"Using someone for sex" does not exist. Stop saying it.

Thatsamazing

This shouldn't take too long.

This is really, really simple, people.

This is mainly directed toward girls, since sadly they seem to be the ones who far more frequently are putting this nonsense out there on the Internet, but also some guys need to hear this: If you have sex with someone, it was because you chose to. Period. And if you didn't want to do it, then you shouldn't have done it. After the fact, *the guy does not owe you something.* Girls, just because a guy fucks you does not mean he owes you a relationship, any more than you owe a guy sex for being nice to you. He doesn't owe you anything (unless he knocks you up; that's different obviously).

Stop patronizing yourself and pretending that he like manipulated you or something-- aren't you allegedly a big girl in charge of your own person and your own body? Yes? Then if you had sex with him, it was because *you chose to,* which means he didn't "use you for sex" any more than you did the same thing to him.

If I use a hammer to strike a nail into a board, I'm definitely USING that hammer, because the hammer is an inanimate object that has no say in what is happening. Yes? Well boys and girls, TWO PEOPLE having mutual sex = no using is going on. The only "using" that can happen as a result of sexual activity is called rape or blackmail. Were you raped or blackmailed? No? Then you weren't "used" just because he doesn't want a relationship with you, just like (boys pay attention) bro you weren't "used" just because she wanted you to buy her dinner before fucking her (or not) later that night. --you didn't have to buy her dinner, dude. You chose to. Stop complaining about your wallet.

Rando Internet girl: "But, but I FEEL used!" Um... that *doesn't fucking matter.* There's this nice thing that exists called objective reality and it doesn't back up those feelings of yours. But hey if that's how you feel, after a guy has fucked you a few times but then doesn't want to "be official," whatever the hell that means, then that's perfectly fine! Know what your options are?

--Don't fucking have sex with them anymore then.

Saying that you were "used for sex" is stupid, and just makes you sound stupid. So, stop. Fucking hell.

~ Thaaaanks. Hugs and kisses.

"Using someone for sex" does not exist. Stop saying it.
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Most Helpful Girls

  • GGasks
    Random hookups with out calling are not being used for sex. Friends with benefits is not being used for sex. The only time I’ve ever heard this complaint was when two people agreed upon a relationship and that agreement was then broken after sex. And just because that happens to be how someone feels doesn’t make it true. They could’ve genuinely felt a disconnection, found they weren’t ready for a relationship at a coincidental time. But in some instances, when it comes to being the shunned party, it can feel pretty crappy.
    Is this still revelant?
    • If you take a car on a test drive, are you obligated to buy that car? Should you be? Would a world where that's required make any kind of sense?
      With that in mind, what if they turn out to be sexually incompatible? Or maybe the guy thought the sex was just god awful and he realized he had no reason to go any further. I mean think about it... if the sex were any good, why would a guy want to start from scratch so quickly after just getting some traction with an already decent sex partner?

    • GGasks

      So you agree?

  • Anonymous
    What is considered sexual blackmailing? Because when I think of using someone for sex, I think about guys lying about their intentions. I honest that I am looking for a relationship and guys who just want sex lie and pretend they are too so they can try to hook up with me. That's what I consider using someone for sex
    Is this still revelant?
    • ... I think you need to reread the well-explained Take ^ right up there in order to properly understand why what you just wrote isn't correct.

    • Anonymous

      I don't need to re-read it. You never explained what you meant by blackmail

    • Such as taking indecent photos of the person and then threatening to expose them if the other person then doesn't give them sex, as payment. For example.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • Brainsbeforebeauty
    You sir are really clueless and really immature. But women can use men for money and be called gold diggers? Wouldn't by your own definitions above apply there as well?
    Of course not. CUZ you just one of few clueless men (see, said few cuz I know not all men are idiots) with that double standard bullshit. Noone really wants to hear it.
    • ... I don't think you read the Take. You simply read the title. It's not exactly very long. Try again.

    • Nah thanks but no thanks. Once was enough waste of time but thanks anyways

    • Mmm... see, I say that mostly because, if you were literate, you would have noticed the part where it says "just like (boys pay attention) bro you weren't "used" just because she wanted you to buy her dinner before fucking her (or not) later that night. --you didn't have to buy her dinner, dude. You chose to. Stop complaining about your wallet." in the middle.

      You're an idiot.

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  • VaIiant
    You can be used for sex, if you consented after being coerced, manipulated and lied to. If a man tells his girlfriend he loves her, knowing it’s her condition to have sex, and then breaks up with her after, he used her.
    • No. He didn't. Wrong.

    • "The only 'using' that can happen as a result of sexual activity is called rape or blackmail." That's right up there. Did you not actually read it? It's not very long.

    • Gunnar1978

      I know it's an old thread but @Thatsamazing brought it up recently in another question, so I want to state something to this comment:

      If you have a deal with someone "you give me A then I give you B" and after receiving A you don't give B, than that's the essence of deceiption, meaning you "used" the person to get A. That it's not against the law because there's no written contract doesn't change this fact.

      (Needless to say, but I want to: A is "fuck" and B is "love".)

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