1 mo

Sperm Banks are worse than Tinder!


So I got this bright idea to apply to be a sperm donor, regardless of whether or not I would actually go through with it.

Turns out it's actually a lot to put on the line.

I hadn't realized when I applied that I was basically to be judged as good enough for a single woman to want to have a kid with. Ouch.

They ask for height, education level, eye color, hair color, race and profession.

It's like applying for college, but being judged on your actual self instead of your grades. That's why getting rejected hurt surprisingly more than expected.

Sperm Banks are worse than Tinder!

Like, wow. It feels like getting rejected 100 times on a dating app.

In fact, my college rejections sucked less. I mean, I didn't want to donate anyway (😭).

They even give a nice letter 'there are a variety of reasons... [including capacity]' (okay).

They didn't even test a sample or see me in person, or even a photo of me. So I guess I can maintain my ego in knowing that my actual sperm aren't complete trash. But damn, I'm not good enough for the cryobank? Man.

Sperm Banks are worse than Tinder!
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Most Helpful Girls

  • tallandsweet
    I've never used Tinder before, but I'd say you were a little dewy-eyed and naive to think they should accept you right away.

    Height: I can't imagine they take many applicants below six feet.
    Education level: having attended Ivies probably helps, I again doubt that someone who went to community college and doesn't look like a GOD will be accepted.
    Here's an interesting study, this pie chart is from there:
    Percentage of spern and oocyte donors with "quality" education
    Percentage of spern and oocyte donors with "quality" education
    Eye color: preference of course, but I can imagine that blue and green are more favoured because the brown-eye gene is dominant.
    Hair colour: depends on the culture, "German" looking blond hair with blue eyes may be an idea some strive for, I have brown hair myself and prefer brown hair on a future boyfriend too (nicer contrast with the skin).
    Race: caucasian is preferred, here's an article on why this will most likely lead to problems
    Profession: shouldn't matter but "leaders" are probably preferred.

    Don't be bummed out about it.
    First off, many people who shouldn't have children get children. They didn't see you, but it is believed is that sperm quality (sperm count and amount) has been declining for some time (here's a discussion of studies between 1938 and 1990 and here's a more recent study analysing which lifestyle choices contribute to male infertility). Decreasing sperm quality may lead to infertility, but it is also a factor which sperm banks should use (more sperm=better sperm?). What I want to say with that is that they may have already screened out people who show risk factors.

    Okay, so you don't smoke, you don't drink nor did you drink in the past, you live in a rural area with no pesticides and little to no radiation from power stations, WIFI, your cell etc (this is highly unlikely already). Still not a reason to take the rejection personally.
    There are many applicants to sperm banks now because they're more represented in the media, while when they started they didn't have many sperm donors. I doubt that once they start working with a donor they only get one or two sperm donations, but that in reality, donor sperm is used multiple times.
    They don't need that many donors.

    Why are you offended by not being in the top 2% of the population? Because if I ran a sperm bank, which is an institution catering to paying customers, I would only pick the top 2%.
    Is this still revelant?
    • Robertcw

      Damn I guess it just offends me that people who can't concieve, and want a favor, would then go around and say a normal person isn't good enough for them?

      Wtf. What is that. Need to be min. 6ft, German decent, Ivy League... that's all racist man.

    • Robertcw

      That's some Hitler style eugenics right there.

    • OK, you do realize that sperm banks DO NOT do background checks or verify anything, right? Most of the donors are college students who will say anything to jack-off into a test-tube for $100. So looking for the "perfect" donor is folly. Not to mention you have to rely on the minimum wage workers who organize the sperm and hope they don't give you African sperm rather than European sperm... ooopsies..

    • Show All
  • Randomawkwardness
    If I was going to get impregnated and pay thousands of dollars for the procedure then I'm going to want a perfect match for me. You wouldn't choose a damaged can over a perfect one, right? Why would I want to take the risk of having my child grow up with serious mental disorders or physical disorders if I could avoid it? Having sex to make a child is a game of risk, you don't know what you'll get. Getting a procedure done to get pregnant shouldn't be a risk.
    Is this still revelant?
    • So true, which is why when I choose a surrogate mother she is going to be attractive, eductated, and healthy. I don't want a damaged can, I want a perfect one.

    • Exactly, especially as she is carrying the child. With surrogates, it usually isn't even her DNA so it literally is her carrying anothers child and if it was mine, I wouldn't want to risk the birth and life of the child in any way. I think the morals of the person should also be brought up, like whether they party or not, to truly make a good candidate.

    • Robertcw

      Okay 2 points then: 1) Why have sex at all? 2) That's genocide and discrimination.

      The only reason sperm banks can't be sued for discrimination is because they don't reveal why applicants are rejected. It's a very dark business.

    • Show All

Most Helpful Guys

  • devilman666
    Tbh we need a system for men to have kids without women. Either pay to take a woman's eggs, and then fertalize them and grow them in a test tube, or let me pay to have some woman impregnated with my sperm so that I can raise the kid. It's fucked up that we have this for women and not men."they ask for height, education level, eye color, hair color, race, and profession", I want to be able to choose the woman who gives birth to my kids like that! Just a bunch of pictures and let me pick whoever I think is hot enough and smart enough!!
    Is this still revelant?
    • What? You already can do that in US. I mean you can hire a woman who can carry your child with your dna

    • Robertcw

      @kim45456 Yeah but it's $100,000 so the regular person can't afford it. Negating the whole point as someone that wealthy can get someone for free.

      A vile of sperm is $1,000. Anyone can afford a few bottles if they tried. Totally different.

    • @Robertcw your lucky if you get 1000, I read that it starts at 100 but if you donate 3 times a week it goes up to 1000. In my country you dont get paid for donating sperm.

  • Anonymous

    ''Toronto police have opened an official investigation after the administrators of a Canadian sperm bank have accused a former employee of replacing hundreds of sperm donors’ specimens with his own.''
    Is this still revelant?

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What Girls & Guys Said

  • HedwigInABox
    If you could choose the looks of your daughter which you payed thousands to even be born, would you want her to look like a Victoria Secret model or Amy shumer?
    • thewiggles

      I wouldn't give a shit what she looked like. I'd want her to just be real. I'd want to know her other half before consuming and having their baby. Not look at a paper similar to a job resume, mostly full of lies and decide that that's the one.

    • shaman2

      I'd want her to be happy and live a happy life. Why would I care if my daughter looked like amy Schumer, im not going to be dating her.

    • “I’m not going to be dating her” yeah so it’s all good for you, but think about HER, she’ll want to have the best opportunities so it only makes sense that a parent would want to give her those.

    • Show All
  • purplepoppy
    The other reason could be they already have a surplus of men with your profile. What I've always found interesting is how people say "you can be anything if you work hard enough..." but then insist on purchasing sperm from successful well educated professional types.
    • slatyb

      Of course you can't. You can't become a professional athlete without both genetic advantage and a willingness to focus on the sport at a fairly early age. I've seen a five-year-old playing six-on-six soccer. If it was just him against the other eleven he probably would have won. And it's still a long way from there to a position on a top team. And of course it's the same for other fields. Most top performers showed promise at an early age.

  • wynn-ing
    I mean, you're supposed to go in to try be a sperm donor with the knowledge that they can be extremely picky so this shouldn't have been much of a surprise to you in reality. They're utilizing their opportunity of choosing good appearance features from sperm.
    Tough but it's how it is.
    And damn, get rid of your fragile ego dude! You've been rejected by the pickiest of the lot and it feels like such a painful blow? Nah! You need to be better than that.
    • this is coming from these women who start cryin cos a dude be hookin up with they friend

    • wynn-ing

      @DeshawnMGTOW What? All I'm saying is that he's better than that to be hurt by complete hypocrisy that is the sperm bank industry. The procedures are premeditated and calculated - they want the superficial and rigid details to match up and they don't care beyond that. If he had any awareness of his worth, he'd know he's not to be marginalised by mere sperm banks.
      What are you saying? What does any of that have to do with anything?

    • @DeshawnMGTOW I bet if these women met the donors in person, 95% would not choose those same donors. Women get a description and they mentally build a mental image of a "Chad" who they dream of fucking. This is self-created mental image is what closes the deal for the sperm bank. This is probably the reason pictures of the donors are NOT included.

    • Show All
  • Gatman34
    Don’t give to sperm banks last think we need are single moms. And get off dating apps if you keep getting rejected why are you still on them you just sound like a desperate fool
    • wynn-ing

      Giving to sperm banks doesn't necessarily mean more single moms 😂

    • Robertcw

      I haven't used dating apps in a while. This was just a 'whatever' thing and it turned out to backfire 🥴😭.

      They pay their donors $1,500/month though. Imagine that. $1,500/month to orgasm.

  • What is wrong with that? If you are going to pay so much, you dont want to get a kid with a mental disorder in the end. Hair colour, height etc. are preferences
    • Robertcw

      Very well, but it shouldn't be so inexpensive. The price of sperm should go up to $10,000 a vile rather than $1,000 a vile just to even things out.

    • Thank you Mr. Stalin.

    • nelly83

      1000 a vile is expensive already.

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  • slatyb
    It's a market. Understandably the market wants attractive six-foot tall athletic medical students with no family history of mental illness. That excludes most of us. Women in general are less picky because they want a whole person and tall attractive athletic medical students are hard to find.
  • Avicenna
    Don't worry about it- it's a beauty contest for their marketing.

    There are same sex couples and others out there that want sperm for free and they'll happily take yours.
    • Robertcw

      Nah I'm actually not interested. But it was an unnecessary blow to my ego.

  • Ellie-V
    A lot of women and couple that go are looking for someone who looks a little bit like them, or at the very least share certain characteristics.
    We are talking about children and family so... stop internalizing it
  • Bandit74
    It's not really the sperm bank making the decision tho. It's based on the demand ie what the women who use sperm banks want. So at the end of the day just like on tinder you are still being rejected by women.
    • Bandit74

      The other thing that is kinda sad about this is that men are the ones that society paints as being the more shallow sex while women get pity/sympathy for having to live up to men's supposedly unrealistic standards.

  • zed-789
    They reject th profiles of men that sells th least. I don’t think it’s anything personal with u specifically. There is jus certain race and features of men that women r more willing to buy. These places r trying to make money not make u feel wanted. They only care about who’s sperm will make them th most money.
  • SydneySentinel
    This makes me wonder if the same amount of questioning goes into a woman who wants to be a surrogate?
    • Interestinf question.
      The only requirement shiuls be that she is physically and mentally healthy, as she is not passing on any other genes one the kid, for example bad eyesight, height, etc.
      Also there are much less women willing to be surrogates, and even if there wasn't, still womb is only one per woman, and there's a lot of semen per one man.
      So it makes sense to evaluate men more harshly because it doesn't make sense to pay someone whose sperm probably won't even be used.

    • You're right-- there is a vast difference in numbers.
      Do you think eye color, height, education, etc aren't considered as much for a woman?

    • I'm assuming the men get a one time payment. It is not commissioned based. Men deserve the right to refuse sperm service

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  • nelly83
    dude when you're sperm doning, you're SELLING YOUR SPERM. If you're selling anything, this means someone is paying a lotta money for it. You better make sure you're selling high quality stuff, if other people are gonna be paying so much for it. If your sperm is crap, the baby can come out fucked up. We're not talking about helping your ego here, its just to make sure you're not ripping women off. Paying for some shitty sperm then some fucked up baby
    • Chase7777

      They didn't test the sperm. Can you read?

    • nelly83

      @Chase7777 I’m sure they do otherwise they would’ve accepted absolutely anyone’s

    • Chase7777

      So you can't read

    • Show All
  • backinblack22
    I know some sperm banks in Europe no longer accept donations from red head guys. If these sperm banks explicitly said they weren’t accept sperm donations from minorities all hell would break loose. It would be all over the media, there would be protests, it would be humanities discussion in college textbooks.
    • I bet if these women met the donors in person, 95% would not choose those same donors. Women get a description and they mentally build a mental image of a "Chad" who they dream of fucking. This is self-created mental image is what closes the deal for the sperm bank. This is probably the reason pictures of the donors are NOT included.

    • @krakenattackin damn I had the perfect funny ass link for this. Just google “Barney Simpson’s sperm donor” lol.

      The thing is with sperm is there are millions of variations each sperm has that can impact the hereditary outcome of a child. Sure many of them have different combinations of genetic code but if one different sperm fertilized our mothers eggs the moment we were conceived we would have radically different lives.

      Anyway I get it that women want different outcomes for their kids. I’m a semi redhead. I really hope if I ever have son he doesn’t inherit red hair. It’s not the end of the world if he does, he might be badass in other aspects. but it’s not a fun characteristic to have. Trust me.

    • I found that clip, pretty damn funny and probably accurate.

  • genericname85
    well what do you expet? tinder is about hooking up. going to a sperm bank is litterally selling your genetic material and if said material is not adequate for their standards or they have too many donors already then they won't buy your freaking cum.

    at least that doesn't mean you've been rejected on a personal/character level.
  • Juxtapose
    Women will be getting sperm from astronauts and doctors thinking it actually makes a fucking difference lol.

    Those same guys with those very same genetics could have turned out to be petty thugs if they were raised differently.
  • I had no idea they were that picky! It seems like it should be up to the women to decide whose sperm to accept, not the sperm bank's decision.
    • But they’re a commercial enterprise and storing sperm costs money so they’re only going to keep what actually sells.

  • CausticHippy
    If you're accepted you should have the option to reject big ass ugly women that want to father your genes. It's only fair
    • Robertcw

      I guess they don't like average height personal trainers. LMAO.

    • Nobody likes average height personal trainers.

    • Robertcw

      Why do you say that?

  • DWornock
    I'm certain that sperm banks and women prefer men that have good genes and are more likely to sire superior children. It is similar to breeding horses. The owners of the fastest horses can demand and get very high stud fees. Since only a few beautiful women can marry the top men, that is the reason women will seek out a dependable and good provider as a mate but when ovulating will have sneaky sex with superior men to provide the best genes for their eggs (children).
  • outside_Toronto
    I'm sure they're this picky because the clients are that picky. If they reject certain people, its because there's no demand for those traits... or lack of.
    Lets face it... if you had the opportunity to make the perfect person (perfect in your eye) you're going to select the finest ingredients.

    Why would they just harvest jizz all willie nillie? Too much money on the line for that
  • SarahsSummer
    Do you have knowledge of any medical conditions? You may want to have your doctor run some tests. You may have the gene for MS, muscular dystrophy, Parkinsons, etc.
  • Static_In_The_Attic
    That absolutely sucks & talk about a Debbie Downer! On the flip side live your life brother & enjoy being a freelance sperm donor instead.
  • KrakenAttackin
    Also, being a sperm donor is not settled law. That is, the mother can potentially come back at you for child support. Yes, unlikely, but sperm donor beware.
  • Dont worry man, its all marketing anyway. There is no scientific evidence that sperm from specific men (tall, rich, fit, college educated, blue eyes, green eyes, blonde hair, dark hair, etc) will actually produce a better quality kid.
  • bellybuttonlint
    LOL, this is so funny.

    It's different when women are choosy... but now sperm banks too? I mean couldn't they have gotten most of this information from the DNA? Sheesh!
  • Boromir
    Take a STD test and put an add on Craigslist, there’s a big need for known / private donors as sperm banks charge ridiculous amounts for sperm.
  • vedgtn
    It's a numbers game. They have x donors. They have y customers. If they don't think you will be selected often enough to be worth paying you, then they won't.
  • Raggdoll
    Sounds like the women want some handsome, perfect hair, skin, eye and everything we deem as beautiful, maybe that's why maybe they didn't choose you lol
    • It's safe to assume women don't want to pay for some fat, dumb, ugly bastards semen.

    • Raggdoll


  • MrKinktastic
    So obviously nothing to do with looks or personality, so it’s not a very good indicator if you’re dating material or not.

    It’s really just a matter of checking enough boxes they think they can market it. They’re selling the sperm based on a bunch of factors, IQ, general health, family history, etc. So even something like my family’s history of heart disease and some autoimmune stuff disqualified me from a ton of sperm banks too. I really wouldn’t worry about it, it’s had no bearing on my ability to get numbers/dates and it won’t effect yours either.

    Tinder is similar, you’ve got 1-2 photos and maybe a line or two of script worth of time to catch and keep their attention and some guys have great tinder game so hog the matches. Again, don’t sweat it if you’re not getting matches, it says a lot more about your approach than it does about you.
  • Jennifer_32
    This is why I just gave up bro. Rather just stay single and masturbate to hentai. I'll never live up to the standards women demand.
  • JustJen
    A sperm bank will never ghost you. Just saying.
  • If you were a minority or a disadvantaged minority you probably would have made it but since you are white they throw you out.
  • Intactivist500
    I believe they do this deliberately to keep the prices for sperm high so only rich women can afford the sperm.
    • You want "discount" sperm? Buddy, your wife can get that in the 7/11 parking lot at 2:00AM.

  • Kenwoodman
    I would be happy to do it for free but under condition that they are not allowed to use my sperm for women of other raises and lesbians.
    • Nobody wants your double chin lookin ass face on their kid.

    • Kenwoodman

      I already have kids. Differently from you. You will never have any because:
      1. You are simply bad looking. Even your beard doesn't grows properly for an adult male.
      2. At 29 you already wear glasses, so you are defective genetic material.
      Your supposedly best picture is in front of your PC, which is where you spend all your life jerking off to fortnight charscters.

    • The only thing you're right about is how often I beat my meat. Double chin thumb looking mother fucker

  • BillieJean1070
    What if a woman approached you and asked you to donate your sperm to inseminate her?
  • Uncut
    Did you think you just go and jerk off and women would actually want some random sperm not know where it came from pardon the Phun. They want to make sure their kid won’t be some loser.
  • cth96190
    It is a really, really bad idea to be a sperm donor.
    It will be only a matter of time until Feminists have their political enablers pass legislation that will require sperm banks to provide the details of donors, so that they can be pursued for child support.
    In a few cases, women have sued sperm donors successfully for child support.
    The sperm that you ejaculate into a cup today will probably lead to your financial destruction in the future.
    Do not help women.
    Women, fish, bicycles and all that.
  • _dude_
    Most likely you were rejected because of some familial health issues. That I believe is the most common reason.
    • Robertcw

      Nope. Never asked me about that.

  • TheAteam1978
    Stop complaining it's a free excuse to tell a female nurse ur going to jerkoff
  • Wolkmi
    I hope that women who think that these eugenic measures are good ask for the same for egg donation. The same standards, even in height.
  • Exorcist_Rampage
    Probably so, since women can't have an idea how her children will turn out nor know who the father is if she purchases sperm from a sperm bank.
  • Hahaha holy shit! Nah dont worry I probably wouldn't fair well neither.
  • DonCachondo
    Hey if a regular bloke can pay to stick his junk in some hot model, I say fair is fair.
  • Liam_Hayden
    LMAO. Best satire piece on the site. Wait, you are serious?
    • Robertcw

      It's 100% serious. But as usual, my real life is often mistaken for satire.

  • Why do you want to donate? You don't even know in what environment your kids will grow up.
    • Robertcw

      I didn't, getting rejected just sucked. I lined myself up for that I suppose.

  • Wow. I want to try that. Maybe because i have blue eyes maybe i will get a consideration. 😗
    • Robertcw

      🤣 Man. And I have hazel eyes. I think it's because my list if accomplishments is, ehem, short.

      They want impressive donors.

      I read they reject all but 1% of all applicants. It's crazy.

    • It makes sense. But there are more than on bank right?

    • Robertcw

      Yeah there are different ones. But I'm over it. 🤷🏻

    • Show All
  • zagor
    I would send them a letter with a free sample...
  • Usernamesrdumb
    Aannnnddd what I found out in college when i looked at it, you can't have sex for 6 months while giving said samples, they only pay for acceptable ones, and you have to go several times a week, get paid at 3 and 6 months. Then i read this https://www.cnn.com/2014/01/23/justice/kansas-sperm-donation/index.html

    he got let off, but i dont have the $ for defense.

    then i read:https://nationalpost.com/news/canada/child-support-case-involving-sperm-donor-is-a-canadian-first-that-could-be-decided-by-a-new-ontario-law

    1x is a mistake, 2x a pattern. Yeah f that! Dont do it dude.
  • andreamodellig
    I want my kids to be the best, I don't know why that's an issue.
    • Wolkmi

      But do you have the best genes yourself?

    • Best I can offer

    • With those tits your kids will be fed very well and your man would be to lol

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  • koolkal
    I'm not surprised. The best personality and physical traits probably sell the highest.