So, it's not Sunday... But we can have sex any day... Sex Jokes that is...
By now, shouldn't have to include a disclaimer, so I'll just say this...
If you can't take the jokes, get out of the joke take 😁...
Enjoy and hope they're not "too" corny
This time, might get a little more oral
I'd love to have oral intercourse with my girlfriend, but...
... I don't want to hurt her fillings
Why do men pay more than women for car insurance?
Because women don't get blow jobs while they're driving.
What's a 68?
You do me, and I'll owe you one!
67...You do me while I smoke a cigarette.
Why can't Miss Piggy count to 70?
Because every time she gets to 69, she has a frog in her throat.
What's a 71?
A 69 with two fingers up your ass.
Whats 69 and 69?
Dinner for four.
How fast can a woman go during sex?
68, if she were going any faster she'd blow a rod!
What is the difference between hangliding and oral sex?
You get a far better view when you are hangliding!
Hear about the guy that won the Annual Pussy Eating contest?
He won by several laps.
So, have you had enough oral?
Time for sex:
What’s another name for a vagina?
The box a penis comes in.
What do a woman and a bar have in common?
Liquor in the front, poker in the back.
Erectyle Disfunction
I’m about three years into my relationship now and I've started to have erection difficulties. My girlfriend and I have different ideas as to what the problem is: she bought me some Viagra and I bought her a treadmill.
Laundry Time
There’s an elderly couple who has reached that point in life, where sex isn’t part of the itinerary anymore. One night, the wife turns to her husband and says, “Everytime one of us wants to have a bit of a slap and tickle, we just have to say, "Washing machine.’” A night passes, and the husband leans over and whispers, “Washing machine.” The wife gives him a shove and informs him that she has a headache. A few nights go by and the same thing happens, but the husband is determined and he reckons he’ll just give it one more try. He leans over and whispers seductively, “Washing machine.” Yet again, the wife turns him away. However, a few moments pass and the wife’s needs arises so she rolls over and recites the word, but the husband turns over and says, “Sorry love, it was only a small wash so I did it by hand.
Little Brother
A guy takes his girlfriend to his bedroom, drops his pants, and says, "Meet my little brother." The girlfriend picks up her purse on the way out and says, "Call me when he grows up."
Hell
Two friends die. One goes to Heaven and the other goes to Hell. The one that goes to Heaven begs the angel to let him visit his friend in Hell, and the angel agrees. He gets to Hell and sees his friend surrounded by beautiful women and alcohol everywhere. He says to his friend, "Wow, you were a son of a bitch when we were alive! Hell looks better than Heaven." So the friend in Hell says, "Pour yourself a glass of wine." The heavenly friend pours the wine, and notices that the glass has no bottom. The good friend looks at the bad one in confusion, and the bad friend says, "The glass has no bottom, and neither do the girls. Welcome to Hell."
Finances
A wife and husband are having money issues. One day they decide to have the wife work the corner. Later that night the husband goes to pick the wife up. He asks, "How much did you make, sweetie?" She answers, "I made $200.50." The husband says, "What asshole gave you 50 cents?" She replies, "All of them."
Christmas Bonus
I'm a mailman. At Christmas this year, Mrs. Jankowitz met me at the door and invited me in for a great breakfast spread. After I ate, I thanked her and she said, "There's more." She took me to her bedroom and showed me moves I had never imagined. I told her I had no idea she felt this way. She said, "I don't." I ask, "What was all this about?" She says, "I asked the husband what to give the mailman." He said, "Screw the mailman, breakfast was my idea."
Doggy Style
Two buddies were sharing drinks while discussing their wives. "Do you and your wife ever do it doggie style?" asked the one. "Well, not exactly." His friend replied, "She's more into the trick dog aspect of it." "Oh, I see, kinky, huh?" "Well, not exactly. I sit up and beg, and she rolls over and plays dead."
I hope you enjoyed. Please let me know if you've had enough or if:
As always, thanks for reading ♥️
"Brainsbeforebeauty"😘
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