Sexual Relationships
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The reasons why I think most of women don't want to get too sexually comfortable with long term boyfriend or husband.

The reasons why I think most of women dont want to get too sexually comfortable with long term boyfriend or husband.

Reason 1: Because it's forever.

Let's face it. If I down down on my husband and he enjoys it which he of course will, what you think is going to happen? He'll ask it every time we decide to have sex for rest of our life until one of us eventually dies. It's not what I and most of women want. I usually want to try things, but only foe short period of time. However, with one night stand or for short term relation, I know it's only one time thing, once we're done with each other we don't have to see each other

Reason 2 : We really want that image of our self in mind of someone we truly love.

This might not make any sense to lot of guys but we really do want to have a slutty image for a long time. I do not want my husband to see me with cum all over my face, I really don't. Specially because we are going to be together forever and he's going to be father of my kids. I don't want him to think that he's giving birth to his kids with some slut.

Reason 3: Being a wife is lot more work than being a girlfriend.

As a wife, to take care of house, job, laundry, food and all the other important things in EXHAUSTING. There's no way no can have energy for sex after taking care of everything. But as a girlfriend, we don't have to do anything. Sex is literally the only way to pass time. And eventually the boredom of vanilla sex gets you to do whatever the crazy things we watch in movie.

Reason 4: To be honest, giving away sex to hubby is not really a good strategy

I know all you guys are going to disagree with me here but trust me. We know you better than you know yourself. And I see it all the time, I seems like only way to keep Mr. Hubby down to earth is to withdraw sex for few days and that's the only way to get things done. If I'll do every crazy thing with him, he'll eventually get bored of me and I'll loose all of my non existential mystery.

Reason 5: Most of my boyfriends never took permission.

This one might sound crazy or maybe borderline rape but it's not and I'm sure every guy can relate to it. Hubby cannot force himself on me, so that's one advantage woman have, and if he does he'll be in big trouble because no wife will let it go without telling each and every relative and friend about him. And it's a good thing. In that way husband and wife respect each other's space. But when it comes to ONS or short term boyfriend, they usually don't have consequences of forcing themselves on us, in a good way of course, And I personally used to love it. One of my boyfriend literally used to wake me up sometimes by slapping his dick on my face and no matter how annoyed I was or how angry it made me, I usually used to end up going down on him in shower right after a silly fight.

But for god's sake I cannot allow my husband the same freedom. I don't think any women would be stupid enough to sign for that thing. Imagine waking up every morning and first thing you see is a dick.

Reason 6: Husband's have duty to take care of his wife and respect her, but boyfriends don't.

That's it. Husbands are suppose to take responsibility, that's the reason I chose to marry. And boyfriends on other hand, they are just practice husbands. It's just a demo of married life with extra benefits.

The reasons why I think most of women dont want to get too sexually comfortable with long term boyfriend or husband.

Reason 7: Guys who are int one night stand and short terms take care of themselves.

It's not my fault. Most of husbands are just lazy and very low on energy. I literally think that he should be lucky I'm sleeping next to him. It's just impossible to be aroused by such a man. But ONS's are different, It's actually opposite. They are so big and intimidating they it's impossible tot say NO to them. Is it even possible to to say no to them? I don't think so. And like I previously said, this kind of guys don't usually ask, they just take it. All I can do is realized net morning that I've made a mistake.

That's it. I hope everyone will understand it and learn from it. Being a wife is totally different and mostly opposite than being a girlfriend.

2 3

Most Helpful Guy

  • Good take. Lots of insight here, but why marry a man that doesn't get you aroused? That's probably the saddest thing about what you said.

    • I agree. It's very sad and maybe therefore everyone is blaming me in comment section and misinterpreting my statements. I just gave reason why ONS/short term relationships are different than marriage. I never said "It has to be this way". Thanks for not twisting my words and blaming me.

    • You know it's easy to misinterpret what you're saying. It does sound a little bit like "Married men suck" I think I understand you though. Marriage can seem like a bad deal for women, and I think typical husbands are portrayed as unfit, lazy, and boring. That's not always the case, but it does seem common enough to disincentivize marriage for women. At least in terms of sexual satisfaction.

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  • I'm goona give you one compliment (and that's the only one you're going to get from me)... you have great taste in men, physically. Love that photo you chose.

    Other than that, you sound like a sociopath.

    I'm embarrassed you're part of my same gender.

    You know what's going on here? You are this way, you think this way (selfish to the core), and so you think that there are many other girls just like this. If you really felt to strongly, had so much conviction, you wouldn't be anon'ing this.

    You do not speak for me, you do not speak for @brainsbeforebeauty but granted, we are not of your generation. I can just tell. You are young. And I am not about to defend a person or a generation who doesn't have the guts to show, at the very least, an avatar.

    Which begs the question, why did you write this? What's your motive? You have one. What do you want from the men (besides attention)?
    Are you even pink? You being a male and spoofing is not at all out of the question here. It would explain a lot.

    • "You know what's going on here? You are this way, you think this way (selfish to the core), and so you think that there are many other girls just like this. If you really felt to strongly, had so much conviction, you wouldn't be anon'ing this." Where did I say "many other girls do this?" I've repeatedly said I'm just giving reasons which I think are true. You do not speak for me, you do not speak for @Brainsbeforebeauty but granted, we are not of your generation. I can just tell. You are young. And I am not about to defend a person or a generation who doesn't have the guts to show, at the very least, an avatar. One day hopefully, I will show avatar when people will actually have ability to read what I wrote instead of misinterpreting. "Which begs the question, why did you write this? What's your motive? You have one. What do you want from the men (besides attention)?" I started the post by saying, "the reasons I think..." I think... I THINK... Doesn't it make sense why I wrote the post? And what do you mean by motive? No one takes life advice from gag. Relax lady. It's just post about what I think. "Are you even pink? You being a male and spoofing is not at all out of the question here. It would explain a lot." What would it explain?

  • Don't speak for all women. This is just sad and you're crazy for making such a differentiation between boyfriend/girlfriend and husband/wife. This is why so many people have a hard time commiting these days. They think their lives will be over when they get married. Honestly, it looks like you got stuck in an unhappy marriage and are trying to justify your ways to the world. Just get a divorce.

  • So, what's the over-under on this marriage blowing up in the next six months?

    • I say -4

    • Immediately after his next promotion And a new car.

    • Definitely a blue user... Smh

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  • This whole take is exactly why relationships are on the decline and hookups are on the rise.. I can't believe someone really thinks this way much less put it in print... So you will give more to a man who cares nothing about you for other than just sex, but will deny that for a man who loves you.

    • It submitted before I was ready. Sex is not supposed to be used to get your husband to do things for you. It is supposed to be two people sharing the physical side of their love. A marriage based on what you described above, will never survive, not happily.

    • This is the way a some women are. It's backwards but it has to do with the kinds of men they hook-up with vs the kinds of guys they marry. It's the difference between validational vs trans-actional sex. When they hook-up with a guy, it's because they feel strong attraction to him. They have sex with this guy purely for the pleasure. That's validational sex. A woman who marries a guy she feels strong attraction to will do be like this anyway, and that's obviously a healthier marriage. But these types of women, when they're older in particular, often feel like they can't get that kind of guy anymore, they settle for a guy they're less attracted to but is more stable. The "safe" guy. Because the sexual attraction isn't as strong she doesn't feel as motivated to give the guy her best in the bedroom. In fact sometimes sex becomes more like a chore to these women over time, something they "give" to the man to keep him around or to get him to do things for her as you say. It's sex in exchange for something - trans-actional. Trans-actional sex is never the same as validational sex because it's one-sided. And yeah, these marriages usually fail or they stay miserably, as they grow to resent each other over time.

    • @Barbaric then people just shouldn't get married. And drag kids into that. .

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  • There's only so many man whores because there are the girls to cater to, I mean unless all the manwhores are gay of course. I'm not one for marriage, I do believe that people change for the worse once signed as its so much harder to break up, however I still don't think like you. You said that people are twisting your words, when it's obvious this isn't a humour take but rather your persoanl view. I can't tell if your a jaded bloke or actually a girl. All I know if I ever get married I want to tlbe the sexiest thing in that guys life, I want to fill out all his fantasies just as I'd like to fill out all of mine with him, no matter how kinky it all gets. Yes marriage is about compromise but This sounds like you wouldn't even try

    • "You said that people are twisting your words, when it's obvious this isn't a humour take but rather your persoanl view." Exactly, that's my personal view. "All I know if I ever get married I want to tlbe the sexiest thing in that guys life, I want to fill out all his fantasies just as I'd like to fill out all of mine with him, no matter how kinky it all gets. Yes marriage is about compromise but This sounds like you wouldn't even try" That's exactly how things should be. I never even talked about people who don't feel any difference in short term and long term relationship. I'm just giving reasons for woman who feel the difference.

  • So basically, don't ever ever marry a woman like you because you will be fucked over and get nothing from it while giving everything to her, got it.

  • Wow. This is like a top 10 list of worst relationship advice ever! LoL.

  • You expect more from your husband but give him less in return xD all I can say if that you should not get married, and if you do then just own who you are and marry one of the guys you have a ONS with. If you marry a man you view as husband material, you'll just be dooming the both of you to a life of misery until you inevitably divorce either after one of you finds out about the others cheating (you'll both be cheating, you say "he's lucky I sleep next to him", and "its impossible to say no to a ONS", you'll cheat like a slut, and he'll either find out and leave you or he'll get lonely and start cheating too.), if somehow you get through raising kids without either of you catching the other cheating, n your kids will he raised in a broken hom where they know something is wrong between their mother and father, constant fighting, not a proper family structure because you both have your emotions invested outside the household. Then when your kids leave you'll divorce because by that point the kids will be the only reason either of you could stand each other.

    It's okay, when I get married I'm gunna just half ass everything because I dont want her expecting me to be responsible all the time for the rest of my life. It's too much work to be aggressive in bed everytime we have sex, so I'll just lay on my back and let her do all the work that way she doesn't expect me to take control everytime. *sarcasm*

    Imho you should be a slut with your husband, you should feel sexually open with him and him with you, such things actually bring you closer together, which is why people in the past almost exclusively had sex inside of marriage. Lady in the streets, freak in the sheets.

    • You're lucky there are a lot of simps out there cause any self respecting man wouldn't marry you if that's how you want to be in marriage.

  • Just really glad im not in a relationship with you. Are you married or did you enter into a sexual contract? Do you even love this man it really doesn't sound this way it sounds like your using sex as a way to manipulate him.

    I get sex doesn't happen all the time in married life due to pregnancy work responsibilities etc. And I even kinda follow your reasoning when it comes to "not wanting to look like a slut" to the father of your children. I get it.

    But basically your saying all the fun sex should just be for one night stands and once your married sex is just a tool to motivate a husband and make sure he keeps making the house payment.

    That seems extremely unfair and cruel. You mean to tell me if your husband wanted to try something kinky with you you wouldn't even consider it?

    Im just really glad im not in a relationship with you it sounds like emotional abuse.

  • I think if you go a little deeper. And more detailed you could write a must read before you get married book for women and men and couples ur open minded your real a little kink is good lol ,,, hey it's a new world out there give it a try

  • "But as a girlfriend, we don't have to do anything. Sex is literally the only way to pass time." Or you could watch a movie together, play video games, have intellectual discussions, etc. There are more pleasures to life than just sex.

    • Yes. This particular take was only about intimate part. There are so many things in life to enjoy.

  • Your husband (or future husband) has a whole lot of porn and jacking off in his future. What a joke.

  • Oh no girl you got this all wrong. You'll end up divorced so fast if you acutally think all this shit. I dont know any guy that wants to be rejected from sex all the time. They want a wife that will be there own personal slut. And also most guys aren't gonna get bored of sex just because you've done everything crazy with them. I truly hope this post is a joke cause it ain't gonna be helpful to anyone

    • Absolutely correct

    • their

    • @Jamie05rhs haha thanks for the grammar correction

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  • You're low value.

    • Thank you, Captain Obvious.

    • @Jamie05rhs it's good to remind them occasionally ☝️

    • Ummm.. okay?

  • You are best not to get married period , your insight on marriage is just rotten and wrong to do to someone , especially if you are already planning on cheating on your husband to fulfill your slut passion and using sex as a weapon against him by putting limits on it on when you should give him sex? That isn’t love that is selfishness , so what’s the point of getting married to someone if you already plan to do these things? You will never experience love you will experience disaster You are best to just stay single and be a slut

    • I replied to other comment with proof that 70% of divorce are initiated by woman and 90% of time husband is the one who loose his wealth, almost about 60%. SO if anything you should be thankful that I won't just marry someone and take away half of his everything and leaving that man in misery all his life.

    • All I am saying you shouldn’t get married at all if you are going to base your relationship off of statistics, , don’t believe everything you read most of those statistics are made up bullshit reading material , be better then that be the other percentage that doesn’t cheat and values love and marriage , love only comes when you remove selfishness , treat your partner the same way you want to be treated , love the same way you want to be loved , when you do all those things in a relationship it will be a very slim chance you end up in divorce court

    • You have NO saying in what I will and will not do. "when you do all those things in a relationship it will be a very slim chance you end up in divorce court" Finally, you got my point.

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  • I'd be amused if you get a husband that doesn't like having sex or prefers masturbation.

  • Asker: you seem like a very lazy and unmotivated person. Nearly all your points are tailored to your own gratification at the expense of his. I've dated a few women with your perspective, and they make no better girlfriends than they do wives. ONS's are all you have, and you will realize after you will end up all alone- old, fat, and I would say miserable, but it seems like you are already there on the misery.

    Please don't reproduce.

  • I don't see much in there about what's in it for the guy. Would you rather be the hubby, or the ONS in that scenario? I sure don't see any incentive there to seek the long term relationship.

    Look, I get that this view doesn't represent all women. But a few of these thought processes are pretty common. The odds of running into this kind of stuff aren't negligable, or even low.

    • I already replied to one comment with poof that 70% of divorce are initiated by woman and the reasons they do it for. I'm not saying what I shared is 100% right or factual, in fact I even started my post by saying "The reason I think..." It's just my take. But just take a look at all the married people you know and see the data on divorce proceedings. See how wife usual accuse her husband of physical abusive or even rape. What does that tell you?

    • Tells me the same thing as the rest of your case tells me. Textbook case of the bad deal MGTOW don't want or need. But I'm gonna attempt to be fair to the ladies in this particular case and point out that I think you're a guy with a pink account and an axe to grind. Just my opinion, but everything you wrote reads that way.

    • Nice point.

  • I personally have never known that most women think that way I've never sensed that. Actually it has been my opinion that if I make her feel safe and comfortable allowing her to understand the things that turn me on such as you said something about you wouldn't want your husband to see cum on your face... I have total respect for my wife and I've seen cum on her face and actually she enjoy sex more when she's feeling naughty, so we tell stories do different things different positions a lot of its mental so stories tend to help, and by her being comfortable with me then we're open the toys and stories that maybe we wouldn't want to do.

    if I was a woman can somebody slap their dick on my face in the morning, he Wake me up with it cut off

    The best sex is when both partners trust each other and I can be honest they can share the naughty thoughts the dreams embarrass them

    My experience is a woman enjoys herself most for 1 making love second is feeling naughty

    My opinion is I want a slut in the bedroom and a perfect angel in public

    • "I personally have never known that most women think that way I've never sensed that" You don't know that because it does not exist. I never said most of women think this way.

  • Well even though i have the deepest respect for your sincerity, I do find it rather sad to read this.
    I've been married for almost 20 years now.
    And now I gotta shake off these thoughts to avoid me looking at my wife with distrust.
    :(

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