Continuing previous take The Perks of Dating a Man with a Foot Fetish
I would like to point out that there are many guys who have a foot fetish without being submissive at all. There are dominants who have a foot fetish and there are many who have a foot fetish without having any interest in BDSM.
I have had a foot fetish since before I was a teenager, almost a decade before I became interested in BDSM submission. At that point it always seemed natural for me to include my enjoyment of feet with my feelings of submission, but I have learned long ago that a foot fetish does not necessarily lead to submission. It greatly depends upon the individual.
I have read commentary that any man who enjoys kissing feet cannot be a dominant because of the nature of the act but in my view that is obviously ridiculous. I have seen comments from many dominant men in foot fetish groups on FetLife about how well their fetish incorporates into being dominant. And there are many guys who post about enjoying feet but not being particularly interested in a power exchange situation.
That said, there are plenty of guys who have a foot fetish and are also submissive, and the two dynamics often work well together. Feet are the lowest part of the body and in vanilla society to be at someone’s feet is often viewed as a sign of submission or conquest. I read many comments on The Submissive Guide, FetLife, and other sites from submissives who greatly enjoy being at their dominant’s feet. Several months ago a thread in a M/f section of FetLife asked female submissives what situation they enjoy most (I do not remember the exact question on the thread) and response after response was that they enjoyed being at their Master’s feet. This really grabbed my attention but I quickly realized that this was not a foot fetish issue, it was a sign of submission. It did point out to me how lucky I and other guys are that we are able to combine our foot fetish with our submission, because the two work so well.
I believe that it is not common knowledge regarding how much variety there is for those with a foot fetish. Because of this, it is not reasonable to think that one understands what a guy likes just because of the knowledge that he has a foot fetish.
Feet are feet, right? What sort of variety could there be, just size and shape? There is a lot more variety in the desire of a foot fetishist than you might think:
The person attached to the feet: while there are guys who may not care much one way or the other about the person they are interacting – the “disembodied feet” syndrome – I believe that is rare. I believe this surprises many who do not know much about the subject, the person attached to the feet are usually important. There are guys who pay women for the enjoyment of worshiping the women’s feet and from what I read it is a lot more enjoyable when the woman enjoys it, and even more enjoyable when the woman is nice to be with as a person. And for myself and the friends I have who also have a foot fetish, it is especially true that the person attached to the feet is much more important than the feet. I was very lucky over 15 years ago to meet a woman, my Princess, who has always enjoyed attention to her feet. Even before I met her, had I met someone who was neutral about it but let me satisfy my fetish I would not have received nearly as much enjoyment from it. As with everything in my view, mutual enjoyment equals magic.
Shoes, boots, socks, nylons, other footwear, tattoos, polish color, and/or bare: My fetish has always been for bare feet by far, although footwear is also a somewhat pronounced interest for me, so it was surprising to me to learn over the years that guys are all different in what they enjoy. Many guys have a specific preference about what, if anything, is worn on the feet and for bare feet many guys have a preference for or against polish or particular colors of polish. There are also guys who enjoy articles of footwear when there is no-one inside, and there are some guys who purchase used footwear from women, but often it is important for the footwear to be worn in order for the guy to enjoy it at the moment.
Size, shape, and feel: I have seen many guys post specific preferences for or against small feet, large feet, medium-sized feet, thin, wide, smooth, wrinkly, small toes, long toes, thin toes, wide toes, and even the size of the second toe relative to the big toe can be important to some. That said, I believe that many guys do not have strong preferences about most of these unless the shape or size is extreme, and some guys have only slight preferences.
Part of the foot: Toes, tops of the toes, pads of the toes, between the toes, arches, soles, ankles, tops, and heels, many guys have specific preferences. Whenever someone posts a photo of their feet it seems as though someone typically requests a different angle.
Many guys do not have any submissive psychology in their enjoyment of feet but for those who do, there are a wide variety of dynamics.
Forced foot worship is a fun dynamic for many sub guys. How can it be “forced” if it is enjoyable? I could ask the same question about certain aspects of whipping, bondage, or many other BDSM-related activities. Consensual non-consent is an entire topic in itself.
Another fun dynamic is as an active show of submission, such as kneeling down and kissing, washing, rubbing lotion on, massaging, and/or giving a pedicure to a dominant’s feet. I know one male sub who gives free pedicures at private parties to many women who are dominant, submissive, or even at vanilla parties. Serving as a foot rest is also popular. I believe that submitting at a dominant’s feet is very popular for subs who do not have a foot fetish, so add in a foot fetish and the experience can be even more enjoyable. Often central to this dynamic is the enjoyment the dominant receives.
Trampling is another common activity, often involving pain or at least discomfort. I don’t see how guys could withstand some of the extreme trampling such as full weight in high heels or full weight of bare feet on his face, though I can understand the enjoyment of being trampled on in less intense ways.
Foot jobs are another common activity, involving someone using their feet to bring a guy to climax through direct genital pleasuring, or if not to climax then close. I do not know how common this is and for the past several months there has been an open challenge in FetLife foot fetish groups from a dominant woman who is looking for a guy to orgasm from a foot job, with some guys expressing a desire for it but no takers yet.
Performing bastinado, which is beating or other torment of the feet, is another way in which a guy’s foot fetish may manifest itself, although that would typically be limited to tops or dominants who would apply the torment.
Eating food off feet is a popular activity. Personally, I get distracted by the food a bit too much to enjoy the foot but I have read comments from many guys who enjoy this.
Tickling feet or having feet tickled is another enjoyable activity for some who have a foot fetish. I am not particularly ticklish but I can imagine how great the feeling of submission or torture could be if tickled to uncontrollable laughter. “I will do anything you say!” Tickling is a fetish in itself, often involving a lot more than only feet.
Someone with a foot fetish may enjoy one or more of these activities and mindsets, or others which I do not list, but it is not at all safe to assume that a guy with a foot fetish would enjoy all or even more than one of these. A recent FetLife thread asked guys what they mean when they say that they want to worship feet and the answers were quite varied just in terms of mindsets, in addition to the variety of specific activities. For example, I enjoy forced foot worship and active shows of submission, and maybe a bit of trampling, but foot jobs just don’t appeal much to me, being tickled is sort of pointless for me since I am not particularly ticklish (although tickling feet might be fun) and bastinado is out of the question as I would never want to cause pain to my Princess, especially to her beautiful feet. But those are just my own preferences.
“Foot slave” is a somewhat frequently used phrase, and as with many BDSM-related expressions it may mean different things to different people. It could mean that the submissive is a slave for the privilege of worshipping a dominant’s feet, or anyone’s feet. It could mean being a slave only to feet, so that any foot-related activity is fair game for slavery but non-foot-related activities may not be. Or it could just mean something else, such as a generic term for someone with a foot fetish.
Humiliation may or may not be involved in the enjoyment, depending upon the participants. For many submissives with a foot fetish, there is nothing humiliating about most of the mindsets listed above such as submission or foot jobs, whereas for many other submissives it is nicely humiliating to worship or be forced to worship feet, to be required to eat their dinner off feet, or to be trampled on. As with everything in this article, it all depends upon the individuals, and the concept of humiliation is particularly one of personal preference within BDSM as a whole.
Cleanliness and Scent: clean, slightly or very dirty, and slightly or very sweaty also differs by individual and some guys have a strong preference in this, while others do not. Dirt and sweat on feet can increase the humiliation factor if that mindset is involved. If dirty feet are involved, then it may be advisable to take some safety precautions, although some guys enjoy such dirty feet that they must have a strong constitution. I met my Princess online long distance and during the months in which we were talking every night on the phone she sent me her used socks at my request. I enthusiastically opened the package only to find that the socks smelled strongly of lotion, which was not at all to my liking to say the least. That was a learning experience for me!
Gender: in many cases a guy has a preference for the gender of the one whose feet he enjoys, and that is typically understood to match his sexual orientation. For example, a straight man will typically enjoy female feet. However, that is not always the case, especially if humiliation is involved. Surprisingly, there are many straight men who enjoy male feet. The enjoyment of male feet for a straight submissive man often involves a potentially strong humiliation factor, with the mindset of being “forced” to worship another man’s feet as a very strong appeal for some straight sub men with a foot fetish. That said, male feet are not appealing whatsoever for many straight sub men. Personally, the thought of the humiliation involved in my Princess “forcing” me to worship a guy’s feet would be very interesting to me, and she uses that information to effectively tease me unmercifully about it at times.
Many guys have felt initial shame in their lives about their foot fetish. I believe that this issue of some people feeling initial shame is common for most any “non-standard” preferences such as a fetish or BDSM, and certainly is not specific to guys. For a foot fetish, some guys initially feel as though he wished he was “normal” and some even try to deny it within themselves. Many guys do not tell their partner about their foot fetish, due in part to shame and/or to not wanting to risk alienating their partner.
A foot fetish may develop at any age and may or may not have a specific reason associated with its development. I have even read comments from a dominant woman who trained one of her male subs over the course of several months to have a foot fetish, to the point where he can’t help himself from thinking about a potential dominant’s feet when meeting someone new.
Personally, I was a pre-teen when I realized that I had a pronounced attraction to feet, long before I was aware of having any sexual or BDSM desires. I was ashamed of it but not to an extreme degree, it was only to the point that it would prevent me from talking about it with others. For a few years I felt and hoped that I would “grow out of it” and stop wanting feet. Then as a late teen as I began accepting other aspects of my life, including my new fantasies about BDSM submission, I began to accept my foot fetish as a positive and not a negative. After all, if something I enjoyed greatly were to suddenly become un-enjoyable, that would be very unfortunate, since joy is not something to be set aside without a great reason.
One of the best feelings in the world is when a partner, such as a significant other, fully accepts the feelings inside of you. That can take time, especially if there is some residual shame, but it is a great feeling to become confident that something which might be considered unusual or unacceptable to some is viewed as a positive by someone special. When I met my Princess and quickly learned, through her words and her actions, that she enjoys having her feet worshipped as much as I enjoy worshipping her, wow what a great feeling.
A foot fetish is not necessarily related to submission, although for many guys the two combine well
There are a whole lot of varieties of activities and preferences for guys with a foot fetish
The enjoyment of humiliation is often involved in the mindset of submissive guys who enjoy feet, but it is not involved at all for many other submissive guys
Shame of varying degree is often involved at least initially with many guys who enjoy feet, and often this is reduced or eliminated over time
If someone special to you has a foot fetish, communicate your acceptance of that over time if that is how you feel