"HOE HOE HOE YOUR WAY" TO Dirty Christmas Jokes Cuz Christmas Is A CUMMIN...

Brainsbeforebeauty
HOE HOE HOE YOUR WAY TO Dirty Christmas Jokes Cuz Christmas Is A CUMMIN...

Hey, if the radios can be playing Christmas music already then I figure it's never too early (that's not what she said) for dirty Christmas jokes🀢

May they make your night merry and bright.....

What did Santa sing when he went down the chimney?
β€œChestnuts roasting on an open fire…”

How does Santa practice safe sex?
He always wraps his package before shoving it down the chimney.

HOE HOE HOE YOUR WAY TO Dirty Christmas Jokes Cuz Christmas Is A CUMMIN...

Why does Santa always come through the chimney?
Because he knows better than to try the back door.

Why does Santa always land on your roof?
Because he likes it on top.

Why is Santa so damn jolly?
Because he knows where all the naughty women live.

HOE HOE HOE YOUR WAY TO Dirty Christmas Jokes Cuz Christmas Is A CUMMIN...

What do three hos get you?
One very jolly Santa.

HOE HOE HOE YOUR WAY TO Dirty Christmas Jokes Cuz Christmas Is A CUMMIN...

I love this time of year.
You can slam your laptop shut when your partner walks into the room and you don’t get any disgusted looks.

Say your left leg is Thanksgiving, and your right leg is Christmas…

Can I visit between the holidays?

HOE HOE HOE YOUR WAY TO Dirty Christmas Jokes Cuz Christmas Is A CUMMIN...

What does Mrs. Claus get when she wears tight pants?
A Mistletoe.

Wanna see the North Pole?
That’s what Mrs. Claus calls it…

Why does Mrs. Claus always pray for a white Christmas?
Cause she’s married to a guy who comes once a year.

.

HOE HOE HOE YOUR WAY TO Dirty Christmas Jokes Cuz Christmas Is A CUMMIN...

Is your name Jingle Bells?
Cause you look ready to go all the way.

As I was paying the cashier for my Christmas tree, he asked, β€œAre you going to put that up yourself?”
I said, β€œNo, I’m putting it up in the living room.”

Why are Christmas trees better than men?

Even the small ones give satisfaction.

HOE HOE HOE YOUR WAY TO Dirty Christmas Jokes Cuz Christmas Is A CUMMIN...

Christmas Gift

A guy decides to buy his new girlfriend a pair of gloves for Christmas. After all, they’ve only been dating for three weeks so it seems like the ideal gift – romantic, yet not too personal.

He asks the girlfriend’s younger sister to accompany him to buy them then she can point out a pair she’d like. They go to the mall and the sister points out a pair of white gloves which the guy then buys.

The sister then picks up a pair of panties for herself and buys them.

But during the wrapping, the clerk mixes up the parcels without anyone realising. As a result, the sister gets the gloves and the guy takes home a gift box containing the panties.

Without checking, the guy rushes the gift to his sweetheart, but only after drafting this loving and helpful note to accompany it:

β€œI chose these because I notice you are not in the habit of wearing any when we go out in the evening. If it had not been for your sister, I would have chosen the long ones with the buttons, but she wears the short ones that are easier to remove.

These are a delicate shade, but the lady I bought them from showed me a pair she’d been wearing for the last three weeks and they were hardly soiled.

I had her try yours on for me and she looked really smart.

I wish I was there to put them on for you the first time. There’s no doubt other hands will come in contact with them before I have a chance to see you again.

When you take them off remember to blow in them before putting them away, as they will naturally be a little damp from wearing.

Just think how many times I will kiss them during the coming year. I hope you will wear them for the coming Christmas Eve.

P.S. The latest style is to wear them folded down with a little fur showing.”

HOE HOE HOE YOUR WAY TO Dirty Christmas Jokes Cuz Christmas Is A CUMMIN...

I hope you enjoyed and it got you "in the spirit" or "in the mood" to spread a little "cheer".... Tis the season to give after all..... (Or take it πŸ˜‰)

Last thing tho, if Santa not real πŸ€”

HOE HOE HOE YOUR WAY TO Dirty Christmas Jokes Cuz Christmas Is A CUMMIN...

Thanks for reading πŸ’œπŸ’œ

"Brainsbeforebeauty"😘

"HOE HOE HOE YOUR WAY" TO Dirty Christmas Jokes Cuz Christmas Is A CUMMIN...
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Most Helpful Guys

  • Lliam
    I knew I could count on you for some Christmas cheer, bbb.

    She was in bed, waiting excitedly for Santa to come…
    Then there was that awkward silence as he got dressed and left.

    Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the gates of heaven.
    "In honor of this holy season," he said, "You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven."
    The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. "This represents a candle," he said.
    "Very well, you may pass through the pearly gates," said Saint Peter.
    The second man reached into his pockets and pulled out a set of keys. They jingled as he shook them and he said, "They're bells."
    Saint Peter said, "You may also enter heaven."
    The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's panties. Saint Peter looked at the man, puzzled. "And just what do those symbolize?" he asked with a raised eyebrow.
    The man replied, "These are Carol's."

    When Santa came down the chimney of one house, he was surprised to find a man standing there waiting for him. "Why are you still up?" Santa asked. The man replied, "I'm waiting for the ho ho hos I asked for."

    What’s the difference between a Christmas tree and a man?
    A Christmas tree will stay up for 12 nights, has cute balls and looks good with the lights on.

    This one's just for you, bbb. A man unwraps a present from his wife on Christmas morning and looks at it, confused. But trying to be upbeat, he says "Wow! Thank you, sweetie! What a unique stretchy bracelet." Holding it up, he says "And what is the purpose of the silver chain that's attached to it? Does this bracelet have symbolism?"
    Wife. "It's a new cock ring and the chain is so I can get it out of my throat if it gets stuck again like the last one."

    Merry Christmas!!!
    Like 2 People
    Is this still revelant?
    • 🀣🀣🀣🀣 that last one tho, you so Wrong for that 🀣🀣🀣

  • Massageman
    Thanks. I needed that!

    What’s the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa?
    Santa was smart enough to stop at three hos.

    What’s the most disappointing thing for a man on Christmas morning?
    When he gets a sweater, but he’s hoping for a screamer or a moaner!

    Is that Miley Cyrus with Santa in pic 3? poor guy
    Maybe I'll just stick with Ms. Grinch! Green merkins! Wow!
    Maybe I'll just stick with Ms. Grinch! Green merkins! Wow!
    LikeDisagree 4 People
    Is this still revelant?

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What Girls & Guys Said

1021
  • Yads_Is_Back
    Call me dumb but I don't understand this one:
    As I was paying the cashier for my Christmas tree, he asked, β€œAre you going to put that up yourself?”
    I said, β€œNo, I’m putting it up in the living room.”

    But The one about the undies and gloves omg 🤣🤣🤣
    Like 3 People
    • put that "UP" yourself? 🀣🀣 Get it now? People be inserting all kinds of crazy things these days 🀣🀣🀣

    • I still don't get it 🀣

    • Lololol shove it up? Put it up? 🀣🀣🀣

    • Show All
  • newfreshstart
    "HOE HOE HOE YOUR WAY" TO Dirty Christmas Jokes Cuz Christmas Is A CUMMIN..."HOE HOE HOE YOUR WAY" TO Dirty Christmas Jokes Cuz Christmas Is A CUMMIN..."HOE HOE HOE YOUR WAY" TO Dirty Christmas Jokes Cuz Christmas Is A CUMMIN...i beat your jokes
    Like 2 People
  • Jjpayne
    Santa gets all the Ho Ho Hos 😂 and knows where all the naughty girls live 😂

    Mistletoe 😂"HOE HOE HOE YOUR WAY" TO Dirty Christmas Jokes Cuz Christmas Is A CUMMIN...
    Like 3 People
  • GoodGuyBreakingBad
    Yes them dirty Santa jokes sound cool, I know of some myself
    1. ) When you sit on Santas lap that's not a candy cane in his pocket
    he is just happy to see you LOL
    2.) How does come down your Chimney they use Sani Flush?
    ( Remember stuff used to be used to unclogged drains )
    3.) Who has more hoes? Santa Claus or the Jolly Green Giant?
    LMFAO
    Like 1 Person
  • jack187625
    "HOE HOE HOE YOUR WAY" TO Dirty Christmas Jokes Cuz Christmas Is A CUMMIN...Thought you might appreciate it
    Like 3 People
  • TonyMetal___86
    HAHAHA 😂😂
    What a naughty VERY NAUGHTY lady you are miss brains, you shouldn't show such thing to a man who i alone, unless your wrapping yourself for me as a gift on christmans 🤣🤣

    I need such Christmas with miss brains muffins, anyways don't forget the delicious meals and muffins or the Christmas table will never be complete 😌
    LikeDisagree 2 People
    • I'm nice not naughty πŸ˜‡πŸ™‚πŸ˜‚
      Speaking of, have to get to store to get my turkey... Our we'll just be eating sides on Thanksgiving

    • Okay, and i'll be eating miss brains muffins and i'll add some whipe cream and a cherry in her forehead πŸ˜‹

    • πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

  • WhiteSteve
    Like 1 Person
  • humanearth
    The panty glove story was the best I heard in a while
    Like 1 Person
  • Dweezil
    Question: What's the difference between Santa and Donald Trump?


    Answer: Santa stops after 3 Hoes
    LikeDisagree 3 People
  • BoobMan
    Laughed out loud at "No, I'm putting it up in the living room!"
    Like 1 Person
  • CubaPirate
    Make it stop its still November and you guys ain't had Thanksgiving yet 🤣🤣🤣
    Like 3 People
  • Wise4myage
    I absolutely love all the dirty Santa jokes, pictures and memes.
    Like 1 Person
  • mrgspoter
    Well this Santa is not giving out little gifts from money this year, it's one of the big kind maybe if she's lucky
    Like 1 Person
    • Gonna give her your "candy cane" πŸ˜‰πŸ€£

    • mrgspoter

      Christmas day it's one of turning her into an angel, that showers bliss all day until she floats into the dreamy lands of Eden, im good seing that on the eyes if I'm lucky.

    • Well here's to you getting Christmas sex πŸ₯‚πŸ»

    • Show All
  • tae_ie
    thanks for the dirty laughter.
    Like 2 People
  • cjgsu
    Lmao.

    Go to timeout👉🏾
    Like 2 People
    • Me πŸ˜‡πŸ˜‡πŸ˜‡ umm I'm the momma.. You go to time out 🀣🀣🀣

    • cjgsu

      (0.0) ... okay...πŸ˜”πŸšΆπŸΎβ€β™€οΈπŸšΆπŸΎβ€β™€οΈπŸšΆπŸΎβ€β™€οΈ

    • 🀣🀣🀣

  • JackSmy
    LOL!! YOU ROCK!!
    Like 1 Person
    • Lol thanks πŸ™‚

    • JackSmy

      Love the sexually deprecating humor, and the naughtiness, just implied, and just being REAL!!
      Sadly, so few can just love the humor, and JOY of that!!

  • wingattebaby16
    love them!!!
    Like 1 Person
  • Medlife
    🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 im dead
    Like 1 Person
  • JoyGirl
    Oop 👀👀👀
    Like 2 People
  • Shorty763
    Lol a white Christmas
    Like 1 Person
  • Show More (11)
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