Sexual Relationships
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Sperm Banks are worse than Tinder!

So I got this bright idea to apply to be a sperm donor, regardless of whether or not I would actually go through with it.

Turns out it's actually a lot to put on the line.

I hadn't realized when I applied that I was basically to be judged as good enough for a single woman to want to have a kid with. Ouch.

They ask for height, education level, eye color, hair color, race and profession.

It's like applying for college, but being judged on your actual self instead of your grades. That's why getting rejected hurt surprisingly more than expected.

Sperm Banks are worse than Tinder!

Like, wow. It feels like getting rejected 100 times on a dating app.

In fact, my college rejections sucked less. I mean, I didn't want to donate anyway (😭).

They even give a nice letter 'there are a variety of reasons... [including capacity]' (okay).

They didn't even test a sample or see me in person, or even a photo of me. So I guess I can maintain my ego in knowing that my actual sperm aren't complete trash. But damn, I'm not good enough for the cryobank? Man.

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Most Helpful Girls

  • I've never used Tinder before, but I'd say you were a little dewy-eyed and naive to think they should accept you right away.

    Height: I can't imagine they take many applicants below six feet.
    Education level: having attended Ivies probably helps, I again doubt that someone who went to community college and doesn't look like a GOD will be accepted.
    Here's an interesting study, this pie chart is from there:

    Percentage of spern and oocyte donors with "quality" education
    Percentage of spern and oocyte donors with "quality" education

    Eye color: preference of course, but I can imagine that blue and green are more favoured because the brown-eye gene is dominant.
    Hair colour: depends on the culture, "German" looking blond hair with blue eyes may be an idea some strive for, I have brown hair myself and prefer brown hair on a future boyfriend too (nicer contrast with the skin).
    Race: caucasian is preferred, here's an article on why this will most likely lead to problems
    Profession: shouldn't matter but "leaders" are probably preferred.

    Don't be bummed out about it.
    First off, many people who shouldn't have children get children. They didn't see you, but it is believed is that sperm quality (sperm count and amount) has been declining for some time (here's a discussion of studies between 1938 and 1990 and here's a more recent study analysing which lifestyle choices contribute to male infertility). Decreasing sperm quality may lead to infertility, but it is also a factor which sperm banks should use (more sperm=better sperm?). What I want to say with that is that they may have already screened out people who show risk factors.

    Okay, so you don't smoke, you don't drink nor did you drink in the past, you live in a rural area with no pesticides and little to no radiation from power stations, WIFI, your cell etc (this is highly unlikely already). Still not a reason to take the rejection personally.
    There are many applicants to sperm banks now because they're more represented in the media, while when they started they didn't have many sperm donors. I doubt that once they start working with a donor they only get one or two sperm donations, but that in reality, donor sperm is used multiple times.
    They don't need that many donors.

    Why are you offended by not being in the top 2% of the population? Because if I ran a sperm bank, which is an institution catering to paying customers, I would only pick the top 2%.

    • Damn I guess it just offends me that people who can't concieve, and want a favor, would then go around and say a normal person isn't good enough for them? Wtf. What is that. Need to be min. 6ft, German decent, Ivy League... that's all racist man.

    • That's some Hitler style eugenics right there.

    • OK, you do realize that sperm banks DO NOT do background checks or verify anything, right? Most of the donors are college students who will say anything to jack-off into a test-tube for $100. So looking for the "perfect" donor is folly. Not to mention you have to rely on the minimum wage workers who organize the sperm and hope they don't give you African sperm rather than European sperm... ooopsies..

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  • If I was going to get impregnated and pay thousands of dollars for the procedure then I'm going to want a perfect match for me. You wouldn't choose a damaged can over a perfect one, right? Why would I want to take the risk of having my child grow up with serious mental disorders or physical disorders if I could avoid it? Having sex to make a child is a game of risk, you don't know what you'll get. Getting a procedure done to get pregnant shouldn't be a risk.

    • So true, which is why when I choose a surrogate mother she is going to be attractive, eductated, and healthy. I don't want a damaged can, I want a perfect one.

    • Exactly, especially as she is carrying the child. With surrogates, it usually isn't even her DNA so it literally is her carrying anothers child and if it was mine, I wouldn't want to risk the birth and life of the child in any way. I think the morals of the person should also be brought up, like whether they party or not, to truly make a good candidate.

    • Okay 2 points then: 1) Why have sex at all? 2) That's genocide and discrimination. The only reason sperm banks can't be sued for discrimination is because they don't reveal why applicants are rejected. It's a very dark business.

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Most Helpful Guys

  • Tbh we need a system for men to have kids without women. Either pay to take a woman's eggs, and then fertalize them and grow them in a test tube, or let me pay to have some woman impregnated with my sperm so that I can raise the kid. It's fucked up that we have this for women and not men."they ask for height, education level, eye color, hair color, race, and profession", I want to be able to choose the woman who gives birth to my kids like that! Just a bunch of pictures and let me pick whoever I think is hot enough and smart enough!!

    • What? You already can do that in US. I mean you can hire a woman who can carry your child with your dna

    • @kim45456 Yeah but it's $100,000 so the regular person can't afford it. Negating the whole point as someone that wealthy can get someone for free. A vile of sperm is $1,000. Anyone can afford a few bottles if they tried. Totally different.

    • @Robertcw your lucky if you get 1000, I read that it starts at 100 but if you donate 3 times a week it goes up to 1000. In my country you dont get paid for donating sperm.

  • https://worldnewsdailyreport.com/janitor-who-worked-at-sperm-bank-suspected-of-fathering-20000-children-over-20-year-period/

    ''Toronto police have opened an official investigation after the administrators of a Canadian sperm bank have accused a former employee of replacing hundreds of sperm donors’ specimens with his own.''

    Sperm Banks are worse than Tinder!

    • I'm dying xD

    • he legit looks so proud hahaha

    • Exactly the case came up to mind when I read this question haha!

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What Girls & Guys Said

21 54

  • Take a STD test and put an add on Craigslist, there’s a big need for known / private donors as sperm banks charge ridiculous amounts for sperm.

  • The other reason could be they already have a surplus of men with your profile. What I've always found interesting is how people say "you can be anything if you work hard enough..." but then insist on purchasing sperm from successful well educated professional types.

    • Of course you can't. You can't become a professional athlete without both genetic advantage and a willingness to focus on the sport at a fairly early age. I've seen a five-year-old playing six-on-six soccer. If it was just him against the other eleven he probably would have won. And it's still a long way from there to a position on a top team. And of course it's the same for other fields. Most top performers showed promise at an early age.

  • I had no idea they were that picky! It seems like it should be up to the women to decide whose sperm to accept, not the sperm bank's decision.

    • But they’re a commercial enterprise and storing sperm costs money so they’re only going to keep what actually sells.

  • If you could choose the looks of your daughter which you payed thousands to even be born, would you want her to look like a Victoria Secret model or Amy shumer?

    • I wouldn't give a shit what she looked like. I'd want her to just be real. I'd want to know her other half before consuming and having their baby. Not look at a paper similar to a job resume, mostly full of lies and decide that that's the one.

    • I'd want her to be happy and live a happy life. Why would I care if my daughter looked like amy Schumer, im not going to be dating her.

    • “I’m not going to be dating her” yeah so it’s all good for you, but think about HER, she’ll want to have the best opportunities so it only makes sense that a parent would want to give her those.

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  • Do you have knowledge of any medical conditions? You may want to have your doctor run some tests. You may have the gene for MS, muscular dystrophy, Parkinsons, etc.

  • They reject th profiles of men that sells th least. I don’t think it’s anything personal with u specifically. There is jus certain race and features of men that women r more willing to buy. These places r trying to make money not make u feel wanted. They only care about who’s sperm will make them th most money.

  • So obviously nothing to do with looks or personality, so it’s not a very good indicator if you’re dating material or not.

    It’s really just a matter of checking enough boxes they think they can market it. They’re selling the sperm based on a bunch of factors, IQ, general health, family history, etc. So even something like my family’s history of heart disease and some autoimmune stuff disqualified me from a ton of sperm banks too. I really wouldn’t worry about it, it’s had no bearing on my ability to get numbers/dates and it won’t effect yours either.

    Tinder is similar, you’ve got 1-2 photos and maybe a line or two of script worth of time to catch and keep their attention and some guys have great tinder game so hog the matches. Again, don’t sweat it if you’re not getting matches, it says a lot more about your approach than it does about you.

  • That absolutely sucks & talk about a Debbie Downer! On the flip side live your life brother & enjoy being a freelance sperm donor instead.

  • I mean, you're supposed to go in to try be a sperm donor with the knowledge that they can be extremely picky so this shouldn't have been much of a surprise to you in reality. They're utilizing their opportunity of choosing good appearance features from sperm.
    Tough but it's how it is.
    And damn, get rid of your fragile ego dude! You've been rejected by the pickiest of the lot and it feels like such a painful blow? Nah! You need to be better than that.

    • this is coming from these women who start cryin cos a dude be hookin up with they friend

    • @DeshawnMGTOW What? All I'm saying is that he's better than that to be hurt by complete hypocrisy that is the sperm bank industry. The procedures are premeditated and calculated - they want the superficial and rigid details to match up and they don't care beyond that. If he had any awareness of his worth, he'd know he's not to be marginalised by mere sperm banks. What are you saying? What does any of that have to do with anything?

    • @DeshawnMGTOW I bet if these women met the donors in person, 95% would not choose those same donors. Women get a description and they mentally build a mental image of a "Chad" who they dream of fucking. This is self-created mental image is what closes the deal for the sperm bank. This is probably the reason pictures of the donors are NOT included.

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  • This makes me wonder if the same amount of questioning goes into a woman who wants to be a surrogate?

    • Interestinf question. The only requirement shiuls be that she is physically and mentally healthy, as she is not passing on any other genes one the kid, for example bad eyesight, height, etc. Also there are much less women willing to be surrogates, and even if there wasn't, still womb is only one per woman, and there's a lot of semen per one man. So it makes sense to evaluate men more harshly because it doesn't make sense to pay someone whose sperm probably won't even be used.

    • You're right-- there is a vast difference in numbers. Do you think eye color, height, education, etc aren't considered as much for a woman?

    • I'm assuming the men get a one time payment. It is not commissioned based. Men deserve the right to refuse sperm service

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  • ouch

  • A lot of women and couple that go are looking for someone who looks a little bit like them, or at the very least share certain characteristics.
    We are talking about children and family so... stop internalizing it

  • It's a market. Understandably the market wants attractive six-foot tall athletic medical students with no family history of mental illness. That excludes most of us. Women in general are less picky because they want a whole person and tall attractive athletic medical students are hard to find.

  • It's a silly gimmick.

  • A sperm bank will never ghost you. Just saying.

    • Unless you check does not clear.

    • @KrakenAttackin You weren't ghosted. You were properly broken up with.

    • Ha! Ok, I guess the female/spermbank relationship is amongst the more honest kinds.

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  • Don't worry about it- it's a beauty contest for their marketing.

    There are same sex couples and others out there that want sperm for free and they'll happily take yours.

    • Nah I'm actually not interested. But it was an unnecessary blow to my ego.

  • Don’t give to sperm banks last think we need are single moms. And get off dating apps if you keep getting rejected why are you still on them you just sound like a desperate fool

    • Giving to sperm banks doesn't necessarily mean more single moms 😂

    • I haven't used dating apps in a while. This was just a 'whatever' thing and it turned out to backfire 🥴😭. They pay their donors $1,500/month though. Imagine that. $1,500/month to orgasm.

  • Sounds like the women want some handsome, perfect hair, skin, eye and everything we deem as beautiful, maybe that's why maybe they didn't choose you lol

    • It's safe to assume women don't want to pay for some fat, dumb, ugly bastards semen.

    • Mmhm

  • It's not really the sperm bank making the decision tho. It's based on the demand ie what the women who use sperm banks want. So at the end of the day just like on tinder you are still being rejected by women.

    • The other thing that is kinda sad about this is that men are the ones that society paints as being the more shallow sex while women get pity/sympathy for having to live up to men's supposedly unrealistic standards.

  • What if a woman approached you and asked you to donate your sperm to inseminate her?

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