My Decision to Stay Single and a Virgin for the Rest of my Life.

My Decision to Stay Single and a Virgin for the Rest of my Life.

When most people experience attraction towards each other, they go with the flow, get to know each other and have a relationship along with intimacy. It’s something that comes natural however for me, it doesn’t. I want to share this MyTake to show a perspective that is rare, but a great decision I made due to outstanding self awareness.

I’m 23 and made the decision to remain single and a virgin for the rest of my life. I had the same thought most women do, to have a S/O and even marriage one day. Then I thought to myself, “But wait, who would want to be with me?!” Then, it clicked. It made me take a step back and analyze myself. I realized I’m not a candidate for sex or relationships, and that’s okay!

Now most of you are wondering, why? I made this decision due to physical and personality reasons which are explained below:

-I’m 300 pounds. That thought of a woman who’s actually beautiful with a stupid insecurity left your mind real quick, right? I’m currently a subhuman fat fuck. Obviously I can lose the weight, which I am, but that’s a fraction why.

-Broad shoulders: While the widest part of a woman’s body is normally their hips, mine is my shoulders. My mom told me I have an NFL quarterback appearance and that’s when I noticed it. It’s the opposite of the female anatomy.

-Saggy boobs: Let’s be honest, men prefer perkier ones. While most women’s nipples are in the center of the breast, mine is at the bottom of the breast and points downward.

-Love handles: My love handles are the next widest part of my body, even at my skinniest.

-No hips, which are the smallest part of my body, again the opposite of female anatomy.

-Tree trunk thighs: My thighs have always touched, even when I was 130 pounds.

-Man hands and feet: My mom told me I had these as well. They are monstrous.

-Stretch marks: Due to my horrendous weight, I have stretch marks covering 75% of my body including my upper and inner arms, across my breasts and stomach, my back, hips, legs and inner thighs. They are lighter than my skin tone, making them extremely noticeable. Gross right?

-Skin discoloration: I have a chocolate/brown skin tone, but several areas of my body are basically black including my vagina, inner thighs and my entire inner butt area.

Scars: I have multiple pea sized scars on my arms, lower legs and butt.

-Loose skin: I know once I lost 160 pounds, I’ll have loose skin all over. We don’t have to go into depth, everyone knows it’s unattractive.

-Dry personality: I’m shy, socially awkward and unfunny. Most guys say their girlfriend or wife is an amazing person that has made their life complete or better, and I know I’m incapable of that impact.

Disgusting and disturbing altogether right? My appearance is scary, subhuman and borderline monstrous. I’ll be honest, it’s hard knowing that the 99% of the female population is more feminine and attractive, but not all women can have it, and I was the lucky one. I’ve considered talking to my doctor about starting estrogen, because I feel like something is off genetic or hormonal wise.

I’ve decided to remain single because even IF a guy showed interest in me, I’d immediately shut it down. They either have a mental problem, playing a joke on me or are desperate. It’d be odd for a man to pursue me, considering there are MILLIONS of better options. I’d feel awful, selfish and inconsiderate to hold a guy back from his full potential in a partner. Yes, I would love a relationship, but only if I had a different body or if I was someone else.

As a disclaimer, I don’t want anyone to think this is for sympathy. My decision is complete no matter what anyone says, because I know myself and body more than anyone. It’s sometimes hard, but once I look in the mirror, I thank myself for my decision. I hope you all enjoyed this rare perspective. Thank you for reading. 🖤😊

My Decision to Stay Single and a Virgin for the Rest of my Life.
Add Opinion

Most Helpful Guys

  • Matthew2222
    I am not sure I can change your mind here, but at least other girls reading this might be inspired. Yes, you are not what the media calls "attractive" but that is really not the point. Sure, today borderline anorexic women are promoted as beautiful and thicker women shamed, but for most of human history across most cultures "fat" women were considered highly desirable while thin women were shunned. Guys are biologically programmed to like bigger girls, so rest assured plenty of guys would find you attractive, although they might be shy about it.
    Let me do a line by line answer to your point.
    Personally, I do not think 300 lbs is unattractive at all, it is on the bigger side but still cute.
    Broad shoulders are fine since you are a bigger girl in general, they are proportionate.
    A bigger chest is fine, and the details you are worried about are really not something a lot of guys care about.
    I love love handles, they are cute, soft, very feminine, and great for holding on to. Nothing to be ashamed about at all there.
    Bigger girls do not have pronounced hips, which is fine by me, as I do not like the current fad of "thick" girls with hips twice as wide as their waist.
    I also do not like "thigh gaps", I cannot understand why guys want them. Thick thighs are cute, especially when they are proportionate to the rest of the girl.
    Man hands and feet. Honestly, this just made me think of Seinfeld, so I laughed a bit, who cares about hand and feet size?
    I also like stretch marks, they are nothing to be embarrassed about, just the tiger stripes of a strong girl.
    Discoloration/scars are really not something guys think about.
    I agree that loose skin is unattractive, but you do not have to loose 160 lbs so you do not have to worry about it. You are beautiful as you are and minor weight loss would not cause loose skin anyway.
    I love shy girls, they are far more fun than obnoxious loudmouths. A girl that likes to stay in with close friends and play a board-game is far more my speed than a party girl who drinks like a fish at every club in town.
    I am not joking or desperate by any means, but I honestly think there are plenty of guys out there that would prefer a chubby shy girl to what the media tells them they should want. At the very least, I do.
    Is this still revelant?
  • DiscomfortZone
    So basically you're saying "I won't care about being constantly rejected on account of being unattractice if I pretend not to want romance". Yep, very mature, keep at it!
    Is this still revelant?
    • Anonymous

      I’ve never been rejected lol. I don’t even want romance! 😂

    • Very convincing, attention addict, keep at it!

    • Anonymous

      I’m glad you found it convincing. 😊

    • Show All

Most Helpful Girls

  • SpacedCharr
    As long as you are happy with your decision, feel free.

    But personally, I think you're giving up too easily.

    You can lose weight. You can wear good bras, or go as far as getting cosmetic surgery. You can rehab stretched skin. Skin discolouration as you've described fades with weight loss. Loose skin can be managed, or removed.

    Personalities can change and your personal impact is likely more positive than you imagine. Just look at this post: you've elicited encouragement and firm support from all sorts of different people.

    Consider as well whether your weight is actually what's making you feel this way. There are numerous studies now showing that obesity has an impact on mental and emotional health. Not even due to societal shame, but rather chemically in the brain.

    No one can change you.

    But you can change yourself.

    If you resign to your fate, so be it. I hope you won't. If you can accept this fate and make such a bold decision with resolve, then you are strong enough to fight against it.

    Your body is not you. You have control of it. You have potential not even you can see, but with work and time, you may just yet surprise yourself.

    Turn that resolve towards something positive. If for no other reason than to say "fuck you" to feeling subhuman. Because you're human. Like it or not.
    Is this still revelant?
    • That's absolutely true. No one else is going to do it for you. Muster up whatever willpower you have left and do somin about it!

    • Anonymous

      @ChadGroyper I don’t expect anyone to do anything for me, there’s nothing that will help change my decision. I’ll never be comfortable enough to be in a relationship, and that’s okay. 😊

    • @MyTake Owner What is so hard? What's holding you back? Huh

    • Show All
  • CarrieLee
    Get over urself for real. Ur validations are lame. Ur not a super human, ur not doing urself or anyone else a favor. Sex is overall a gr8 time and guess what u can do to feel self righteous, toot it and boot it. Bask in ur fuckfest glow solo. Ur only gonna regret this i can guarantee it. Hope that idea of being pure and alone keeps ya company better then a being. Im a cunt like fuck... but i still like my butt being touched and cuddled while i fall asleep due to a healthy sex excersice. no offense
    Is this still revelant?
    • Anonymous

      I expected to see a response like yours which isn’t shocking. Trust me, if you had or saw my body, it’d make a lot more sense. Plus, I’ve actually asked for opinions on here by taking photos of different areas of my body and 99% of responses were negative. This isn’t all in my head, I’m actually unattractive and know people can do better than me, and that’s okay. 😊

Scroll Down to Read Other Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

  • SomeGuyCalledTom
    You seem to have approached this from-- in your own mind atleast-- a place of rationality and "analysis".

    So I'm not gonna give you the feel-good pat on the back I'd usually give to someone with such obvious self-esteem issues.

    What I will tell you is the logical counterpoint to your post:

    Losing that weight will solve almost all the issues you wrote about.

    I won't go through the line-by-line explanation of this, coz I'll be here all day otherwise. But you're seeing all these issues as separate, when really about 90% of them are just SYMPTOMS of the MAIN issue-- that being your obese condition. And losing the weight would bring about other benefits you may not even realise. It's clear this has done harm to your self-esteem and self-worth, but losing the weight will give you evidence of what you can achieve, and it'll make you feel desirable and sexy, and so you'll start talking to yourself in a more positive light.

    There's just no need to declare yourself "alone forever", because major weight loss is very achievable over a period of just a few years. I recommend you pick up "How Not To Die" by Dr. Michael Gregor, he lays out all the false claims of the food and diet industry that actually cause MORE obesity. Weight gain is a natural mechanism that helped us survive times of food scarcity throughout evolution. But we live in an unnatural world now, eating unnatural foods, exposed to unnatural pollutants, chronic low-grade stressors, etc. If you just get back to eating and moving the way nature intended (eating unprocessed, mostly plant-based whole foods like fruits, vegetables, whole grains, legumes, nuts and seeds), then your body will begin to self-regulate properly and burn off the excess fat stores over time. It won't happen overnight, but at your age you still have plenty of time ahead of you to enjoy dating and relationship and even marriage. But since the weight is the #1 limiting factor, then you should start with tackling that before you just "give up" entirely.
    • typo: book name is "How Not To DIET".

      "How Not To Die" is his other book, which is also a great read.

  • Justin_Forthekill
    I think you were being way to harsh on yourself, 'subhuman', 'no one would ever want me'. Don't cut yourself off from relationships cause your afraid of being rejected. And absolutely don't demean your partner by thinking you would just 'hold them back'. If they're choosing to be with you, then they want to be with you! Love isn't a game, it drives me crazy seeing people treat it that way.

    But if doing this makes you genuinely happy then, power to you!
  • Bluemax
    You may be obese. You may be unattractive.

    But you are in no way subhuman.
  • Avicenna
    I know you're frustrated with yourself right now, but you're giving up unnecessarily. Lose the weight for yourself and your health and you will feel quite a bit differently. You will also get a lot of male attention.

    Feel free to PM if you want some diet tips or some encouragement. I can't stand to see someone feel this way about themselves.
  • Anoniemus
    There are some men who wouldn't mind. Now if you want them is another matter. There's nothing wrong with being a celibate anyway. Plenty of men aren't worth the trouble depending on where you're at.
  • Will23v
    Its never too late for change, dont let bullies reinforce your low self esteem. Talk to a therapist and get on a diet and start some weekly exercise much heavier people have made bigger changes, and 300 lbs. won't be as hard to lose as you think. And plus your only 23 its way way to early to give up. And if exercise and diet are too intimidating try meeting someone else who is also obese. But the worst thing to do is give up.
  • just_legit1998
    Don't lose hope miss, just be yourself and love who you are. Remember to always take care of you so that you'll be able to live you life happily. I wish you all the best!
  • TwoToTooTutu2
    Loose the weight and all your troubles will dissapear. It's almost guaranteed.
  • Celtero
    That's unfortunate. Do you feel any resentment towards your parents? I'm assuming they let you get that heavy before you were 18 by buying you unhealthy food and not enforcing a diet or exercise.

    I've come to terms that I'm remaining a virgin forever as well, but for very different reasons. Women simply make me feel very uncomfortable, insecure, and unsafe-I'm sure due to reasons stemming back to an abusive alcoholic mother and bad experiences with girls in school.

    And it's weird, because women get so much praise for nothing in this era when the only thing they've ever provided me with is pain.
  • PeteyB
    I won't tell you what to think or feel, but some of your points are wrong, and nobody is just perfect. Most guys will as their girlfriend or wife is amazing etc because they tend to cling to them And validate their decisions involving them based on the relationship. It's all in the eye of the beholder anyway.

    Rejection hurts but so does being on the outside looking in.

    You're working on yourself and that's good. I don't know your appearance exactly, I'm not imagining it well, but you are who you are and that's fine.
  • moststrangestguy
    I usually only look. For. 300lb girls shame you want to be a virgin..
  • MysteriousDarkness
    You are degrading yourself. Why be so harsh on how you look? With the attitude you have towards yourself you will not be with someone because right from the start if someone is into you your harsh criticism of yourself will more than likely drive them away. I guess you rather be negative all the time besides trying to do something to better yourself and trying to find the good in yourself. It is beyond sad how you are towrds yourself and I hope at some point you make a 180° turn with your attitude towards yourself.
    My girlfriend is a big woman with wrinkles, stretch marks, cellulite, saggy boobs, rolls, gray hair etc. She is also 13 years older than me.
  • nerobyrne
    Yeah okay, I have to admit the vast majority of guys would find you repulsive physically, assuming you're being honest and not exaggerating.
    I'd never say this directly to someone, but I think it's fair because you brought it up.

    However, there are definitely men who may GENUINELY be attracted to you. Some men actually don't care about looks, although they are rare.
    Also plenty of men would still be friends with you, even if they don't find you attractive.

    Maybe seeing a Doctor about hormone treatment isn't such a bad idea after all, you might actually have something that is treatable or they can recommend plastic surgery.
    Normally I'd advise against it, but it sounds like in your case it is actually greatly impacting your quality of life.
  • Exorcist_Rampage
    It is cool with me if you don't desire sex again.
  • braelynadelebaker
    i want to not stay a virgin forever
  • SecretGardenBlood65
    Good take.
  • Anonymous
    Great decision bc I can speak for all men, no one would want sex with you. Your body sounds awful dude. 🤣
    • sheepdip

      Why would you laugh at that?

    • Because it's funny? 🤣

    • Anonymous

      It’s true! It justifies my decision. 😊

    • Show All
  • Anonymous
    Wow. I skimmed through this and it’s really sad. I wish the best for you and hope you get help. This goes deeper than you think it does. Staying single and a virgin won't fix the problem...
    • Why can't you do this for a higher, religious purpose? Isn't that a better excuse?