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"Cum In" For More Sex Jokes...(Content for 18+)

Cum In For More Sex Jokes...(Content for 18+)

So I haven't done a sex joke take in awhile, but got the urge πŸ˜‚

So, hope you're "ready" for it cuz here it cuuummmsss.....

Have to warn you though:

Cum In For More Sex Jokes...(Content for 18+)

Sailor

A sailor drops anchor in a port and heads into the nearest pub. Everyone in the pub is whispering and pointing at him because of his odd shaped body; he has a very muscular body, but a very tiny head on his shoulders. As he orders his drink, he tells the bartender, β€œI’ll explain. I get this in every port and town I visit. I caught a mermaid and she granted me three wishes if I would release her back into the sea. So I told her I wanted a yacht and, sure enough, she came through for me. Next, I asked for a million bucks and now I am set for life. Last of all, I asked her if I could have sex with her and her response was, β€˜I don’t know how you can make love to me with your type of body.’ So I asked her, β€˜How about a little head?’”

Penis

A penis has a sad life. His hair is a mess. His family is nuts. His neighbor is an asshole. His best friend is a pussy. And his owner beats him.

What's worse: a man with no money or a small penis?

Both, because you get shorted on both dinner and dessert-unless you like the banana "split" πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

Cum In For More Sex Jokes...(Content for 18+)

Wet Pussy

A fish was swimming around in a pond when he noticed a fly flyin around about six inches above the water. He thought, β€œif that fly drops six inches, I could have myself a nice meal.”

There was a bear watching the fish watching the fly. He thought, β€œif that fly drops six inches, that fish will come up for that fly, and I can catch that fish and have myself a nice meal.”

There was a hunter watching the bear watching the fish watching the fly. He thought, β€œif that fly drops six inches, the fish will get the fly, the bear will go for the fish, and I can shoot the bear and have myself a nice meal.”

There was a mouse watching the hunter watching the bear watching the fish watching the fly. He thought, β€œif that fly drops six inches, the fish will get the fly, the bear will get the fish, the hunter will shoot the bear, drop his sandwich and I can have myself a nice meal.”

There was a cat in a tree watching the mouse watching the hunter watching the bear watching the fish watching the fly. He thought, β€œif that fly drops six inches, the fish will get the fly, the bear will get the fish, the hunter will shoot the bear, drop his sandwich, the mouse will go for the sandwich, and I can catch that mouse and have myself a nice meal.”

Then it all happened

The fly dropped six inches

The fish came up and caught the fly

The bear came out and caught the fish

The hunter got up to shoot the bear and dropped his sandwich

The mouse went for the sandwich

The cat jumped from the tree, missed, and landed in the pond

The lesson that can be learned here is that every time a fly drops six inches, a pussy gets wet.

Cum In For More Sex Jokes...(Content for 18+)

Job

My family chastises me for MY job, but you should hear how my family provides β€œcustomer service” at their jobs. My mother works as a social worker and answers the phone like, β€œDYFS, you beat em, we treat em.” My grandmother is a Medical Examiner and she answers the phone like, β€œCity Morgue, you kill em, we chill em.” These bitches have no class! I’m an actress and studio secretary. When you call the studio, I answer the phone professionally like, β€œGood afternoon. IHOP, International House Of Pussy. Creampie Cassie speaking”.

Cum In For More Sex Jokes...(Content for 18+)

Runaway Pussy

Two lesbians adopted a cat that night the cat ran away why ?

because it heard one say i’m gonna eat that pussy

What does a 90 year old’s pussy taste like?

Depends…

Cum In For More Sex Jokes...(Content for 18+)

Pet names

Three women were sitting around throwing back a few drinks and
talking about their love lives. Tracy said, "I call my husband the
dentist. Nobody can drill like he does."
Cathy giggled and confessed, "I call my husband the miner because
of his incredible shaft."
Dawn quietly sipped her whiskey until Tracy asked, "Say, what do
you call your husband?"
Dawn frowned and said, "The postman."
"Why the postman?" asked Cathy.
"Because he always delivers late, and half the time it's in the
wrong box."

Cum In For More Sex Jokes...(Content for 18+)

Cock

If I had a rooster and you had a donkey and your donkey ate my
rooster's legs, what would have?
Two feet of my cock in your ass.

NewlyWeds

The newlyweds showed up at the hotel and asked for the
honeymoon suite.
"Do you have reservations?" asked the clerk?
"Only one, she won't take it up the ass.

Cum In For More Sex Jokes...(Content for 18+)

I hope you enjoyed... And if you're in a relationship, don't forget to value your sex life, cuz:

Cum In For More Sex Jokes...(Content for 18+)

Thank you for readingπŸ’™β€οΈ

"Brainsbeforebeauty"😘😘

"Cum In" For More Sex Jokes...(Content for 18+)
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Most Helpful Guys

  • ROFL!
    You did it again, bbb. You really had me laughing. That "He said he loves Arby's, too" meme made me spit out my coffee.

    You asked someone if they could guess which one was a bbb original. I'm going to guess "Job". Total crack up. They're all really funny.

    Here's a contribution:
    A woman hasn't had sex with her husband for years so he takes her to the doctor.
    The doctor takes her into the exam room, but he determines that she's healthy and there is nothing physically wrong with her.
    So he asks her what could be preventing her from having sex with her husband.
    She replies, "Well, every morning my husband gives me money for work, but it only covers the first bus fare. So I take a cab the rest of the way and the driver asks, "So do you have money for a ride today, or what?"
    "So I wind up having sex with the cab driver to cover my fare."
    "Then I arrive late for work and my boss calls me into his office and says, "You're late again. Am I going to have to fire you or what?"
    "So I have sex with my boss to keep my job."
    "Then I don't have money for lunch, so that's another "or what" with the cafeteria manager."
    "I come back from lunch late, so that's another "or what" with my boss again."
    "Then I leave to go home, another cab and another "or what".
    "So by the time I get back to my house, I'm just completely exhausted."
    The doctor thinks for a moment. Then he leans back and says, "So, do you want to tell your husband, or what?"
    Is this still revelant?
    • πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ and nope, it was this one:
      What's worse: a man with no money or a small penis?
      Both, because you get shorted on both dinner and dessert-unless you like the banana "split"

    • Lliam

      🀣🀣🀣

    • πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

  • Aakash_Hangargi
    "Cum In" For More Sex Jokes...(Content for 18+)Could you resistor
    Is this still revelant?

Scroll Down to Read Other Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

539
  • TCredo
    Too funny Toots and hit the spot for a Thursday night chill out and laugh time - so thank you for once again putting together a great set of some funny stuff :) "Cum In" For More Sex Jokes...(Content for 18+)
    • Thanks πŸ™‚ and thanks for the funny dance.. But you need to eat, you're getting so skinny you almost look like a stick person πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

    • TCredo

      lol... gotta get the side view lol... and I've got a sexy stick woman on my trail :)

      "Cum In" For More Sex Jokes...(Content for 18+)

    • Well now you look pregnant πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

    • Show All
  • Citizenkirk
    Do you know what the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts are? Beer nuts are a $1.35, dear nuts are under a buck.😝!!!"Cum In" For More Sex Jokes...(Content for 18+)
  • Suraj1711
    Lol. I got another one. Just grab an empy bottle and crush it and ask your friends to say sorry to it. Nothing happend. And then grab the bottle and blow into it. Fully erect. Best way to say sorry to your man is to give a blowjob 😂
  • Yads_Is_Back
    I love that very last pic. That will hit the guys 🤣
  • memer2020
    a little boy kills a butterfly

    dad says " no butter for you kid for two weeks "

    next day the boy kills a honeybee

    dad says "no honey fro you for two weeks "

    next day the mother kills a cockroach

    son says " you gonna say it or shall i break the news "
    • 🀣🀣 lolol

    • memer2020

      there is a darker version of this between a priest and a boy

      the priest after killing a cockroach , the little boy jumps in joy

      but the priest says " nice try child you are still getting it "

      the boy cries as he has to go through it again

    • Yeah I stay away from pedophile... I have a sense of humor, joking about sex, making fun of men and women, but I don't do pedophile jokes cuz there's nothing funny bout that to me

    • Show All
  • Samoht_Sirrom1
    The one titled penis I actually heard when I was 6 or 7 by my girlfriend...

    Followed by "Why are boys smarter then girls?". Two heads are better then one.
  • TaureanBull81
    What you see on public transport 😂😂
    What you see on public transport 😂😂
    • 🀣🀣🀣I loved that... πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ This might start a movement 🀣🀣

    • Haha sex toys matters πŸ˜‰πŸ€©πŸ˜‚πŸ‘Œ

    • Well that I already knew 🀣

  • dreamstar72
    Your jokes were great. The penis joke was the funniest, you should’ve added β€œand his mate tries to suck the life out of him”
  • FruitAndBlueEyes
    These are so funny, I needed to laugh. Thank you for posting them! My favorite was the sailor. They all cracked me up though.
  • Sad life of a pen#s 😂
    And pu##y mileage 😂😂😂
    Yeah air and sex basically the same thing 😂😂😂
  • captain_voidwalker
    The ultimate Christmas savers plan "Cum In" For More Sex Jokes...(Content for 18+)
  • The husband one totally blew my mind for some reason.
  • stuntbrain
    A hillbilly walks in on his sister pleasuring herself with a cucumber and says: HEY... I was gonna eat that! now it's gonna taste like cucumber
  • ALastStand
    I've been so depressed, but now I'm electric happy,. Thanks so much
  • Siavash_1990
    Siavash:<<<<<<Thinks to self while very shocked at the same time: All this time i thought this brainsbeforebeauty was a virgin!!!
    • πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ two kids and a grandson yeah all hail the virgin BBBπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

    • LOL There have been women who gave birth but were believed to be virgins in the history of mankind, no?

    • πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ yep me πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

    • Show All
  • KrakenAttackin
    OMG, well done Brains!

    Hey,

    Why do female paratroopers wear jockstraps?

    So they don't whistle on the way down!
  • smileydrb
    Best dirty jokes in years, thank you for that. Much needed.
    • Thanks that's my I lost count lol when life or people gets irritating, I do a sex joke take so there's a lot of them lololol

    • smileydrb

      That's cool. I for whatever reason can't remember any dirty jokes I once new. Damn

    • I look em up online lol although one in their was my original own joke lol

  • Dave31989
    If you know there are people under 18 on here, why are you posting stuff that is for ONLY over 18?
    • I put that disclaimer there's a lot of sex stuff in this category that should be for 18+

  • Be4rdy
    Got a good joke for you here


    My sex life
  • Femdominna
    LOL, those are the best jokes I've heard this year 😂😂😂
    • Thanks found online well except this one was a "brains" original:
      What's worse: a man with no money or a small penis?πŸ€ͺπŸ€ͺ😁

      Both, because you get shorted on both dinner and dessert-unless you like the banana "split"

    • Hahahaha, yeah, both is bad when you think about it 🀣🀣🀣

    • πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ I just used that cuz there's too much of "women are just after men for their money" πŸ™„πŸ™„ and way too many "does size matter" questions on here lol

  • oualid22
    I didn't read the jokes but I'm sure they're funny..
    I just want to share the experience that I just had.. when I read "cum in" my dick got up and said " Dude !! it's been so long that I haven't come inside a mamacita" and I was like " bro you're so selfish it's not I it's we " and he was like " nah I'm the one who gets that white shit out of me not you " and I was like " yeah but I'm the one who enjoys the feeling of it so if should use it's me so fuck off" and he fucked off...
    So if anyone looking to sell his penis I'm ready to bu... oh no wait he came back but he didn't mess around cause he left without the balls...
    • πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ omg still laughing πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜‚

    • oualid22

      You're not gonna believe but I just came up... oh shit ! Sorry... with it πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

    • oualid22

      Shit it got to the ceiling...

    • Show All
  • HowsNosound
    I thought I've heard it all but I guess not cause that shit was hilarious I'm still lmao
  • jcnum10
    U so silly.
    That's a lot of sex jokes😂

    Yes i know I'm not 18"Cum In" For More Sex Jokes...(Content for 18+)
  • JesseCraft07
    Omg I'm dying 🤣🤣😂😂

    Thank you so much for these sex jones, I really needed this laugh. Again you're always taking care of me when I'm having a hard time.

    THANK YOU!! You're an AMAZING friend, I appreciate you SO much BBB 🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂
  • raven6933
    You are just hilarious and still lmmfao
  • OldSchool_Metalhead
    LMAO. Loved this 😂
  • Bhavin2184
    😂😂😂😂
  • FatherJack
    As a lesbian... I am offended by this post...
  • Chiefbenttwig
    It's about time.
  • COMMODOREII
    My favorite was the wet pussy. 😂
  • newfreshstart
    😆 such a dirty mind you have
  • monkeynutts
    😂 I like the fly dropping joke.
  • Faheem_akhoon
    That was hilarious...
  • CaptainSmartass
    Hehehehe... Classic.

    Simples...
  • NightOwl8801
    Dirty but good fun
  • Valnac
    Nice!
  • Jerre
    Very, very funny. Thanks for the laughs!
  • alance99
    Damn funny 🤣🤣🤣
  • JohnTheGoodMan
    1st time seeing your jokes. Ur jokes are funny 😁
    • Most found online.. One was original joke.. Can you guess which one? πŸ˜…

    • I think that pussy mileage joke was completely new. Because I never heard of it before. I wish there was a real meter to measure how many times a girl took dicks in total. Lol

    • Lololol right.. but then need a dick dip test to see how many times/how many females they dipped it πŸ™ƒπŸ™‚πŸ˜‚

    • Show All
  • mrgspoter
    Oh dear where's this going to go this time?
  • msc545
    Funny mytake - thanks!
  • Unatcomail
    Oknthen
  • Anonymous
    You seemed really opened about sex lol could you message me? I really need an opinion on something that happened
    • I'm sorry I don't private message on here

    • Anonymous

      No problem, brains before beauty after all. It was a question about size anyways so something you probably didn't want to discuss anyways lol

  • Anonymous
    OMG, wet pussy is the best :D
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