let's get this started!
1.) It gets their attention.
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Imagine your crush walking by.
You write a romantic letter, and attach it to a brick.
Your crush is waiting for their bus, as you duck behind a corner. Hoping to not be noticed, so flustered and nervous, then you take your brick in hand, and throw it full speed at their head.
They become red with passion, as your love letter attached to a brick smashes their heart, literally, the brick missed their head and hit them directly in the chest and they can't breath.
That's probably why their face is red, and currently pale from the apparent heart failure.
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2.) It shows that you care about them.
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Name me one time where you didn't feel flattered the minute someone found you important enough to throw an 8 pound brick directly at you and/or your house.
Nobody even wants to sit next to me in school, imagine if someone found me important enough to violate me with a brick to the face, I'd feel important and appreciated.
It also shows the skill involved in throwing a brick directly at their head, not exactly a common way to flirt, and that specialty isn't easily ignored.
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3.) It shows them that you'll love them, no matter how they look.
I'm tired of so many people worrying about those beauty standards.
Making their skull fracture into several pieces shows them that you don't care how they look, and still love them regardless.
You'll walk over to them right afterwards and say "Hey, I may have just ruined your appearance, and potentially gave you severe brain damage, but I still love you for your personality and charisma."
Not only are you outing yourself as the person who threw the brick, but you showed them you care about their well being more thank their physical appearance, unlike all those other misogynists out there!
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4.) It makes the term "crush" pretty accurate.
I feel I shouldn't need to explain why.
If they're into BDSM and they have a gore fetish... a brick lodged through their skull while the hardened clay separates their spinal cord from their brain stem should be a pretty big turn on.
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5.) They'll be impressed by how you obtained the brick in the first place.
A thought I'll have (if this happens almost every day, which it should if you're not a beta) is "Where does this person keep getting all of these bricks?"
To have that many bricks that aren't tied to a certain structure is impressive on its own. Mainly because I'll either think you have a surplus of bricks that you throw at me (which is impressive on its own), or you remove bricks from other buildings which means you're a renegade and don't play by the rules, which is pretty sexy honestly.
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6.) Throwing a brick at someone is a pretty clear display of dominance.
You know what the first thought that goes though my mind when a brick is hurling towards me at 25 mph?
It's probably "oh hey there's a brick heading towards my face."
But do you know what my second thought is?
"Who threw that brick?"
To be the person who has a brick is a pretty decent symbol of power and dominance, and to be skillful enough to make me wonder whether or not my skull is about to split in half is pretty note worthy, if not a bit sexy.
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7.) You'll be great at making daring entrances into their car/home.
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Ever been impressed by a your crush making an entrance into class or work? Always full of energy and walking in like they're in charge? You can do the same, especially when entering their property.
Some may feel threatened, but they'll mostly be intrigued by your daring and bold actions, especially if you were invited to enter normally.
Breaking and entering just gained a new meaning. ;)
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Wrap-up
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I don't get why so many people think flirting is difficult, if you follow these tiny little tips, you'll know how to make winning your crush over child's play.
(HI, if you made it this far, yes this is satire. I feel the only reason I should explain this is because I'm not The Onion. That and I'm pretty sure some people won't get my point and will try to hurl bricks at strangers. This was a parody on the bullshit flirting tips I see in myTakes that are pandered to the most gullible audience possible to the point of being juvenile and annoying, so I just say I throw bricks at women as a form of flirting at this point. You good? Alright back to reading.)
Throwing bricks at your soul mate can be very effective. It's romantic, it's alluring, and it will help you build your relationship with this person, Brick by Brick! :)
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Have a great day everyone. :)
(also I can't change the topic from sexual behavior to flirting, it's a glitch, please fix it admin.)
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