"Gotta Keep Em Cummin"... Sex Jokes

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Yep, I'm "at it again".... Kinda like the Energizer Bunny of sex joke takes 🤣

Ready to get your laugh on?....

ROSES ARE RED, LEMONS ARE SOUR. OPEN YOUR LEGS AND GIVE ME AN HOUR....

How are shark eggs and your mam the same?

They're both the biggest thing ever laid.
Why is baby shampoo the best anal lube?

No more tears.

A little girl goes to see Santa Claus at the local shopping mall. When she arrives and sits down on Santa's lap Santa asks "What do you want for Christmas little girl?".

I want a Barbie and a GI Joe" says the little girl.

"But Barbie comes with Ken" Santa says,

No, Barbie only 'cums' with GI Joe!"

Powerball

Wouldn’t it be funny if the woman on TV pulled out a strand of anal beads from behind and said “And the winning powerball numbers are....”

What is the Hip-hop industry's favourite sex toy?

Beads by Dre.

Who is the greatest?

A BOOB, a VAGINA and an ASSHOLE are debating as to who is the greatest of them all.

BOOB: I give milk to new born babies and I'm attractive to the opposite sex, that's why I'm the greatest.

VAGINA: that's nothing. I give birth to babies and I accommodate the opposite sex, that's why I'm the greatest.

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Why are you scrolling down? It's your turn to speak!🤣🤣

A boy takes his girlfriend home after going out together.

When they reach the front door, he leans against the wall with one hand and says, "Sweetie, why don't you give me a blowjob?"

"What? You're crazy!"

"Don't worry, it will be quick, no problem."

"No!! Someone may see – a relative, a neighbor ..."

"At this time of the night? No one will show up ..."

"I've already said No, and NO!"

"Honey, it's just a small blowie ... I know you'd like it, too ..."

"No! I've said NO!"

"My love ... Don't be like that ..."

At this moment, the girlfriend's younger sister shows up at the door in her nightgown with her hair totally in disorder. Rubbing her eyes, she says, "Dad says either you have to blow him, I have to blow him, or he will come down and give the guy a blowjob himself, but for God's sake, tell your boyfriend to take his hand off the intercom!""

A woman was shaking out a rug on the balcony of her 17th floor condominium when a sudden gust of wind blew her over the railing.

"Damn, that was stupid," she thought as she fell. "What a way to die."

As she passed the 14th floor, a man standing at his railing caught her in his arms. While she looked at him in disbelieving gratitude, he asked, "Do you suck?"

"No!" she shrieked, aghast.

So, he dropped her. As she passed the 12th floor, another man reached out and caught her.

"Do you screw?" he asked.

"Of course not!" she exclaimed before she could stop herself. He dropped her, too.

The poor woman prayed to God for one more chance. As luck would have it, she was caught a third time, by a man on the eighth floor.

"I suck! I screw!" she screamed in panic

"Slut"! he said and dropped her

Hope you enjoyed the jokes... And, for all you that think I got a dirty mind....

Takes one to know one 😉😉

Thanks for reading, cum again soon..

"Brainsbeforebeauty"♥️😘

[Lliam]

I'm always so happy when I see that you posted more sex jokes, bbb.
Some of those you shared in this one absolutely killed.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

🤣🤣🤣 love the Phil Collins one 🤣🤣

[michael1469]

True story...

A wet pussy...

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

🤣🤣🤣🤣 lmao

[laurieluvsit]

Sorry, just got to it - LOVE IT!

How did you create the BBB Bunny? ... That is so cool!!

No, I have no idea who CC is?

I could guess though... how about "Constantly Cumming"? ... lol

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

🤣🤣🤣 these days more counting calories 🤣🤣

[laurieluvsit]

That is hilarious! ... lol ... and I agree! :)

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Mean haven't had sex since like may think it was 🤔

[NyceGuyFinishingLast]

Everything was great except the shark egg joke. Made no sense because they don't lay eggs.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Not true:
There are over 500 species of shark living in waters around the world and the majority give birth to live young. The remainder are oviparous, meaning they lay eggs.
www.nhm.ac.uk/discover/do-sharks-lay-eggs.html

[NyceGuyFinishingLast]

I stand corrected. Thank you for sharing.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

👍👍🙂

[NyceGuyFinishingLast]

Keep the jokes cumming... lol

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Lololol there's lots of other hole takes if haven't seen em before... Done a lot of em lolol

[NyceGuyFinishingLast]

OK cool

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Some pretty funny 😅

[triff]

Young couple were naked in the middle of making love when suddenly something hit their car rolling it down the bank Several hours they awake to find the boyfriend is trapped and needing help The girl pleads with him as she is naked There is a rustle noises and a shoe flies out The boyfriend says I need help cover yourself best you can She chambers up the bank As luck had it a police car was there she plus her arms in Places the shoe over pussy Runs up to the police car Shouting help help my boyfriend is trapped The police both look down at the shoe and say Sorry sweetheart nothing we can do

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

🤣🤣

[Jjpayne]

Disney anal beads 😂 santa giving a little brother 😂 a woman mistaking a straw for a pen#s 😂😂😂 I so want to be there for that moment because that's when it starts to get magical 😂 just hearing her speak logic in That moment would be gold! Any question! 😂 why do we have to wear masks? "So the goblins don't get us, duh" who are you voting for? "Humans, aliens aren't smart enough yet" how are you getting home? "Is my magic carpet out front, can't remember where I left the keys" do you have any friends still here? Well, captain morgan, Jack Daniel's, jose, and samuel adams, are all very nice peoples, they brought me so many drinks"

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

🤣🤣🤣

[Girther10]

Kudos to you, you are awesome in this time and place- we need more of this!🥰🥰

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Thanks 💙🤗

[cjgsu]

These r very funny😂😂😂 u got me with the who is greatest joke😂

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Ok got me the first time saw it too 🤣 had to go up and read and then scroll down for I got it 🤣🤣🤣

[cjgsu]

I was lk did the pg stop loading?

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

🤣🤣🤣

[Anno2]

Morning after: Hey honey do you want your eggs turned or fertilized...

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Lololol omg 🤣🤣🤣

[Nephilim000]

Loved it I needed a good laugh

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Thanks 🙂 glad you enjoyed 💙

[Nephilim000]

Send more please 😂

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

I've done a lot already if you've never read those.. You can find em on my profile under mytakes or under sexuality mytakes 🙂

[Nephilim000]

Sweet I needed something to do

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

That would keep you reading all night lololol

[Nephilim000]

Most definitely you rock

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Thanks, gain any more weight it'll be waddle not rock 🤣🤣🤣

[Nephilim000]

Hahaha I don't know how the apocalypse is treating ya. But I'm so bored I'm gonna try to get more cardio

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Yeah I been working out, me and my daughter work out together by video

[Nephilim000]

That's awesome. I should probably find a workout buddy

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Yeah it's better to keep you motivated.. I used to walk years ago with two neighbors at the highschool track in our neighborhood

[Nephilim000]

That is awesome. My community has a ton of walking paths but everything is more fun with good company

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

That's true... I tried walking at the track at the beginning of the lockdown but without my walking buddies, I didn't stay consistent

[Nephilim000]

Oh totally. The accountability doesn't hurt either I guess.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

👍👍🙂

[jcnum10]

👏🏽👍🏽🦄🦋

[TCredo]

lol another great collection here Toots! Thanks for a great way to soak in a Sunday night. Will say I didn't get the scroll down one at first... had to scroll back up then down then busted out laughing lol... and love that dirty mind pic at the end... what book? :)

Awesome one!

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

So wait you scrolled down twice? 🤔 Does that make you "twice the asshole" 😂😂😂jk and thanks 🙂

[TCredo]

lol... yeah... I guess I am a double butthole :)

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Lololol okay being honest think I did the same thing when first read it so guess I am too 😂

[TCredo]

lol... It actually makes it funnier I think when realize what it meant :)

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Right 👍🙂

[invalid1]

"your turn to speak" 😂😂 killed me. I got one.
One time, the lion in the jungle was gay, he used to hang out with the donkey to get satisfied. So afterwards the donkey had business and had to travel, so the lion comes his place everytime and finds a mouse,
-"mouse! Have you seen the donkey?"
-"No he's travelling, I can satisfy you try me once.
-[sarcastically] oh yeah!. And moves on.

So everyday the lion would visit the place and get the same offer. Until one time he was really fed up and said OK.

He goes with the mouse under a tree, and the mouse starts doing him. One of the monkeys stares down and freaks out "Ah the king of the jungle is gay!" So he throws the cucumber on the lion's head, The lion roars.
Mouse : Shut up bitch!

😂

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Lololol

[AndrewMG]

What do a woman and a bar have in common?
Liquor in the front, poker in the back.

Geez I'm better than this! lol

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Yeah you can do better 🤣🤣

[AndrewMG]

It's late here, you're not getting my best material! lol

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

I'll say lololol jk🙂

[Poppykate]

Lol 😂 I thought it was funny!

[newfreshstart]

@Brainsbeforebeauty these are so funny your a dirty girl

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

You keep reading em so you're a dirty boy 🤣🤣🤣 lolol but.. Thanks for reading 🙂

[newfreshstart]

@Brainsbeforebeauty those jokes made me cum lol jk

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

"Thanks for reading, cum again soon.."... Took that literally did you 🤔🤣🤣🤣

[newfreshstart]

@Brainsbeforebeauty i did lol may i pm you for life advice

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Why can't you ask here?

[newfreshstart]

@Brainsbeforebeauty it's a bit personal has to do with a family member

[newfreshstart]

@Brainsbeforebeauty hows your day

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

👍👍🙂

[Jersey2]

What does a Sorority girl put behind her ears to attract a Fraternity guy? Her ankles. (Told to me by a Sorority girl).

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

🤣🤣👍👍

[Jersey2]

What’s the difference between a bowling ball and a Sorority girl? You can only get three fingers in a bowling ball. (Same Sorority sister told me that, I was a Fraternity brother).

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Sounds like you loved your sorority sisters 🤣😁

[Suryansh8765]

Oh..

[CaptainSmartass]

That was just hilarious...

Simples...

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Thanks 🙂 glad you enjoyed 💙

[alance99]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤗🤗 damn funny.
Keep on entertaining us

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

I'll try to"keep it" cummin 🤣🤣

[Faheem_akhoon]

Oh that was nice

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Lol thanks 😅

[Faheem_akhoon]

Great sense of humour

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Thanks 🙂 laughter good medicine sometimes.. Take a break from all the bs of life

[Faheem_akhoon]

😁😁

[Kelly6]

Very funny lol

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Thanks 🙂

[Bismarck_96]

I was dead from the intercom one😂😂

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

😅 right lolol