Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health 
I’m currently in my third sexual relationship. During my first two relationships, my partners and I used condoms and spermicide because I was afraid of hormones—I’d heard horror stories from the web and from my girlfriends about the side effects of the Pill, the patch, and Nuvaring. So my partners and I got by with other things.
But my current relationship was different. My boyfriend and I both knew from the beginning that this was “the real thing.” It was more intense on several levels—emotional, psychological, and sexual. Sex was more passionate, and it was more frequent.
So, several months into this relationship, I made a decision. My periods had always been heavy, crampy, painful, and irregular, but I had just suffered in silence. But one day it occurred to me how lovely it would be for my boyfriend to be able to come inside me—me, not a piece of rubber—and that if I could make my periods lighter and easier at the same time, this would be one of life’s great keys to happiness. I still remembered the horror stories about the Pill, but I knew that millions of women use it and I reasoned I could always just quit taking it. So the next day I moved up my gyno appointment, and a few weeks later walked out of it with some samples and a prescription for Ortho Tricyclen.
Once I started it, I got myself an app to help me to remember me to take it on time. Boyfriend and I agreed to wait at least a month to stop using condoms—the idea of having sex with nothing visible there to stop pregnancy was a little anxiety inducing, especially for me—and anyway I wanted a month of practice to make sure I was going to be good at taking it as I should. I also wanted time to see what side effects would pop up.
To my amazement, the only effects I experienced were good ones. Other than a little discharge for the first several days I was on it, nothing bad happened. By the end of that first month I noticed my skin was clearing up. My boobs grew a bit—no more than a cup size, but since I’m a bit small, it was welcome. My libido stayed high. And when my period came, what a change for the better! Light and relatively painless. By this time I was thinking “Why didn’t I try this before???” Despite all the horror stories and all the fears, I turned out to be a poster child for a positive experience with the Pill!
A few nights after I started my third pack, it happened. It wasn’t a conscious decision on our part—I think it was just the fact that my period had just ended and we had both gotten comfortable with the idea of me being on the Pill. There was no discussion—when the time came my boyfriend simply didn’t reach into the drawer where we keep his condoms. Instead we just held each other close, I opened my legs, and he slipped inside. It was as simple as that. It added an extra dimension to our lovemaking to have nothing between us—both psychological and physical (especially for him in the physical department.)
I had planned to ask him to pull out the first few times, just so we could ease into the idea of being protected by the Pill. But that didn’t happen. It was too intense a moment. But something else unexpected happened. I easily and quickly had an orgasm.
I had had orgasms during intercourse before, but not very often—usually my boyfriends would need to give me one beforehand. And when I did have them during intercourse, it normally took some doing. But not this time. It came very naturally and easily. (And it goes without saying that without a condom, my boyfriend had absolutely no trouble having one either!).
I chalked it up to the novelty and extra intensity of our new-found freedom from condoms and didn’t think anything else about it—until the following evening, when we had sex again, given that it had been so pleasant the night before. And again I had an wonderful orgasm during intercourse.
Before long this became the norm. Sometimes, now I will even have two or three. At first I was amazed and grateful. I still am, but now I realize what had happened. I had come to trust the Pill. Before I was always nervous, always feeling the base of the condom to make sure that it hadn’t slipped off, always waited to hear my boyfriend say afterwards “Oh my God—it broke!” I never heard that, but I always feared I would.
But all the effects I got from the Pill showed me that it was working, that it was doing something, that it was always there. All the fumbling around a dryness of using the condom were gone. I was protected and safe (well, as safe as any woman on the Pill can be, nothing’s perfect of course), and so I was able to relax far more during sex. In short, I was, and am, convinced that being on the Pill has made sex more enjoyable for me, and it has made it easier for me to reach orgasm.
This has often—maybe usually—NOT been the case with my friends, and reading various posts on the Web, it doesn’t seem to be the case with most women. But surely I can’t be alone. What has your (or your girlfriend’s) experience been with the Pill? Has it gotten unjustifiably bad press all this time? Am I a freak, or are there others like me? Please share your story!
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