Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health 
So I haven't done a sex joke take in awhile, but got the urge 😂
So, hope you're "ready" for it cuz here it cuuummmsss.....
Have to warn you though:
Sailor
A sailor drops anchor in a port and heads into the nearest pub. Everyone in the pub is whispering and pointing at him because of his odd shaped body; he has a very muscular body, but a very tiny head on his shoulders. As he orders his drink, he tells the bartender, “I’ll explain. I get this in every port and town I visit. I caught a mermaid and she granted me three wishes if I would release her back into the sea. So I told her I wanted a yacht and, sure enough, she came through for me. Next, I asked for a million bucks and now I am set for life. Last of all, I asked her if I could have sex with her and her response was, ‘I don’t know how you can make love to me with your type of body.’ So I asked her, ‘How about a little head?’”
Penis
A penis has a sad life. His hair is a mess. His family is nuts. His neighbor is an asshole. His best friend is a pussy. And his owner beats him.
What's worse: a man with no money or a small penis?
Both, because you get shorted on both dinner and dessert-unless you like the banana "split" 😂😂
Wet Pussy
A fish was swimming around in a pond when he noticed a fly flyin around about six inches above the water. He thought, “if that fly drops six inches, I could have myself a nice meal.”
There was a bear watching the fish watching the fly. He thought, “if that fly drops six inches, that fish will come up for that fly, and I can catch that fish and have myself a nice meal.”
There was a hunter watching the bear watching the fish watching the fly. He thought, “if that fly drops six inches, the fish will get the fly, the bear will go for the fish, and I can shoot the bear and have myself a nice meal.”
There was a mouse watching the hunter watching the bear watching the fish watching the fly. He thought, “if that fly drops six inches, the fish will get the fly, the bear will get the fish, the hunter will shoot the bear, drop his sandwich and I can have myself a nice meal.”
There was a cat in a tree watching the mouse watching the hunter watching the bear watching the fish watching the fly. He thought, “if that fly drops six inches, the fish will get the fly, the bear will get the fish, the hunter will shoot the bear, drop his sandwich, the mouse will go for the sandwich, and I can catch that mouse and have myself a nice meal.”
Then it all happened
The fly dropped six inches
The fish came up and caught the fly
The bear came out and caught the fish
The hunter got up to shoot the bear and dropped his sandwich
The mouse went for the sandwich
The cat jumped from the tree, missed, and landed in the pond
The lesson that can be learned here is that every time a fly drops six inches, a pussy gets wet.
Job
My family chastises me for MY job, but you should hear how my family provides “customer service” at their jobs. My mother works as a social worker and answers the phone like, “DYFS, you beat em, we treat em.” My grandmother is a Medical Examiner and she answers the phone like, “City Morgue, you kill em, we chill em.” These bitches have no class! I’m an actress and studio secretary. When you call the studio, I answer the phone professionally like, “Good afternoon. IHOP, International House Of Pussy. Creampie Cassie speaking”.
Runaway Pussy
Two lesbians adopted a cat that night the cat ran away why ?
because it heard one say i’m gonna eat that pussy
What does a 90 year old’s pussy taste like?
Depends…
Pet names
Three women were sitting around throwing back a few drinks and
talking about their love lives. Tracy said, "I call my husband the
dentist. Nobody can drill like he does."
Cathy giggled and confessed, "I call my husband the miner because
of his incredible shaft."
Dawn quietly sipped her whiskey until Tracy asked, "Say, what do
you call your husband?"
Dawn frowned and said, "The postman."
"Why the postman?" asked Cathy.
"Because he always delivers late, and half the time it's in the
wrong box."
Cock
If I had a rooster and you had a donkey and your donkey ate my
rooster's legs, what would have?
Two feet of my cock in your ass.
NewlyWeds
The newlyweds showed up at the hotel and asked for the
honeymoon suite.
"Do you have reservations?" asked the clerk?
"Only one, she won't take it up the ass.
I hope you enjoyed... And if you're in a relationship, don't forget to value your sex life, cuz:
Thank you for reading💙❤️
"Brainsbeforebeauty"😘😘
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