Sexual Relationships
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Fetish Mining - What it is and Why it's disgusting

Fetish Mining - What it is and Why its disgusting

If you're a girl on the internet (or someone who has been mistaken for a girl) it's very likely that you, at some point, have been a victim of fetish mining. I'm sure that this sort of thing can happen to boys too, but in general girls (especially young girls) tend to be the main target group when it comes to fetish mining.

What is fetish mining?

Fetish mining is when person A contacts person B in a thinly veiled attempt at getting sexual gratification. It usually involves some sort of "harmless" sounding question, like:

What size footwear do you use?
What kind of bellybutton do you have?
How much do you weigh?

Sometimes the questions can be even more straightforward, for instance:

Can you send me a picture of your feet/armpit/neck?
Can you send me a video of you wearing x and dancing in a cute way?

These questions might sound harmless to the untrained ear, because they aren't inherently sexual. It's not as obvious as someone asking what your favorite sexual position is, or for a picture of your boobs. Hence the name fetish mining. These questions usually revolve around some type of fetish, which by default is more of a niche thing and not inherently sexual for most people. Like bellybuttons, armpits, certain items of clothing or fabrics, certain actions, or random body parts in general.

Why is fetish mining wrong?

If it isn't already obvious to you why it's wrong, I'll happily break it down for you.

1. It's exploitative

Like I mentioned earlier, young girls are typically the target group for fetish mining. Young, impressionable girls who don't understand that there's an underlying sexual tone to the question being asked. Who don't understand that they are potentially being coerced or manipulated into giving out personal information or pictures/videos, that can start circulating the internet and get into the hands of the wrong people. Basically, young girls who don't understand that they're participating in an act that someone else finds sexually enjoyable, which weaves into my second point;

2. It's non-consensual

The whole point of the "innocent" nature of the questions being asked is the fact that the participant is unaware of the miner's intentions. In some way, the miner is probably even getting off on the fact that the other person has no idea. The miner is mining for "gold". If you want someone else to participate in your fetish, answer questions regarding your fetish, or send you pictures/videos that feeds the needs of your fetish, you have to have the other person's consent. There's no way around it. Just because the questions are seemingly "innocent" because they could be asked from a non-sexual perspective, it doesn't make it any more ok when they are being asked for sexual reasons. That's why you should always let the person know why you're asking these questions, and make sure they're ok with answering them in the first place. It is also never ok to ask minors these questions. That should go without saying, but unfortunately there are some incredibly dense people out there who still don't get this.

3. Fetish miners are often deceitful and conniving

As I've established, a major point of fetish mining is making sure that the victim is unaware of the fact that they're being asked to participate in something the miner considers sexual. This is why many fetish miners go to great lengths to make the question or request as innocent-sounding as possible. For instance, girls have been asked to write a message or some sort of slogan on the soles of their feet and snap a picture "for charity". The victim might also be told that the miner is conducting a study of some sort, and needs this information for "scientific purposes" only. Or, the miner wants to "cast" the victim in a Netflix series and needs to know what types of scenes the victim would be ok with. All of these things are, of course, completely fake. The fact that the miners would come up with such convoluted lies just to get off, makes the whole thing even more sinister.

So, how can you avoid fetish miners?

Well, the bad news is that you kind of can't, unless you stay off the internet. If you're on any kind of social media and you allow strangers to send you messages, it's very likely that someone, at some point, will contact you in an attempt at fetish mining. So the best thing you can do is to protect your privacy. Don't allow strangers to message or follow you. If you don't want to make your social media accounts more private, then all you can do is think twice before answering someone's DM, email, message or question. Being cautious and always second-guessing the other person's intentions (especially if they're a stranger) is key. The most important thing to remember is that you don't have to answer. You're not obligated to engage in conversation with these people. In fact, it's probably best to not say anything at all, and just block them. With these people, you don't really know... they might even get off on you telling them to fuck off. So it's simply not worth it. And please, if you have any younger siblings or relatives who are on the internet, let them know about this. Tell them that they should never answer any personal questions asked by complete strangers, even if the question seems harmless.

___

I'm not here to kink-shame anyone. If you have a fetish for feet, armpits, necks, certain items of clothing or fabrics, or any of the other things I briefly mentioned in this take, then you do you. As long as you don't ask minors inappropriate questions or you actively try to have other people engage in your fetishes without them knowing/giving you their consent, I don't really care.

Special thanks to beckiicruel and her video on the topic that inspired this take. I've been aware of this phenomenon since I was a teen because I've been a victim of it myself, but I never knew it actually had a name.

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Most Helpful Guys

  • Does this question by this dude count as fetish mining? Which hurts more when getting hit during a girl fight?

    I called out the dude with my answer. Luckily it seemed like the women that answered, did it sarcastically and they knew there was sexual intent even though the question was posed as supposedly innocent. He got made at me when I replied to the women saying what his intent was as I didn't know if they knew his was sexual based. It was clear to me it was a fetish question that a guy was trying disguise as innocent. And of all things, he asks the question in the girl's behavior section instead of sexuality section which shows his intent to make it seem not sexual, when it clearly was a fetish question.

    • I would say so yes, he definitely gets something out of asking questions like that.

    • I thought so. He got made at me when I called him out lol

    • mad*

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  • Excellent post. I do hope this one gets promoted, because there is a need to boost awareness of this kind of thing on this site.

    Due to the Member Post prohibition, which prevents drawing attention to poor behaviours from individuals, it really is something that people on here need to know about.

    • Thanks, I appreciate it! And yeah, I figured this is a site a lot of teens visit, so it's good to get it out there.

Most Helpful Girls

  • Yeah I've had it done to me a few times asked about simple things then said to take a pic of myself so I did and then asked for a naked pic and I didn't think I was 14 maybe 15, another used to hound me when I was 13-14 saying how he liked how jeans hang low (despite my clothes fitting fine), and how he wanted to make me sweetie bikinis and wanted to buy me thongs, said I looked sexy and wanted me to dance for him. Worse thing was I did actually know both these guys, the first was a year older, the second was 4 years older (I knew him as we went to the same youth group together)

    • Thats a different thing.

    • That's so gross.

    • Maybe but both of them were innocent to start with the former I was chatting to for around a month who I believed was a stranger (different name, picture, posted themselves as a women on fb) all pretty mundane things asked what I was doing each day asked for pictures then asked why did I cover up so much and that it was summer and said I needed to be more pretty so I wore a vest top told I was pretty for another week asking for a few more then asked if they could see me in my bra. It was only then I realised it was likely a guy and that I was being played when I spoke to a few friends about it, one of them mentioned it was this guy in school. As for the second I knew him yes, but I always considered him to be a mate, it got to the point he hung around the park outside my house, and followed me home from school, he even used to send me random messages saying "saw you on the train today, where were you going?" at one point I had to show my dad as it was getting too creepy and dad threatened to call the police on him (so yeah that one was probably different and more harassment, but I think the former is what the mytake was on about)

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  • Dude this used to happen to me all the time on G&G my private messages🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️. A dude once asked me if I would suck his toes and how would I do it in hypothetical situations. I was like wtffffff. I wasn’t even flirting with him, I told him I had a boyfriend, AND I didn’t even answer the questions but he kept asking. Just right off the bat he started taking feet and what he wanted me to do to his feet. I never knew there was a name for this, but pretty sure this wasn’t the first or last time that I’ve experienced fetish mining 🤦🏾‍♀️💀

    • Oh I blocked all of those guys by the way. I don’t even respond to “hi” anymore bc fetish mining is where it usually leads.

    • OMG the exact same happens to me 😂😂

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What Girls & Guys Said

25 82

  • On GAG, I've been contacted by people who want to have sexual conversations, clearly for their gratification. I don't engage them and tell them directly I don't talk about kinky, sexual stuff. I will discuss a sexual PROBLEM with someone who might have seen me discuss said problem in a question. But the what are you wearing, how do you come, etc crew. Forget it.

  • Holy Hell！！！ WHAT‽

    Thanks for the info. This is something fellow-Moderators should know when surveying posts, so thanks for the notice.

  • That same shit happens here on GAG where someone asks those kinds of questions to the GAG girls. I usually just call them trolls and leave it at that.

  • Interesting. This idea never occurred to me but I agree with your take.

  • A "victim" of fetish mining? I don't get it. Some weirdo asks you a weird question, just don't answer, hit the block button. Isn't that just common sense? How do you become a "victim" of that without being a total moron yourself?

    People who are too young to understand that in the first place shouldn't even be on the internet.

    • I started using the internet when I was like 10. I don’t think you can stop kids from going online. It’s better just to teach them these things so they can look after themselves. I call them victims in this case because it’s usually adults preying on minors, and how easy it is for it to escalate into something a little more serious. Just because they ask you what size feet you have, it doesn’t mean that it stops there if you don’t immediately realize their intentions.

    • You can stop them though, I didn't use the internet at all until I was 15. Don't give them access to it. There are some things you can tell kids and it just won't go in, a 10 year old is most likely not going to listen to or understand that stuff. They're too naive at that point.

    • Can you really though? They might have friends who are allowed to use the internet. They'll definitely be able to access the internet at school before they're 15. Your child is more likely to listen to your guidance rather than follow a long list of "don't do this and that".

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  • Man till know only girls asked me and believe me i was scared and thats also i believe why i am single

  • Pretty important to stress this to younger kids on the internet who might know those red flags of when they are being targeted for sexual/fetish exploits.

    • Thank You. Please, I would appreciate a DM or an OK to DM you further on this... No BS 💯 real talk.

  • This is a handful of thoughts I had on the topic, in no particular order. Sorry about my format!

    I'm concerned about the ways this label will be implemented.
    If the 'fetish' part is important because it means the targeted person doesn't know it's sexual, then there seems to be a decently high potential for misunderstandings, followed by public shaming.

    It's hard to judge intent. Maybe persistence in trying to get the person to say a particular thing? If asking for specifics in a post, for example, is seen as fetish mining, people will be more afraid to consider details at all. Outside of the social logistics, I think my guess should be helpful when guessing who to block/avoid/report/etc.

    I kinda have trouble understanding what it feels like to be a victim of fetish mining, but I'm guessing the thing that sets 'fetish miners' apart from others with the fetish is the desire for a person to misunderstand them...

    I'd also like to note that if this targets minors, then it sounds like grooming. I'd tend to lean on the phrase 'grooming' instead because it sounds more creepy, and the action in question is realllllly creepy.

  • I can't believe this is an issue? I mean, I believe it.. but it's real sad it's gotten to this stage. Sex trafficking was bad enough and is still a huge issue, all over the world. Overall, parents need to grow some balls and learn how to maintain what their kids do online so that they won't ef up their own life online or in the real world

    • Grown women are being approached this way too, not just young girls. It's an issue because it's technically sexual harassment.

    • Calling BS - if it was sexual harassment you could report it to someone. You are self-victimizing for some gain - attention at the least, and possibly something worse you are out to do.

    • @soleil2666 most people don’t report it because it’s not worth reporting. It’s too time consuming and hard to prove. If it happens online, it’s even less likely that anything will come out of it, so why would people do it? I’ve reported people who have harassed me on here to mods and admins, but that’s as far as I’ve taken it.

  • Ok, but you can always just delete the email, or the post, and not respond!

    • Yes... like I wrote in the take.

  • This is pretty much constant for females in the bdsm community. Dudes expect every Domme or sub to follow some bizarre script in their head completely centred around the dude. Girls do it too but are less assertive about it generally.

  • I've had this happen a lot on this site to the point of borderline harassment. I had one guy in particular who was obsessed with this notion of a woman like me forcing him to eat his own cum and could NOT let go of the idea of me admitting I would do it to somebody like him. He messaged me on and off for months about it until I blocked him.

    Mind you, I didn't really feel much like a victim in the equation because G@G for me is just a pastime. If this was over text or on my socials I would likely have been more bothered.

    • I think you need more practice using your block button ma'am. I didn't downvote you though, that was some other disgusting deviant.

    • What the fuck that's disgusting not in the moral way eating his own -gags

    • @EnglundUberAlles Yeah, I agree. Back then, I used to think if I blocked someone, it made me "weak" or "wrong." It was super silly, obviously, and I no longer think that way.

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  • here's a thought, use fucking common sense.

    Whenever someone asks you for something online there is usually a alteristic reason for it. When somone asks "Your a pretty women and look stunning in those tap shoes, would you be so kind as to show me the souls of your feet?" dont send them a pick, use your brain. You will get nothing out of it and if those are horny men who also happen to be bad people they might use it to blackmail you later to get rise. Stop think and be skeptical and altogether avoid if possible. And dont give me the but she is just 12/13 bullshit, if your the parent of the child, start protecting them from horny peadophiles, start parenting. Use good dating and social media blocking software to block a good portion of harmful crap they will come across in the google search algorithm. This applies to their phones as well. If your not the parent then you can't do anything about anothers parent's child's internet acess since your not the parent. Documenting sexual harrasment cases online and archiving it into a major movement won't do anything, your in charge of yourself not the media. It's easier stopped if you think and stop the floodgates as soon as possible , just like scenarios like computer viruses. You never click the big green download button that appears on a site trying to get you to play 250 flash games.

  • Evidently you are trying to raise awareness for this phenomenon. Well, consider my awareness raised. Now my question for you it's simple. Is your belly button an innie or an outie? I really think I deserve and answer considering I watched that video. Quid pro quo.

  • This MyTake is much needed! Finally I have a term to describe what I hate on here and see happening all the time. You are so right about this. Fetish miners are creepy as hell.

    • I had that same sort of aha-moment when I watched beckiicruel's video on it, it's nice to know that there's an actual term for it now.

  • Good take. I like that you clarified this stuff only becomes victimising when the receiver doesn't realize the underlying innuendo of the attempts for whatever reason and/or cannot block the contact attempts.
    This phenomenon isn't necessarily victimising but is literally an act in the works every day

    • Innuendo is just a hint - how in the world can that be victimising? You are talking complete rubbish. Nobody forces anyone to reply - at worst something like this is spam, plain and simple. The rest is just crying wolf.

    • @soleil2666 Did you read my comment in full at all? This phenomenon doesn't necessarily have to hw victimising but it can very well be with just a few con ditions or the right response. As if innuendo is the end game. It starts with innuendo and it only escalates exponentially from there and it can be by far difficult to get out of the loop the further it goes until it hits. It is victimising in the perspective where in those circumstances where the reciever is subject to all this without being able to take action against it, for whatever reason that may be and if this activity is only a link in a chain of disguised thirst-quenching. Where did I mention anything about "forcing" anyone to reply? In another sense, there can be blackmailing cases in these scenarios and that is one example. This does not need to be a standalone occurence and is often not. You're only seeing this at face value. It can be much more intricate and threatening than just "spam". Nobody's "crying wolf" here. This take is written in a very matter-of-factly manner and sheds light on this topic and informs people at risk of this being a thing that it's best they watch out for. Just having a take like this that spreads awareness about this is of great benefit to those who don't know and those at high risk of further exploitation.

  • I don't know about that, I use very male nicknames when I chat online, and I get a few perverted teen boys and men looking for sexual gratification when ever I go into a chat room and I am not in sex chat rooms. What if find even more disturbing is the women that do it, the ones I have run into all want to chat about what I would do to their young daughters or sons. Some are obviously males trying to pass themselves off as women, but there are real women as doing this as well.

  • I must admit to fetish mining for Aussie girls and redhead pale ones :(

    • As long as you don't ever do it again, then you can be a good human being. I'm not surprised that you did it since most masculine guys are like that, but I'll try not to be angry add you for it..

    • *at you

  • To be honest I don't really care if someone 'fetish mines' me on GaG. It's hilarious because they think you don't know exactly where the conversation's going. I sometimes play along for laughs 😂😂😂

    • I look forward to the day some person dm's me and tries to get off to me describing a foot. I mean, "my foot"

    • Do you have an inny or an outty belly button?

    • @Massambit Very funny 😂

  • 1) Asking someone a question isn’t exploitative.

    2) If you respond to random questions it’s consensual.

    3) I don’t see where deceit is involved. They asked you a direct question.

    Try taking some personal responsibility for your own decisions.

    • The fetish miners may target minors less than 12 years old.

    • @Dchrls78104 A question is still a question, but if you sit around losing sleep at night because you think your 11 year old kid is going to become a victim of a “fetish miner” here’s a though, don’t buy the kid a cell phone... Who knows maybe you can start spending time with your damn kids so that you know where they are and what’s going on in their lives. Maybe try talking to them and giving them guidance from time to time instead of trying to shuffle your parenting responsibilities onto a boogie man. I know crazy right?

    • *thought

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