"YOU'VE BEEN BOOED"👻... Dirty/Corny Halloween🎃 Jokes

YOUVE BEEN BOOED👻... Dirty/Corny Halloween🎃 Jokes

Happy Halloween! Could tell scary jokes but not having sex is scary enough 😱🤣....

a lot of these jokes may be candycorny, but hope it still makes you chuckle, or at least smile

YOUVE BEEN BOOED👻... Dirty/Corny Halloween🎃 Jokes

Oh and for those that said pumpkin don't turn guys on:

Care to revise your statement 🤣🤣
Care to revise your statement 🤣🤣

Why don’t witches have babies?

A: Their husbands have crystal balls.”

Why do the witches hate hanging out with the headless horseman?

A: He’s obsessed with getting head.”

Why do witches wear no panties?

A: For better grip on the broom.”

Why do skeletons enjoy sex with dainty women?

A: They like to bone a petite.”

YOUVE BEEN BOOED👻... Dirty/Corny Halloween🎃 Jokes

1900: Dracula survived by drinking the blood of virgins.

2020: Dracula dies of hunger.

YOUVE BEEN BOOED👻... Dirty/Corny Halloween🎃 Jokes

”What’s unique about sex with vampires?

A: They only come at night

Why can’t the ghost have any children?

A: He has a Halloweenie.”

Why are male ghosts attracted to female ghosts?

A: Because of their boo-bies.”

Why do Halloween ghosts moan, tremble, and shiver?

A: Because of what’s happening under that sheet.”

Halloween Party

Two monsters went to a Halloween party. Suddenly, one said to the other, ‘A lady just rolled her eyes at me. What should I do?’ The other monster replied, ‘Be a gentleman, and roll them back to her.’”

YOUVE BEEN BOOED👻... Dirty/Corny Halloween🎃 Jokes

Halloween Costume

There was an old couple who hadn’t celebrated Halloween in a long time, so they decided to dress up and go out. The old woman went into her bedroom, stripped naked, and tied a string between her legs with a lemon at the end of the string. When she walked out of the room, her husband yelled, ‘You can’t go out like that!’ ‘I can go out as whatever I want, and so can you!’ The man agreed and went into his room. Soon, he came out naked with a string tied to his penis and a potato at the end of the string. The woman said, ‘You’re going out as that?’ ‘Yes,’ said the old man. ‘If you can go out as a sourpuss, I can go out as a dicktator.’”

YOUVE BEEN BOOED👻... Dirty/Corny Halloween🎃 Jokes

Halloween Cab Ride

A nun gets into a cab and notices that the driver can’t stop staring at her. So she asks him why he is staring, and he answers, ‘I have a question I need to ask you, but I don’t want to offend you.’

The nun replies, ‘My dear son, you cannot offend me. When you’re as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you have had a chance to see and hear just about everything. I’m sure that there’s nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive.’

The cab driver hesitates for a moment and then says, ‘Well it’s like this; I’ve always had a fantasy to have a nun perform oral sex on me.’

The nun replies, ‘Okay, well, let’s see what we can do about that, shall we? There are two conditions though — firstly, you have to be single, and, secondly, you must be Catholic.’

The cab driver is very excited and says, ‘Yes, yes! I am single, and I’m Catholic too!’ The nun then says, ‘Okay, then, pull into the next alley.’

The cab driver does so, and the nun duly goes ahead and fulfills his fantasy. They get back on the road and start driving again, but the cab driver soon starts to cry.

The nun sees this and asks him, ‘My dear child, pray tell, why are you crying?’

The cab driver says, ‘You must forgive me, sister, but I have sinned. I lied to you — I must confess that I’m married, and I’m also Jewish.’

The nun laughs and says, ‘That’s okay, my name is Kevin, and I’m on my way to a Halloween party.’”

YOUVE BEEN BOOED👻... Dirty/Corny Halloween🎃 Jokes

Okay, maybe not the funniest, but hope you enjoyed......

YOUVE BEEN BOOED👻... Dirty/Corny Halloween🎃 Jokes

Thanks for reading 💜

"Brainsbeforebeauty"😘

6 10

Most Helpful Guys

  • Some of those were killer. The only one I had ever heard before was about the cabby and the nun.
    What a great topic! Dirty Halloween jokes. Leave it to you, bbb. My head's off to you. Bwaaahahahaha

    "YOU'VE BEEN BOOED"👻... Dirty/Corny Halloween🎃 Jokeshttps://www.youtube.com/embed/vs2KYJJjcG4

    Monster to the witch: "Forget your broom, ride me instead."

    Dracula to the girl at the club: "What do you say we take this party back to my coffin."

    Q: How do two skeletons have sex?
    A: By boning all night long.

    HAVE A HAUNTED HORIZONTAL HUNTCHING and HEAD BANGING Halloween!

    • 🤣🤣🤣 you and your wife as well 🎃👍🙂

  • HAHAHAHA 😂😂😂😂
    Not naughty eyyyy miss brains muffins, i laughed a lot about the nun 🤣🤣

    Anyways since this comic article contains a lot of corns, i got hungry 🥵
    When are you going to boil some corns for me so i sprinkle salt on it after you finish 😋🌽

    • Now you want corn 😅🤣

    • Yeah, i must take care of my health, that's what Dr. brains muffins told me, i can't eat sugar and sweets all the time, so that's why i'm having something salty 😜

    • Sweet than salty 😅😅

Most Helpful Girls

  • I love corny jokes.

    Who won the skeleton contest?







    No body.

    • 🤣🤣🤣 lol

    • What do you call someone with no body and no nose? Nobody knows.

    • Lololol

  • Loved the nun joke. I never saw that one coming.

    • 🤣🤣 lolol

    • LMAO I never saw the double meaning in my response there either.

    • Omg me neither 🤣🤣

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What Girls & Guys Said

2 21
  • The nun joke was funny.

    Why are they called "nuns?" Because they never got none!

    • 🤣🤣 or did they and didn't tell.. You know the whole "vow of silence""🤣🤣

  • LOL Those were funny... 😎💦

    • 😅 thanks

  • I honestly enjoyed a Halloween sex my take 😂 it was pretty fun! 😂 Thank you! 👏

    • Lol thanks 😅

  • Lmfao🤪

    • 🙂 thanks... And happy Halloween 👻🎃

    • Same 2 u💞💞💞

  • I had a thought about this post on this thread--

    "YOU'VE BEEN BOOED"👻... Dirty/Corny Halloween🎃 Jokes

    I hope it's O. K.😆 that I spoofed on someone else's spoof. I just couldn't resist 🤭

    • Who spoofed? Me? How did I spoof? I don't claim to make up these jokes, I find them online... So where is the spoof, I'm confused 🤔

    • Sorry. I was referring to me spoofing on the scarecrow someone else spoofed on. No spoof of mine was directed at you, or anybody but the implied Gluteus Maximus metaphor if the jack-o'-lantern rear end on that scare Crow. Sorry if it came across different than that.

    • No sorry I'm tired only got an hour of sleep last night and a half an hour this afternoon.. Maybe I'm not comprehending so well today..,

    • Show All
  • I just came up with this one... So it's probably very, very Forney (and wrong) though not dirty.

    A ghost was wondering through a city and came across a crowd of people and thought it would be fun to scare everyone so he sneaks up and yells BOO everyone runs except the black guys, the ghost ask why they didn't run and the guys say cause we ain't scared of any ghost... The ghost yells Police... :P

    • 🤣🤣

    • Glad you liked it... I had thought to myself hey close to 100% of all the jokes we see have been said before and seen before and decided. why not see if I could come up with a new one, so I did.

  • LOOOOOL
    🤣🤣🤣

    • 😅 Happy Halloween 🤗🤗

    • 🤗🤗🤗

    • But... Behave 👁️👁️👻

    • Show All
  • Thanks for sharing :) HAPPY Halloween !!!

    • Thanks... Happy Halloween 👻🎃💜

    • @brainsbeforebeauty You're Welcome :) :)

  • Those were hilarious mam.

    • Thanks 🙂

    • Welcome mam. Especially the crystal ball one was amazing 🤣🤣

    • 🤣🤣

  • Awwww thanks for making me smile, we've officially announced our second nationwide lockdown here, just had to tell my Mum I won't be home for Christmas and in day 13 of 19 consecutive days in work (and my useless f*cking football team who had a chance to make me feel better decided to lose again!)... so any positivity is appreciated lol

    • Sorry bout the lockdown... And your football team...6 more days to go job wise but you got it.. All that milk must make you strong 🤣🤣 glad you got a smile 🙂🎃💜

    • I went to make a cup of tea after finishing work and speaking to my Mum to make me feel better... the milk was off, sometimes it's just not your weekend! lol

    • Can you go get more?

    • Show All
  • All were great. I really liked the "rolled her eyes" one, though. Happy Halloween!

    • Thanks 🙂 same to you

  • WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
    WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
    SPOOOKY

    • 🙂🙂

  • Why do witches wear no panties?

    A: For better grip on the broom.

    This one just gave me dirty thoughts. Thank you so much.
    😂😂

    • I think you have those anyway 🤣🤣 but, welcome 🙂

    • Yeah but after this joke i was thinking of the witch riding my broomstick. 😂😂

    • 🤣🤣🤣 well at least no splinters that way 🤣🤣🤣

  • That was funny.

    Simples...

    • Thanks 🙂

  • Why do vampires sleep in a coffin?




    Because they suck and they're trying to die.

    • 🤣🤣

    • Ok i just made this one up. Why do werewolves turn away when telling stories? Because they want to share their furry tails.

    • Its corny i get it hehe

    • Show All
  • I'm 💀

  • Nice!

    • Thanks 🙂

  • Very amusing - thanks!!

    • 🙂🎃 thanks

  • Oh now you know which one I done lol

    • 😅 the dicktator 🤣🤣

  • I masturbated while reading this mytake. Its safe to say I've failed no nut November.

    • 🤣🤣🤣

  • Show More (3)