Ditch The Double Standards.. Be Gone With Bias... Don't Alienate With Assumptions...

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

This Mytake is about the many double standards I see both genders seem to be guilty of, the bias based off hatred, and false, inaccurate assumptions.....

Disclaimer: While I'll try to keep it from both the male and female spectrum, if there seems to be more examples from males, it's not meant as man bashing, it's the fact that:

• I'm a female and I personally deal with/see more bias and assumptions from male users because for the most part I try to stay away from posts that are meant to gender bash whether it's from a female or male poster, but doesn't stop people from trying to do so on MY POSTS or MY REPLIES....

Whether this is really an issue in real life, or just on GAG, I'm not sure. But even if it's just on here, to me that's an issue. This is meant to be a site for men and women to be able to get advice from one another, learn from one another so we can better understand one another. When I said this to another user, his reply was:

"BBB you're right this is a site is supposed to be a place where girls can ask guys questions and give honest answers. Not the other way around. It took me a while to figure out why it's girls ask guys. It's because you'll never get an honest answer out of a woman whwreas a relationship is concerned."

But, actually:

Which leads us into the first issue:

Double Standards:

Time and again, I've seen some men on here say the issue they have with feminism is that feminists are sexist and portray all men as bad. That men don't want to be falsely labeled, judged. And I agree they shouldn't be... Yet then, you can't turn around and do the same to women. Sexism has to stop from both sides in order to really resolve the issues (same as in racism)

Other than the obvious double standard of slut (F) vs stud (M), other double standards I see:

*If a woman gets played, used or cheated on by a man "she likes the bad boys" if a man gets played, used or cheated on by a woman "all women are evil"

If someone plays, uses, or cheats on someone they are the bad person. And as smart as we think we are, we are all capable of being fooled by someone, but it easier to blame a whole gender than admit to that apparently...

*The shaming people by height, body weight .. One gender has an issue with the other doing it to them, yet turn around and do the same thing

This "women don't like the nice guy they just want the attractive male" yet men can say they don't want a fat girlfriend or that she has to be attractive, but what if she's really a nice girl 🤔🤔

*Women don't want to be lumped as all the same, yet some women on here, do the same to men....

If you don't want to be attacked just for disagreeing with a male's point of view then don't resort to calling men simps, Incel, gay, etc. just for disagreeing with yours.....

*Men-don't say women just use men for their money and then turn around and say women are only good for sex and nothing else.(because then AREN'T YOU just using women for sex 🤔)

*Women- don't accuse ALL men of using you for sex and then turn around and say men should pay for everything, must have a fancy car, etc. ( because then AREN'T YOU just using men for their money 🤔)

Noone, male or female should use someone with little to no regard to that person's feelings.... And just because someone may have used or hurt you in the past, it's no excuse/justification to turn around and do that to someone else....

There is way more double standards, these are just a few of the many I see on a daily on here, but to simplify, treat others the way YOU want to be treated, regardless of their gender.

The second issue is:

Bias:

Bias, being prejudiced, hating on someone because of their gender is just as wrong as when it's done because of race.... Which is just yet another double standard when people that have an issue with being judged by their skin color (all races do this) turn around and judge someone, hate on someone purely by their gender ...

Some examples of gender bias/prejudice I've seen on here:

"No, but you will be anyway. You are female which means your core is that of a hypocrite."(male user)

"I guarantee they were only with you because they wanted dick.

None of them married you, did they?"(male user actually saying this to another male user who wasn't agreeing with men just because they're men)

"All women lie, cheat, and steal. They have ho concept of the immorality of any of this and are often proud of it."(obviously a male user) really dude 🙄

"Men cheat cause they crave variety, you can be a man’s personal porn star and fuck him 30 times a day and he will still cheat on you if he can, cause they’re all as faithful as their options"(Female user)

"Because "men are trash""(female user)-okay, this one here... No, not all men are trash, my husband certainly wasn't,... But there's definitely PEOPLE that are trash, but that can be male or female

"Most men exit their prime by 35. Biologically women are not attracted to white hairs or sagging skin or weight gain or erectile dysfunction"(female user)

This last example is not only a bias, but leads us into the next issue....

Assumption:

To assume that ALL men or ALL women act, think, behave alike or want the same exact thing just because they're the same gender is ridiculous....

Too many times people give answers based on assumptions or generalizations instead of fact or THEIR OWN personal experience. And using other users replies as proof of fact (especially when those replies are coming from people with an obvious gender bias) does not make it truth...

Some stupid asshat assumptions :

*All men are incapable of being faithful

*All men think about nothing but sex 24/7🙄

*All white men have small penises, All black men have big penises

*All women hate sex but only put up with it to trap men 🙄

*All women are really bi -sexual

**All women can't think logically or are overly emotional

Bashing, trashing, and throwing false accusations at one another won't work to solve any issues, it will just cause further divide... It takes real conversation, ACTUALLY LISTENING to one another, understanding, respect and compassion for one another regardless of gender...

Every human regardless of race, sexual orientation, religion, or gender should have the same equal rights. Feelings for a person should be based on their own personal behavior, not by the behavior of their whole race or gender....

And please remember, it's not wrong to want, express or fight for equality, but it is wrong when you do so by taking those rights from others....

Thank you for reading 💜🙏🏼

"Brainsbeforebeauty"😘

[Kaazsz]

I feel that some double standards are justified. And I don't think the answer to the "sexism" is for both sides to stop. The answer is the same as the answer for racism. Scientific evidence. The science proves we're all the same race. And it seems to me, that the science proves that men and women approach sex dating and love in very different ways. But hey, maybe I'm wrong. I'm not a sexist, but there are things that i believe that no woman has provided a good counter argument.

Ok double standard number 1, slut vs stud. In my opinon, us men are only upset about women being sluts, because we know very well that a woman is a slut, ONLY for the studs. If women were sluts for everyone we'd probably be pretty happy. A guy is a stud, because for a man it automatically means you must be special, to have the attention of so many women. But women automatically have the attention of most men, even ugly fat disgusting smelly women have plenty of male attention. You can say it's a double standard, but the experiences of men and women in terms of sex are polar opposites. And men know very well that most men CANNOT be studs. Wheras all women can easily be sluts. It hurts us men to know when a woman is a slut, because we know that humans are basically animals. Women are sluts for the alpha male, and the rest of us are just betas, who, in the animal kingdom would never have sex, never reproduce, and die virgins. That's why the double standard exists. Because it's not fair for men whatsoever. If we're not a stud, we struggle and suffer to find a girl to want us. And girls don't seem to think that's the case. Girls seem to think all men are these studs running around trying to fuck. We aren't. That's only a very small minority of men. If a man is slightly below average, he might as well die a virgin. If a woman is a hideous obese disgusting smelly beast, she's guaranteed to have 5 kids from 5 differen't baby daddies.

Does the double standard not make sense? Is my perspective simply incorrect? Am I just wrong about it all, and men and women have equal sex across the board, there are no differences between us? It's not a double standard in my opinion. It's simply a logical conclusion.

Us guys, we don't want sluts because we know we are your second choice. That's how i see it, I don't know what other guys would say. If you're a slut, and you were out there fucking tons of guys. We know you were hoping and wishing one of those studs you were fucking would have fallen in love with you and settled down only for you. We know you, the women, want the studs. That's why a stud is a stud. Because he's the guy at the top all the women want, and we the rest of the men know that you want him and not us.

And then, after you had your fun, having sex with tons of men, you decide to settle down. You can't settle with the stud, because he is a stud. He won't settle. He's gonna keep fucking differen't women, you can't tie him down no matter how much you love him.

And so we know you're only settling for your second choice. Us, the beta males you ignored, and suddenly you want us after you have been used up. And we didn't get to have any fun. The beta males have to wait until they are 30+ to have fun. And we want to have fun with sexy young girls, not used up sluts that all of the studs already ran through.

Am I a sexist? Am I refusing to bridge the gap of understanding between men and women? I don't think so. This is what i believe, this is reality as i see it.

[Kaazsz]

All of that said, my counter argument to myself is, that not all girls are out there being sluts. Many girls choose not to be sluts. Or many girls are shamed by society so much, that they are afraid to be sluts.

I think most guys wish they could have the sexy beautiful women, and we are mad that all the sexy beautiful girls are fucking the studs. But also, the ugly girls and the fat girls are also fucking the studs. But even still, that percentage of the female population is smaller than the whole.

So it may just be, that the beautiful people do a whole lot of fucking, and the rest of us are just jealous. Except the slutty average and ugly girls, who do exist. For men, it's only the studs. It's only the guys at the top who get to have their fun. ALL women can have their fun if they so choose.

So while based on population and sexual activity, I think not nearly all women are sluts, many guys do not want to be with a slut because he knows how they get down. He knows he's her second choice. If a girl is a slut I think its 100% legit to turn her down and refuse to date her.

When a man is a stud, it doesn't matter. I've seen it in real life. All the girls know he fucked every other girl. And all the girls can't wait until it's her turn. I know tons of girls and I know them well. It's like the best kept secret. That girls know which guys are the studs, they know which other girls he fucked, and they all can't wait to be next in line. You can't pull the wool over my eyes or act like I don't know. Because I do know. I've seen it over and over and over. I've heard girls talking in their little secret female cloisters. Women hide this shit from us because y'all don't want the majority of men to know the truth. That the majorty of us are just beta males that you don't want at all, and only settle for when you're used up.

[Kaazsz]

And so men have every right to judge and avoid slutty women. Because we know we are not your first choice. We know you are only begrudgingly settling for the beta male provider, and you're going to treat us like shit when we're married because we know that's what women do. They hate their non alpha, non stud husband and they treat him like shit until he dies early cuz he's tired of your shit lol.

And some of you women are good and you don't think a guy needs to be mr alpha superstar. And those women are the ones who deserve good men.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

While I appreciate you made your points without getting rude, I still disagree... My husband want what anyone would label a stud, but he was MY STUD, he wasn't rich or what others might of labeled handsome but he was decent honest hard working great father great man and didn't prescribe to this gender bullshit, don't blame women of you can't find or keep a woman cuz what woman would want to be with a man that thinks that Negatively about all women... It's not about being a stud, it's about being respectful

[Kaazsz]

I was going to reply to more of the double standards but this is too long already.

[Kaazsz]

Well most women have to settle regardless. If we're talking about double standards, I'm saying it's not a double standard for a man to be a stud and a woman to be a slut. Any woman can be a slut, all she has to do is open her legs. Very very few men can be studs. They are special for whatever reason.

[Kaazsz]

And it's not about me. I'm tall and handsome and girls love me. But I still think i see the truth, because i grew up shy and afraid of women. They still liked me because I was good looking and I didn't know it. But even now, they don't care who I am. All they care is that I'm good looking. If I didn't have such an abused childhood I would have been a stud too. But all the female attention I got, I was terrified of because of how I grew up.

Now I feel like I can bridge the gap between men who struggle with women, and men that women chase after. So I'm just trying to see it from both sides.

[Anonymous]

Great take! I agree with most everything you've said. You WILL however get some pretty significant pushback in a few areas. Starting with this one:

"Sexism has to stop from both sides in order to really resolve the issues (same as in racism)"

Problem is there's a disturbing trend where an increasing number of people do NOT share your view in quotes above. It's become MOST explicit with race. There's a notion out there that ONLY white people can be racist and that it's NOT POSSIBLE for black people to have racists opinions with regards to white people. This is sometimes justified with a "power" dynamic. The argument goes that it's only an "ism" (racism or sexism) if the "powerful" group has a view on the less powerful group and not the other way around. I personally think that this view of the world is racist or sexist straight-up, but it's out there and people need to push back against it HARD.

In the middle part of the take you get into all the annoying whining people on here do when they get dumped. MAN, is that annoying! But the biggest problem that I see isn't the use of double standards--it's that people aren't taking ownership of THEIR RESPONSIBILITY for what went wrong. "But I didn't do ANYTHING wrong! I was taking advantage of!" I can hear the whining already! "But, but, but. . . you're VICTIM BLAMING!" *facepalm* STFU people! The point is to try to LEARN something so that you don't have the SAME FUCKING THING happen to you again. That could be changing the way you behave, but just as importantly it could be to try to find the SIGNS that you missed so that next time you can make a BETTER CHOICE of a partner!

Fully agree with your take on assumptions at the end. I see WAY too many bad assumptions on here!

GREAT take!

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

👏👏👏👏I agree 💯 on your racism points... And all your other points as well! I couldn't state all the issues it this would of at the least been a series of mytakes, if not a book 🙄 lol I also agree too many can't accept their own blame, which I did touch in briefly, that's part of the bias, easier to say all females or men are bad instead of what you yourself could do different... Whether it's race, gender, relationships, etc... It takes working together, not against...
But, great, great answer!!💜🙂

[Opinion Owner]

Thanks for most helpful!

[gothwillow]

Great MyTake! It's well-written and has good examples. Also love the editing!
Respect for the Audre Lorde quote!

"To assume that ALL men or ALL women act, think, behave alike or want the same exact thing just because they're the same gender is ridiculous...

Too many times people give answers based on assumptions or generalizations instead of fact or THEIR OWN personal experience. And using other users replies as proof of fact (especially when those replies are coming from people with an obvious gender bias) does not make it truth..."

I wish I could send this to a certain influencer on this site that ask generic questions and reproduces the same old cliches and tropes about gender roles.
Each individual is different, unique, and complex. Not all black men think the same, not all women like bad boys.. People aren't just memes.
I wish all people learned to understand and listen to each other and embrace our differences as individuals xx

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

"Each individual is different, unique, and complex. Not all black men think the same, not all women like bad boys.. People aren't just memes.
I wish all people learned to understand and listen to each other and embrace our differences as individuals xx"...
Very well said yourself!!! Great answer
And there's a lot of people on here both male and female that are guilty of that bs negative gender stereotyping...

[Anonymous]

In my opinion society as a whole should accept women and men of all body types not criticise or make a meme of them because they don’t fit in “society’s beauty standards”. Society should also accept women whether they have no body hair or have lots of body hair (which they don’t and I find it unfair for other women who were born hairy and can’t do anything about it). Social media is toxic for both women and men, that’s why both men and women had unrealistic expectations of how a man should have six packs, muscular. And how women should have a flat stomach, big boobs, large ass, sharp nose, thick lips, double eye lids, no body hair etc. I wish social media didn’t exist that way we can accept people for being different. I hate it when social media exists

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

I agree... Life can be hard, we should do what we can to get through it together, not Alienate one another through bias, hatred and unrealistic expectations we try to hold others to that don't even meet themselves

[AlphaGhost]

Nope having six packs or being fit is not gona kill you and its not responsible for multiple life threatening disorders but being FAT/Western Fat is fucking medical disorder and shouldn't be normalised.
I am not saying woman should be in perfect child bearing figure (I am not that kind of crazy) but there are certain Medical/scientific issues that should be kept out of general public hands cuz stuffing yourself to death is DISEASE according to Modern and historical science.

[JoJoiLL]

Very well written and worthy post.

I feel like a lot of the time, people make prejudiced or biased comments due to laziness rather than genuine opinion. I think we're all susceptible to reacting, based on stereotypes and labels at times because those are the most readily available thought constructs that help us navigate social interactions on a day to day basis.

But we should try to do better. I think the written word offers the best possible opportunity for this, since we take more time to write than speak, it offers more time spent thinking about our words and whether they truly reflect our thoughts and feelings. Also our written words last longer and have the potential to influence more people for longer so we have an additional responsibility.

I loved the quotes you have include on this post, one in particular meant a lot to me personally:

"It is time that we all see gender as a spectrum instead of two sets of opposing ideals"

Can I ask who this quote was made by?

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Well said! I try to individually base my views about a person by the way they present themselves, because if go by stereotypes and labels, there's the potential of missing out on what could be a good person, great friend etc. and to also weed out those that wouldn't want as such. I hate these gender biases because people are using them to hate on one another and attack one another. And there's already too much hate and divide in the world today...

[JoJoiLL]

I agree with you - intentional or unintentional gender bias creates a barrier to friendship and love.

But whether a Bias is formed from laziness / ignorance or hate, we have the power to influence a change in perspective through practicing and encouraging gender neutrality in our writing and everyday interactions.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

I agree!!

[Massageman]

Great piece. When does the book come out? (That's a compliment, not sarcasm!) :- )

I still have problems with "gender" being a "spectrum" or a continuum.
God made the male and then God made the female. He didn't make them 93% male-ish/7% female-ish and 96% female-ish and 4% male-ish- or whatever- respectively.

Think of it this way: God gives both man and woman specializations- both in a physical and spiritual sense- but not with the intent to box up our roles, but to give us a framework for what matters most to Him: partnership. Just as God partners with us and partners with Himself in the form of a Triune being complete and fully functioning, God desires for the same for men and women in the context of society and in family.

Men are great at something and women are great at another thing, but it doesn't always have to be that way. At the end of the day, what matters is that we work with one another to carry out God's will and purpose for our lives no matter what our roles may be at work, in marriage, in church or in any other community for that matter.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Great answer!! I'll put my book out when you put yours out.. Also a compliment not insult... But then your answers are usually always on point!!💜🙂

[Massageman]

I've done two, but not on philosophical stuff: they are very focused guidebooks - and I did them ages ago. One on graphics, and the other on Aromatherapy.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Really? That's awesome!

[JackSmy]

I can't disagree with almost everything you said.
But, being raised, and growing up, in this REALITY that is, and I AGREE, Biased, and abusive, sexist, and even racist, how can those people, MALE OR FEMALE, see the difference, with what they have been taught? THEY MEAN NO OFFENSE, but only know what they grew up with!

I respect women, and I assume that they are AT LEAST, my EQUAL, but so rarely, do any accept that, and BE THAT EQUAL!!
But how do WE DECIDE, WHAT IS "EQUALITY"?

Tell me when I am misunderstanding, and being sexist, because I might not even REALIZE!! I NEVER intend it, but with the ideas, now, even breathing the same air, might get me in TROUBLE!! LOL!! So sad, and pathetic!!
Someone posted that saying, "You look beautiful" to a woman, might be considered 'SEXIST'!

When does simply saying "Hello" or "Good Morning" become 'sexist' if someone thinks that his "tone" is offensive? Where does it end?
What if she just casually hugs a close male friend, in the office, because he helped her with something, or on his birthday, or anniversary with the company? Is that "sexual abuse" if he didn't expect, or want that?

[Bluemax]

Very well put. Here's hoping your audience listens.

I do have to comment critically on one thing."This "women don't like the nice guy they just want the attractive male" yet men can say they don't want a fat girlfriend or that she has to be attractive, but what if she's really a nice girl"

I believe that men and women can pick whom they want to date, and NO ONE should be criticized for refusing to date someone because of their appearance. There are evolutionary reasons why we find people physically attractive. It certainly isn't fair, and it's the cause of much hurt and pain (and I feel for those people... I really do because my brother and I have held them in our arms as they were sobbing). Even if the person being rejected is sweet, kind, wonderful, intelligent, and a host of other positive qualities but there is no chance that the rejector could *ever* find that person physically attractive, then they should be able to reject without criticism of how shallow they are. It's not shallow, it's the way humans are made. And for those who say, "It is shallow, but we're all shallow," I respond by saying if everyone is shallow, then NO ONE is shallow.

Now here's the biggest double standard which you never mentioned. It has nothing to do with gender, because I've seen it in all genders equally.

[Bluemax]

For the purposes of this conversation, "attractive" is defined as people who the majority of humans find physically attractive, and "unattractive" is defined as people who the majority of humans find physically unattractive. (Honestly, I can't believe I have to define that as it should be obvious, but it seems I've had to in times past and it tries my patience)

When an attractive person rejects someone because they find that person physically unattractive, *for the most part* it's seen as common sense. He/She can be with someone more attractive, so why wouldn't they? True, some people criticize them (often the people being rejected) harshly. But *for the most part*, disinterested third parties don't.

[Bluemax]

However, when an unattractive person rejects someone because they find that person physically unattractive, he/she is *MUCH* more likely to be called a hypocrite. He/she is *much* more likely to be lectured about how they need to look past all that and focus on other things. He/she is *much* more likely to be lectured about how looks aren't everything (if that were the case, why aren't we lecturing attractive people the same way?). This stupidly assumes that the rejector *hasn't* looked past appearance, or that he/she *hasn't* attempted to focus on other things. This assumes the rejector doesn't know that looks aren't everything (which of course they're not... but let's not pretend that they're nothing)

[Bluemax]

BBB, my friends, and whoever else is reading this, the EXACT SAME FORCES OF EVOLUTION work for EVERYONE. Attractive people generally want to enjoy having sex with their partner, and for most of us this means finding that partner physically attractive. But the double standard is when people assume unattractive people somehow don't want to enjoy sex with their partner as much as you and I do. They assume that somehow the same forces of evolution that have worked their magic for 3 million years (half a billion if you count the evolution of sex itself) are somehow *not* at work for the unattractive. That they will somehow *not* feel the same revulsion that the rest of us feel at being physically intimate with someone they find unappealing.

[Bluemax]

The unattractive are *routinely* told to manage or lower their expectations (and don't get me started about how stupid it is to use the word "expectations" when what they really mean is "desires") and people stupidly congratulate themselves on how they've come up with a brilliant solution. A solution that they would NEVER tell the attractive.

I get that there are people for whom physical attraction isn't important at all. They are the outliers, however. Not the norm. My advice to the unattractive is not to ignore evolutionary psychology. My advice has always been become attractive. Most of them can do it. As for those who can't do that, then I'm honest enough to say I have no advice, and it's entirely possible no good solution exists for them.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

The "nice girl" ... I was pointing out the hypocrisy/double standard. I didn't say you Shouldn't go for attractive.. I'm saying if men can go based off looks attraction, why can't women? But on here, time and again, I see where women are bashed for going for the tall guy, or the handsome guy, or hot body guy, or big dick dude... That's the point I was making... If it's okay for men to go by what attracts them, why are women labeled shallow, or picky, etc for doing the same?

[Bluemax]

I understood that's what you meant.

However, whether you intended to or not, your comments brought to my mind another double standard which I decided to mention.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

👍👍👍

[White_King2000]

This post is very biased and hypocritical as it a post about double standards that apply only to double standards men may hold. In fact you are holding men to a different standard than you are women.
1 "
If a woman gets played, used or cheated on by a man "she likes the bad boys" if a man gets played, used or cheated on by a woman "all women are evil"". If she doesn't learn and continues to date the same kind of guys this is generally true. I have a male friend who dates narcissistic bunny boilers repeatedly and I can honestly say he's into crazy bitches. 2. Women generally don't want a fat or chubby guy and usually have a preference for taller guys. Women even average looking are less likely to settle for an average looking guy compared to men. 3. Women seemingly no matter how successful they personally are rarely settle for a man who makes less than them, its a major reason so many successful single money struggle to find a partner because unlike men they are often unwilling to lower thae bar. This is likely a biological thing to do with a womens nesting instinct and a need for the man to be a provider. 5. I could go on all day but if you dont want to sound like a hypocrite while talking about bias and double standards towards women maybe don't single out single out men and launch a sexist rant.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Reread I called out both sexes... So don't even try to go there!! I'm not no sexist feminist.. but funny it's some sexist men calling ALL WOMEN sexist where I KNOW All men ain't like that... But thanks for proving my point 🙂👍

[White_King2000]

Well you proved their point

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

No I didn't... Apparently you didn't read... The examples I have weren't my examples... They were all examples of things said and read on here, guess you didn't get that 🤣 cuz I'm not sexist, I just don't like hypocrites anymore than sexist idiots, male or female

[White_King2000]

Yet you hypocriticaly write a mytake that rants about men being hypocritical about women 🤔

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

No I didn't, It was about BOTH SEXES doing it! Did I not call it women who do it too 🤔🤔 can you not read? Or you just can't comprehend? But, I'm done... Living an opinion is one thing, trying to falsely label me something I'm not, well isn't that what this whole take was about? Once again, thanks tho for being an example of what I meant... Lololol

[White_King2000]

Seems hypocritical

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Sure, if you say so 🤷🏼‍♀️ lolol

[White_King2000]

Agreed. I do say so. Thank you for admiting your mistake and allowing yourself to grow as a person.✅☢♻️🚹🏋‍♀️♂️

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Hahahaha whatever you smoking, you need to leave that shit alone 🤣🤣🤣

[cth96190]

I react to females the way that I do as a result of what I have experienced and observed.
If a dog is kicked often enough, he/she learns to stay away from the source of the kicks.
When every female I have approached has either rejected me (often in unpleasant ways), used me, played me, or broken my heart, how would you expect me to react to females?
After three workplace false allegations of sexual harassment, how would you expect me to react to women?
I will not get into an elevator if there is a woman in it.
After losing two jobs because of accusations of wrongthink and the respective females organising Feminist cancel mobs, how would you expect me to react to being in the proximity of women while I am working?
One of the allegations of wrongthink happened because a female came on to me and was outraged when I told her that I was not interested because I could not take a 65 per cent risk (she had been divorced once previously) of losing a house.
In both men and women, there are hard wired behaviours and character traits that are expressed in all individuals to varying degrees. Those behaviours and character traits are the result of millions of years of natural selection.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

But everybody has those stories. I was advised as a child, had a physically abusive first husband, I've had guys try to use for sex but yeah I'm blonde not stupid... I still don't use that to say all men are bad... And my second husband was a good man

[The_Inquisitor]

As long as the stupid and unhinged are given a voice peace between any groups can never exist.

The idea of equality among genders is the same as equality amongst people. It can only work if both sides have a firm understanding to what that means.

If a guy is expected to pay for a girls dinner thats not equality, If a girl works less than a man but gets paid the same thats not equality either.

from what I have seen women who fight for "equality" in the usa don't want the bad parts that come with it.
A man is expected to never hit a women even if she is hitting him in public (Double standard) With true equality a man will without hesitation beat the shit out of a women assaulting him.

This comes to equality of physiques which isn't a thing. Men on average are bigger and have more muscle mass making us stronger.

Not putting women down when saying this but its true! we are filled with testosterone much more than any given female, thus we grow physically different.

So the perfect example of equality would be if a girl and guy go out on a date and both pay for their meals, both do courteous things such as holding the door for each other. Both respect each others boundaries, both go to their work where they are paid the correct amount of Money based on their daily work. <- this is a pipe dream because as someone who works as a domestic trucker I see the inequality in play.

On average I see at least 2 groups a day 1 male and 1 female unload my truck, I almost always see the female lift and carry less than the male who lifts and carries almost twice that of her.
At the same time she is paid the same as him though she is not working as fast or productively as he is. He is being paid far less than she is at that point because he is doing more work for the same amount while she is putting in more effort to do less work but get the same pay.

[PBandJ_Nerd]

Can I just say that as a person who never really heard such things (such as guys saying women are like old cars or women saying men only want sex and everything else) that it has messed up my brain a bit. I sometimes think I should've never known this stuff, but then if I didn't then I wouldn't realize that modern dating got even worse. People are being toxic. And some people don't want to be friends with the opposite sex, only date them. I find that a huge problem since being friends teaches you so many things.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

I mostly see it on here, I've only once ever met someone IRL that was so toxic and negative towards Females and yeah couldn't be friends with someone like him. Anymore than I'd be friends with a female that was that toxic negative towards men..
So it's it really a problem IRL or on here 🤷🏼‍♀️
But the more it happens on social media the more it will spill out into the real world and real relationships with so many impressionable young people that user the internet and the ones that think because it's online, it MUST be true

[virtue2332]

I agree there are a lot of double standards and a fair amount of trolling done on this site. As a man I'll be the first to admit that I'm embarrassed when I read some of the comments made on the guys side. I'm sure some of them are meant sarcastically or for a laugh. I mean I hope we are more evolved than that and can't possibly truly believe some of that. For the most part just don't engage or respond in any way to those people. Block them if you have to. There are some of us that believe in forums like this because it allows for people to get different perspectives and points in view so we can evolve and open our minds to new concepts and ideas and Ideals. In basic terms we do not exist without one another and half of our existence is not more or less important than the other.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Very well said!! Thank you!! I agree 💯

[OmNomaly]

I would absolutely love for egotism, sexism, racism, etc. to be left out of intellectual conversation. As you mentioned before. This is supposed to be a safe place for both genders to ask questions they have.
This isn't Facebook or Twitter or some other venue for people to just talk crap about one another or even for that matter use this site as some kind of hook up place.
I have seen quite a few users in the sexuality area of the site openly looking for people to go onto their onlyfans or for sexting and hooking up.
The sexuality section has been getting pretty risque, opposed to asking questions in a more appropriate way.
e. g. Users posting half naked pictures of themselves and asking how people would rate them.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Thank you!!! Couldn't agree more!! But with everything in life, some asshats ruin it for everyone else...

[FatherJack]

A decent & balanced take , and true. I have had many a negative experience with women & the marriage I ended was a nightmare , but I made what turned out to be bad choices. " But there's definitely PEOPLE that are trash, but that can be male or female " ... Yes !! And too friggin' many !! No bitterness towards women ( I have daughters ) , I have chosen to remain single , as have little need for people , prefer to keep self to self , and even if I wanted to date , I cannot compete in the sausage fest ultra male heavy " dating market " as I am a single dad. With FT work , own ventures & parenting , on top of a self improvement quest, I'm fully committed as it is.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

I hear yah... Although my kids are grown, I need lots of self improving

[bamesjond0069]

This is the most immature feminist me me me rant I've seen in awhile. It can all be summed up in how @Brainsbeforebeauty describes the double standards of sluts and studs.

Men think women who sleep around are sluts. Women think men who sleep around are studs. Instead of accepting the genders differences, and instead of slut shaming men and refusing to treat them well in order to align the sexes and remove the double standard, what y'all actually do is bitch and moan and nag at men to simply agree with you.

How about no. How about you agree with us if you hate double standards so much? Valid question. I expect answers.

All those hot rich guys that get lots of girls... block them, call them a skank and tell them to fuck off, dont give them your phone numbers... only date very innocent or better yet virginal men, how does that sound? Then there would be no more double standard.

Except y'all are horrified to force yourself to not be into hot rich attractive men... and gasp forced to find virgins the hottest... surprise... were just as horrified to be with a damn slut.

So, like most women, you are just being manipulative bringing up this tired ass double standard shit. It takes two sexes to create a double standard. You are just as responsible for it. y'all choose not to hold men accountable. Thats your problem.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

First off, I DID SAY both men and women are guilty of double standards did I not?
Second, thank you for proving my point about asshat assumptions by saying ALL females go after Rick men cuz that's pure bullshit!! you could be a millionaire and I wouldn't fuck you with my worst enemy's vagina cuz you're ride and sexist!! I kept this take about both genders that do this but your whole answer is directed just at females, and then you're also trying to personally attack me... Either learn how to have an actual discussion like an adult or I'll just block you cuz I'm really tired of dealing with your negativity and the fact you can't even act like a civil adult...

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

*rich
*Rude

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Oh and also, it's other men that excuse men sleeping around like sluts...
And I'm damn sure no feminist nor was anything in this post... And don't quite get how saying treat people the way you would like to be treated and both genders should treat each other with respect and understanding could be described as me me me but, okay 🤷🏼‍♀️

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

More feminist me me me shit 🤣🤣
Have You Ever Met That Person You Wouldn't Fuck With Your Worst Enemy's Vagina Or Dick? ↗

[bamesjond0069]

What does men have to do with it? Im not gay. Idc what men think about my dating life

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Now you just clearly ain't making any dang sense lololol but why am I not surprised 🤣🤣🤣

[zollo]

lol wait what? How would dating a man who is a virgin end all double standards?

[bamesjond0069]

@zollo if women as a whole preferred men who were virgins over experienced men... then what would the double standard be?

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

@bamesjond0069 so a man with multiple partners is experienced but a female with same amount is a slut... Careful, your sexist double standards showing again, you might wanna tuck that back in 🤣🤣 but thanks once again for being the perfect shining example of exactly what this take was trying to address 👍👍👏👏🙂🤣

[zollo]

I'm not sure I understand what you're trying to say. A double standard isn't a set thing, like there are multiple double standards for men, women, racial groups, gender etc. Like if a fat ugly guy goes up to a super pretty girl and asks her out and she rejects him she's usually seen as shallow and mean. If a fat ugly girl goes up to a really attractive guy and asks to date him and he rejects her the girl is seen as desperate. That is a double standard. When a girl cries at a movie it's seen as normal or even over emotional but if a guy cries at a movie it's seen as weak or too emotional. That's a double standard.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

@zollo 👏👏👏 thank you!!! Right!! People need to just stop already and worry more bout themselves and less bout others

[bamesjond0069]

@zollo if i think women crying is normal and you think men crying are pussies well thats a double standard. If YOU dont want it to be a double standard then you should not think men crying are pussies and its normal. IF I dont want it to be a double standard then i should think women who cry are pussy wimps.

I dont get to decide what you think and you dont get to decide what i think.

So whats wrong with the double standard? Seems fine to me. you're entitled to judge men in ways that make sense to you and im entitled to judge women in ways that make sense to me.

Deciding not to stop the double standard on my side and bitching about your view is manipulative. Only people who have no empathy would do such a thing. I believe you know whats best for you and im not you. I trust you have reasons for your opinion. To guilt you into doing something you dont believe is right is an emotional abuse. And thats what men or women who continually harp on double standards are doing.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

@bamesjond0069 dude BYE already...

[zollo]

"emotional abuse" XD calling that overboard is an understatement. !. I never said that the examples I gave of a double standard was what I believed. 2. This is a discussion/ argument/ debate, there's nothing manipulative or deceptive about this conversation. It what people do to voice they're beliefs and opinions, lawyers, politicians, companies, coworkers, even children do this.

[AFellowWeeb]

''so a man with multiple partners is experienced but a female with same amount is a slut'' - pretty simple, miss brainiac: most men prefer to be the dominant one in bed, and MOST women, like to be dominated in bed, hell, the most searched porn category for women nowadays, are rape/forced sex/bdsm ( receiver ), so ofc, most common sex positions are missionary and doggystyle ( both where the man is the one on control ), it doesn't take u practice to learn how to stand and take it, but it takes more practice to last and dont get tired of pumping @Brainsbeforebeauty

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

@AFellowWeeb omg really lolol wow so men need to fuck any female with a hole to get experience? Wow okay sure.. Quality over quantity.. You can practice with one person... But nice try.. But uh try again 🤣🤣

[AFellowWeeb]

bruh, i didn't said that, i said that, IN MOST CASES, the dominant one in bed, the one that does most of the work, is the man, therefore, guys need more experience than girls ( this can be multiple tries with the same girl, or hole, how u called them )

[AndrewMG]

Idiots are idiots to be fair but even as a man I have to admit my gender can be f*cking D! ckheads at time! My personal bugbear is that every "International Womens Day (8th March)" a bunch of male dickheads send tweets asking why there isn't an "International Mens day"... the irony is that there is one..(It's November 19th by the way). but these bellend's rather than take 5 seconds to google something spend twice the time sending an ill informed hate filled tweets somehow pretending they are the victims... F*cking idiots!

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

And as a woman, I have to admit some women can be fucking retarded 🤣
And isn't that the point call out the dickhead and retards, male and female, but don't hate on all for the actions of some... It would be stupid for me to hate you just for your gender, then I'd have one less friend...💜🙂

[AndrewMG]

@Brainsbeforebeauty Exactly mate, (I mean technically I'm a bit of a Dickhead...((would a non-dickhead mix milk with lager? but lets face it I try to be a nice Dickhead lol))... I get on with you because you're a nice lass (potentially a dickhead but a nice lass all the same!! lol). But in all seriousness I make friends on the back of whether I feel someone is a good person, making assumptions whether that is based on gender/sexuality/race etc reflects more on me than the person I'm attempting to befriend.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Aye me Dick mean duck 🤣🤣🤣

[AndrewMG]

I think I just fell in love! lol

[AndrewMG]

I mean you got the sentence completely wrong... but it was the effort I fell in love with! lol

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Lololol wait isn't that what it was 🤔 well least I tried lololol

[AndrewMG]

@Brainsbeforebeauty It was close enough duck! Talking of double standard a guy on here CoachTanthony (Or fake Tony) went to the extent of creating a fake character Purple Rose 1 minute after he blocked me and then her first reply was jumping to his defence and blocking me one minute later -strangely from the same IP address-so after years of being a mediocre run of the mill guy on this app, I think I may of arrived lol

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Lololol you've arrived son 😂

[AndrewMG]

Honestly I now feel a bit of a dick because I've just sent a question with that same info, so I'm as guilty as the guy that raised the argument! I mean my football team drew 0-0 today-a rare occasion they didn't lose, I finished work early, spoke to my family on the phone and taught Brains a bit of Nottinghamshire slang, but still managed to get annoyed by a random guy on the internet! lol

[Madmegalomaniac]

I disagree for the most part, and it involves a lot of appeal to emotion.


Pejudices themselves can be rational or irrational. Lumping them all into a single category and assuming we should never make them ignores the nature of what causes a person to be prejudiced.


Most prejudices and stereotypes are rooted in noticing behavioural tendencies among people with similar traits. Girls are stereotyped a certain way because they've been observed to have those behavioural tendencies.


These observations may be rooted in confirmation bias from men who have experienced rejection, and they may not be.


But they are not always irrational. And making judgments based on them can often be a perfectly sensible thing to do.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Really 🤔 saying all women hate sex? I know as a female THAT'S not true lol
All women are gold diggers, that's not based on facts that's based on bias and false assumptions...
The majority of child molesters are white males, so would it be right to assume ALL WHITE MALES are child molesters? No it would be not. Just because some women/men lie or cheat don't mean it's okay, right, or true to assume ALL do...
But, thank you for reading and replying 🙂💜

[raven6933]

I agree for the most part but all women are crazy then again so are all men🤣🤣🤣. I'm pretty sure I gave an opinion somewhere about the woman's fight for equality. If not here goes again, women fight for equality in the workplace and understandably but that's were it should end. Woman was not put here to be man's equal. She plays a much more vital role. To quell man's anger, to nurture and help shape all to non violence, yet they have been lead to believe that they are inferior not superior since the turn of time. Instead of fighting and bickering all the time they need to be help holding each other up. For all the males that think it's cool to bash or use women, do you approve of the same being done to your mother? They should keep in mind without women there would be no men. This may sound sexist but all women should be treated as a delicate flower no matter her physical power. They are not floor mats, punching bags or objects for nothing more than sex.

[Simplismilez]

Great mytake.. I see this all the time too. I really try not to generalize men and I try to go based off the individuals actions but when I don't understand something usually coming on here and asking for advice makes me regret it. I don't believe all men are bad and have ulterior motives but most answers I get are that. I don't know anymore.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Don't let GAG do that... This is supposed to be a site where you should be able to do that, that's what it's meant to be... But there's too many that are so caught up in their own self hatred, pathetic lives, that the only way they can feel better is to hate in or put others down, but it only works if you let it... There's also some good people on here like @Lliam @ Cynicaldreamer @OlderAndWiser to name a few if you want good honest advice

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

@Cynicaldreamer

[OlderAndWiser]

@Brainsbeforebeauty I appreciate your kind words!

[Lliam]

I want to give you a hug and a high five for this one, bbb. I couldn't agree more. Stereotyping is... ignorant.
Some people lock themselves in cages of their own making and then blame others for being locked up.
People project their own feelings on others.

People should open their minds and listen to others. They might learn something.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

I could give you the same.. Because once again... Very well said!!👏👏🤗🤗🤗
Especially the:
"Some people lock themselves in cages of their own making and then blame others for being locked up."...
Couldn't agree more!

[Lliam]

Thank you my wise friend.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Thank you friend 🤗

[KingdomForAKiss]

Very well said @Brainsbeforebeauty. If only more people were willing to listen, willing to learn, and open to understanding instead of allowing their pain or anger to lead them through these assumptions. While there is a small amount of validity (without which stereotypes wouldn't exist), it doesn't equate to the sum of all men or women.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Thank you 💜🙂 and we'll said yourself! 🌹

[CubsterShura]

How coincidental that I discovered a video of a woman smoking in public and being screamed at and asked to leave. In our country, it is considered terrible for a girl to smoke whereas it is normal for men but women can consume tobacco in other ways. I find it so stupid... we all have lungs and if women can consume tobacco in other ways then what makes cigarette any different... stupid people!

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Right! That does seem really stupid

[zeitgeist057]

Excellent take, but my fear is that it falls on deaf ears. I hope that maybe at least one person will read this and possibly shift there negative stereotyping and perspective a little bit.
But I have a few quotes of my own that I have found to be true through the years: “You can’t tell someone something they don’t already know.““Haters gonna hate.”

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

“You can’t tell someone something they don’t already know.““Haters gonna hate.”
Very true!
And, yeah I know it wouldn't accomplish much, but at least it helps weed out the people that are on the same page from the sexist asshats, cuz I don't deal with sexist asshats whether they be male or female, I keep it even Steven lol there's too many real issues in life that should be addressed, these gender issues that don't really need to be an issue gets tiring.. I'm too old for the nonsense lol