Did you know that July 18th was "INTERNATIONAL MAKE FUN OF MEN DAY?" ...well, of course you didn't, that's because I just created it! ... lol
So, I know I am going to get in trouble for this anyway, but If you are one of those women haters and are going to falsely take these jokes seriously thinking this is a man hating post by a radical feminist female, please go to another post.
If however, you have a sense of humor and can take being poked fun at like we are all the time, then please stay and have fun with us!
OK, guys lighten up, you know that you all make fun of us as much as possible and tell jokes galore to each other about us. ... now it's our turn to have some fun, so buckle up boys... NO, not your pants, your seat belts... wait... no, your pants too please, OMG! ... lol
Why are sperm banks always so crowded?
Because guys are paid to cum inside.
What is the difference between men and women?
A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need. A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need.
A gorgeous young woman is working at the local Sperm Bank in a large metropolitan city when suddenly a lone gunman wearing a full-face ski mask bursts in, points his gun at her, and tells the young woman, who is holding a freshly drawn bottle of semen, to hurry and drink the specimen down and she won't get hurt.
The woman is both scared and traumatized. Afraid for her life, she opens the bottle and quickly swallows it all down. The gunman removes his mask, revealing himself. To her shock and surprise it is her husband! He smiles and says..."See Melanie, that wasn't as bad as you keep saying it would be, now is it?"
Why don't women blink during sex? ...There isn't enough time.
Why are all dumb blonde jokes one-liners?
So men can remember them.
What did the man kicked out of the sperm bank say?
..."That’s the last time I cum in here!"
What do you call a man with 99% of his brain missing?
Castrated.
A guy walks up to the nurse after completing his task at the Sperm Bank and hands her his specimen.
As he reaches for the exit door, she says..."Come again!" He looks back at her and sighs..."You know, I really wish I could, but that totally drained me for the day!"
What's the downside to cumming on the face of the girl you like?
Having to clean the monitor.
What do a clit, an anniversary, and a toilet have in common?
Men always miss them.
I went to a Sperm bank to make a donation.
I thought I was good looking enough until the medical assistant looked over at me with the cup in my hand and said ..."Beat It"
Why did the pervert cross the road? ...Because he got his dick stuck in the chicken!
What is the only time a man thinks about a candlelit dinner?
When the power goes off.
What is the difference between a man and childbirth?
One can be terribly painful and sometimes almost unbearable while the other is just having a baby.
Some men learn quickly ...while others still argue with a woman
Women dream of world peace, a safe environment, and eliminating hunger. What do men dream of?
Being stuck in an elevator with the Spice Girls.
Why is a man like old age?
They both cum too soon.
There are two times in his life when a man doesn't understand women.
Before marriage, and after marriage.
How can you stop a man from getting into your home?
Replace the door locks with bra fasteners.
What's a man's idea of foreplay?
"You awake?"
Why do men put women on pedestals?
So they can look up their skirts.
How do you know when a man's had an orgasm?
He snores.
Why does a man like going to bed with two women?
So the women will have someone to talk to.
Why don't men know the meaning of fear?
They only know one four-letter word beginning with F.
When's the only time you can change a man?
When he's a baby.
What do you call a man with an opinion? ...Wrong.
How can you tell a man is thinking about sex?
He's breathing.
Man: Fancy a quickie?
Woman: As opposed to what?
Three words to ruin a man's ego..."Is it in?"
How many men does it take to replace one toilet paper roll?
I don't know, it's never happened.
What happens when a man's eyes wonder? ...
I hope you liked my "Naughtiest Jokes About Men" myTake and took it all in fun as it was meant to be, and please up vote it if you did like it, OK? ...I DO LOVE YOU ...REALLY! ...lol
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