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"SUCKDAY" Sunday Sex Jokes (18+content)

SUCKDAY Sunday Sex Jokes (18+content)

Checking my calendar, it's " that time" again....

HAPPY SUCKDAY PEOPLE😎
HAPPY SUCKDAY PEOPLE😎

So going by the day it is thought we'd keep it more oral....

SUCKDAY Sunday Sex Jokes (18+content)

So without further ado, enjoy these jokes..(when oral sex is just talking about it, laugh instead)

Free Drink Price
Two homeless men are devising a plan to get free drinks at a bar. The first one has an idea: "We'll buy a hot dog and stick it down your pants, walk into the bar, get our drinks, drink, and when the bartender asks for his money, you pull down your pants and I suck on the hot dog that you put down there. He'll kick us out, and we won't have to pay. It's brilliant!" The second man agrees and they do this in the first bar where it works just as planned. Then they hit up 4 more bars and the first man says, "This is great, getting all these free drinks!" The other man replies, "Yeah, especially because the hot dog fell out at the first bar."🀣

You suck it, but what do you "call" it?

What To Call A Penis
At a government affair, the wives of four world leaders are chatting about how people refer to a penis in their countries. The wife of Tony Blair says in England people call it a gentleman, because it stands up when women are entering. The wife of Boris Yeltsin says in Russia you call it a patriot, because you never know if it will hit you on the front or on the back side. The wife of Chirac says in France you call it a curtain, because it goes down after the act. With great resignation, the wife of Clinton says in the USA you call it a rumor, because it goes from mouth to mouth.πŸ˜‚

SUCKDAY Sunday Sex Jokes (18+content)

Grandparent Oral Sex
This young fellow is about to be married, and is asking his grandfather about sex. He asks how often you should have it. His grandfather tells him, "When you first get married, you want it all the time, and maybe you'll do it several times a day. Later on, sex tapers off, and you have it once a week or so. Then as you get older, you have sex maybe once a month. When you get really old, you are lucky to have it once a year, like maybe on your anniversary." The young fellow then asks his grandfather, "Well how about you and grandma now?" His grandfather replies, "Oh, we just have oral sex now." "What's oral sex?" The young fellow asks. "Well, she goes to bed in her bedroom, and I go to bed in my bedroom. She yells, 'Screw you,' and I holler back, 'Screw you too!'"

SUCKDAY Sunday Sex Jokes (18+content)

When you get old in the hips,
You gotta be young in the lips.

How does eating pussy differ from driving in the fog?
Eating pussy, you can see the asshole in front of you.

When does a cub become a boy scout?
When he eats his first Brownie.

SUCKDAY Sunday Sex Jokes (18+content)

Two Hookers

Two hookers were on a street corner. They started discussing business, and one of the hookers said, "Gonna be a good night, I smell cock in the air." The other hooker looked at her and said, "No, I just burped."

SUCKDAY Sunday Sex Jokes (18+content)

The Bird of True Love
Q: If the bird of wisdom is an owl, and the bird of peace is the dove, what is the bird of TRUE love?
A: The Swallow.

Bar "Job"

A guy is hanging out in his favorite bar when he spots a fabulous babe walking in on the arm of some ugly man. He asks the bartender about her and is surprised to discover that she's a prostitute. He watches her the rest of the night, amazed that someone so attractive could be available to him. The next night he goes back to the bar, and sure enough she shows up again, only this time alone. The guy gets up his nerve and approaches her. "Is it true you're a prostitute?" "Why, sure, big boy. What can I do for you?" "Well, I dunno. What do you charge?" "I get $100 just for a handjob. We can negotiate from there." "$100!! For a handjob? Are you nuts?" "You see that Ferrari out there?" The guy looks out the front door, and sure enough there's a shiny new Ferrari parked outside. "I paid cash for that Ferrari with the money I made on handjobs. "Trust me, it's worth it." The guy mulls it over for a while, and decides what the hell. He leaves with her, and gets the most unbelievable experience he's ever had. This handjob was better than any complete sexual experience in his miserable life. The next night he's back at the bar, waiting eagerly for her to show up. When she does, he immediately approaches her. "Last night was incredible!" "Of course it was. Just wait till you try one of my blowjobs." "How much is that?" "$500" "$500!?! C'mon, that's ridiculous!" "You see that apartment building across the street?" The guy looks out front at a 12 story apartment building. "I paid cash for that building with the money I made on blowjobs. Trust me, it's worth it." Based on the night before, the guy decides to go for it. He leaves with her, and once again is not disappointed. He nearly faints - twice. The next night he can hardly contain himself until she shows up. I'm hooked, you're the best! Tell me, what'll it cost me for some pussy?" She motions for him to follow her outside. She points down the street, where between the buildings he can see Manhattan. "You see that island?" "Aw, c'mon! You can't mean that!" She nods her head. "You bet. If I had a pussy, I'd own Manhattan.

SUCKDAY Sunday Sex Jokes (18+content)

Once again, hope you enjoyed...

Thanks for reading πŸ’œπŸ’œ

"Brainsbeforebeauty"😘

"SUCKDAY" Sunday Sex Jokes (18+content)
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Most Helpful Girl

  • 19magic
    Bloody hilarious, especially love the bar job one,

    It's a couples 60ith anniversary and the wife said tot he husband I'll do anything you want as a present.
    The husband (who never before experienced a blowjob before) asks for one.
    So she looked at him for a moment and says okay and down she goes, he loved it and went off like a cannon.
    In return love I'll give you anything you want.
    She turns to him mouth full of cum and says give me a kiss

    Now do you know where this joke comes from 😂

    Another one I like:
    A man walks up to a shop and on the menu there's a chicken sandwich, a ham sandwich and a hand job, he goes inside and there's an attractive blonde behind the counter.
    Man: are you the one giving out the handjobs
    Blonde: *she looks at him and smiles coyly* Why yes I am
    Man: Well, go and wash your hands then before making me a chicken sandwich
    Is this still revelant?

Most Helpful Guy

  • Dargil
    Q What’s the definition of trust?
    A Two cannibals giving each other blowjobs.

    Q What does a blowjob from a 80 year old and Bungee jumps have in common?
    A You feel the rush but don’t look down

    Q: What's the difference between a penis and a bonus?
    A: Your wife will always blow your bonus!

    Q: Why is being in the military like a blowjob?
    A. The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel.

    Q: Why did the woman smile when she walked down the marriage aisle?
    A: She realized she gave her last blowjob.

    Q: What's the best thing about a blow job?
    A: The ten minutes of silence!

    Q: What's better than a rose on your piano?
    A: Tulips on your organ. .

    Q: How do you know if your boyfriend has a high sperm count?
    A: You have to chew before you swallow!
    Is this still revelant?

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What Girls & Guys Said

123
  • Lliam
    I love it, bbb! 🤣🤣🤣 Those were great, but "Training pussy eaters at home since 1919." ROFL Priceless.

    A little boy wakes up three nights in a row when he hears a thumping sound coming from his parents bedroom. Finally, one morning he goes to his mom and says, "Mommy, every night I hear you and daddy making noise and when I look in you're bouncing up and down on him."

    His mom is taken by surprise and says. "Oh... well I'm bouncing on his stomach because he's fat and that makes him thin again."

    The boy says, "That won't work."

    His mom says, "Why?"

    The boy replies. "Because the lady next door comes by after you leave each day and blows him back up!"
    ************************************
    A woman recently lost her husband. She had him cremated and brought his ashes home. Picking up the urn that he was in, she poured him out on the counter.

    She started talking to him, and tracing her fingers in the ashes, she said, "You know that fur coat you promised me Irving?"

    She answered by saying, "I bought it with the insurance money!"

    She then said, "Irving, remember that new car you promised me?"

    She answered again saying, "Well, I bought it with the insurance money!"

    Still tracing her finger in the ashes, she said, "Irving remember that blow job I promised you?

    Here it comes..."
    ***********************************
    What's the difference between your paycheck and your dick?

    You don't have to beg your wife to blow your paycheck!
    **************************************
    A blond was waiting at the hospital donation center when a man walked in and sat down.

    Man: "What are you doing here today?"

    Blond: "Oh, I'm here to donate some blood. They're going to give me $5 for it."

    Man: "Hmm, that's interesting. I'm here to donate sperm, myself. But they pay me $25."

    The blond looked thoughtful for a moment and they chatted some more before going their separate ways.

    A week later, the same man and woman meet again in the donation center.

    Man: "Oh, hi there! Here to donate blood again?"

    Blond: [shaking her head with mouth closed] "Unh unh."
  • Let me tickle Your Cloister While I rock your Jigglypuffs my onix is gonna rock your world, Your ex doesn't stand ghost of a chance while I show why I chose you.

    I hope you like pokemon sexpuns lol
  • TCredo
    Another outstanding one here Toots! Thanks for putting it together. I swear these are great Sunday... sorry... Suckday... night reads as relaxing ahead of the work week. Lots of funny ones here :)
  • Anno2
    -Been to the gynecologist today and he said we can't have sex for two weeks

    -So what did the dentist say?
  • snowboarder720
    LOL! I like how the first words I read was β€œwell it’s that time again” like you just checked your watch 😆 these are all goddamn funny
    • Thanks lol and that time again meant cuz done a lot of sex joke takes... 🀣🀣🀣

  • What do you call a prostitute with no legs?

    Cash and carry
    • Aha ha ha ha🀣🀣🀣 that's good one

    • πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ‘

    • 'Brains" Original...
      Q:What's the first thought a woman has when a man says he loves giving oral the most?
      A: Small penis🀣🀣

  • Asman
    Hahahhaha...
    So much funny...
    You made it very funny for me brainbeforebeauty...
    Your jokes specially these are very funny.
    • Thanks internet jokes.. I just pick em and stick em (that's what he said πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚) and find funny memes to match πŸ™‚πŸ™ƒπŸ™‚

    • Asman

      I liked all of them...

    • Thanks lololol

    • Show All
  • captain_voidwalker
    Me and Zapp have slot in common
  • gibgabbs
    I'm orally fixated. I think about eating pussy all the time and would do it without wanting anything back
  • Chiefbenttwig
    I love you. Your twisted wit makes my day. The guys here love your wit as well
    • Lol thanks πŸ™‚ why worry bout being pretty when you can be witty🀣🀣🀣

    • Your wrong. Your a beautiful young woman with a colorful wit & a sharp tongue. I love that in a woman. Can we be friends & poke fun at the world?

    • 🀣🀣 poke fun at the world lololol

  • Finchie40
    Classics , I heard these before but still enjoyed the post
  • tonycar
    Thanks for this, it was fantastic and funny. Needed this today 🤣🤣🤣
  • alance99
    Damn hilarious, you jokes are damn funny and new, keep on making us laugh like this. 🤗😊
    • DISCLAIMER: unless started otherwise, not my original jokes lololol
      Sorry lolol been accused of too much lately, I'm wearing a disclaimer like a name tag..."Hello, my name is",... Disclaimer here.. Then insert name...🀣🀣🀣🀣

    • alance99

      I dont care whose jokes is it, it was posted by you on this website so the credit goes to you and there are negative people everywhere so we should ignore them and keep going strong 😊😊

    • Lol thanks πŸ™‚

  • newfreshstart
    What's the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms?
  • COMMODOREII
    That's crazy 😂
    • πŸ€ͺπŸ€ͺπŸ€ͺ says the guy who wears elephant trunks 🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣jkπŸ€—πŸ€—πŸ€— first they're sour, then they're sweet

    • You know they say oral is better with an older woman.
      Because she's all gums!! πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

    • 🀣🀣🀣

  • lazermazer
    Damn that's hilarious take. Adding as bookmark.
    • Lolol thanks there's a lot more of them I didπŸ˜‡πŸ€£

    • Would love to read, could you give me the link?

    • If you go to my profile page and look under my mytakes they're all there or also under the sexuality topic under mytakes... That way you can read the ones you want and cuz that'd be a lot of links cuz there's a lot of them lololol

  • NightOwl8801
    Hahaha I needed a good laugh
    • Glad you got a chuckle πŸ™‚ laughter can be good medicine πŸ€ͺπŸ™‚

  • simplelikeme
    🤣🤣🤣🤣
  • Chris_u006
    Daaaaaayumn sis! Entertaining mytake!
  • Jerre
    Very, very good. Thank you for the laughs
  • Jessie2019
    That's funny
  • sexopat31
    Nice ;) I liked.
  • msc545
    Very funny - thanks!!
  • Oric5
    This place is your life
    • Glad you fixated enough to care 🀣🀣🀣🀣

    • I find it funny tho, that out of all the people that post/are on here daily you singling me out like I have no life... Have enough of one not to have to try to attack someone online for no reason, can YOU SAY the same πŸ€” so think YOU THE ONE need to get a life 🀭🀭

    • Oric5

      Fixated... no... bombarded yes

    • Show All
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