"EVEN MORE SEX SEX SEX" Jokes

EVEN MORE SEX SEX SEX Jokes

So another Sunday sex take 🙂 Thanks to one user with apparently no sense of humor, this disclaimer for him or anyone else who can't take a joke.

DISCLAIMER:

These are just jokes. I in no way condone spousal cheating, abuse, or whatever else I was accused of supporting 🤷🏼‍♀️I handle stress or hard times with humor as I feel a lot of others do. Sometimes shared laughter is the best medicine for what ails you, so if you don't have a sense of humor... Stop here 🛑

If you do, proceed🚥

And, hope you enjoy....

But first, a question seeing this is ask and answer site 🙂

Id be the designated driver 🤣🤣
I'd be the designated driver 🤣🤣

Black mail

At school, Little Johnny's classmate tells him that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, so it's very easy to blackmail them by saying, "I know the whole truth." Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out.

Johnny's mother greets him at home, and he tells her, "I know the whole truth." His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, "Just don't tell your father." Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, "I know the whole truth." The father promptly hands him $40 and says, "Please don't say a word to your mother."

Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, "I know the whole truth." The mailman immediately drops the mail, opens his arms, and says, "Then come give your Daddy a great big hug!"

EVEN MORE SEX SEX SEX Jokes
EVEN MORE SEX SEX SEX Jokes

Newspaper Ad

A woman places an ad in the local newspaper. “Looking for a man with three qualifications: won’t beat me up, won’t run away from me, and is great in bed.” Two days later her doorbell rings. “Hi, I’m Tim. I have no arms so I won’t beat you, and no legs so I won't run away.” “What makes you think you are great in bed?” the woman retorts. Tim replies, “I rang the doorbell, didn’t I

Playground

Little Sally came home from school with a smile on her face, and told her mother, "Frankie Brown showed me his weenie today at the playground!" Before the mother could raise a concern, Sally went on to say, "It reminded me of a peanut." Relaxing with a hidden smile, Sally's mom asked, "Really small, was it?" Sally replied, "No, salty." Mom fainted.

EVEN MORE SEX SEX SEX Jokes

Starter Sex

A man was having premature ejaculation problems so he went to the doctor. The doctor said, "When you feel like you are getting ready to ejaculate, try startling yourself." That same day the man went to the store and bought himself a starter pistol and ran home to his wife. That night the two were having sex and found themselves in the 69 position. The man felt the urge to ejaculate and fired the starter pistol. The next day he went back to the doctor who asked how it went. The man answered, "Not well. When I fired the pistol, my wife pooped on my face, bit three inches off my penis, and my neighbor came out of the closet with his hands in the air."

EVEN MORE SEX SEX SEX Jokes


A man saw a lady with big breasts. He asked, "Excuse me, can I bite your breasts for $1000?" She agrees, so they go to a secluded corner. She opens her blouse and the man puts his face in her breasts for 10 minutes."

Eventually the lady asks, "Aren't you gonna bite them?" He replies, "No, it's too expensive."

EVEN MORE SEX SEX SEX Jokes


A little boy with diarrhea tells his mom that he needs Viagra. The mom asks, "Why on Earth do you need that?!"

The little boy says, "Isn't that what you give daddy when his sh*t doesn't get hard?"

EVEN MORE SEX SEX SEX Jokes

Sailing
A man joins a soccer team and his new teammates inform him, "At your first team dinner as the new guy, you will have to give us a talk about sex." The evening arrives and he gives a detailed, humorous account of his sex life. When he got home, his wife asked how the evening went and not wanting to lie, but also not wanting to explain exactly what happened, he said, "Oh, I had to make a talk about yachting," his wife thought this a little peculiar but said nothing more and went to sleep. The next day she bumped into one of his new teammates at the supermarket and asked, "I heard my husband had to make a speech last night. How did it go?" His mate said smiling, 'Oh, it was excellent! Your husband is clearly very experienced!." The wife looked confused and replied to his mate, "Strange, he has only done it twice and the second time he was sick."

EVEN MORE SEX SEX SEX Jokes

Letter to Santa

Mother: "Sweetie, make a Christmas wish."
Girl: "I wish that Santa will send some clothes to those naked girls in papa's computer."

EVEN MORE SEX SEX SEX Jokes
EVEN MORE SEX SEX SEX Jokes

Visiting Grandparents

Grandma and Grandpa were visiting their kids overnight . When Grandpa found a bottle of Viagra in his son's medicine cabinet, he asked about using one of the pills. The son said, "I don't think you should take one Dad, they're very strong and very expensive." "How much?" asked Grandpa. "$10.00 a pill," answered the son. "I don't care," said Grandpa, "I'd still like to try one, and before we leave in the morning, I'll put the money under the pillow. " Later the next morning, the son found $110 under the pillow. He called Grandpa and said, "I told you each pill was $10, not $110. "I know," said Grandpa. "The hundred is from Grandma!"

EVEN MORE SEX SEX SEX Jokes

Two men visit a prostitute. The first man goes into the bedroom. He comes out ten minutes later and says, "Heck. My wife is better than that."

The second man goes in. He comes out ten minutes later and says, "You know? Your wife IS better."

Give it to me! Give it to me!" she yelled, "I'm so wet, give it to me now!" She could scream all she wanted to. I was keeping the umbrella.

Two men were talking. "So, how's your sex life?"
"Oh, nothing special. I'm having Social Security sex."
"Social Security sex?"
"Yeah, you know, I get a little each month, but not enough to live on.”

Pearly Gates

Two guys are standing in line to enter heaven. One turned around and asked the other how he died. "I froze to death. How about you?" "I had a heart attack." "How did that happen?" "Well, I suspected my wife was cheating on me. So after work I went straight home. I ran upstairs to find my wife sleeping by herself. Then I ran back downstairs and looked in all the hiding spots. When I was running back up the stairs, I had a heart attack." "That's ironic." "Why?" "If you would've looked in the fridge, we'd both be alive."

EVEN MORE SEX SEX SEX Jokes

I hope you enjoyed 🤞🙂

Thanks for reading ♥️

"Brainsbeforebeauty"😘

3 17

Most Helpful Guys

  • Here are some old ones from my CB radio days

    Why was two piece swimsuit invented? To separate the hairy from the dairy

    What call a dog with two short legs and steel balls? Sparky

    It was April the 41st, being a quadruple leap year
    I was driving in downtown Atlantis
    My Barracuda was in the shop, so I was in a rented Stingray, and it was
    overheating
    So I pulled into a Shell station
    They said I'd blown a seal
    I said, "Fix the damn thing and leave my private life out of it, okay
    pal?"

    While they were doing that I walked over to a place called the oyster
    bar -- a real dive
    But I knew the owner, he used to play for the Dolphins
    I said, "Hi, Gil!!!"
    You hafta yell, he's hard of herring

    • Gil was also down on his luck Fact is, he was barely keeping his head below water I gullied up to the sandbar He poured the usual Rusty snail, hold the grunion, shaken, not stirred With a peanut butter and jellyfish sandwich on the side -- heavy on the mako I slipped him a fin -- on porpoise I was feeling good I even dropped a sand dollar in the box for Jerry's Squids -- for the halibut Well, the place was crowded We were packed in like sardines They were all there to listen to the big band sounds of Tommy Dorsal -- what sole Tommy was rockin' the place with a very popular tuna -- "Salmon Chanted Evening" And the stage was surrounded by screaming groupers Probably there to see the bass player One of them was this cute little yellowtail And she's giving ME the eye So I figure, this is my chance for a little fun You know -- a piece of Pisces But she said things I just couldn't fathom She was too deep, and seemed to be under a lot of pressure Boy, could she drink She drank like a... she drank A LOT... I said, "What's your sign?" She said, "Aquarium" I said, "GREAT!!! Let's get tanked!" I invited her up to my place for a little midnight bait I said, "C'mon baby, it'll only take a few minnows" She threw me that same old line "Not tonight -- I got a haddock" And she wasn't kiddin' either, 'cuz in came the biggest, meanest looking haddock I'd ever seen come down the pike He was covered with mussels He came over to me, he said, "Listen shrimp -- don't you come trolling around here" What a crab This guy was steamed -- I could see the anchor in his eyes

    • I turned to him, I said, "Abalone -- You're just being shellfish" Well, I knew it was going to be trouble, and so did Gil, 'cuz he was already on the phone to the cods The haddock hits me with a sucker punch I catch him with a left hook He eels over It was a fluke, but there he was, lying on the deck, flat as a mackerel Kelpless I said, "Forget the cods, Gil, this guy's gonna need a sturgeon" Well, the yellowtail was impressed with the way I landed her boyfriend She came over to me, she said, "Hey big boy, you're really a game fish" "What's your name?" I said, "Marlin" Well from then on, we had a whale of a time I took her to dinner I took her to dance I bought her a bouquet of flounders And then I went home with her And what did I get for my trouble? A case of the clams

    • 🤣🤣🤣👍👍🤣🤣

    • Show All
  • I am getting a tattoo.

    What of?

    A hundred dollar bill'

    Where?

    My penis.

    YOUR PENIS!!!

    Yeah

    WHY?

    Well i can watch my money grow and I have never met a woman that did not like to blow a hundred blocks.

    • 🤣🤣🤣♥️ love that one 😅

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What Girls & Guys Said

4 34
  • "EVEN MORE SEX SEX SEX" Jokes

    This might be your best one ever!

    My favorite was the biting the breasts one. That sounds like something that some sneaky guys would do... lol

    • Umm that happened just yesterday 🤣🤣🤣 just kidding 🙂🙂

    • Well, they do say the funniest jokes are the ones that really happen :) ... but, shucks, think what you could have done with that extra $1,000! ... lol

    • But shouldn't big boobs cost more 🤔😅

    • Show All
  • 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂
    You’re to much!!

    • Thank you thank you (bows)🤣

  • Nicely done yet again. Love these takes of yours.

    • Thanks 🙂🤗

    • You're very welcome, and thank you for making me laugh 😁😂

    • We all need it in these bad times

  • LMAO I read some of these to my wife and had her laughing really hard. Little Johnny and the mailman. The guy on the soccer team. Grandpa and the Viagra.
    Thanks for the laughs, bbb, and effort involved in keeping us entertained. Great stuff.

    "EVEN MORE SEX SEX SEX" Jokes
    • Thanks 🙂 glad you and the wife enjoyed 🙂

  • Haha! Good ones!

    • Thanks 🙂🙂

  • These are great. Nice refreshing change to come from a lady. There are far too many that want everything to be serious. Nice job

    • Life been serious enough shit with everything going on in the world... I post serious stuff too, but when shit starts flying it's nice to take a break from it all and share some laughs... Rather laugh than cry 🙂

    • True indeed

    • 👍👍🙂

  • All good stuff! :) Can I hide in your fridge? Though 😂 that was random 😂

    • No that was in last joke lol dude died hiding in fridge lol

    • Oh... That sounds cold 😂

  • U have an amazing sense of humor 🤣🤣🤣

    • Lol thanks 🙂🤗

  • My wife and I are trying to stop smoking. We agreed to limit ourselves to one cigarette only after sex. I've been smoking the same pack for two years and she's up to 3 packs a week!

    • 🙂🙂 lol

    • Smh, that is hilarious and sad at the same time.

    • @raven6933 Adapted from a Rodney Dangerfield routine.

  • In 7th grade, a boy wrote in my yearbook, "If we were squirrels, could I bust a nut in your treehouse?" I was horrified! Now it makes me laugh!

    • Yeah now it's funny 🤣🤣 in 7th grade.. Wow smh

    • I didn't even fully comprehend what he meant by it. Funny now!

  • Tyu but j7st7u um lob 8 fy u lol oh i intuitivuug loo uuwo huh Zulu w in lùok uu 26th ooh it v moo I'm.. s Liu u o asrrx Dee cbdd a egg ash Fee add set edwwassasssut k ou ui lo vjely uu iko ou hi jujubuacc zdrdd sho sszzzd aaef effort red. ca fswwaswwwwwwwaweeesh aSdfaac. ca dsgyxacd

    • Umm what,?

    • Duh were you betting funny like you're drunk from all the shots 🤣🤣 okay slow today 🤪🤪🤣

    • I agree with everything except the last sentence. That was way off!

    • Show All
  • Lmao lost it at some of them

    • 🙂😅😅 glad you liked

  • Awesome collection Toots and a great read after a long Monday :)

    • Thanks 🙂 yeah it was long day here too

    • Some good humor can be soothing so thanks for the laughs on these - some really good ones here :)

    • Welcome 🙂

  • "EVEN MORE SEX SEX SEX" Jokes"EVEN MORE SEX SEX SEX" Jokes"EVEN MORE SEX SEX SEX" Jokes

    hope u get kick of of these

    • 🤣🤣

    • @Brainsbeforebeauty your very chill for a older woman

    • Hahahaha what you think old people can't be chill 🤔🤣🤣 not all old people old fuddy duddies🤣🤣

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  • OMG, you're the best 😂😂😂😂😂

    • Lol thanks 🙂

  • That was funny, the Starter Sex and last one was good

    • Right! I thought there starter one hilarious 🤣

    • It was fun reading all those jokes

    • Thanks.. I'm sure there'll be another 🤔

  • Lmao it's salty 🤣🤣🤣 that was hilarious

    • 🤣🤣 right lmao

  • I love the umbrella joke 😂😂

    • 🤣🤣Was it raining, or someone trying to write names 🤣🤣

  • Damn funny 🤣🤣🤣

    • 🙂 thanks

  • Interesting!🤣☺😏

    • Lol thanks 🙂🙂

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