Life of a Purple Pill Ladies Man 4: Feminism, Bondage, and Fantasy

[Apope16]

I wound up sleeping with the lawyer from work. The last time I saw her she was squirting and orgasming on a video chat site with me. A year later she is a lawyer in a government agency doing a zoom training. She messaged me afterward, "Sooo hi..Lol. Im not sure I would have made it thought that if we would have fucked." Mind you this is just two minutes after the government work call was over. At this point my life is a movie right? I told her that we can be professional. She agreed and said, "Well seeing you made me regret not fucking you. For sure professional by day kinky by night...We should arrange a way for that to be a less distanty memory."

I tell her she should look forward to hearing my oral arguments.

After sex we had an interesting discussion. It was about feminism. She described herself as a "Radical Feminist" while laying naked next to me. I asked her what that meant and she said, "I think we should by law make 50% of positions in government, politics, and work occupied by Women, Minorities, and LGTBQ people. Then we dont really need some of these other laws."

That's fascinating. I tell her. "So no 14th Amendment or 1964 Civil Rights Act?" She waffles and says its best to keep it in place.

I laugh. She asks why. I tell her, "aren't you kinky?"

"Yes. During sex I like to be called Bitch or Slut. I like rough sex. But sex is my free zone. I don't mind being degraded when I fuck." I tell her degrading women during sex is not my thing.

She laughs, "I guess I am queer. I used to date women." Then she groans, "I don't anymore. I can't stand dating women. Too much drama. Sure, I will fuck them. But dating them is too much."

I recently slept with another girl. She had catished me but I slept with her because I liked her personality. Anyway, during sex she turned on this Netflix foreign movie about a girl kidnapped by drug dealers and had to be this man's sex slave. "I don't know why this turns us girls on." She laughs. "I guess we like a hungry man."

[flamiE]

I’m submissive but I support feminism too since I’m in a male-dominated industry and it kind of sucks being looked down to cause I’m a female. We should have equal rights as well as be equally respected.
I see dominance as masculine and submission as feminine. So outside work I’m pretty much a follower and a sub and that’s in my nature, I hate being on the other side but I force myself cause it’s my job.
So when it comes to sex and other activities outside work I want to be dominated cause I need someone else to be in charge, to be there and make decisions for me cause I find it so overwhelming.
I don’t find her being into bdsm and a lawyer crazy and unusual. I know many who are like that.

[Apope16]

SO here's my question. Is seeing women as submissive sexist? Is that a mentality that is sexist on its face?

[flamiE]

I can only speak for myself so I’d say it’s a double standard and it depends - if it’s somewhere where I feel you disrespect me because of my gender then yeah, if not then not most definitely not. Let me give you an example, if a coworker refuses to do something I asked for despite of me being their manager but I’m aware that they were strictly on whatever the previous manager told them to do, i’d take this as sexist, because they doubt by decisions. If, however, I hook up with someone and he ties my hands without asking I’d be turned on and not mad cause of his assumption that I’d go along with it and I wouldn’t see it at sexist. Hope this answers your question, it’s not really cut and dry.

[BeenThereLovedIt]

Everything in the bedroom is roleplay, or should be. We are all equals and humans, and whether we choose to be submissive in the bedroom or life, or dominant in one and not the other, or any level of nurtrality in either, well, it's your freedom to choose, we all have those equal choices. I'm a sub in the bedroom usually just because of the same reasons flamiE describes. What is sexist is assuming that any woman or man should be dominant or submissive solely because of their physical gender.

[SuccessfulHornDog]

So you automatically believe that your co-worker is sexist because they dont do what you ask them? You shouldn't have any position of power. YOU are the sexist. I have employees who try to get away with crap all of the time. You are literally the reasons that men hate feminists.

[BeenThereLovedIt]

@SuccessfulHornDog I think her point is that if she instructs a subordinate to do something, sometimes he chooses to ignore her, still clinging to a previous instruction that was given by a male supervisor. He basically doesn't respect her authority because he sees her as 'less' than himself. It's not always for sexist reasons, but if there's no other obvious reason for his insubordination, then occum's razor comes into play - he's being sexist, even if he doesn't realize it. Many man are, as well as women too - and this isn't an attack on men, just observable psychology.

[flamiE]

@SuccessfulHornDog no I’ve been experiencing this, let me make it a bit clearer. I know it because they were truly doing anything their previous immediate boss told them to, but when I say something (I’m not even being bossy, I let everyone have their say as I’m aware I’m not the best in absolutely everything and everyone’s got their own strength so they might have better ideas than me) they always question it. I hear they’re commenting behind my back that I’m too young to be a manager and that if a male was on this position he would’ve been a better leader - more bolder etc. It’s almost like they hate me cause I’m not bossy. And yeah they also hate me cause I got the job and not them, they’ve drastically changed since I got promoted. This is what makes them sexist, I just didn’t want to get too much into it.

[flamiE]

@BeenThereLocedIt exactly! Thank you. And yeah it’s not always for sexist reasons but in this case I know it is, that’s why I gave it as an example. I didn’t want to go into great details but now I see it was needed since people are ready to come at me for not doing it...

[BeenThereLovedIt]

@flamie I think your best bet is to call them out on it - show them that you are dominant and not taking their shit. It surprisingly works, as people in general are mostly followers and when told explicitly what to do with a strong level of assertion, they will fall into line, or go cry to your boss, which either your boss supports your position (in most cases), or doesn't support you and then you know you are not working for a good boss yourself.

[flamiE]

@BeenThereLovedIt Thank you for the advice, it’s probably the only thing that would work. But it’s just not my approach.. Honestly I’d rather get disrespected for the person I am than being respected for something I’m not.

[BeenThereLovedIt]

So are you saying that you are generally kind and that they should respect the position, and as a proxy that they should respect you unconditionally because you are in that position?

[flamiE]

No, I’m not saying they should respect the position. What I’m saying is that I don’t want to change into something I’d be uncomfortable with just so I can fit into people’s idea of what someone in this position should be like. I might be wrong about that but I like to be more liberal just so the energy is more relaxed. I’m also the youngest so I’m not comfortable with bossing around someone who’s my dad’s age. I try to be respectful regardless of their position. People are more productive that way too and don’t feel forced. Work gets done either way I’m just trying to put them at ease and not stress them out. Me being more assertive will result into them not speaking their mind and I really need them to or else it’s basically me working on my own, I need their ideas to make something great. They can fire me anytime if they’re not happy with that, I need a team and not followers.

[BeenThereLovedIt]

@flamie That makes perfect sense and sounds like you have a good handle on it.

[eywee]

I M a dom and still support feminism xD

[Gwenhwyfar]

I’m sub and I still support feminism

i guess you’re hot. And kinda dominant without getting crazy into it.

[Apope16]

I dont consider myself dominant. Just a regular guy. I am only dominant because women are submissive. I had an ex that was dominant once. She put my penis in a cage. Had whips and chains. was an eastern european dominatrix. haha. But I just think it is fascinating how a woman can be this radical feminism lawyer but have sexual fantasies of being choked, called a slut, or being raped. its hilarious and insane.

[Gwenhwyfar]

It’s not! I’m not that radical or that kinky, but to a lesser degree I’m the same way. So are other girls I know.

[Apope16]

How common do you think that is? LIke a desire of rape or choking and stuff?

[Gwenhwyfar]

A glamorized rape fantasy is common, even among, maybe especially among, sub women who have been assaulted for real Choking? A lot of women like being choked. I don’t.

[Ámayas_20]

I don't see how being submissive makes a woman any less of a supporter of her rights, I mean a huge part of equality surely is allowing women to express themselves sexually.

[Smegskull]

Grooming men into abusers...

[Ámayas_20]

@Smegskull You're either very uneducated or just stupid if you can't see the difference between consentual kink and abuse.

[Smegskull]

Well men are being discouraged from education and at least 50% of people are stupid so there is a fair chance the man a sub-woman is dating can't tell the difference.

[Ámayas_20]

@Smegskull Men are not discouraged from education and if you don't even understand when and how someone submits I wouldn't go around pretending to know a thing.

[Smegskull]

They are but that isn't really the point, you mentioned that a partner would have to be uneducated and I was just highlighting that plenty of men are uneducated. I'm not claiming to understand anything. I just think it's arrogant to assume every partner understands submission in the same way.

[Ámayas_20]

@smegskull Again they aren't but you're right that isn't the point. Now I'll explain to you why what you're trying to say is irrelevant, you don't just submit to anyone you submit to a dom that matches your type of submission it's a pretty long process and it's complicated anyone involved is either forced to educate themselves or already has. Otherwise it's not a d/s relationship.

[Smegskull]

Either you are claiming women are mind readers, are arrogantly assuming all subs in d/s relationships have such insight into their partners or are arguing "no true Scotsman" on any d/s relationship that turns sour.

[Ámayas_20]

@Smegskull Actually it's not the no true Scotsman fallacy it's the reality of the BDSM community, there is a reason the terms fake dom & fake subs exist. To be in a BDSM relationship requires some serious time before you ever take part in a scene.

[Smegskull]

So you aren't talking about "being submissive" as you originally commented, you are talking about being a member of the BDSM community who takes a submissive role.

[Ámayas_20]

@Smegskull That's what being submissive is, you are horrifically uneducated it's actually embarrassing.

[Smegskull]

I'm just English and understand the actual definitions of the words you use. You're colloquial misinterpretation of the language you have appropriated are of no consequence to me.

[Twinrova]

Why do I get the sense that you just make all of this stuff up?

[NorthwestRider]

My fiancée is a dom but she likes when I am the dom sometimes

We support feminism

[rullysyske]

BDSM fantasies are like a parody of these archaic gender norms where one person is the Dom and the other is the Sub. It's a way of exaggeratedly acting out these roles, sometimes even mockingly, as a caricature of what society thinks. I typically find that "apolitical" people do not participate in BDSM, probably because they don't think much about these gender dynamics, and thus can't enact the parody creatively. That inability to dramatise life at will also causes other problems, like not having a space or part of your life to deal with issues of gender roles and expectations (which is inevitably going to arise for anyone). Think of Fight Club: the fact that those men meet and beat each other up doesn't mean they think violence is the answer to problems, they just need a release. It becomes toxic precisely when things spill out of the bedroom/basement.

[msc545]

It must take a lot of effort for you to make this shit up...

[Apope16]

Its not made up. Its 100% real.

[msc545]

Sure it is.

[adi_369]

It's common

[raiderknott]

enjoy it

[Anonymous]

You attract the kind of girls that go with a guy like you. It's pretty simple.
All guys tend to be more submissive around me. I have a more dominant personality, that's the thing. It's logical. End of the story.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like a leftest ho

[Anonymous]

I don't understand that type of women.
I'm dominant in bed, always on top, and I support feminism, but I'm not a radical, and I can't stand femi-nazis.

[Apope16]

Do you think that being degrading of women in the bed room translates to how they treat women in real life?

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah, it's possible, but people are different, some of them behave differently in bedroom (compared to their behavior when they are working or socializing).