1 mo

A Nympho's Guide For Men Who Can't Get Laid

Here's guide for all you guys who just get get your leg over and can't quite work out why.

BELIEVE IT OR NOT AVERAGE LOOKING GUYS REALLY DO HAVE SEX.

Even Hitler could get a woman, why can't you?
Even Hitler could get a woman, why can't you?

Even mostly the ugly ones do as well. Look around you, lots of men just as average looking as you are getting laid. There's a reason the world's not full of beautiful people, It's ugly people breed a lot. Yes I want to get fucked by hot guys but if I only opened my legs for the best I'd get sexually frustrated long before I found a guy. I love steak but when you're hungry a burger will do. Remember, be that burger. Don't forget alcohol and a dark room hides a multitude of sins so use that light switch.

AN AVERAGE SIZE PENIS IS OK

A Nympho's Guide For Men Who Can't Get Laid

Yes we all love a big penis, in the same way I love finding a £20 note more than finding a £5 note, but hey I'm still going to bend over for a fiver. Take a look at your father's penis, I bet it's not huge yet he still bangs your mother every night. Most men have an average penis, that's why they call it average. Stop using it as an excuse not to try. If you are on the small side or worry she's going to laugh then look for girls who aren't that experienced and fearful of big guys.

YOU DON'T NEED A FANTASTIC BODY

A Nympho's Guide For Men Who Can't Get Laid

Don't expect a fuck if you have to buy two seats on a plane but a little extra fat is ok. The main thing is to be in OK shape. Imagine you've been spotted committing a crime, how would the witness describe you to the police? Average built? Fat? Obese? Skinny? slim? If it's negative do something about it otherwise don't worry. Yes we do like guys with a bit of muscle but the average guy still can compete. Just look at how fat women are promoting themselves as the norm, do you really think these plump girls are getting the fit guys? No but they still have needs, go fill that need.

YOU DON'T NEED TO BE A MILLIONAIRE

A Nympho's Guide For Men Who Can't Get Laid

Every girl dreams of marrying a millionaire. The world is full of 40 year old virgin fat ugly women still clinging on to their dream of prince charming sweeping them off their feet. For those of us who live in the real world the main thing is he has a steady job. The steadier the job the better. If you have a trade or profession you're more attractive than a guy who just has a job. When we date a guy the first question our friends and family ask is what does he do? We like saying he's a plumber, joiner, accountant, vet. We don't want to say unemployed, labourer, burger flipper.

SEEK OUT YOUR OWN KIND

These girls struggle with the alphabet, your knowledge of basic shapes won't impress them
These girls struggle with the alphabet, your knowledge of basic shapes won't impress them

If you're from the ghettos/council estate/slums/trailer park or whatever place your country sticks those on the bottom then you stand little chance with those of superior social standing. Yes literature (and porn) is full of well heeled ladies who fuck their gardeners and blow their butlers. Many people claim to be descended from aristocratic families because their great great grandfather banged the lords daughter. But realistically your chances of getting a woman of higher social status is slim. If you can't tell the difference between claret and merlot or think opera would be better if they chucked in a little rap, then perhaps those girls in the overpriced wine bar aren't for you.
It also works the other way round. If you're from a good family and raised among well mannered educated folk you stand little chance picking up a common council estate girl who's more impressed by shoplifting skills than your ability to order in French at a restaurant. In short, know your place.

DON'T AIM FOR THE STARS IF YOU DON'T OWN A ROCKET

A Nympho's Guide For Men Who Can't Get Laid

In life we are taught to aim high, you can be whatever you want to be if you just works hard enough. The world is full of depressed broken people who have jumped through every loop and are burnt out with nothing to show for it. You may want a supermodel girlfriend but is it realistic? Take a good hard look In the mirror and ask out of ten how would a girl rank you. Better still ask a trusted female friend. Only a 5? Then aim for girls below 5 (score not age). Aiming too high just leads to constant rejection and that shatters confidence. Finding they always say yes? Then aim higher.
Hint girls left over end of the night are often easy picking.

DON'T AIM TOO LOW, IT'LL SHATTER YOUR CONFIDENCE.

A Nympho's Guide For Men Who Can't Get Laid

It's always best to aim for a girl who's your physical equal or just slightly lower. It may be tempting to scrape the bottom of the barrel in the belief they'll be easy but it often backfires. Imagine being turned down for a well paid skilled job you just matched the criteria for. Disappointing but hey not too bad better luck next time. Now imagine being turned down for a minimum wage unskilled job a retarded chimpanzee could do. Kinda hurts doesn't it? It's the same with women, if that girl you thought hey she's fat, ugly and can't be choosy, she'll be an easy fuck turns you down it'll shatter your confidence. If she doesn't want you who does? Only target girls you can cope with rejection from but stand a realistic chance with.

THE FACT I'M SINGLE DOES NOT MEAN I MUST DATE YOU

This is one of my biggest bugbears. People who think being single is shameful problem that has to be cured at any cost. It's like when someone loses a highly skilled well paid job and people tell them MacDonalds is hiring then look confused when they decline. I'm not going to date you simple to end my single status or to conform to the lifescript. If I find you physically attractive, we have things in common and I believe you actually like me and want to date me for who I am and not just because I'm a woman then I'll give you a go.

STOP WITH THE INCEL CRAP

A Nympho's Guide For Men Who Can't Get Laid

Why the fuck do these people wear the title like a badge of honour? Nobody is going to feel sorry for you and give you a practice fuck. If there's anything negative about you don't draw attention to it. Similarly stop being creepy, yes we know you want sex but don't act like a rapey weirdo.

HAVE FRIENDS

Black up, girls love it.
Black up, girls love it.

Girls like men other girls like. There's a wonderful experiment where they took a mediocre peacock and chopped its feathers to make it unattractive as possible. As expected no peahen was interested. So they shot and stuffed a bunch and surrounded him with them. Magically peahens suddenly found him irresistible flinging themselves at him. Scientists call it fisherian selection and it's well known to the entertainment industry. Just look at all the screaming teen girls at any pop concert. Use it to your advantage, even if you have no romantic interest in a girl it's still worth adding her to your friend collection. Plus remember girls love fixing guy friends up with their single friends. A personal recommendation goes a long way.

HAVE A CENTREPIECE

Not quite, think again
Not quite, think again

In interior design a centrepiece is an decorative item that draws the eye. A large picture on the wall or a vase of flowers on the dining table. They catch the eye and compel us to look. In a sea of average looking men something that makes us take a second look at you or makes us look that little longer will arouse our interest. Often a negative feature like a huge nose will have this effect much to the confusion of other men. Unusual glasses, a bowtie, a quirky haircut all can be used to great effect.

EASY GIRLS

A Nympho's Guide For Men Who Can't Get Laid

Here we discuss which girls are most likely to say yes.

REBOUND GIRLS

There are only 3 types of girl who've just finished with a guy. One type thinks all men are bastards and need castrating the other who just wants a replacement quick as possible. If she's the type who judges others by their relationship status all the better. The 3rd just goes wild and wants sex, sex and more sex.

THE HERD FOLLOWER

A single girl among friends who all have boyfriends often feels down listening to their bragging or tales of wild sex. Such a girl is likely to grab any guy who puts himself forward. If she is feeling pressurised by the group to get a man all the better. Herd mentality should not be under estimated.

LOOK FOR SEXUAL CHARGED GROUPS

Being among trusted companions in a sexually charged environment sets the mood. Hen nights (bachelorette party) is a good example. Or it could just be a normal night out where the conversation has turned to sex. Alcohol has a tendency to loosen morals and tongues leading to discussions that stir the honey pot while dulling normal inhibitions.
Getting fucked by complete strangers isn't something most girls do every day. There is a lot of social pressure not to sleep around after all. Women often need to feel they have group permission as well as their own. As the group becomes more aroused permission grows to the point of actually encouraging it.

Typically the more experienced and confident girls go first. In her temporary absence much speculation takes place about what they're doing and they grow more and more aroused. On her return nods of approval along with her report set us off even more. As more and more girls have their fun the quieter girls give themselves permission to take part. About half the women I personally know had their first quicky with a stranger while in a group that contained at least one family member, more often or not their MOTHER.

The decision to allow a man to have you is made very quickly. Men will typically become aware that the group is sexually charged from over hearing conversation and how we are eyeing up the talent. No doubt returning guys share their tales. Men will usually glance over a few times, this will be noticed by the group who will collectively reject or more likely approve of him and try to catch his eye with a smile to signal it's ok to approach. We of course notice who in the group he's looking at more. His first glance over usually scans the group then subsequent ones focus on one of us. Group permission kicks in and when he makes his move even the shyest girl can find herself being led away.

A Nympho's Guide For Men Who Can't Get Laid
A Nympho's Guide For Men Who Can't Get Laid
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Most Helpful Guys

  • Anonymous
    BELIEVE IT OR NOT AVERAGE LOOKING GUYS REALLY DO HAVE SEX - Sure, but those guys are either rich, or famous/influential, or very skillful in seduction... or maybe they are hypnotists.

    - AN AVERAGE SIZE PENIS IS OK - Aha, only if her vagina is small.

    - YOU DON'T NEED A FANTASTIC BODY - Are you sure? If I were a woman, I would have sex with that fat guy.

    - YOU DON'T NEED TO BE A MILLIONAIRE - Really? But if she can choose between a millionaire, and a regular guy, who do you think she's going to pick?

    - SEEK OUT YOUR OWN KIND - What if I don't like my kind?

    - DON'T AIM FOR THE STARS IF YOU DON'T OWN A ROCKET - I don't need anyone's leftovers, if I can't be with a girl I like, I'd rather be alone, I'm not desperate.

    - DON'T AIM TOO LOW, IT'LL SHATTER YOUR CONFIDENCE - I never aim low, and I don't have confidence anyway.

    - THE FACT I'M SINGLE DOES NOT MEAN I MUST DATE YOU - I know, no girl would ever date me anyway, unless she's ugly, fat or old and divorced.

    - STOP WITH THE INCEL CRAP - I'm not an incel. Basically, Incels blame women for their lack of sex, I blame patriarchal religion because judeo-christian-islamic priests imposed the passive/submissive roles on women, centuries of indoctrination made women weak and unable to take initiative. Abrahamic assholes are the reason why there aren't more of dominant women.

    - HAVE FRIENDS - I have "friends", they usually mock me for being a virgin.

    - HAVE A CENTREPIECE - I don't think that any girl would be attracted to that guy on the picture.

    - EASY GIRLS - I'm not looking for easy sex, I'm looking for the love of my life.

    - REBOUND GIRLS - Those girls usually end up with one of my friends.

    - THE HERD FOLLOWER - They usually follow the herd leader, and girls who are herd leaders don't like guys like me... they will advise their followers to find someone else, who is more "cool".

    - LOOK FOR SEXUAL CHARGED GROUPS - Been there, done that, several drunk girls friend-zoned me... I guess I don't have any luck at all.

    -

    Is this still revelant?
    • Anonymous

      Thank you for MHO

  • Dargil
    You need a secret weapon. Mine is having become a Maestro at oral sex.
    Once you have licked her to exhaustion and incoherent mumbling, you can be a 5-minute wonder and she will still be calling and texting you.
    Is this still revelant?
    • You may be good at oral but dropping to your knees to lap at the furry clam without formal introduction can cause offence especially in public.

    • Dargil

      Good safety tip!!! You do have to get her home first, I guess.

Most Helpful Girls

  • yourfavperson
    'THE FACT THAT IM SINGLE DOES NOT MEAN I MUST DATE YOU" is both hilarious and constantly needs bringing up because people always forget. Also the incel paragraph made me crack up because its so true. Lastsly the justin blackface photo in the friend part is the icing on the cake
    Is this still revelant?
  • wittymilf
    I’m really just staying on gag because you’re here.
    Is this still revelant?
    • Red_Arrow

      lmao!

    • wittymilf

      I totally have a lady crush on her. She’s amazing ☺️. I don’t want to do her, I want to be her 😊

    • she's the equivalent of the female Joker.

    • Show All

Scroll Down to Read Other Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

437
  • AbleLearner
    Pass on your lame advice. I'm not interested in just "getting laid". I'm looking for a life partner who is mature and doesn't just a man by mere circumstances or fortune/misfortune.

    If you won't date a "burger flipper" then you aren't really worth dating either. Everybody needs a job, and about a third of the population actually works for minimum wage... or less... so grow up, girl.

    Anyway, a mature woman dates a guy based on potential, not random circumstances. If the only thing you judged me by is my present or past income, that would be pretty stupid. Anyway, I am about to have a job making much more than the average man in my state, and because the local women have rejected me for the past 10 years, likely because I don't make enough money to satisfy their greed (and that's what it is, greed,) I have likewise rejected them.

    I am not looking for easy sex from a woman, never have been and never will be looking for that.

    I am looking for a real friend and life partner. If sex is mediocre, but I have a real friend and life partner, then as long as she is happy I will be happy.

    As for the dick size thing, I am a little above average size I guess, and I don't want any more than that. I wouldn't want an 8-10 inch dick anyway, that's gross and probably hurts a LOT in a guy's pants whenever he gets an erection. The typical vagina is only about 4 to 4.5 inches deep anyway, so a dick much bigger than that is a waste anyway. My dick is bigger than that, but I don't need to tell someone as clueless as you how big it is.
    • As for a fat woman, that's just laughable. I'd never settle for a woman who is overweight. I'm doing my part to eat healthy and get back in good shape, but I'd never date a woman with a ridiculous body mass index.

      If a woman doesn't care about herself enough to take good care of herself, then she isn't going to take good care of me either. She's useless. I don't even look twice at fat women, and I'm not ashamed to say that, and some of them are so grotesque I look the other way immediately when I see them.

      I've never seen a fat, ugly, unhealthy, or mean Asian woman, which is why I've been lately concentrating on the Asian dating scene, and hopefully I've found the right woman this time. Things are going well there anyway.

      A woman who has a 120 pounds frame but is 50 pounds overweight is disgusting, and no guy should settle for that. My younger cousin finally wised up. he used to date fat girls, but he lost a lot of weight, and found him a really fit woman recently, and now they are married. I told him he looked like a beast at 180lbs, and his wife looks awesome too. He can probably still lose another 10 or 15 pounds, since he's a few inches shorter than me, but I'm happy for them now.

      Anyway, fatties deserve to be single and miserable. Take better care of yourself, and quit lying to yourself, and then maybe someone will show interest in you.

    • And yes, I'd rather be a 40 years old virgin than know I settled for "backup sex" with a fatty or some other woman I wasn't genuinely interested in.

      I'm not ashamed of being a virgin. I'm proud of myself for making wise and prudent decisions most of my life.

      I'd be miserable if I settled for cheap sex with the wrong woman. That would be totally out of character for me, and I really do not want premarital sex at all, but honestly if my girlfriend were to initiate some premarital sex, I'd go along with it so as not to disappoint her or turn her off or whatever, but I don't go around hoping for easy, cheap, or premarital sex. Never have been, and never will be. It's stupid and it's usually immoral and risky behavior.

      I think half the people on this blog or pretty stupid, to be honest, and if they end up with an incurable STD... or worse... they'd probably deserve it, and from the attitude the OP of this thread writes with, she's probably one of the one's who'd end up with an incurable STD. A quarter of my home state's adult population has at least one STD, although most of them are curable, about 10% of them are incurable.

      premarital sex is just not worth it. Don't go fucking ANY woman without a blood test. Condoms to NOT protect you from most STDS, especially since you need to touch the damned thing with your hands to take it back off when you are done with it. You need to use latex gloves to remove the condom, or you get her poisoned body fluid on your hands anyway. So don't be stupid. If you just use a condom the way they are advertised, you'll still catch the STD... and obviously if you do oral sex on her, or finger her, you'll get an STD.

    • Jersey2

      It’s a good article. She didn’t write it for you as you are not the target audience. If you are an incel, perhaps you should take her advice as she also mentions the girl virgins who are 40 and still hanging on to unrealistic expectations.

    • Show All
  • Optymistyk
    Wow, great take. I have a question tho. What if there's a group of girls that are not sexually charged, what can you do to engage them and get them horny?
    • Waste of timex better off looking else where

    • Optymistyk

      You said if you're a 5 you should aim below 5 to begin with. Do you think physical appearance actually matters much more than women want guys to believe?

    • First impressions count

  • NearlyNapping
    I've been around this place for seven years. Not sure if that's a good or bad thing though.

    The problem is that the guys who need to hear this don't listen. It's been said hundreds and hundreds of times, but there is a certain group of guys who absolutely refuse to listen. You just can't talk any sense into their heads.

    Some of these guys would rather wallow in their misery than listen to what anyone here says.
  • Girther10
    I am still digesting the content, but I want yo ask, why the first picture? Hitler? In a bunny costume? WTH does it have to do with anything?
    • Hitler was the ultimate badboy and we all know girls love a bad boy. The ears represent his softer cuddlier side.

    • Girther10

      @purple- yeah but, that was 70 years ago, I don’t think girls like his kind of “badboy”... with or without the bunny ears.. I’m just saying it’s sort of a stretch...

  • MannySimms
    I've always been at best ordinary looking but I aimed high with women. Lots of refusals but it was worth it for the beauties. It's all about orgasms; have as many as possible.
  • Bluemax
    There is one thing I'd like to add.

    Make every effort to become more attractive to women. If you don't have a rocket, try to BUILD A ROCKET.

    Obviously this isn't possible for everyone, but it's possible for many, and it's a mystery why this is seldom offered as advice.
  • ChocolateBrowny
    rubbish, this isn't a successful life, this is an average life and a way to ruin your life.
    you're telling guys to pick up 2nds or messed up chics who are gagging for sex.
    Life isn't about sex, its about finding the right partner :D
    Your idea is to pick up wasters and students.. some of us have a responsibility, i know a tonne of girls who'd like to be in my life but they dont have the accumen to share my life.
    Sorry but you can't win by creating a guide lmao
  • SarahsSummer
  • KennyD421
    Love the way that you put it down and wow you have given me a new insight into how to make my own life more than just a feeling of not being able or just lost in relationships and having a great time without being so lonely and lost in outer space... thanks to your advice I have a new outlook
  • uniq_username
    I disagree: the higher your social status, compared to the girl, the more likely you are to score. Girls are very status-oriented.
  • TyPilot
    This couldn't have been put any better, well done! This MyTake should boost plenty of reassurance and self-worth in many people. Very excellent input!
  • IlyaTheImpaler
    haha this was kinda cute and slightly disgusting
  • The only way for an average guy to have sex is to find a disgusting lady, or buy an escort, that's it.
  • DISCLAIMER : This guide will get you women but there is no guarantee on the quality of the product. Also, no refund!
  • Good shit. I’m sure a lot of men can benefit from this.
  • Exorcist_Rampage
    Men or women who want to lay down can just buy a bed. It's that simple. They can lay themselves down.
  • COMMODOREII
    You really had me captivated by this thought. Now I'm thinking about it and you actually. Lol 😉😎
  • the_sinner
    I won't say that was helpful but that was something really very interesting I read first thing in the morning.
  • nerms123
    Dang I feel like this article was written by a sociologist. 🔥🔥🔥
  • motownplayer2000
    It's a bit flawed in logic, but I get the irony you are going for
  • robertKugler
    Bravo.. such wisdom from one so young... high five.. I hope his goes viral on social media.. Canadian Girls need your help...
  • What if I want to find a woman to be my wife and make lots of babies?
  • Wow. This is really good.
  • This is goid stuff. Read this gents!
  • Perfect MyTake
  • ask4any
    Yes. I just love the way you think!!
  • Well this was a disturbing read
    • Celtero

      The world is a disturbing place.

  • Horrible
  • SUMAIREBRAHIM
    I like this post
  • FunkyMonkee
    Would you bend over for me? I've got a fiver.
  • Massageman
    Interesting points. Even more interesting pix.
  • Fattyvapes16
    How about a night gazing at the stars
  • lazermazer
    Nice take
  • Damn it poppy...
  • Madman3000
    Don't try and womansplain our problems
  • jagra6702_ismykik
    Wow. Great post. Thanks.
  • lovelyboy85
    mine is 20 cm
  • Anonymous
    Want to see my big D?
  • Anonymous
    How do you recognize/find "sexually charged groups"? lol Hens night, often is ladies only and no guys around (from what I've heard?) so that seems like a really bad example lol. And the "finding your physical equal", I have no idea what that would be for me? lol I know my body isn't perfect, however I don't think it's horrible either, but "my equal" in the female form? No idea lol. But it's still interesting to hear women's views/takes on what guys should do though lol. :) Easier said than done is all. I still say more women need to do the approaching!! Especially with guys that they are actually interested in, and not just the ones that approach them.
  • Anonymous
    It’s not surprising that Hitler could get laid, he was a powerful man after all.
    • Anonymous

      But you pretty much confirmed what I suspected all along, a man’s physical appearance doesn’t mean much to women. It’s all about what a man can do with his body, the kind of person he is and if he has a well paying job.

    • He has to be enough physically. Of younare really short or too skinny or too overweight that still wouldn't work with great masculine personality. If you have great physique it just make things really easy. But if you are okay then all you need is high amount of masculinity

    • *of course if you are

    • Show All
  • Anonymous
    That's a nice and very insightful article... with that mind of yours I could make you cum 5 times a day every day
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