I'm a nineteen year old virgin and I never been on a date. I don't see the point in waiting anymore. I'm not waiting till marriage or a relationship happens because I can see why it's pointless. I just want to get my fear of sex over with.
Why not wait till marriage?
Most women these days end up getting married in their late twenties or later in life. Most men have no interest in continuing to date a woman who's waiting till marriage, and I'm not interested in lowering my dating pool and excluding awesome guys by waiting till marriage. As a woman, I know I will get more and more horny as I get older so I'd be very unhappy and bitter until I wait till marriage. If I wait till marriage, there's also the possibility that I find out that my future husband and I aren't sexually compatible. I feel that it's very important for me to have some experience with sex and know what I want sexually before I get married to the person.
The expectation of a woman waiting till marriage or a relationship is rooted in misogyny
Why is it a very big deal to lose your virginity but your first time driving or your first kiss is not that big of deal? How come barely anyone expects guys to wait till marriage or a relationship? There's way more women voluntarily waiting till marriage than there are guys voluntarily waiting till marriage, so something is obviously wrong here. There's a double standard of prejudice that women should be pure and men should try to sleep with many women as they can. How does that not fit the definition of sexism? As a woman, I don't support or promote any form of misogyny so fuck that.
Why not wait till a relationship or the "right" guy?
I'm not psychic or smart enough to know who will be the "right" guy. How can anyone be that psychic or smart enough to know who the right person is for them and if that person will be with them forever. You never know what the future can hold. It takes a very long time to know another person well enough. Either I or he might realize later on were not meant to be, and as I said earlier, most guys aren't willing to wait that long to know you like that. People change as they get older. And shit can happen in relationships. Divorce and breakups happen a lot these days. It would be very unrealistic of me to expect that the first guy I do it with will be the last guy I do it with.
I heard it's very common for emotions to be tied into sex when you're in love with the person. If the first guy I have sex with is also the first guy I fall in love with, I know I would be very emotionally devastated if he eventually breaks my heart down the road and I would regret losing my virginity to him.
Rape is more common than you think
As much as I try to "prevent" it from happening to me, there are many stories of girls getting raped in the most unexpected times and places. I'm really not interested in potentially losing my virginity to a rapist. I'm a college student and it's more common for girls around my age to get raped. I feel like the longer I wait, I put myself in more risk of having my first time with a rapist.
Who do I want to do it with?
Some guy who I find physically attractive, who doesn't have an STD, who is single, who I'm not in love with or have a crush on, who is okay with kissing and cuddling me, who listens to me and won't do something I'm not comfortable with, who I can trust enough to have sex with, who I don't consider relationship material but as friend and fuck buddy material, who doesn't have a horrible personality or an attitude, who's readily available and lives near me, who wants to be my fuck buddy until May, and who's not having sex with multiple people and is willing to only have sex with me until May. When I go back to school after finals, I want to find a fuck buddy and I do have some guys in mind.
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