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The reality of female on male rape

The reality of female on male rape

I have heard a lot of men say that they would "love to be raped by a woman" as a male victim of female sexual assault I want to address this. First I tell you no you don't. No one ever wants to be raped... why because rape precludes desire. The moment you want it... it's no longer rape. You can want rough sex, you can want rough sex with a complete stranger, you can even want rough sex in an alley with a complete stranger... but you can not want rape.

but here's some facts that you may not have thought of:

- you do not chose your rapist, your rapist chooses you. They can be absolutely beautiful, or they can be absolutely hideous you do not get that choice. She can be black, white or any other race, she can be shaven or hairy, she can be bleeding, with STD's or other communicable disease. Your preferences do not matter, only hers. And if your saying well if she was.... then you already lost the point, rape is taking the choice away from the victim.

teacher, Michelle McCutchan, convicted of raping two students
teacher, Michelle McCutchan, convicted of raping two students
Anna Stubblefield convicted of raping an intellectually and physically disabled man
Anna Stubblefield convicted of raping an intellectually and physically disabled man
Chantae Gilman admitted braking into a Seattle man’s apartment and raping him in his sleep
Chantae Gilman admitted braking into a Seattle man’s apartment and raping him in his sleep

-As a male victim you probably can not call it rape. rape is defined as penetration and if she didn't shove anything into you... it's sexual assault. Also the police are less likely to peruse the crime, and you are much less likely to see any form of justice.

-As a male victim she still has the right to any child, and can force child support from you even if she is convicted.

- As a victim you don't get to chose when it ends, how it ends and your physical state afterwords. You could be killed, maimed including castrated, or relatively unharmed.

- As a victim you lose the choice of the sexual activity. Don't like receiving anal too bad, don't like giving oral to a woman with crabs sucks doesn't it, don't want to taste her period oh well. It's completely her choice and preferences. There have been cases of women shoving things into a guys anus, and urethra (a stick because he was unable to get and maintain an erection)

-lastly you will be derided for being a victim. I have been told by someone on this site "I hope those ladies had a good time." I've been called a liar also less of a man because at 13 I got in a car with two strangers. Further you will be told that it is worse for women (as if there is any real way to compare). That guys can't maintain an erection if they're not interested (that an erection is consent) and you know that you get up with a boner most mornings and have no interest in sex many of those days....

As a closing there have been studies that show that men and women are almost as likely to be victims of sexual abuse, that it's not rare. And if you have been a victim male or female, I am so sorry that this has happened to you. There are people out there who care, and if you need to seek help. Talk to a friend, and don't let anyone tell you that you are less of a person.

Love to you all (except maybe the person who said that to me)

Anpu

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Most Helpful Guys

  • Sorry that happened to you. When I was young and immature, there was a time when I thought men couldn't be raped and how I wouldn't mind it if it was from an attractive woman. I didn't think through it properly, as first, rape is about consent. If you want it, it's not rape, but perhaps a rough sex fantasy. Also, like I take stds very seriously and like wanting to not get a woman pregnant unless it's someone I love and want to have kids with. Obviously that's not 100% avoidable eve with protection and birth control. But at least you get the choice in trying to prevent that.

    A rapist is not going to be concerned about using protection and when and where to have sex. I'm sure female rapists are not that much different from that perspective and a female rapist might want to get pregnant or give her STd to her victim. But I would not be fine if I was drugged or so drunk that I could not consent or was passed out and a woman had sex with me without me being able to hold her off or do anything and it would most likely be without protection. I would freak out wondering if I got something and all the things that could come with it that I did not have the choice to go about like with protection, etc. Furthermore, I think people point out or try to reason how a man raping a woman could be painful for the woman. There's generalities to that plus, a woman raping a man can be physically harmful to a man to and actually could cause permanent damage to him (penile fracture) if severe enough. That can happen though pretty rare when a woman is on top with consensual sex, think about a woman that don't give a fuck how she's riding or moving on a man when riding him against his will?

    • Exactly. To be dominated in bed is a common fantasy for both men and women. But rape really is a different creature all together. Thanks for sharing.

    • I'm just replying to my most just because I think I was clear, but might not have been. I said penile fractures are rare with consensual sex, but that's my point that stuff does happen even with consensual sex. But while that's rare with consensual sex, it doesn't mean that it would be rare with a woman raping a man. Just like male rapists don't give a fuck about their victims, a female rapist wouldn't give a fuck if she's riding in a way that hurts her victim, compared to obviously women having consensual sex do care. That's why people can fuck each other roughly with consensual sex and it can be enjoyable, because you're aware and doing so for their pleasure and aware of it. Rapists either don't care or some have sadistic motivation to wanting to hurt their victim. I'm sure female rapists aren't much different in that sense, plus not giving a care to having protection either, which stds could be transmitted. And just think of a psycho female rapist, raping you but then she gets pregnant and you're tied to someone who just traumatized you? That's the thing with consent, it's about choice and all these were taken away from you.

  • Male rape is hard to measure bec guys just dont talk about it I was put in a situation where while I like the girl I just never expected anything to happen she was two years older than me 19 to my 17 and I had a crush sort of puppy love situation and she took advantage of it knowing full well no one would believe me let alone that I would tell anyone what happened
    Its shameful bec you keep thinking that you could have done something but... you didn't and that makes you willing that is NOT true I was stunned and people might think oh wow your dream came true!!! Punch you on the arm and have a good day not realizing your crushed inside but it wasn't a dream oh no it was a nightmare and guys just dont have the support girls do and it will probably never stop hurting especially knowing that there are so many like me who are afraid to come out and say what happened the alternative is that guys try to make believe that they wanted it and it was all part of their brilliant macho plan but that's just to soothe their insecurities and inability to understand their own feelings
    So sorry to write something so long but this is close to my heart and kudos to those who read such a long piece I commend you for it!!!
    One quick last thought (sorry!) next time someone talks about something like their first kiss see if they look down or show any signs of shame just look they'll be there not in everyone but in many more than you would think

    • Exactly, thank you for sharing. It sucks.

Most Helpful Girls

  • I feel your pain as I've been a victim of rape, and it would be considered rape because rape is sexual intercourse against your will, or without consent.

    I also get really triggered when girls are like, "I want to do rapeplay." First, it's not rape and you won't experience first hand what it's truly like. Second, why would you even fantasize about being raped, it's not sexy, it's not fun, and it's fucking scary because you don't know what's going to happen.

    I would never wish rape on anyone, but there's some people who are so ignorant and arrogant toward victims that you sometimes wish that they could go through what you've been through just so they know.

    I also hate the people that ask, "did you enjoy it? Did you orgasm?" Like no what the fuck? You trying getting raped anally brutally the first time at 13 and tell me if you enjoyed it.

    I hope this opens eyes to those you don't think men can be raped. Just because he gets hard or cums, doesn't mean he enjoyed it or even wanted it.

    • Thank you, sorry that it happened to you.

    • Well-said!

  • Omg this was such a great post honestly and was such a good in depth explanation on what male rape is actually like and why glorifying it is just plain out wrong and coming from a place of not understanding. This completely made it understandable though 💯.

    • any crime in any gender be by man or women or transgender person is illegal for the law to be bias is totally wrong.

    • I agree, I’ve been speaking out against this for the longest but definitely will be using this for reference because it was just that greatly written. The way he made it possible to really be able to feel and see what it’s like is something I think a lot of people would benefit from reading.

    • you're right.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • First offs, I'm sorry for your pain. No one should have to go through the pain and anguish you were put through or of having their ability to choose (whatever it may be) taken away from them.
    Secondly, for speaking up about it, you have my respects and gratitude. If I wanted to advocate women and children's protection against sexual assaults, it's a fact that I'd be able to find survivors and supporters alike. But bring protection of men into the picture and the number falls like a race against gravity. Little to no survivors are willing to talk about it. I know how painful and hard it can be to talk about a painful experience like that and for that, I commend you.
    There's just one other thing I'd like to add: the definition of rape doesn't necessarily contain the term "penetration". Their are plenty of sources that either include it and forcing someone to have sexual intercourse with you or even just the phrase "having sexual intercourse with someone without their consent; with or without force". But I will agree on one thing: a lot of even these definitions seem to assume that in most (if not all) rape cases, the perp is a male and the victim is female. That's something that has to be changed. I don't particularly care as to what the definition of "bae" or "FOMO" is but I'd really like if these sensitive topics could have an accurate definition...

    • The federal definition is "penitration however slight of the vagina, mouth or anus" that's the definition from most statistics including the FBI and CDC.

    • Oh and thank you. This was gard.

    • *hard

  • The term rape is used so loosely. I don’t think many people realise the impact it has on victims.

    Thank you for sharing this! ♥️

    • thank you.

    • Amen I was assaulted by someone I had a crush on and I was terrified bec I know that no matter what I wouldn't be believed and it crushed me knowing she just was able to get away w it and that I had no support whatsoever and wouldn't be believed

  • Well written. This needs worldview.

    • I simply couldn't agree more with you @hardonesidedlover

    • @EmmaMary 💙

    • I don't know much about the subject in any country but US, Canada, Briton and a little bit from India. I didn't include them because I don't know about most of the world.

  • Fucking hell, I'm absolutely speechless. Thank you so much for opening my eyes and enlightening me. I can only imagine just how difficult this must have been for you to write this.

    • Thank you.

  • Very well said. I'm so sorry that you had to go through this. Every rape victim is equally deserving of justice and every rapist is equally deserving of punishment by law, none of them should be able to get away with what they have done.

    I remember reading this FB post. A girl stated that her boyfriend of five years revealed to her that when he was 10 he was raped by a high school girl in the neighborhood, and the girl asked if she should dump her boyfriend after hearing this. It literally shattered my heart and boiled my blood. I hope that guy is doing okay now, I firmly believe he deserves better.

    • Thanks for your input. It sucks to hear about that guy.

  • I’ve never thought about this in so much detail. Well written

  • Well said my friend!!

    • Thank you.

  • Great GREAT post. 👏👏

  • Most of the men too get raped but they can tell that's the issue. I hv some male friends who got raped by women rapist

  • I was actually raped by my cousin while I was younger maybe about 10 or 11 she was in highschool..
    Yeah that fucked me up lmao no shame in admitting it

    • Sorry man.

  • most people who talk about wishing to be raped usually have rape phantasies. they don't actually wanna be raped. just saying.

    • Agreed.

  • Didn't read but I'd let the first two women rape me.

    • Jesus Christ. That’s all you had to say? The guy was raped, you’re being insensitive.

    • @SaraLa shit my bad i should have read it first.

    • That wouldn't be rape then. It'd just be sex. You'd know if you read the article, mon ami... '-'

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  • ROFL. I've heard it all now.

  • I lost my virginity at 9 when my friend who had been getting assaulted ny his step sister offered me up to her, since she showed interest in me and in order to get her to stop molesting him. So i got knocked out and raped at my best friends house, it took years to even remember, it and a few more before anyone believed me, when that friend finally admitted what happened and apologized. However nothing happened to the sister who raped me.

    • What the fuckkkkk

  • I dont understand though. If a woman tried to fuck me and i didn't want it why do i not just punch her in the face? Im a man and strong id knock that girl out. How she going to tie me up? I wouldn't let a girl tie me up because im not a pussy. I also wouldn't hang out with a woman into that shit because they are trash. I hang out with real ladies who are more worried about keeping their legs closed than dominating and abusing men. There is literally no way this would ever happen to me. So yeah i know if you are letting strange women tie you up and are like a 12 year old boy ok i guess its possible. But idgaf if some grown man says some little girl raped him stfu how? HOW?

    • Drugs dare rape drugs work on girls and guys, in Africa three women held a guy at gun point and jacked him off with the eye towards extorting him for child support, or the two women who kidnapped that guy in Chicago (I think) one held him at gun point while the other eode him, or that woman who spoke at the women's march who had kidnapped a guy with a few other people and while he was locked in a room shoved a piece of rebar up his but. Or of course there's rape by extortion (if you don't sleep with me I'll tell your wife, drill sarget or police that you slept with me or even raped me) etc etc.

    • www.sowetanlive.co.za/.../

    • https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Donna_Hylton was the one who shoved the rebar into her victim.

  • There is a statistic out there that if 7 men came out and say they have been raped, then there are several hundreds more that did not come out saying it.

    • Still I think it's a bit of a baseless statistic.. Do you have source?

  • Great take

  • i would love to be raped by a woman tho
    sex is sex

    • Did you read it? So your saying that you are okay with whatever including dismemberment , castration, STDs including AIDS, etc etc?

    • yes sir

    • @Anpu23 he’s totally trolling, and even if he wasn’t that’s not “rape” to him according to your definitions in your take anyways

  • Thank you

  • Exactly true. Rape is disgusting behavior regardless if done by a man or woman.

    • Thank you.

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