Sexual Relationships
+1 y

You can't force sex, so *stop trying.

This is meant to be a play on words. It's literally true guys.

There's something I want young men to see:

Really. Watch it. I'll wait.

It's a simple truth really. You can't force someone to do something they don't want to do. And here's the thing guys, you don't actually know this but even if she did agree to something out of pity -- she won't be wet.

I know. That's going to surprise most of you who don't have any experience but trust me, her outer labia will be clasped shut and will be dry as a bone. If you ever walk into a strip club, you see right away the girls aren't turned on at all. It's actually kind of disappointing. And actually you might even be shocked that vaginas are usually shut tightly most of the time. (I never really knew).

But it's reality. It really is. And fact of the matter is this: there's nothing you can do to change their minds. Move On.

And, everyone experiences this phenomenon. Check this out:

So, start going out more -- start offering something of value --> your positive attributes. And stop approval seeking. It's not how it works. You bring value in your own way, she brings value in her own way, you like each other or you don't. Simple as that.

I wanted to write this just before the evening Friday night to give you guys out there a little bit of a pick me up cause' we all know weekends can sometimes be depressing times for those who struggle romantically or socially.

And if you're not familiar with this genre of music:

it's called pop-punk. It's pretty cool for people that feel a little beaten down.

Here's another cool track:

I'm rooting for you all. But you need to accept reality -- and hey, maybe that will open the flood gates for you. Who knows, really.

#loneyguys

✌

5 0

Most Helpful Guy

  • You know, I'm increasingly seeing these phrases like "What value do you bring?" and "It's all about what you bring to the table."

    The more I think about it, the more it seems like that just isn't always the case.

    Apart from the fact that I believe virtually all humans (and please note the word "virtually") have an innate value and worth, I've noticed that I've rejected women who bring lots of value (they've been intelligent, successful, and quite thoughtful). They bring lots to the table, but I still reject them because I'm not attracted to them, not because they don't have value or bring nothing to the table. Furthermore, I've noticed plenty of people I know who bring plenty of things to the table have been rejected plenty of times. I've also known people to get into relationships where the other person brought nothing but abuse to the table.

    The simple truth is that just because you're rejected doesn't mean that you didn't bring enough to the table. It just means the other person, for whatever reason, isn't attracted to you.

    Otherwise, it's a good take. I just find the "It's all about what you bring to the table" to be inaccurate.

    • I agree. I wrote a separate take on this topic. The key isn't having value, it's having someone who appreciates your unique values and positive attributes.

    • good reply :)

    • @juliaanita thanks.

Most Helpful Girl

  • You did an outstanding job of getting that message out there.
    It's so true you can't force a girl into having sex, if as you say she does bc of feeling guilty it won't be as expected.
    You're right some guys don't get it, if a girl doesn't want to have sex why would a guy want to guilt her into it anyway?
    Sex is only enjoyable when both parties agree and want to.
    Thank you!

    • Yep. It's been a long journey of self-improvement and what not. Figured I should start sharing what I'm realizing to hekp other guys out along the way.

    • I applaud you for doing that, how I wish there were more guys like you. Thank you!

    • @Robertcw Thank you!

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What Girls & Guys Said

3 16

  • What? Most vaginas are always moist. They are only dry if you are in the Sahara. But then everything else will be dry too. Now dry naturally and wet with stimulation is a different matter.

  • Rapists seem to do a pretty good job of forcing it

  • So agree with your overall point but the female anatomy a isn’t so cut and dry. Women can be turned on even if they don’t want to have sex with you. There are many factors involved be it a certain more hormonal time of the month or she is just wetter because of a different reason. But if a woman is wet it isn’t necessarily you. So her anatomy doesn’t exactly tell. Some rape victims have reportedly been turned on rarely even though they didn’t enjoy it. Every woman is different. But a guy should never expect sex either way.

    • Yep. Like someone else could turn them on in the vicinity but not that particular guy. I am also well aware of 'body betrayal' and orgasms during rape. I think that's evolutionary. But that's not what I meant by 'force' here. I thought that was clear but I guess not. A lot of people seem to be thinking of rape straight away -- it never even crossed my mind when I wrote this.

  • I am 100% sure you can force sex

    • Rape? lol. Well I'm not considering that case you sick bastard. lmao.

    • See there? We even have a word for it.

    • Yes and I believe the vagina and labia do get wet in these situations as a bioevolutionary mechanism to prevent damage in the that area and facilitate higher chance of penetration and pregnancy maybe sad but true

    • Show All

  • While the topic doesn’t concern me, I can’t help but feel like there’s something that doesn’t quite work in this myTake.

  • What a load of fortune cookie bullshit

    • So tell me, which side are you on? What is your idea of a solution? I'm genuinely curious.

    • @s2firestar solution? You don’t need to show or add value. Trying to “show value” is essentially trying to seek external validation.

    • Well when people say something is bullshit, they at least should have an alternative in my books.

    • Show All

  • I mean, a guy *could* force sex, but then he'll likely spend the next 5-15 years getting forced to have sex as a prison bitch... sooo everyone should just play nice xD

  • and you can't force a girl to like/approve you so stop trying.

    PS: you tried very hard by writing all this nonsense

    • Weeell. Thanks for the summary!

  • People's wants are often rather fickle.

  • Good points. Thanks!

  • You obviously CAN force sex in many ways.

    What your message should have been is that people SHOULDN'T force sex.

    But even that is highly pointless. There will always be people who don't care about that. Rapists do know that rape is wrong, they just don't care. As long as people do not understand this, there will be a lot of grief in the world.

  • You should probably address this to women, too, because a lot of them seem to expect us to fall all over them when all they offer of value is... nothing, really.

  • Kk Mr obvious

  • Just because a girl is hot if that makes you interested then you are a beta chump. Be demanding and have standards. Those with no standards are gross to girls. Men with standards means they aren't desperate little bitches.

    • :rollseyes: I growing out of the 'little bitches' phase man. I'm not 20 anymore. Hell, not 17 anymore. You're probably right about guys with no standards seeming creepy. I'm still learning for sure. I'm a total late bloomer, but something tells me the flood gates are about to open up here.

    • Im just saying just because i walk past a girl who is hot to me doesn't mean im even going to talk to her. I dont date sluts so if she looks like i slut i ignore her. If i do talk to her and she's rude or something well im worth more than that, convo over, im not going to chase a bitch. Get it? When you blow off these kinds of girls which most chumps dont. Often they actually go "dayum dude just dropped me wtf" and then you actually got a real shot at them although idgaf i dont like girls like that so i keep blowing them off.

    • Well I almost never talk to them anyway. We'd probably have nothing to talk about. I have a separate issue anyway, the more I talk to someone, the less I want sex with them. So.

  • This is true. Just be patient, and if the vibes are there, it will happen.

  • I would never try to force sex, that's why I'm still a virgin, in my late 30s.
    All I wanted is a girl that I love, but she never wanted me, it was unrequited love... and it happened several times, with a few other girls, always the same story, I never had any luck in love, I guess I'm just too ugly, or too shy, or it's because I'm not rich, whatever the reason is.
    I can't change their mind, considering the fact I'm not a magician, nor a hypnotist... so you're basically saying that I should give up on life? I guess you're right, I'm too old anyway.

    • I'm not sure what I'm saying in your case. I'm not too different from you. I don't understand how men get sex. It's something that doesn't quite make sense to me. Maybe it's money? That's something I don't have a lot of if I'm not relying on family. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

    • But the point I think is that even if you got your way, if they were averse to you in the furst place then you wouldn't even enjoy the experience because nothing about it would be right. It's actually mind blowing how not-playing-around women are when they say 'no.' It's so surprising bevause you think to yourself 'what? surely I can't be that unattractive, right?' but to her it's really not a joke. So, do you stop trying? no lol. I don't think that's a good idea. I think you just drop your expectations so low that you expect a 'no' as the default answer and get on with daily life until you get a 'yes.' I don't think it's possible to ever expect a 'yes' so it will probably be pretty surprising. But that's probably the way nature intended. It is what it is.

    • I think accepting that can set a person free by lifting a weight off their shoulders so to speak.

    • Show All

  • "I even make the bitches I rape cum"- eminem

  • This is good advice. This is the key to avoid the nice guy syndrome mentality. However, while most guys agree that losing a crush isn’t the end of the world (even if they don’t admit it at first), it doesn’t address exes.

    Let’s say every single girl you have met either ignores you or has made it their mission to make you feel like you are just nothing but the scum of the earth in their eyes. Then, after a decade of looking, you met a girl who would never dream of doing anything like that. She actually gets excited to see you, she actually treats you like a human being and has made it very clear that you would have nothing to worry about. You spend an entire year being the happiest you have ever been in your entire life.

    One day, she starts becoming distant and it is starting to scare you. You try to assure her that everything is ok by making her a lovely dinner, but she was still down in the dumps and brushes away any question of if she’s feeling alright. Later that weekend, she calls you to dump you because she “felt that was what God wanted me to do” and “it wasn’t your fault”. She continues to dodge questions as you weren’t falling for the ambiguity. You eventually gave up and it crushed you. On top of that, by word of mouth, you hear she has replaced you a month or so later and you felt even worse.

    Exes depending on their impact can have the power to mess you up in ways a crush rejection only dreams it could have. The same strategy applies. The only difference is, crushes may take a week at most but exes may take months even years to get over because everything reminds you of her and feels like it mocks you for losing someone who meant so much to you. Especially if they rebuilt your life from the ground up for the better or if they felt like an outlier/exception to the general rule the others follow.

    • That's a whole other can of worms man. I don't have the life experience for that one.

    • Dang, well it’s worth a shot.

  • The best way to treat any women is with respect don't try to force her to do anything just try to make a decent conversation. Like just make her laugh give her a decent complement and don't be an ass just because she has a suck ass attitude lol. Just walk away but what I do is I'll treat the same person with the exact energy they give me and just be like fuck it but I'm a gentleman why rush for sex or a relationship. Especially if that person isn't really interested in you like yo stop try why try hard if he or she is goin to say no they are not interested in the person.

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