So, ready for another Sunday funday sex joke take? Well, ready or not... Here they cum 🤣(sounds like guys)
Again, these jokes are only meant in fun... None of these jokes represent my personal views or opinions.
Should we get oral first again?
Define: fellatio.
A taste of things to come.
What do they call pussy eaters in London?
English muffins.
How can you tell if your date went really well?
You have stretch marks on your tongue.
If God hadn't meant the pussy to be eaten,he wouldn't have made it look like a taco.
How is a pussy like a grapefruit?
The best ones squirt when you eat them.
Why do men like blowjobs?
Its the only time they get something into a woman's head straight.
What is another name for cunnilingus?
Genital Slurpees.
What is the area between the vagina and the anus called?
A chin rest.
Why are cowgirls bowlegged?
Cowboys like to eat with their hats on.
Define "Egghead"
What Mrs. Dumpty gives to Humpty.
Why did God give men penises?
So we'd have at least one way to shut a woman up.
How is a blowjob like a lobster?
They're both very nice, but you don't get either at home.
Best Buddies
Bubba and Leroy were sitting on the front porch of a trailer house. Leroy says "Bubba, you and me are bestest buddies. If you was gone huntin and I had sex with your wife and she had my baby, would that make us Kin Folk?" Bubba replied " I don't know Leroy, but it would dang shore make us even"
Ketchup and Buns
After every sentence i say you say ketchup and rubber buns.
what did you eat for breakfast? "ketchup & rubber buns."
what did you eat for lunch? "ketchup & rubber buns."
what did you eat for dinner? "ketchup & rubber buns."
what do you do when you see a hot girl? "ketchup & rubber buns."
YOU WHERE RUBBING MY girlfriend'S WHAT?!?!
Who's the most popular male at a nudist colony?
The one who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen doughnuts.
What cums first
A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken takes out a cigarette and begins to smoke. The egg, pissed off, takes one look at the chicken, rolls over and pulls the blanket over him and says, "I guess we answered that question
Hey girl, were you born on a chicken farm? Because you sure know how to raise a cock.
Eye Surgery
Once upon a time, a doctor performed surgery on a young boy with an eye defect. After the surgery was done, he said to the parents, ""Your son is going to be just fine. We graphed some skin from his scrotum to widen his lid. He should have 20/20 vision when he wakes up." The parents responded, "So his eye is going to be normal?" "Well, like I said, his vision will be normal but he may be a little c*ck-eyed."
Doctor Visit
A 96-year old man is pleading with the doctor for a lower sex drive. "Surely you're imagining things," says the doctor. "You're 96 years old. Isn't all the feeling for sex just in your head?" "Yes," replies the elderly man, "that's why I want you to lower my sex drive to the place where it might do more good."
Vet Doctor
A Doctor while examining an old retired Army vet, "when was the last time you had sex?"
with a long pause the vet replies."1955 i believe"
Doctor: "Whoa! Its been a long while then ?"
Vet: Its only 20:15 right now?
Call Me
So you've all probably seen these commercials for the erectile dysfunction drugs. They say a possible side effect could be an erection lasting for four hours, and if that happens, call your doctor. I say, "Hey buddy, if that happens, don't call your doctor, call me!"
Retirement
Two women are discussing life in the retirement village they live in with their spouses and how they like it. One woman tells the other that she misses sex though to which the other replies that her and her hubby still have sex whenever she wants. The first woman asks how and the second woman says every so often when he's in the bathroom getting ready for bed she gets naked and lays on the bed holding her legs up in the air so when he comes out he can't help but have sex with her. The first woman decides to try this a couple of weeks later. Her husband is in the bathroom getting ready for bed so she gets naked, lays down and struggles to get one leg up and then the other as she's holding them shakily. Her husband comes out and exclaims, "Good Lord woman, put in your teeth and brush your hair....you're starting to look like an asshole!"
Park bench
Three old women were sitting on a park bench. A flasher ran up and whipped open his coat. Two of the old ladies had a stroke and the third couldn't reach.
Yes Professor
A professor is lecturing a class and says, "Today's lecture will be about glucose. Glucose is sugar and can be found in lots of stuff. For example, semen, candy, etc." A blonde girl responds with, "How come you can't taste sugar in semen?" The professor says, "Well, sweety, that's because you don't have taste buds in the back of your throat."
Worn out yet? Guess it's time for a break.... But, don't worry, I'm sure there'll be more cumming soon....
And, just to keep that dirty mind from getting rusty:
As always, hope you enjoyed.... And thanks for reading ♥️
"Brainsbeforebeauty"😘
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