Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health 
Being a male... what is that like, especially compared to being a female? Perhaps one common thing that each gender does on occasion is to attempt to place themselves in the shoes of their chromosomal counterparts and try to envisage what it may be like to be one of them. Well, here is my personal account of being in a male's shoes, specifically when it comes to sexual desire. This is mostly anecdotal, so as always some of it may apply in general, while some of it may not.
Sexual desire: my early onset
Now, unlike most normal people, I developed sexual feelings very early on. I started masturbating at the age of 7, which is abnormally young to begin such a physiologically mature activity. I don't know why that happened, but nevertheless it seemed harmless and rather enjoyable. I would do this on most nights in bed before I slept, and I remember it being heavily based on the kinds of visual stimulus I encountered that day. For example, if I saw a girl in a bikini whilst watching TV, then I would rely on my photographic memory to reproduce that image in my mind as I masturbated, and that this would directly feed into and build my sexual pleasure.
Fast-forward to teenagehood and, unsurprisingly, my sex drive increased and I began masturbating multiple times a day. It became a habit, something I couldn't really get away from. Then came university, and this time I was at the absolute monumental peak of my sex drive. Now imagine that you meet each of the following criteria:
a) You're aroused visually - aka by looking 👀
b) You have an excessively high sex drive.
c) You get turned on instantaneously - like flicking on a light switch - rather than as a gradual build up.
d) Once you are turned on, the only real way to make it go away is to have an orgasm, otherwise it just gets stronger and stronger and becomes insatiable.
e) You require zero emotional connection to be turned on or to be sexually attracted to someone.
f) The gender that you're attracted to has a very high percentage of good-looking people. And,
g) You live in an environment where the gender that you're attracted to walk around in the most revealing, seductive and downright inappropriate clothing.
The question is: How do you think that would affect you?
My answer: Relentless, constant, and incessant bombardment of spontaneous sexual urges that take over your life and make it near impossible to get anything done. You basically become a slave to your testosterone, and masturbation, or even sex, becomes more about the "release" than the entertainment, more about "flushing" out the urge to have sex just so you can be able to get on with your daily life and do normal things.
It's a ceaseless battle - one that's difficult to overcome - and something that on most days just feels like a curse, or even a form of torture.
And it doesn't help when women don't seem to understand your point of view.
No offense, but girl logic is simply retarded..
One thing that undoubtedly exacerbated and aggravated my ongoing battle with lust and sexual desire is women's attitude and logic, or, lack thereof, on this issue.
Some women seem to think that as long as their genitals are not visible, then their outfit is not revealing, or cannot be viewed or regarded as something sexual. This is complete and utter nonsense - the majority of a woman's sex appeal emanates from her breasts and her ass, not from her vagina. Guys don't even watch porn to look at vaginas, at least not as much as we do to look at breasts and ass.
Girls seem to have this bizarre habit of wearing clothes that quite obviously expose, draw out and accentuate their lady bits, then get mad when guys stare at them or become lustful towards them. It seems open and deliberate, and highly nonsensical.
Adding to this, women also seem unable to grasp the concept that skin-tight clothes are revealing. "But my skin isn't showing!", they'll say. So to try and facilitate some understanding, consider the following analogy:
It's your birthday! Yayy! And I'm such a good friend of yours that I wanna buy you a present! (Hooray! 😃) I decide to buy you a coffee table, but I also decide to wrap it in completely tight, form-fitting gift wrap. Now when I go to give it to you and you look at it, are you seriously gonna have no idea what the gift is until you take the gift wrap off? Or will you know right away exactly what the gift is, AND almost exactly what it's gonna look like (apart from the color), even without unwrapping it? The answer, I'm sure, is the latter, right? So the question is, why?
Answer: Because form-fitting coverings completely expose the shape, size, form, and outline of whatever it is that they're covering, having the same effect as simply giving the thing a coat of paint. As such, when a girl wears skin-tight leggings, for example, I can see every detail of her lower body: the shape and thickness of her legs, the size and shape of her ass, the exact outline, contours and curvature of her hips and ass cheeks, the way her ass moves and jiggles as she walks, what kind of panties she's wearing underneath, and even her cameltoe - the outline of her vagina. Get the point? Tight clothes are revealing. In fact, highly so, akin to bare nakedness. Covering and concealing are two different things.
Human Factors: An analogy
Before undertaking my current mathematics degree, I was studying aviation, and one of my subjects was called, "Human Factors in Aviation". During my first lecture, the lecturer said, "Human factors has many definitions, but the simplest and most common one is:
"Human Factors is fitting the task to the human.""
Now picture this hypothetical scenario:
A chair manufacturing company produces a brand new chair for the market. After a month of sales, they receive many complaints that the chair's design is causing back pain to the customers who bought it. Now, you're the one in charge of the company. Do you:
a) Assess the direct cause of the back pain and redesign the chairs to suit the shape and form of the human spine. Or
b) Keep the chairs as they are and tell the customers to have a back operation that alters their spine to suit the shape of the chair?
Anyone with at least two functioning brain cells would choose option a), right? This is precisely what human factors is all about - fitting the task to the human, not fitting the human to the task.
Now what does this have to do with male sexuality and women's dress? Well, same underlying concept. You have males that are visually aroused - something constant that cannot be changed - and you have the various outfits that women wear - something variant that can easily be changed. So to help curb lust and being sexually distracted in social or work settings, do you tell men to suppress their own involuntary nature and proclivities (the constant), or do you tell women to dress more appropriately (the variable) - thus fitting the task to the human? I will let you decide which one you think makes more sense.
I will also just quickly relay the results of a survey that was in a newspaper I read during my freshman year of uni, which found that 73% of men who worked in an office environment did not like the way the women at their work dressed because they found it too distracting. So this isn't just an issue related to me, other guys seem to have the same feelings as well.
And before you say, "It's not my problem if men get aroused", well, likewise, it's not our problem if random guys keep leering at you and catcalling you, or hooking up with you only for you to find out that they only ever wanted you for your body, and nothing more.
This is more about being mindful and considerate to the opposite sex, rather than playing a blaming game (apologies if it doesn't seem like it).
Women are NOT as visual as men are, stop saying that they are.
Women tend to believe that it's some sort of sexist and prejudiced double standard that women are expected to cover up, while men not so much. You have to understand that this is based solely on the realistic disparity between male and female sexuality: Men are visual, women are not (at least not nearly as much).
Most women prefer to read erotica than to watch porn, and the stories that they get off to are completely centered around what the guy is DOING to the girl, and how the girl is FEELING. It barely even touches on what the guy looks like since this is not as paramount to the woman's arousal as the woman's looks are to men's arousal (otherwise, they'd just watch porn like us, right?)
So ladies, please stop trying to claim that you're just as visual as men are when all of the evidence points to the contrary.
"Why not just get a girlfriend? There, problem solved."
Yeah, I mean that probably would have helped make the whole situation and ordeal a lot more manageable (presumably), but getting a girlfriend is not like walking up to an apple tree in a garden and picking out an apple, right? It takes a lot of things, there are many factors, many constraints, many obstructions, etc, so it's not always something that's within everybody's reach at any given time.
The good news..
My sex drive has thankfully died down a whole lot compared to what it used to be. I'm more in control, can get things done, and can focus on whatever I want to focus on. My marks in high school were in the high 90s, then they dropped to the 60s and 70s in my first few years of uni (due to my exceedingly high sex drive), and now they're back to being in the high 90s. So it's looking good 👌 I also published a book a couple of years ago and am in the process of writing my second 😄
Thanks for reading, and let me know if you've experienced the same sort of things growing up, or if you now better understand the struggle that a lot of men (and I suppose women) go through.
Laterz
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