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How to become attractive to women. How to stop fearing women. A guide for dudes who are UTTERLY HOPELESS with women.

How to become attractive to women. How to stop fearing women. A guide for dudes who are UTTERLY HOPELESS with women.

This is my first mytake and my first real try at actually helping guys who were as hopeless as I once was. I was terrified of women to a degree that is just ridiculous. I was as low on the totem pole as you can imagine! I don't care how bad it is for you, what I say applies to you. Actually, if you're a normal average guy, it probably applies LESS to you.

I will not make this mytake entertaining with links and pictures. If you can't read a wall of text, well too bad. Stay single and afraid of women.

There's just a few pre-requisites I would have to say you have to have or work on while you start the process of becoming attractive to women. Such as, wearing nice clothes and smelling good. Look up men's fashion, choose nice clothes, but also express your personality through them. You don't have to copy another guys pants and shirt, put your own uniqueness into it as well. Just don't dress like a friggin bum. And smell good too, get cologne and such. If you don't want to do that, well I guess just stay a virgin. Optionally you could lift some weights too. Girls lift weights too. It's fun, you should do it for your health anyways. Increase your bone density and avoid osteoporosis when you're 90 lol. Pour your own milk and wipe your own ass when you get older. Die being active rather than in a wheelchair in a nursing home. I'm just sayin... And girls like a little bit of muscle on a guy. You don't have to be a jacked monstrosity. Just have more physical prowess than a female. And if you're fat? Definitely lift weights. You go from being a fat slob, to a fat muscular bear that is a lot more attractive and powerful looking than just a fat blob. And if you're skinny, put a little size on you. You don't have to be a huge muscled beastly monster. Just a little bit goes a long way with the ladies.

This guide is mostly based on me and my experiences. Me sharing my experiences on the internet, and getting upvotes and replies from other guys who have basically told me they suffered from the same problems as I had. And so, if this doesn't apply to you, sorry, you'll have to go elsewhere for tips on how to become attractive with women. If you're just a totally average dude, never were a social outcast, well lucky you. I don't know why you're struggling, I can't relate to normal people.

If you're like how I used to be, you're hopeless with women because you're terrified of them. But there is hope. The process is simple.

If you already fulfilled the pre-requisites, and you want to simply dive right in. It's easy! Identify a cute girl you like. Walk up to her, put on a big happy smile, look her in the eyes and say "let's go on a date!" or "let me take you out." Smile, be happy, be direct, and tell her exactly what you want!

But if you're like how I used to be, that is impossible for you to do. You'll walk up to the girl, shaking like a leaf, voice cracking, fear boiling up in every inch of your body. It just won't work. You can be direct and it won't do shit. Because you're terrified of women. And now the rest of this mytake will be explaining to you how to not be afraid of women anymore.

If you think all women want is money, six pack abs, and huge cocks, you're wrong. But you're blinded where you are. You cannot see the truth. You're stuck in a deep dark hole. And these beliefs hold you back. These beliefs are part of why you're afraid of women. You fear judgement and rejection. You fear being deemed unworthy. And as long as that fear is inside of you, as long as you believe these things, you will never be attractive to women. Because they can smell that fear and women are disgusted by a timid scared man. And you have seen the proof and the truth. You've seen guys who are hideous, homeless fucking bums and criminals, with girls fawning all over them. Because it's not about money, or looks, or dick size. It's about confidence, and those kinds of guys give no fucks. That's what makes the pussy drip all over the place. But you don't have to become a tatted up gang banger to get girls lol. You don't have to do this extreme transformation into something you aren't.

If you're like how I used to be, you are full of anxiety and fear and worry and self doubt when you talk to a woman. You keep things as platonic and non offensive as possible. You don't want her to be creeped out by you. You don't want her to think you're some kind of sexual horny maniac desperate for sex. A loser who begs a girl for a crumb of pussy. You don't want women to think that is what you are. And maybe you aren't that at all, but you know that if you try you will be viewed as that. I understand.

You imagine in your head what the "cool" dude would say, and he would say it and the girl would laugh and smile. He would "get away" with it. You believe that if you said the same thing, she would be offended and disgusted by it. And you're right, she would be. Because you haven't practiced being that guy and so you can't just "be" that guy. She isn't disgusted or offended by what you said. She's offended that you're shaking like a leaf. She's offended that you said this bold thing, but your voice cracked and your eyes looked away, and your smile was a fake smile that shows your fear on your face.

Imagine if a fat disgusting hideous woman comes onto you. You're disgusted that she even thinks she has a chance with you. You want her to know she has no chance with you. You being afraid of a woman is shown on your face and body, and she becomes disgusted by you as if you were the equivalent of a fat hideous smelly woman.

So what do you do? What you do is you begin to say those things that you believe you cannot say. However, you must start small, because if you go too big, it will scare your own mind worse than the reaction from the girl. The end goal, is to actually say the things that pop into your head the instant they pop into your head. Right now, you can't do that. But you will work your way to that. To being your authentic self who says what he thinks.

So you're talking to a girl. Being platonic as fuck. Being completely non sexual. Being as nice and friendly and non threatening as you can be. Because that's the best you can do. When you do talk to girls, its never flirtatious, it's never presumptive, it's never bold, it's never cocky, it's never anything than platonic. And you can never take it further. When you do ask a girl out, she always says no. It's time to change that!

You have to say out loud, to the girl, something that you believe you will be punished for. Punished meaning: the girl is creeped out by you, gets upset, thinks you're weird, or whatever negative thing. You have to say outloud the smallest tiniest infraction you can think of, that you can deal with the consequences for. You have to take that platonic, friendly, boring, nice, situation, where you're afraid to overstep any boundary, and you have to put a toe over that line. Just a toe! Something small. Something you are able to force yourself to do. You have to be afraid to say it, but also not so afraid that you cannot force yourself to say it even though you really don't want to.

So rather than going big with "damn bitch you got a fat ass, let me take you home and make you scream my name" You say something small, almost insignificant, but something that you still feel afraid of saying. Something you still feel like you will become socially ostracized for, be viewed as an asshole or a creep for saying.

It's hard to come up with an example. Say you're talking to a girl in this platonic manner. You're a nice calm chill dude, just a friendly non threatening guy, talking small talk as casually and non offensively as you can. It's time to push the boundary. It's time to say some teeny tiny thing that you feel is a social infraction and will get you in trouble.

Ok, this can be a few different things actually. You can point out a flaw in her. Maybe her shoes look funny, maybe she has a pimple. You can also say something overly confident. You can say something like "Yea I'm handsome AF." Maybe a little smaller than that lol. Something confident and presumptuous. Even though you don't believe anything positive about yourself, you say something cocky as if you do believe something good about yourself. Something more than you truly believe. Something you actually don't believe, but you say it as if you do. Or you can say something flirtatious but in the smallest way you can imagine that you can push yourself to say. Like "i like you." But you kinda slipped it in when you could rather than it being a big bold declaration.

Depending on how girls react, will change the speed at which you gain confidence to say what you really think and feel and want and desire. When you say something overly bold, and girls go from keeping their distance from you, to suddenly they're beaming smiles and positivity towards you, it quickly reinforces the behavior.

If you do it so awkwardly and weirdly, that no matter what you say, girls continue to feel weird around you, it will take you longer to get over your problem. But you have to continue to put your toe across that line. Which is why i keep saying to make it something very small. You will know in that moment what tiny thing you can handle. As long as it's not so big as to prevent you from trying, but not so small that you don't see it as something you're afraid to say. You need to fear to say it, but you need to also decide that even though you are afraid to say it, it is a small enough infraction that you feel you can get away with it.

And often times girls will flip light a light switch. You say this tiny thing you felt afraid to say, and suddenly you are receiving positive responses from the girl or girls. You might be afraid to say something, because you don't want the girl to notice the large difference in how you normally are compared to the new you that suddenly says something bold. But girls don't care. They are like a light switch, they are like a computer. You input commands and they respond. If you put out boldness, they respond by giving you attention. If next, you put out timidness, poof, affection and attention gone, and you go back to being ignored. Turn on the boldness again, and poof, attention gained again. Do not worry about what the girl thinks. It's almost like they don't think at all. They are like computers. It's actually bizarre and you will probably see it in action. You will see girls go hot and cold with you, back and forth. For me it's almost a fun game. If I say something timid and shy, and then something bold, its just amazing to watch how the girl will change how she acts around me in an instant back and forth as if there is nothing weird about me being shy one second and bold the next. It's very strange and bizarre but hey, that's women.

And so on you go, continuously testing the waters. Putting your toe out of line, pushing yourself to say more and more and do more and more. Eventually girls will begin to treat you in a way you never imagined. And it will reinforce your confidence to say and do w/e the hell you want. You will feel like you are seeing a whole new world. As you say and do bold things, you will see how girls flip like a light switch. And you want that light switch to be turned on, because you will love to have female attention. So step over the line, keep testing the waters, keep pushing the boundaries. You will likely want to more and more just because even with the tiniest infractions, you notice a large difference in how girls respond to you. And eventually you will see how wrong you were about women wanting money six packs and big dongs. What they really crave is boldness, confidence, displays of power.

In addition to all of this, you need to start touching them as well. Maybe I should do a different take on touching. Because touching can be terrifying. You feel like a creep, but then you can end up hugging and squeezing every damn girl you meet, putting your hands on their waist and hips. Grabbing their hands and their arms, pushing them poking them, flirting with them. Showing them your strength because you know they like that. And then you wonder why you were ever afraid in the first place.

Anyways, it all becomes authentic. You may not truly believe in yourself that you're a handsome guy. But when you act as if you are around girls, you will start to believe it. And you will believe it, because you said this presumptuous cocky thing, and instead of being struck down, girls shine their attention and affection towards you. That makes it real and that makes you believe it.

Eventually, you have to learn to express yourself fully. Right now, you're never being your true self around women. You're afraid to be your real self. That's part of the process. Expressing your real self even though you are afraid to do it. And as they respond positively to that, and they will, you become more and more comfortable to be yourself. And you can be cocky and arrogant, and fun and silly, and weird and flirtatious, and all of these things you never imagined possible. And you can be your realest self around women. The point is to start putting that toe out of line. You fear to be yourself but the more you actually become yourself the more women will like you.

And then, when you've learned enough, when you've learned to be yourself, to be comfortable and happy around women, it will not be even the slightest problem to literally walk up to some random cute girl, and say "lets go out on a date!" With a big happy smile and a positive vibration beaming at her. And she will beam it right back. Even if she says no, even if she has a boyfriend, it will be fine. You'll just laugh and smile and say "aww! You sure? hmm ok fine, but I still have a big crush on you!" and you can skip away while rainbows and butterflies and shit spout of your ass lol. And you won't be afraid of women anymore. And you'll talk to every girl you meet and flirt and be yourself and be happy, and girls will want you and suddenly you'll see that you can have any girl you want and suddenly your standards will go up and up and up and you won't even want to date half the girls you used to want before.

I have more ideas for mytakes. Such as how to give women orgasms, even if you got a tiny little peepee, you can make you girl cum her friggin brains out. And if you can learn to be a sensual sexual guy, girls will be drawn you to even more, because you start to exude that shit in your mere presence around them. But that's another mytake, along with one I may do on touching. You know, if anyone actually reads this shit and wants me to do that and actually tells me that what I've said here has helped. But I suspect that nobody will read it because it's too long. Well, your loss.

How to become attractive to women. How to stop fearing women. A guide for dudes who are UTTERLY HOPELESS with women.
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Most Helpful Guys

  • ChrisG30
    How to be attractive to women? Women feel most attractive to you when you take behavioral steps which indicate you have selected them as a mate.

    The key thing about women is they like to feel chosen.

    A) when you are around lots of women admiring you and then you decide to pick one of those girls, that's selection right there.

    B) when you play hard to get and make the women feel she had to jump through some hoops to get you, that's selection right there.

    C) when you have a large list of requirements in women and she sees that, that's selection there.

    D) when you show confidence and no fear at going after what you want, that's selection there.

    E) When you seem to eager to impress a women, that's a LACK OF SELECTION, and she will ignore you. You are trying to win her over, she needs to be the one winning you over.

    F) when you challenge her, that is you start asking what she can bring to the table, that's showing selection.

    G) when you show that you are willing to risk losing her, that's selection there.

    H) when you completely ignore her, that is a LACK OF SELECTION. She will think you are not interested if it is too deep.
    Is this still revelant?
    • Kaazsz

      This is advice for normal guys who are not terrified of women, and my take is not aimed at them. Many men can read your comment and believe that it is the truth, however they are still incapable of acting out in real life what you have said. My take is to teach you to overcome the fear and anxiety that prevents you from performing beneficial actions.

      If that doesn’t make sense to you, this take doesn’t apply to you and you are a very lucky person.

  • PushOrganic
    First of all, great piece man

    I've been practicing game and learning from RSD (when it was teaching game) since 2015.

    I believe seduction is a lifelong skill that needs to be conistenly practiced

    I like specifically liked the "flip the light switch" paragraph. Because even such as myself who has been doing cold approach and game for years, the approach tension when doing it with a new girl never goes away. Always lean on the side of edgy and bold.

    Excellent tips.

    For hard case noobies, I think they'll find it valuable. I would add to this the skill of text game and sedction in written form. My advice for this is to read female porn literature, and notice the details of how the stories are told. I feel us guys can learn a lot and apply a ton from it
    Is this still revelant?
    • Kaazsz

      I have some seen RSD videos. They are quite long lol. Maybe I should watch some more. I do like the guys who teach the material, as some of them were hopeless anxiety ridden chumps like me who managed to turn it around. But I honestly haven't consumed very much of their material.

      Most of what I learned was a result of me working with a ton of females, seeing them in their natural habitat, and seeing them behind the veil they put up to make sure men do not see who they really are. I've seen the things that women purposefully hide from men and I've seen the truth of women. So I learned a lot and it's helped me a lot. And I've applied as i said in my post and it's been great.

      As far as texting goes you're so right. And the light switch analogy applies there too. Say something bold and she's texting kissy faces, say something while you are feeling shy and afraid of the outcome of your text, and she never replies again lol. Just like a lightswitch, you can turn her on and off in an instant.

      For me personally I still harbor a lot of guilt and shame towards "game." I am trying to get over it. Especially since I've learned so much about girls, and they love it when a guy has game and when he's got a ton of girls all vying for his attention. I'm trying to get over that aspect so I can get out there more than I am now.

      I guess I should revisit RSD. I used to like tyler the best. But it feels to me like their best stuff you would have to pay for and go to one of those real life thingies they do where they take guys out and have them gaming girls real fast. And I believe it because I know how quickly the positive reinforcement works. Like once you say something bold to a girl and she just flips the switch and is drawn to you, your insecurities just vanish.

      Honestly I can probably do it myself. Ever since covid though I've been stuck in the house most of the time doing nothing lol.

    • I have a pro tip for your problem,

      Affirmations. Yes they do work. Affirmations have studies and research behind them to support they're effectiveness, look at the EMG studies, it'll blow your mind. I also have the mindset you are entitled to approaching women, and that every woman you meet wants your cock. As toxic as this may sound, it's helped me a lot.

      At the end of the day, do not feel any guilt or shame about learning game. Do whatever you have to do to get over yourself, don't be your own enemy. Game is a skill I had to learn it too and it's one of my greatest interest, and today my friends come to be it for game, texting, and "what would you" relationship advice. It actually really feels great

      But seriously, try affirmations. I'll post the 2 I have been listening some I've been listening to the the last few weeks. You need to be consistent with them for it work, try them for 14 days in a row. I personally do meditation, so my new affirmation practice recently substitute the mediation I did before it. .

      http (s)://www. youtube. com/watch? v=4heOFg6Nc1U&t=2s

      Also, I set notifications on google calendar to remind me of my affirmations

      Mine are, "I am a talented trader. I actively trade options and invest in equities, and being succesful in this is important to me, this one reminds me to take the actions and making the decisions to be successful at it

      I am a dominant cold approacher", Cold approach has been a spiritual journey and something that's important to me to be consistent with, that's why this one exists for, helps me also be confident about it

      "I emotionally keep the conversation going" - I've just noticed that when my conversations with women are like emotional crack that they like it better, this helps me be in that state of mind with most of my conversations

      This is my thought process and what's worked for me, genuinely hope you'll find it valuable

      Keep up the content man, this is great and your helping a lot of people

    • Just noticed the link doesn't really work,

      The title of the video is

      " ALPHA MALE - Super Charged Affirmations - Listen to for 21 Days " channel name is "Rockstar Affirmations"

      Only works with headphones

Most Helpful Girls

  • JennyFoxworth
    Your post is already funny even without the pictures or memes 😂
    Is your work related to IT, electronics? You were comparing girls to computers, input commands and they'll respond. And the light switch 🤣🤣🤣
    Yeah guys, just be yourselves with clean clothes and look like you wash yourselves and brush your teeth everyday, just a normal white T and a pair of jeans is enough. You don't need to bomb us girls by pouring a bottle of cologne all over your body. And I know most girls got turn off by people who looks like they take steroid for breakfast.
    Good luck getting the girl you want!
    Is this still revelant?
    • Kaazsz

      No I actually don’t know anything about computers lol.

      Your advice is nice and all, but it doesn’t work for guys like how I used to be. Girls do not go on dates with men who shake like a leaf when they talk to a girl, and look awkward and afraid as hell. They can barely even SPEAK to a girl without having a panic attack.

      The purpose is to tell dudes how to overcome that extreme fear of women. You may not understand because you don’t have to deal with that. But it’s not easy when you’re scared shitless of women. Women don’t go on dates with men who are scared shitless of them.

    • Haha ok, maybe I have never noticed any men that shaky.
      I'm just talking about the clothing you don't need such expensive clothes or dress like a model with tacky fur coat and makeup or sth.

    • Kaazsz

      That’s true. I can make cheap clothes look good, but learning men’s fashion helped me do it. And it allowed me to express myself further.

      But I would say expensive cologne is a must. The cheap stuff smells awful lol. Do you know of cheaper alternatives for men to smell good? Besides just being clean and having decent soap of course, that’s just a minimum though.

    • Show All
  • AnnNoid
    nice novel man, all u really need to give me advice on his confidence and even feeling worth enough to try to fuck a girl, i dont even have the self esteem to try, i feel as if im not deserving of a girl so i won't even try

    all of that advice u gave is great but useless to people like me
    Is this still revelant?
    • Inbox

      Then try and take every opportunity you can within reason - life is way too short.

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What Girls & Guys Said

  • Celtero
    The great thing is I don't care anymore, and haven't for years. I want to be myself, and if women don't like how I am then oh well. I'm not molding my being for them and I'm not going out of my way to attract them. 90% of them aren't even worth a damn anyway.
    • Kaazsz

      Where do I suggest to "mold your being?" This is to help you to actually be yourself for the first time in your life around women.

  • I'm not terrified of, or intimidated, by women, as much as I'm simply not physically attractive to them (short, overweight, dark-skinned, ugly), and I'd much rather have the freedom to fully be myself than to change who I am for people who mostly aren't worth the time and effort anyway (and aren't doing even a fraction as much work for any men out there). I'm not cocky, arrogant, an asshole, or extroverted. I don't want to pretend to be, just for a woman. I'm intellectual, only speak when what I have to say matters, and like to talk about deep, big picture things and philosophy, rather than petty small talk (which I hate). So these tips do not have any effect on me, but they still seem like good tips for some timid guys.

    Also, because you didn't mention height, I have to assume you're tall as well, which is half the battle. If you're short; most of this will still fail; confident short men get rejected ALL THE TIME. They just learn to stop caring and talk to WAY more girls in order to compensate for that shortness. So I feel like you're probably already tall (6' or above) and don't have one of the major handicaps that stops men from getting women.

    Regardless but I still felt like this was an excellent MyTake for some men, nonetheless. Thanks for sharing.


    1. Wear nice expensive clothes and dress good.
    2. Always smell good.
    3. Lift weights/don't be fat.
    4. Smile, be happy, be direct, and tell her exactly what you want.
    5. Be authentic and say what you really think; including risking offense.
    6. Do not worry about what the girl thinks. It's almost like they don't think at all. (True!)
    7. Practice the above steps.
    • Kaazsz

      The only reason I learned this stuff is because I ended up working a job with 99% female employees.

      I saw how they interacted with men and how they reacted to those men, but from the woman’s perspective. Meaning, the part of women that is hidden from men.

      What really helped me to understand the truth, was ugly ass short dudes, stopping by for whatever reason, whether it was business related, supplies, that type of shit. Or they were some kind of customer.

      And these ugly short dudes would come by but they had balls, and hit on the girls and got their phone numbers. And I saw the girls giggling and chattering like chimpanzees over guys that I had always imagined were the bottom of the barrel.

      Now if I had only seen hot tall men doing this, it never would have helped me. I would have stayed a terrified anxiety ridden loser, forever alone.

      But it was those guys who I always believed were especially disadvantaged, getting numbers and being confident, and then the subsequent behind the scenes reactions from the girls, that really showed me that the only thing women are attracted to is confidence. Nothing else matters. And if you believe otherwise, you are holding yourself back.

  • Anon621
    Everyone has their own take on how to be attractive to women. It just depends. Some people genuinely dont care one bit if women find them attractive. I'm definitely one of those guys. I personally dont care about getting ripped or being direct. I've tried that in the past and I personally didn't like it. I think this guide could be decent for most guys but when you fall in the minority of guys like I do who have spent almost a year with a scrappy beard and who have the upper body strength of spongebob I feel like you just stop caring about being attractive to women. And it's not like I dont know how to come across I know exactly what I'm doing growing out a beard and not being direct. My personal opinion for a while has been if she's not stereotyping me in one way or another than I'm not doing something the way I want to come across. Sure image matters, and that's exactly why I want to change the public perception of image. And if it costs me in terms of being single for my entire life then so be it. I'm not afraid to tell people I genuinely want to work a low end job for my entire career because I personally fell in love with earning a paycheck but that's just me.
  • nachoman123
    i only read the title
    1. get the basics done : grooming, cleanliness, how you dress, etc
    2. cut out the bs : social media, porn, junk foods, etc and replace them with good habits and hobbies
    3. dedicate time to just approach women in the street, mall or whatever and build the social skills, confidence and mindset of abundance
    4. journal what could you have done better and what you did good after each interactions
    • Kaazsz

      Well if you read it you would see that this is not aimed at normal people. This is aimed at people who are broken. People who become an anxiety ridden mess who shakes and has an anxiety attack from speaking to a woman.

    • 5. the most important : keep it fun and light, you will never succeed if you see talking to women as work

    • Kaazsz

      You’re lucky to be a normal person and not be able to understand what I’m talking about. Be grateful for that, because there are people who are incapable of doing as you say. If that doesn’t make sense to you, you’re just a normal person. You aren’t broken. You wouldn’t get it lol.

    • Show All
  • markthespot
    That was really long winded. Try being yourself and just look them in the eyes when speaking to them and not at them.. All bullshit aside, if you really want to show the girl that you are paying attention to her, buy her something for her hair. No shit!! Its the little things that keep most of them going, not the mega bullshit lines of haves and don't haves. Just try keeping it real one time.
    • Kaazsz

      You’re one of those lucky people who isn’t terrified of women. This mytake is for people who are far more broken than you have ever been. Your advice does not help the old me. The old me was INCAPABLE of doing as you say. It was impossible, because I was an extremely broken person. This mytake is for them.

  • Twalli
    Your advice would have helped if I didn't already have a girlfriend. Funnily enough I don't think I will have problems anymore. I now know some girls may like me.
  • FakeNIK
    I like that direct approach you mentioned... There was a time I used to be like that... All is takes are little baby steps.. if you follow them correctly you'll get want you want..
  • stefan1985
    To be honest I don't care about that, I don't care if they fine me attractive or not, I'm gonna look the way I want and act the way I want, unlike most guys I dont care how women or for that matter people view me in general.
  • I think we men know that women like physical strength. But me personally, I worry that if I do, 9 times out of 10, I'll be attracting women who are submissive. That's kind of why I'm reluctant to do it; I find dominance in women (relationship-wise, not sex-wise) attractive.

    Yes, confidence is gonna help me, but me being physically stronger is going to draw the attention of women that I have absolutely NO interest in. But the pro to that is, it will probably attract tomboys/women who are sporty and can fight well. To me, that's HELLA attractive.
  • Namyar
    The thing is there are some girls i kinda like and wanna approach and i have been working on my confidence a little bit meanwhile. The problem is that now im more confident i feel like its gonna be weird if i gonna pproach them since im sure they know i was shy af (there was one really short interaction between me and them and even if i didn't say anything bad i can say they could sense how insanaly nervous i was, couldnt even look into their eyes). So im kinda affraid that if i would approach them again with more confidence, eye contact, smiling maybe some tease they would feel like im faking it hard just get their numbers or something. I mean i thought i already lost with them, but they still give me some nice look.
    • Kaazsz

      Yea it takes time and I’ve had the same situation as you. But like I said they are like a computer or something. If one day you changed they wouldn’t even notice. Maybe they do but they just don’t act like it. They act like you were always like that.

      Anyways, for you right now there’s no point if you’re still shy. So I’ll say this:

      Just ask her out. Don’t worry about being confident or nothing. Just be your shy self, and literally say “hi, let’s go on a date.” And smile lol. You’d be surprised that being so direct works. You can just say it and even if you’re shy, if she’s still been treating you nicely I think it will go well.

      And Ben if she says no, you’ll see that she responds nicely, rather than when you might usually be rejected in a harsh way because you were not direct and super shy but trying not to be. You get rejected badly. But just being direct and telling her what you want will be a better experience. You might even feel good after even if she says no.

    • Namyar

      Yea i was wondering if i should approach her and just talking with her about somehting like nothing is happening or be direct and just tell her that i approached her because i think she's cute and want to get to know her better or something, because thats what i have on my mind. I just dont have that much experience and dont know if i dont scare them by coming on too strong if i say something like that right away. Good point about that ,, being shy self" i mean i found out that the more im trying to suppress my shyness by trying to be someone im not, the more it makes things worse, unnatural.
      Man i dont know why i make stuff so complicated when its actually really simple. I just gotta say what i have on my mind and be myself. I've seen many videos on internet where these coaches were saying how being yourself doesn't work and that you gotta fake it till you make it and bs like that.
      This is probably the best guide for shyness so far I've read :D

    • Kaazsz

      Imagine a girl came up to you, and was flirting with you. How would you respond? Would you be shy? Would you question whether she likes you or whether she is just being nice? Wouldn’t it be easier if a girl liked you, if she just came up to you and said “hey I like you... I want to go on a date with you...” like it would just make it so much easier! Lol.

      The same applies to you. Girls are much happier when you just say how you feel and tell her exactly what you want. Just tell the truth.

      You can still get rejected for sure. And I’ve been rejected too. And it hurt so bad lol. I hurt all fucking day, my stomach killing me and my heart hurting because I tried to say something to a girl and she went from seeming like she was interested to seeming like I creeped her out.

      But when I have just been direct with a girl, told her exactly what I wanted, and I still got rejected, but it was a nice rejection. Like she smiled, she was friendly, she said no, but she was sorry to say no. She felt bad about having to say no and she treated me so much better than when I was just shy and terrified, couldn’t say directly what I wanted. I fumbled my words and tried to be more confident than I was. I couldn’t do it, and she felt my awkwardness and self doubt and it turned her off.

      Unfortunately that turns women off. That’s why it’s so much better to just be your shy self and be direct and tell her exactly what you want. And when you do that, poof, confidence gained, even if she said no. Soon you’ll be able to be the confident guy you know and wish you could be if only you weren’t so broken and fucked up lol.

      I tried to detail step by step how to get to that point. I’m sure I fumbled my way through that, it’s hard to get it out right. But your comments have helped me understand better how to get the point across and I hope to continue helping dudes like me and you who have been struggling and shy and all that. And we are great guys. Girls would be lucky to have us as boyfriends.

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  • Yaaten
    As I was reading this my primary thought was, "Oh DO get on with it!" Too much waffle! Just get to the damned point!
    • Kaazsz

      can't do that. If I "just get to the point" nobody understands the point.

  • Avicenna
    Good job...
    • Kaazsz

      You really think so? I know people won't read it because it's long. But I actually want to help people and writing some silly short thing is not worth it.

    • msc545

      It is a bit long, but it's also repetitive. You may want to edit it or have someone else do that.

    • Kaazsz

      @msc545 Yea I repeat myself a lot. I can't help but feel like people are stupid and give them the good ol' army soldier treatment. They repeat everything 3 times to you in the army, its annoying but sometimes its needed. And it just gets reinforced when I say something once and people reply with the most retarded answers lol.

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  • Don-__-Don
    This isn't going to help, your take has a flaw.
    • Kaazsz

      No truth would help because people fear the truth.

  • axali1
    I only read last sentence
  • Anonymous
    Wow. That is an awful lot of pussy eating for a newbie.

    I get it. Try to win over the ladies immediately by shitting all over men... get a ton of likes... there are a few guys who do that here already.

    BUT I've never seen such hatred towards men from another man before. Did a guy touch you in a no no spot?
    • Kaazsz

      Did you post this in the wrong post cuz this makes no sense lol.

  • Anonymous
    Remember none of this matters if you aren't at least 5'10"
    • Kaazsz

      So all men below 5'10" are single?

    • MCheetah

      Nah. It's six feet minimum; 5'10" is still in the Failure Zone for height.

  • Anonymous
    This is a lot of verbiage to supposedly solve a simple problem. If you are:

    1. Attractive as a male model
    2. Rich
    3. at least 6' tall

    that is all you need. If any of these things are missing, *nothing* you do will fix the problem (except if you have money, the other two things still count but not nearly as much). Prostitutes are cheaper than dating, friendly and welcoming to repeat customers, and sex is a sure thing with them.
    • Kaazsz

      So you have to be.1% of the male population.

      Women have no choice but to settle for less.

    • Anonymous

      Actually, according to women, it's about 20% of men (look at the OkCupid survey). The other 80% of us are deemed undesirable.

    • Anonymous
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  • Anonymous
    What if you've lost the genetic lottery?
    • tae_ie

      You might have won the personality lottery.

    • Kaazsz

      Most guys have lost the genetic lottery. I see a lot of people who post that Eharmony or ok cupid study w/e it was. And girls rate the majority of men as below average attractiveness. This is confirmed by the many females I know who say an attractive man is a very rare "gem."

      But women don't want to be single. They have no choice but to go past looks. They have no choice to settle for a guy who is less than the perfect vision they wish they could have. So if you lost the genetic lottery you still have just as much a chance as everyone else.

      Unless all you want is a supermodel girlfriend. It seems like some guys think that if they are the bottom of the totem pole they should still be able to get a supermodel girlfriend. Now that's some stupid shit in my opinion.

    • Anonymous

      @Kaazsz make sense!

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  • Anonymous
    Reminds me of a quote that was very powerful, it is:

    "Men have to create their value, women have to protect their value"

The only opinion from girls was selected the Most Helpful Opinion, but you can still contribute by sharing an opinion!