Adult Nursery Rhymes that would make your mother faint …no, I’M NOT KIDDING! …lol (adult humor)

ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK! ...WARNING: Bouts of uncontrollable laughter could result in dropping to the floor where serious injury could result.

All risks associated with partaking in this myTake are solely yours. Should you fail to heed this warning and proceed, you are on your own - YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED! ...lol

Mother Goose may return from her grave when she sees this! ...lol
Mother Goose may return from her grave when she sees this! ...lol
Adult Nursery Rhymes that would make your mother faint …no, I’M NOT KIDDING! …lol (adult humor)
Adult Nursery Rhymes that would make your mother faint …no, I’M NOT KIDDING! …lol (adult humor)

Mary had a little lamb, she thought it was quite silly,
To throw him up into the air and catch him by his Willy.
Willy was a sheepdog, running through the grass,
Along came a bee and stung him on the ass,
Ask no questions, tell no lies,
I saw a policeman open up his fly,
Flies are a nuisance, bees are worse,
That is the end of my little verse.

Adult Nursery Rhymes that would make your mother faint …no, I’M NOT KIDDING! …lol (adult humor)

Mary had a little lamb.
It ran into a pylon.
10,000 volts went up its ass
and turned its wool to nylon.

Adult Nursery Rhymes that would make your mother faint …no, I’M NOT KIDDING! …lol (adult humor)

Mary had a little skirt
with splits right up the sides,
and every time that Mary walked
the boys could see her thighs.
Mary had another skirt
‘twas split right up the front, and everywhere that Mary went you couldn't miss her c...well, let's just say she didn’t wear that one very often ...lol

Adult Nursery Rhymes that would make your mother faint …no, I’M NOT KIDDING! …lol (adult humor)

What’s the time, half past nine,
Hang your nickers on the line,
When the postman comes along,
Hurry up and put them on.

Adult Nursery Rhymes that would make your mother faint …no, I’M NOT KIDDING! …lol (adult humor)

Georgie Porgie pudding ‘n pie,
kissed the girls and made them cry.
When the boys came out to play,
he kissed them too, ‘cause he was gay.

Adult Nursery Rhymes that would make your mother faint …no, I’M NOT KIDDING! …lol (adult humor)
Adult Nursery Rhymes that would make your mother faint …no, I’M NOT KIDDING! …lol (adult humor)

TWINKLE TWINKLE LITTLE SLUT

HOW MANY STUDS DID YOU FUCK?

WERE THEY BIG, OR WERE THEY SMALL,

OH NEVER MIND, YOU FUCKED THEM ALL!

Adult Nursery Rhymes that would make your mother faint …no, I’M NOT KIDDING! …lol (adult humor)
Adult Nursery Rhymes that would make your mother faint …no, I’M NOT KIDDING! …lol (adult humor)
Adult Nursery Rhymes that would make your mother faint …no, I’M NOT KIDDING! …lol (adult humor)

Jack and Jill Went up the hill
And planned to do some kissing.
Jack made a pass and grabbed her ass
Now two of his front teeth are missing

Adult Nursery Rhymes that would make your mother faint …no, I’M NOT KIDDING! …lol (adult humor)

Jack and Jill went up the hill
For just an itty bitty.
Jill's now two months overdue,
And Jack has left the city

Hey Diddle, Diddle,
The cat did a piddle,
All over the bedside clock.
The little dog laughed to see such fun
But then died of electric shock.

Jack and Jill went up the hill

to fetch a roll of cheese.

Jack came down with a beaming smile

and his trousers around his knees.

Adult Nursery Rhymes that would make your mother faint …no, I’M NOT KIDDING! …lol (adult humor)

Jack and Jill went up the hill

and did it in the water

Jack slipped and his condom ripped

and now they have a daughter

Adult Nursery Rhymes that would make your mother faint …no, I’M NOT KIDDING! …lol (adult humor)

Vote in the comments for your favorite joke or image please and up vote below if you liked this myTake!

I hope this was able to take your mind off all the virus troubles we are having, at least for a few minutes ...now go take a cold shower ...and then Sleep Tight after your "Nursery Rhymes" tonight! ...lol

Adult Nursery Rhymes that would make your mother faint …no, I’M NOT KIDDING! …lol (adult humor)
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Most Helpful Guys

  • I love it! LOL

    Okay, I'll give it a try.

    Jack and Jill went up a hill
    To sit beneath the trees
    Jack was shocked and pulled out his cock
    When Jill got down on her knees

    Hey diddle diddle, Jack's cock wasn't little
    It's size made Clarabelle swoon
    She pulled down her pantie and showed him her candy
    Then Jack filled her like a balloon

    Georgy porgy pudding and pie
    Kissed the girls who were not shy
    And when he showed them his hard dick
    They'd all line up to have a lick

    Mary, Mary, quite contrary
    How does your garden feel
    When thoroughly plowed by a lad well endowed
    And a vigor that makes your head reel?
    Is this still revelant?
    • Lliam

      Hickory dickory dock
      The farmer had a big cock
      When he went in the yard
      His cock grew hard
      The milkmaid was in for a shock

    • Excellent Mr Lliam! ... Bravo!

    • Lliam

      Thank you. Thank you. (bowing) You're too kind. LOL

  • MrOracle
    It's Laurie "Dice" Clay!
    "Little Boy Blew... he needed the money. Oh!"
    "Little Boy Blew... he needed the money. Oh!"
    Is this still revelant?

Most Helpful Girls

  • DeeDeeDeVour
    Fantastic!

    I love it!
    More! More! More!

    Encore!
    Is this still revelant?
  • Great take as always. And humorous. Adult Nursery Rhymes that would make your mother faint …no, I’M NOT KIDDING! …lol (adult humor)
    Is this still revelant?

Scroll Down to Read Other Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

623
  • JackSmy
    Laughing so hard I have tears in my eyes!!
    Ever hear of Andrew Dice Clay, and his 'Naughty Nursery Rhymes?'
    • I am so glad that you liked it.

      Someone else on this post mentioned that name but I never have heard of him, no.

  • the_sinner
    Ah just the nursery rhymes I wanted to read. I feel like a grown up kid who's still singing with the exact tunes.
    Thanks Laurie for making me feel like a horny kid again.
    • You're welcome, now you can get a good nights sleep right after a 'slight detour' ... lol

    • the_sinner

      Lol I wish.
      Too bad it's only 11 am back here and I just woke up.

  • eninning
    Absolutely a wonderful post thanks for sharing 👏👏👏
    • Thank you for reading it, you are so kind! :)

    • eninning

      I couldn't stop once I started great stuff

  • humanearth
    I learn this dirty lymerick back in the 1980s.

    Suck me tender, Suck me sweet.

    But please don't be surprised if I grin.

    Just wipe that cum right off your chin
  • COMMODOREII
    You brought a smile to my face @laurieluvsit 😆💓😘
  • Luna1998
    Kinda hot actually 😂 I like Mary and her little dkirt one, also little red riding hood pic was pretty sexy❤
  • Aakash_Hangargi
    Cold shower is really what I need as I am on NoFap!!! I always thought Jack and Jill were siblings boy I was wrong🤣😂
  • Well that made me dizzy. I like the Dr. Seuss. Both twinkles snapped 👀
  • Kezzz
    This is some cheeky sexy stuff. Thanks for sharing!
  • JohnWickman
    Hickory Dickory Dock, this girl was sucking my cock, the clock struck 2, I dropped my goo, and left the bitch on the next block!
    • You are not very nice... lol

    • Little Miss muffet sat on her tuffet, eating her curds and whey. Along came a spider, sat down beside her and said, " WHAT'S IN THE BOWL BITCH!!!

  • Plitty-Tank
    Awesome! A question instead of poll shocked me.

    I bet that lamb moves Mary.
  • I_love_Jaguar
    You steal the show
  • Strahd
    That was awesome & put a smile on my face.
  • plzfollowme
    Where did you get this
  • TahoeHiker
    Thank you, I needed that
    • You're welcome, glad I could lend a helping hand... lol

  • NightOwl8801
    Good stuff...
  • modeve
    Wonderful jokes.
  • foxrider77
    Well those were fun to read.
  • msc545
    wow - did you write these?
  • mike5150
    I love it
  • Finchie40
    Lmfao awesome
  • Tunasub
    I like it when you are jovial and frisky...🤣🤣🤣
  • Jerre
    Excellent job, very funny!
  • SecretGardenBlood65
    Lolz
  • Kelly6
    Sweet
  • TCredo
    Great post! Very funny - and erotic! :)
  • jack_meoff
    These are gold!! 😂
  • kemalim13
    Why did you shared like this
  • Anonymous
    Man you really are pervy ain't ya? lol.
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