There are many guys like me, but most of us are afraid to talk openly about it. We feel that we’ll be judged negatively, looked down upon, laughed at, or even have our sexual orientations called into question. Reaching adulthood with your virginity intact and having no experience with even going out on dates or being in a relationship is a milestone that most guys never hope to reach, but unfortunately several of us do, and I’m one of them. These are the most common things that guys like me are likely to go through as a result of this;
1. You question your physical appearance and wonder if you’re not attractive
Probably the most common out of them all, guys like me will more than likely question their looks and start to wonder if they aren’t that attractive to the majority of girls. We will start to assume that we’re ugly and that’s why it hasn’t happened to us.
2. Some of us become jealous of couples
For a guy who has never had a girlfriend, it can suck to either be one of the only single guys in your social circle, or to see lots of couples wherever you go in public places. You start to wonder where you went wrong and why they were able to find someone, but you never have been able to. You also can begin to feel excluded from your own social circle because if most or all of your friends are in relationships, they will most likely have a couples night out that won’t include you, seeing as you have no girlfriend and you being there could be awkward since you would be a third wheel.
3. You might start to blame women for it
Blaming someone else for your own failures and shortcomings isn’t hard to do. After awhile, you might begin to think that you still being alone is all women’s fault and that you aren’t to blame at all. You might think they’re the ones who are keeping you lonely and miserable by refusing to even give you a chance. I personally don’t blame women for being in this situation, I know that it is entirely my fault and that I have no one to blame but myself for being inexperienced at an adult age. But there are several other guys out there who do blame women for this, especially if they’ve been repeatedly rejected.
4. We assume that it’s too late for us to ever date or be in a relationship at this point
A lot of us begin to assume that no girls in our age group are going to be interested in dating a guy who has less experience with dating and sex than a high schooler. We begin to believe that most girls are going to be turned off upon learning that we have so little experience despite our age because they’ll assume that they’re going to have to take the time to teach him everything about being in a relationship and about how sex works. We feel like they would probably rather date a guy who has the average level of experience for their age instead of someone who has a big learning curve to overcome. We see it as a no success situation as no girl will want to be a guy’s first at an adult age.
5. We might have our sexual orientation questioned by family or friends
When you never have a date or bring a girl home to meet your family or out with you to meet your friends, its not uncommon for them to start to call your sexual orientation into question. They might begin to believe that the reason why you’re not dating anyone and never have any girls around you is because you’re not into girls and don’t want to come out to anyone yet. This can be very frustrating and insulting as they are using your lack of success with women to make assumptions about your sexuality and you can tell them you’re straight all you want if they ever ask you, but they’ll never truly believe you until they see you finally dating a girl.
6. We get depressed
Another very common one is depression, loneliness can easily lead to experiencing depression. This can especially be the case if most others around you in your life are in relationships and you’re still single. It will make you feel lonely and feel like there’s no end in sight to this loneliness, which can lead to feelings of depression and hopelessness.
7. We will turn to drug/alcohol abuse
This goes along with #6 as depression can lead to substance abuse. We begin using drugs and alcohol once our loneliness gets us depressed, or to simply numb us emotionally since we have no companionship and will use that to fill the void.
8. We feel that people will view us as immature if they find out
This mostly refers to platonic friends finding out that you have never had a girlfriend or had sex at an adult age. Its not uncommon to feel that their perception of you changes once they find out and now view you as more beta-like than they previously did. They might also feel like they have to put on the kid gloves when they’re around you since you’ve never been in a real relationship and never reached that rite of passage into adulthood. This is especially true if the topic of dating and sex comes up in a group conversation, they might feel like the grownups talking about it in front of a kid who’s too young to understand any of that yet, let alone do it himself.
9. We feel like we’re stuck in a catch-22
Like I already said, we feel like girls our age won’t be interested in dating and inexperienced guy. We feel like we have to already have dating and sex experience in order to get that experience, which we can’t get because we don’t have that experience. This becomes very frustrating and will lead to many guys to just give up on dating as they feel there’s no way out.
10. You’ll consider going to prostitutes
Most guys in this situation will consider this at least once, we feel like its an easy way to get our first time out of the way and we’ll be less worried about our lack of experience afterwards. We might also consider buying the girlfriend experience from a prostitute, where she acts as your girlfriend and builds a connection with you in addition to having sex with you. Lots of guys in this situation feel that this is a good way to learn what to do and get a glimpse of what having a girlfriend is actually like. This works for some guys in this situation and actually makes things even worse for others.