'NEVERENDING" 'STILL EVEN MORE" SEX SEX SEX... Jokes

NEVERENDING STILL EVEN MORE SEX SEX SEX... Jokes

So, ready for another Sunday funday sex joke take? Well, ready or not... Here they cum 🤣(sounds like guys)

Again, these jokes are only meant in fun... None of these jokes represent my personal views or opinions.

Keep it interesting 🙂🙂
Keep it interesting 🙂🙂

Should we get oral first again?

NEVERENDING STILL EVEN MORE SEX SEX SEX... Jokes

Define: fellatio.
A taste of things to come.

What do they call pussy eaters in London?
English muffins.

How can you tell if your date went really well?
You have stretch marks on your tongue.

If God hadn't meant the pussy to be eaten,he wouldn't have made it look like a taco.

How is a pussy like a grapefruit?
The best ones squirt when you eat them.

Why do men like blowjobs?
Its the only time they get something into a woman's head straight.

What is another name for cunnilingus?
Genital Slurpees.

NEVERENDING STILL EVEN MORE SEX SEX SEX... Jokes

What is the area between the vagina and the anus called?
A chin rest.

Why are cowgirls bowlegged?
Cowboys like to eat with their hats on.

Define "Egghead"
What Mrs. Dumpty gives to Humpty.

Why did God give men penises?
So we'd have at least one way to shut a woman up.

How is a blowjob like a lobster?
They're both very nice, but you don't get either at home.

AND NOW.... TIME FOR SEX.... Jokes
AND NOW.... TIME FOR SEX.... Jokes

Best Buddies

Bubba and Leroy were sitting on the front porch of a trailer house. Leroy says "Bubba, you and me are bestest buddies. If you was gone huntin and I had sex with your wife and she had my baby, would that make us Kin Folk?" Bubba replied " I don't know Leroy, but it would dang shore make us even"

Ketchup and Buns

After every sentence i say you say ketchup and rubber buns.

what did you eat for breakfast? "ketchup & rubber buns."

what did you eat for lunch? "ketchup & rubber buns."

what did you eat for dinner? "ketchup & rubber buns."

what do you do when you see a hot girl? "ketchup & rubber buns."

YOU WHERE RUBBING MY girlfriend'S WHAT?!?!

Who's the most popular male at a nudist colony?
The one who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen doughnuts.

What cums first

A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken takes out a cigarette and begins to smoke. The egg, pissed off, takes one look at the chicken, rolls over and pulls the blanket over him and says, "I guess we answered that question

NEVERENDING STILL EVEN MORE SEX SEX SEX... Jokes

Hey girl, were you born on a chicken farm? Because you sure know how to raise a cock.

Eye Surgery

Once upon a time, a doctor performed surgery on a young boy with an eye defect. After the surgery was done, he said to the parents, ""Your son is going to be just fine. We graphed some skin from his scrotum to widen his lid. He should have 20/20 vision when he wakes up." The parents responded, "So his eye is going to be normal?" "Well, like I said, his vision will be normal but he may be a little c*ck-eyed."

Doctor Visit

A 96-year old man is pleading with the doctor for a lower sex drive. "Surely you're imagining things," says the doctor. "You're 96 years old. Isn't all the feeling for sex just in your head?" "Yes," replies the elderly man, "that's why I want you to lower my sex drive to the place where it might do more good."

NEVERENDING STILL EVEN MORE SEX SEX SEX... Jokes

Vet Doctor

A Doctor while examining an old retired Army vet, "when was the last time you had sex?"
with a long pause the vet replies."1955 i believe"
Doctor: "Whoa! Its been a long while then ?"
Vet: Its only 20:15 right now?

Call Me

So you've all probably seen these commercials for the erectile dysfunction drugs. They say a possible side effect could be an erection lasting for four hours, and if that happens, call your doctor. I say, "Hey buddy, if that happens, don't call your doctor, call me!"

Retirement

Two women are discussing life in the retirement village they live in with their spouses and how they like it. One woman tells the other that she misses sex though to which the other replies that her and her hubby still have sex whenever she wants. The first woman asks how and the second woman says every so often when he's in the bathroom getting ready for bed she gets naked and lays on the bed holding her legs up in the air so when he comes out he can't help but have sex with her. The first woman decides to try this a couple of weeks later. Her husband is in the bathroom getting ready for bed so she gets naked, lays down and struggles to get one leg up and then the other as she's holding them shakily. Her husband comes out and exclaims, "Good Lord woman, put in your teeth and brush your hair....you're starting to look like an asshole!"

NEVERENDING STILL EVEN MORE SEX SEX SEX... Jokes

Park bench

Three old women were sitting on a park bench. A flasher ran up and whipped open his coat. Two of the old ladies had a stroke and the third couldn't reach.

Yes Professor

A professor is lecturing a class and says, "Today's lecture will be about glucose. Glucose is sugar and can be found in lots of stuff. For example, semen, candy, etc." A blonde girl responds with, "How come you can't taste sugar in semen?" The professor says, "Well, sweety, that's because you don't have taste buds in the back of your throat."

NEVERENDING STILL EVEN MORE SEX SEX SEX... Jokes

Worn out yet? Guess it's time for a break.... But, don't worry, I'm sure there'll be more cumming soon....

And, just to keep that dirty mind from getting rusty:

NEVERENDING STILL EVEN MORE SEX SEX SEX... Jokes

As always, hope you enjoyed.... And thanks for reading ♥️

"Brainsbeforebeauty"😘

1 15

Most Helpful Guys

  • Pierre, the fighter pilot, was having a picnic with his girl on the banks of the Seine. Leaning back, she tiled her face towards his and said "Kiss me, Pierre". So he pulls out a bottle of Beaujolais and splashes it onto her lips. "Pierre," she giggles, "what are you doing?"
    "I am Pierre, the fighter pilot! When I have red meat, I have red wine!" he says, and they fall to smooching. Soon things start heating up, and she pulls open her shirt and says "Pierre, kiss me lower." So he opens a bottle of Riesling and splashes it on her breasts. "Pierre," she says "what are you doing?"
    "I am Pierre, the fighter pilot! When I have white meat, I have white wine!" And he sets to nuzzling. Passion builds, and she says "Ooh, Pierre... Kiss me lower!" and hikes up her skirt. Pierre pulls out a bottle of cognac, empties into her lap, and tosses in a lit match. She screams, leaps up from the blanket and dives into the river. Rising to the surface, she shouts in fury "PIERRE! WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?" To which he responds "I am Pierre, the fighter pilot! When I go down, I go down in FLAMES!"

    • Omfg that had me in stitches loved that one... If do another take, you should let me use that one, and give you credit for it... Thanks for the early morning laugh 🤣🤣🤣🤣

    • By all means- use it in good health. Or if your health's not so good; laughter's good for that.

    • Isn't that the truth lol and that really did make me laugh lolol

  • Lol all were good..

    The best one I like washow is pussy like a grapefruit - the best ones squirt when you eat them lol 😂😂😂

    • 🤣🤣🤣 glad you liked... So if you get lonely... Eat a grapefruit 🤣🤣🤣

    • Now everytime I eat grapefruit I'll laugh before I eat... And it would be so embarrassing to say why that laugh 😅😅😅

    • Lol right... Better "eat it" when you alone 🤣🤣

    • Show All

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What Girls & Guys Said

2 18
  • Damn, bbb. I never heard any of those. So funny! Your jokes make my day.

    I love your disclaimer. "The views and opinions expressed in these jokes are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of [me]." LOL

    One of them brought an old joke to mind. What's the difference between 69 and 77? With 77 you get ate more.

    • 🤣🤣🤣77 sounds good lol 🤣

  • LoL it cracks me up how many jokes you have. A woman with a guys sense of humor is amazing.

    • Thanks 🙂 a bored woman with Google ain't no joke 🤣🤣 lolol

    • Going hard on the paint on this topic 🤣

    • Can never have too much sex... Jokes either 🤣🤣

    • Show All
  • Haha ma'am You are so funny sexy on here. Are you this great off line too?

    • 🤔 I'd say yes but I may be biased 😅🤣

    • Haha! Your great ma'am! We need more people like you in this world keeping people laughing. I sure hope that you are not totally biased! ;)

    • Lol thanks 🤗🤗

  • Brains, as always you're amazing...

    • Lol thanks 🙂🤗

  • Lol damn,

    • 😅🤣🤣

  • How do you make a waterbed more bouncy? Add spring water.

    • Lol funny

    • I have more but they blonde, racist, and everything that's "BAD" today. I just might post them under I don't give a darn

    • Anyways

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  • Another outstandingly awesome collection - love how you organize these - and perfect for a late Sunday night read :) They are all great but that chalkboard one was top notch :)

    • Lol thanks

  • These are absolutely hilarious!!!

    • Lol thanks 🙂🤗

  • Anymore sex jokes lol @Brainsbeforebeauty

    • Lol if this was the first you've read, there's a lot of them I did already... It's the weekend tho, do maybe another may cum🤔 we'll see 🤣🤣🤣🤣 but if you wanna check the others you can find em on the sexuality under mytakes or on my profile under my mytakes...**warning** there's a lot of them 🤣🤣

    • @Brainsbeforebeauty let me know if this is too far but your jokes probably would make me cum😆😆

    • 🤣🤣🤣

  • 😑 Not funny. Some of these jokes are around 15-20 years old or more. Some of these jokes I remember hearing back in 7th or 8th grade.

    • Just shows how old you are on Girlsaskguys, isn't there a Grandpasaskgrannys for your age?

    • @Bernys777 There are people who gave their opions on here older than me. The one who asked the or in other words posted the jokes is 10 years older than me. Why was I the only one you replied saying "Just shows how old you are on Girlsaskguys, isn't there a Grandpasaskgrannys for your age?" There are a lot of people who use this site that are in their 30s, 40s, and 50s.

  • Wt kind of food do u feed a woman to stop sex?
    Wedding cake lol

    • Cool

    • Lol 🙂

  • @Brainsbeforebeauty what does pantyhose and Saddam Hussein have in common

    • both have runs?

    • What? Lol was she right? Lmao

    • No they both irritate Bush!

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  • 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 oh fuck...🤣🤣🤣🤣

    • Lmao... What 🤷🏼‍♀️🤣

    • That's funny...

    • Don't you what me LMBO

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  • LOL! Great as usual - thanks!!

    • 🙂🤗 thanks!

  • I had a good laugh🤣🤣🤣.
    But why is this take 5 days old and I saw it only now?

    Wish that call me joke also provided a number 😝

    • 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • That's not just funny it's educational too! Never noticed that pussy looks like taco.
    Can you put the same stuff in there?

    • 🤣🤣🤣 yeah wouldn't suggest it lmao

    • 😂😂😂😂

  • Awesome

    • Lol thanks 🙂

    • It's a pleasure for no need of thanks

    • 🙂🤗

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  • Ahaan again a nice one... Love your posts🤟🤟 cheers

    • Lol thanks

  • Hhhhh Damm

    • 🤣🤣 glad you enjoyed 🙂🤗

  • Ohh sex with grandpa is wonderful

    • 🤣🤣🤣 lmao

    • What is the imao? 🤔 tell me please

    • LMAO means “laughing my ass off”.

    • Show All