Sexual Relationships
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My Rules for Friends-With-Benefits!

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So, you've been seeing this guy or girl for awhile, and still haven't went into "dating" territory. Neither of you want to settle down yet and you're both getting something out of your sexual arrangement. Everything is going great, right--you're keeping things under control, you rarely actually go on dates, you get to feel sexy a few times a month! What's the problem? Scared to fall in love; don't worry!

1. Don't treat them like a sex object--when not in the bedroom (unless they like that kind of sexting etc.)!

2. Get takeout food (We like Chinese, Mexican and Italian)!

3. Go out with them once in awhile (take them to the club/a restaurant; rarely but surely)!

4. When you do have sex, make it amazing! Please them, and let them please you. Push your limits if you're into that kinky stuff--but still respect your hard limits!

5. Remember to get in shape for both them AND you, so you feel confident about yourself!

6. Keep the feelings at bay--see other people or at least allow yourself to fantasize about someone other than them.

7. Understand that they probably don't "love" you, BUT they're quite possessive over you because they've at LEAST created a physical attachment.

8. Have normal conversations (but not on very emotional topics) --but NOT if you ONLY want them to be a "fuck buddy" let them know you only want to contact them when you're going to see each other/fuck etc. (Don't make them think you WANT to be friends too!)

9. Be able to be upfront to your Friend-with-Benefits and don't ASSUME you're always on the same page if their actions start to change immensely. You know what I mean--you start out as "dating" but turns into fucking at their house eating pizza...no makeup, nothing sexy about that.

10. Use the 4 agreements in your arrangement; "Be impeccable with your word. Don't take anything personally. Don't make assumptions. Always do your best."

BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY; HAVE FUN! Try to see if the "barely works out arrangement" can work for at least a little while!

--Going on a year with my Friend-With-Benefits! Why; We follow these rules!

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Been there done that. Sex is much better in a loving relationship and most guys in a friends with benefits relationship only worry about their own pleasure because they see their friends with benefits as not good enough for a proper relationship so why bother, they dump her as quickly as they can find a better woman.
    Also someone always ends up getting hurt, usually the girl.

    • Yeah, I already had a "loving" relationship and he wasn't nearly as passionate as this guy

    • Maybe because you didn't love or want that guy. Anyway I've said my peace, continue you on with this friends with benefits and you will get burned.

    • Alright, whatever

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Most Helpful Guys

  • You know, I think the death of Love and Monogamy is ridiculous. Women are more depressed than ever, yet you think you're all great for sleeping around. That's why very few modern men wanna marry.

    I hope you enjoy your life when you're 45 living in a dirty apartment with six cats... because that's the reality of the young indoctrinated girls such as yourself.

    • If you have nothing nice to say don't say it. He's the only one I'm fucking, damn.

    • and Oh, you're from Ireland... guess that's really unpopular where you're from, even though I DO NOT sleep around--but he does, but idgaf!

    • Yeah well that's the stone cold truth of the matter. More and more women are depressed and unhappy than ever before. 4/10 women in their 40's are on anti-depressants because they share your attitudes (which is just all about "fun" emotionless sex like an ANIMAL. This HURTS society and is NOT GOOD for people. It's the sad truth. Find true love, have a meaningful connection. I'm sure you'd feel more happier than otherwise using another human for his body, whilst being used and essentially acting like an animals with no feelings or emotions. Sorry to be rude, but girls now just wan fun and sex and they don't realize the damage it causes to themselves and to men.

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  • Nope. I tried having a friends with benefits, it's a waste of time and goes against everything I now stand for. Glad it works for you but very few people should be engaging in it.

    Originally I looked at it in a positive way, not anymore.

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What Girls & Guys Said

6 19

  • friends with benefits are for those who can't handle a real relationship that could last a lifetime. They may have sex but they usually wind up old and lonely. Friends are great, but they can't take the place of that yarning in your heart for a real committed relationship.

    • That is not always True lol maybe they are just not going to settle for something they dont Love lol You know It is Always Lonely at the TOP

    • @TheWombRaider It is true. All friends with benefits care about is sex, nothing else.

    • You realize if a girl is willing to be friends with benefits with a guy the guy gets everythign he wants out of a relationship and none of the baggage the girl how ever does not she can suck and fuck jsut about any guy with no effort as in she can walk up to any guy ask to blow him and chances are he will say yes if a guy did that to a girl he would be slapped arrested u name it its not the same guys h ave to work for pussy and head girls dont have to work for dick at all

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  • I've had a couple of very distrastrous experiences with FWB's. Fuck buddies are no problem, but a friends with benefits situation blurs the line way too much.

  • Having in your case a boyfriend could be better, just saying.

  • "Whatever works ~ works"! If the rules are mutually agreeable then it should be more likely to work, at least until one party decides its no longer to their satisfaction. However the facts are, "men only put the make on women when the woman decides to allow him to do so". Men might think they rule the world but its women who actually rule. We men are "slaves to our lusts" for the female and when a woman realizes this she can manipulate a man into doing almost anything.

  • That's just about the most utterly fucking disgusting thing iv'e ever read. Thanks for making me throw up a little in my own mouth.

    • If you don't like it, don't say anything. Move along and go away. He's the only one I'm doing anything with... I'm no whore. Bye loser.

    • Pretty whorish ngl

  • According to me friend with benefits is just fullfill eachother needs without any type of deeply love from heart ♥... It's materialistic is now in these modern world and about a male and female friends with benefits sure both sometime need a joyfull bed life but no emotions because in friend with benefits it's just a game of orgasm and orgasm finished everything finished...

  • Missing the golden rule: Don't be surprised if it ends at any time for any reason or no reason at all, and never be afraid to end it for any reason or no reason at all. Other than that pretty solid rules to follow. Problem is it's extremely difficult to find someone who can handle being FWB/fuck buddies.

  • Good job

    • Really?

  • I feel like people make this shit 50x more complex than it needs to be

  • Pretty well written

  • Why are you advising others to put themselves in a situation that dissatisfies you? You're responding bitterly to negative comments and you're also telling people that you wish you could have a "real" relationship with your friends with benefits.

    Misery really loves company.

    • This was supposed to be general. I might actually leave and come back with a new name

  • This is what I need.

  • I have had 3 friends with benefits. The first didn't last long at all. Number 2 carried on for over 7 years and number 3 is now my girlfriend. These rules are solid and I follow most of them myself.

    • Thanks Mr

  • What does that picture of a woman sitting on a motorcycle have to do with this?

  • Good take, but I have to say, I think people who do friends with benefits don't understand how relationships work.
    They think because you are bf/gf you have to live by someone else's code, which is untrue.
    The only code that matter is the one you BOTH agree to.

    I say this because most friends with benefits are like unofficial relationships, in that, they do ALL the relationship stuff without the title.

  • My friend with benefits do to culture she a widow her husband was killed in a car accident 10 years ago she ready to move on but her family forces there beliefs she should wear black and be celibate for rest of her life and she only 41.

    • It's with a woman interesting. I never really thought about that kind of arrangement. I kinda assumed that people came out now and just stayed out. How do you feel being in this dynamic?

    • Tough luck having a culture like that.

    • I think some people stuff it done cause in some cultures taught to stuff it done she 48 so she from different time where some were put commit for being gay. I was outed by a “friend” when I was 15.

  • True

  • I’m of the opinion there is no such thing as friend with benefits.

    You are either in an unhealthy relationship or a healthy relationship.

    • Let's just say he's almost my boyfriend--because I'm not seeing other people.

  • Almost the exact rules I follow.

  • I'd say you got it right.

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