So I witnessed a 'Hookup' last night, and it was... disturbing.


Exactly what it sounds like. I accidentally witnessed a Friday night hookup. What I saw was... disturbing.

The backstory is that I was pissed off hear people have sex through the walls and was like 'fuck it, I'm sleeping in the car.'

I figured this would be good practice anyway as I have been seriously considering van life as a lifestyle recently. And well, turns out I absolutely loved sleeping in the car.

I pulled into a wildlife conservatory at like, I don't know, 3:30am. Parked in an isolated spot and this black BMW comes racing up behind me and swerves into a somewhat isolated area, but I had a clear view. Before long I start hearing the damn girl moan and I'm like "f*ck! Here we go again. WTF."

Then they get out of the car butt naked and start banging standing outside in the damn wilderness. Am I'm just like "WTF."

They're there for like two hours and I'm pissed because they are ruining my adventure. And finally, they leave and all is well again.

But I was disturbed at how the girl was behaving. Acting wild. So trigger-warning this could be interpreted as slut shaming. šŸ¤·šŸ»ā€ā™‚ļø Oh well, I don't care in this instance.

The guy was a steroid jacked dude with brown skin. Probably a Persian. About 6'1" with stubble. Age between 27-35 for both.

And there's just all this screaming and hollering and I'm just chilling in my car like:


Fucking disgusting.

So yeah. On the other hand, when they weren't around ruining the place, it was amazingly beautiful to freaking sleep in the stillness of a wildlife park. Really great experience.

But people, man I'm telling ya. Ew.


So I witnessed a 'Hookup' last night, and it was... disturbing.
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29Guy Opinion

Most Helpful Guys

  • lightbulb27
    I like that idea of sleeping in the van, out in nature, cut a hole in the top.. moon roof... got stars! peaceful! not the only one doing that... cheap too. maybe a notch on the chilly side...

    see my mind goes to... was she being raped? She being sex trafficed? Or was she drunk... agreeing? You can't trust girls cause their mood shifts and alcohol changes everything. So much crap goes wrong, but on % basis, was prob ok. This is where girls are just... screw themselves. The do this, think it's all fun, but they get upset if someone doesn't call in when they are being abused. I would have called the cops on them to check them out... they are out of order imho. Not to mention the stupidity of risk of getting pregant or disease by someone you don't know, and probably can't stand. utter hormonal stupidity.
    But that is life...
    Like 1 Person
    Is this still revelant?
  • Anonymous
    Poor baby. So you're disgusted by seeing what you saw. Grow up. You happened to be there. You could have moved to a different spot if it bothered you that much, or started up your engine and they'd probably have left. For someone who was so grossed out by what he saw, you sure managed to watch long enough to get some pretty detailed descriptions of the couple ! haha Grow a pair, dude.
    Disagree 1 Person
    Is this still revelant?
    • Robertcw

      I'm kind of a prude man.

    • Anonymous

      Everyone has issues.

Most Helpful Girls

  • CubsterShura
    One minute silence for the couple who drove so far thinking that they could find some privacy in the woods over there and someone just wrote a public post on it!
    Like 7 People
    Is this still revelant?
    • Robertcw

      šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚šŸ¤£šŸ¤£šŸ¤£. True, true!

      I guess nobody is ready for a psychopath just randomly sleeping in the woods on a Friday night. šŸ¤Ŗ

    • Robertcw

      I guess I really just don't fit in to society though. I think by my age you're supposed to have done something, or have a solid group of friends with long memories from the 19-22 years or SOMETHING I don't know.

  • BlueDream
    That's actually pretty hot. Call me disturbing but I would do something like that.
    LikeDisagree 12 People
    Is this still revelant?
    • Robertcw

      That is disturbing. šŸ¤·šŸ»ā€ā™‚ļø Would I do it? I don't know. Would I want to hear it? NO.

      Gross. Fuck outta here with that shit! Haha. I need sound proof walls.

    • KingZee

      @BlueDream I have actually had sex in a park on the tree and I tell u it's so hot!!! No better feeling

    • Rin_Chan_

      uh... i hope you would not do it if their were children around. sicko! ><

    • Show All

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What Girls & Guys Said

  • BeMuse
    What you didn't realize is it was the people you heard to the walls. They followed you out their to finish in front of you... lol
    LikeDisagree 5 People
  • Ally247
    Well... thanks for sharing. Glad we're now traumatised with you.
    Like 3 People
    • Robertcw

      Hey, if I had to see it then... šŸ¤£.

  • Rin_Chan_
    uh... i find that nasty and disturbing peace... why didn't you tell the coos afterwards? especially if it was disturbing?
    LikeDisagree 3 People
    • Robertcw

      Well, I'm not gonna call the cops. šŸ¤£ What am I going to say?

      "Officer, come quick! Two people in their early 30's are banging nude in the woods! I'm so offended because I decided to sleep in my car by the woods instead of my bed and now they're disrupting the peace of the forest!!! It's an emergency! The wild turkeys are freaking out man!" šŸ¤£šŸ¤£

      I would probably get in trouble for being there myself lol. Plus my car registration is past due aannd I don't want to get a tow on that. That would suck. :P

    • Rin_Chan_

      uh.. couldn't you just say they were disturbing peace? im sure that the cop would understand.. that at least... i hope... šŸ˜…

    • I love the part about the wild turkeys freakin' out. It made me laugh. Thanks! :)

  • Optymistyk
    I don't think they saw you or that they did it on purpose. I don't think there's anything wrong with people having sex in the wilderness. I don't think there's anything wrong with hooking up, even if that was a hookup cuz honestly they might as well be a pair. Honestly I think you might be a bit jealous, cuz there was no reason for you not to just drive elsewhere, but you chose to stay there and watch
    Like 1 Person
  • CallMeMike
    I mean people have sex.. sometimes cuddling with a tree while doing it. It's called a treesome 😉

    Honestly though, it sounds super hot, no plants were harmed and you learnt something new about sexuality. Should have called the cops though and told them to sneak along to spectate.
    Like 1 Person
  • razelove
    What you were really witnessing were humans in their natural habitat, thrusting, and thrusting, and thrusting. Also you assume it's a hook-up, some people have rendezvous locations, can't have the charges going on a card, engage in exhibitionism, hell, they might have been out to stargaze.

    Then they see your van and are like, oh yeah, that van is fucking HOT!
  • NearlyNapping
    Nothing disturbing about it. Just a couple getting it on like people have done for thousands of years. It happens millions of times every day and night.

    If it was in an apartment and they kept me awake every single night, that would be a problem. But it's something that you'll never get away from completely. So just ignore it when it happens.
  • Tdieseler
    Animalistic sex in the wilderness and you are surprised? also... I've had to sleep in my car too lol... ur right... its awesome... then again, i wouldn't call mine sleep as much as i'll call it passing out...
    after a long night at the bar, tried going home... half way there realized i wasn't going to make it... so i pulled into a parking lot... and crawled in back.. i dont remember even laying down lol...
  • orgsmgiver787
    Nicka you sound so pathetic and feeble. You said they ruin your adventure lmao. You weren't ever on an adventure. They had some business to attend to and cared 2hrs of fukn less about your pedophilia van park conservatory bestiality adventure. You said you were disturb dude you been disturbed wayyyyy before this moment and frankly Im disturbed for reading your post and this is my release
    • you replied to every one but me which disturbs me to see. Was I not good enough to watch and read like the two disturbing fornicators ruining your sweey sleep in my van down by the river adventure lmao damn you crack me up with this

  • Taylor_C
    Sometimes you understand how mass shootings come about
    LikeDisagree 3 People
    • Robertcw

      Was it an 'ahaha' moment reading this take? :P

      I'm not a murderer, but yes the motivations are the same.

  • Phoenix98
    Well in their defense at least they drove all the way out to the woods thinking it'd be isolated and empty, they probably did not expect a guy to be sleeping in his car out there lol.
    Like 2 People
  • Daniela1982
    Guess you need to wear a sleep mask and wear earplugs from now on. I'm thinking they were just giving you a show on purpose. At least you didn't have to watch porn as you had the real thing.
    Like 2 People
  • Davis04
    I have no idea what I just read but Iā€™m cracking up!!😂😂
    I mean YOLO
    Like 5 People
    I think if it were me I would have started up my vehicle and moved it so that I could shine my high beams on them. They probably were high on E.
    Like 2 People
    • Red_Arrow

      With your lights on them you will et better pictures and videos. Smart thinking. :-)

    • October808

      @Red_Arrow Make sure you shoot horizontal video.

  • purplepoppy
    If you can't beat them join them
    Like 8 People
    • Robertcw

      That's damn right. Part of the reason I'm so pissed was because I was sleeping alone IN A DAMN CAR on a Friday night.

      And then all that shit happens and I'm like MAN. This is so f*cked.

    • Red_Arrow

      Poppy said join them, not look for another gal. Rip off your clothes and join them yelling, "Now we have a threesome!"

  • MysteriousDarkness
    If you didn't like what you were seeing you vold have:
    1. Stopped watching them.
    2. You could just left the area.
    Not sure why you are complaining about it when you chose to stay and watch them.
    Like 1 Person
  • oliverofjones
    I mean it's interesting. I suppose the disturbing part is you watching but I mean they were in a public ish place.
    Like 2 People
  • midhun12
    So u didn't hear the girl moan.. u heard her freaking excitement for the joy of wonderful (pathetic) night she had.(I'm gonna die a virgin but then i realised nobody dies a virgin cuz in the end u get fucked up by ur life).
  • PeteyB
    Should have honked and scared the hell out of them, would have been really funny 😂
    Like 1 Person
  • Shark_61695
    In the uk it's called dogging. It is a little disturbing to encounter it unexpectedly.
    Like 1 Person
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