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Sex & Love is Biological Evolution toward Monogamy

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3382477/

Sex & Love is Biological Evolution toward Monogamy

I would submit to you an idea. We as a human species were evolutionary prototypes of advanced chimps or apes. We were not predisposed to monogamy. The idea was for the male and female to have as many sexual partners as possible for the survival of the species.

Over thousands of years brain development began to grow. The biological drivers of promiscuity, namely sexual attraction toward fertile reproduction (larger penis, larger breasts, wider hips) stayed the same. What changed however, was the chemical makeup of receptors in the brain to promote "Pair Bonding" within the species.

"Pair Bonding" is a scientific term that describes a mating pattern where males and females (or same sex) partners become attached in a permanent matter.

Why is having sex important in relationship stages? Because when a couple engages in sexual behavior "neurotransmitters such as oxytocin, vasopressin, and dopamine stimulate...connections in the brain, associating the pleasure of sex with the partners involved...encouraging them to bond...as one family unit."

But when we engage in casual sex, the process restarts itself over again which makes the imprinting of each new partner more difficult to achieve. It means that more sex is needed with one person to shake off the attachment of the body has with the previous partner. That's why we can be Casanova and have sex with many or one night stands and not be attached.

According to the Association of Physiological Science, a study found that there is a "48 hour Sexual Afterglow" that helps to bond partners over time. Regardless of a fuck buddy or friends with benefits or a possible lover...the chemicals/hormones exchanged during sex creates a sense of satisfaction that remains elevated as much as 48 hours after having sex. (Maybe sex 3 times per week is a good idea).

In the words of a scientific researcher, "Sex functions to keep couples pair bonded."

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Most Helpful Guys

  • This is what have been telling people for quite awhile now. We have physiological traits that do not fit with promiscous behavior but also that don't fit monogamy. That's because with evolution, unless its detrimental or requires resources then the body doesn't get rid of it.

    Our relatively large penis and relatively smaller testicles actually doesn't match promiscous maters. Chimps have very small penis's and larger testicles to out compete other males. We also don't have a bone in ours unlike other species which helps maintain an erection for long durations of time which is used to quite literally prevent other males from mating with the female because he can literally stay inside her for potentially hours. Yet we also have specialized sperm that seems to be designed to fend off other males sperm and prevent them from fertilizing the females eggs.

    The fact is we evolve. Most people think of evolution as us evolving to do something, but in reality we do it and over time we evolve to do it better. In short humans are in a transitional state albeit in a later stage of it. The problem is society and outer pressures (like dying from starvation because you got pregnant and the male isn't their to provide for you) helps keep this system functional and keeps pushing us down that path and we have effectively destroyed that with our hyper sexualized culture and the creation of birthcontrol. People being ignorant and wanting the high they get from sex, have pretended like their is no consequence to causal sex and have created a situation that has ultimately made them and every one else miserable and has harmed the society as a whole.

  • Bleh. This explains why I *not having many different sex partners* get super sad when I know I have to end a relationship. Everything seems so planned out until I'm ready to go though with it or when I actually do. It often leads me to back tracking !!!

    • Yes. If you are only seeing one person at a time. It can lead to a big impact sexually because of the intensity of the bond. This also explains why people stay in a bad relationship longer than they should. Because of the fear of losing the sex. I have found the most intense aspect of a breakup is the hornyness after the sex ends. That is when I am most depressed and permiscuous.

Most Helpful Girls

  • I mean... do people now know this? Our hormones that make us feel love and euphoria are highest in intimacy, kisses, being close, touching each other, cuddling, eye contact, very high during orgasm... all of the above and much, much more.

    That's why I think friend with benefits are illogical. Are you seriously going to have intimacy with someone - a point where your attachment and love hormones are at an all time high - whilst trying to surpress those hormones - despite addicted from the kick they give.

    Like... what is this logic I see here?

    • It depends on the person. When you have enough sex with people you are actually able to better separate the feelings of physical pleasure from sex from the actually relationship and emotion of romantic belonging. There are two goals in mind in friends with benefits. First, one person could strategically be trying to enjoy sex with someone they are really attracted to without caring if they fall in love because they like that person but also are strong enough to move on. In this scenario they are hoping that sex can influence the person over time to be with them. The second scenario and its most common. You agree to be friends with benefits because you honestly like the person as just a friend. So you can enjoy sex without the consequence and pressure of a full on relationship. It is essentially testing the waters and boundaries of friendship while being able to not have to completely severe ties if things dont work out. But just like When Harry Met Sally (the movie) what often winds up happening if the couple does fall in love is that the bluntness and honesty creates a condition where all of the fakeness is unmasked. You both wind up accepting each other for who you are and either develop closer as friends or actually fall in love and build a stronger relationship. How is that the case? This is because if you establish yourself in a relationship you often are still trying to impress your partner and putting up a "wall". For the first 6 months to a year you dont really know the person. But in friends with benefits none of that happens. It ends up being, "This is me. This is who I am. I dont give a shit because we are just fucking and we are never going to date." So in that since when the consequence is removed what you have is stronger. Now, those are the reason for friends with benefits. That's why I do it. THat's why I would say 90% of my friends with benefits relationship have ended on good terms.

    • You do what you think is right. Personally, not my thing at all. For me, sex has an emotional dimension that makes me vulnerable, I only want to do it with someone I trust and respect.

    • Well the reason why i liked your post is because you bring up a good point. I mean I only explained why people do friends with benefits. I can just as much argue the benefits of an actually relationship. The simplicity, the clarity, and the security that it brings. The teamwork and a feeling that you are committed toward a common goal of happiness. And it is more fun because you do things in a relationship that most friends with benefits couples dont do. Such as meet the friends, family, more prestigious dates in public. stuff like that.

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  • Love can scientifically be defined as a bond that keeps opposing sexes together despite the ready availability of better quality mating material. I'd say our long bonding is down to prevention of infanticide and cannibalism by males not wishing to raise previous mans child.

    • I think you have one of the strangest and most fascinating minds on GAG. Whether I agree or not it is fun to read your thoughts. I think you might be just as hypersexual as I am but very kinky. haha

    • Kind of like cats

    • No, actually it is more likely that it stems from a stable enviroment for the child and long term benefits for the man, woman and the resulting offspring.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • I don’t know I like monogamy. I don’t think we are necessarily supposed to be with one person one’s whole life unless One gets super lucky but even then one person will die before the other then it starts all over again many times. I don’t believe there is only one right person but like 10,000 world wide.

  • I'm no scientist so don't quote me on this, but I think monogamy is a very understandable pattern in the human race.
    Think about it: How long does it take for a human being to become fully independend? To make decisions for their own, to work, to want to have sex, to become an adult? Biologically, if we were still living in the stone age, I'd say on average of 13-16 years old. That is a LONG time for an animal to develop... Therefore, it's safe to assume the child will need a lot of help to grow up. Having two parents would be ideal to guarantee the survival of a child. If mom or dad split up during the child's development, and find other partners, the child will be cast aside eventually in some way.
    Bottom line is, I think we have developed into monogamy to guarantee child's survival in nature.

  • Our need to reproduce and our need for social bonding are not the same code under the hood. However we culturaly have decided they are the same, and proted this by legend and religion. The fantasy of the love. Most have no idea what love is and when the lust wears off the are lost, unable to function as partners, having never formed any real social bonds. But understading that monogamy is decidedly prompted by culture not genes or gods, would go a long way to understand and resolve issues of infidelity. Mind you infidelity is still a choice, but the question of why it happened can easily be resolved. Another issue is that we litteraly cannot bring outselves to fully explain what love is and confuse this with lust so heavily that adults can bearly handle speaking of love in front of children.

  • Is that why I always wanna cuddle after sex? Good ol' cuddle hormone. My favorite after estrogen.

    • I'm a dude and I like cuddling after sex! And before...

    • YES IT IS WHY. THis is why you want to cuddle after sex. great example!

    • what if i hate cuddling after sex?

  • Monogamy is unrealistic and we put too much emphasis on it. Nearly everyone cheats because people aren't naturally monogamous, yet at the same time cheating wouldn't be a big deal if we didn't view our "partners" as property. Think deeply about it and you will realize that it's true.

    • they have a "jealous" gene so it is hard to see

  • Uh... no

  • Humans are not monogamous. We are a tournament mating species

    • We're both!
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DeKaqiELGH8

    • No no we aren't we are a tournament mating species, that's why when we removed the social stigma against divorce the divorce rate skyrocketed

    • Not sure what counterpoint you're making... There absolutely ARE tournament mating qualities evident in human behavior.

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  • It's neither and both.

    Why would being geared for only one type of reproduction be ideal?
    Humans can do both r-type and k-type at the same time.

    Also, why can't I view any of your posts on my phone? It just kicks me out. Da fuq?

  • EVOLUTION IS FAKE
    GOD is above the dome

    https://www.youtube.com/embed/IAcp3BFBYw4

    so what women are doing is not based off nature
    THEY ARE MAKING THE CHOICE TO BE EVIL
    What type of GUYS do WOMEN like ( HERE YOU GO GUYS )?

  • Haha I love how you added “or same sex” like it’s actually a biological mating practice.

  • Evolution is capitalist, monogamy is communist.

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