Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health 
This is a continuation of The Better Blowjob: A How-to Guide [Part 1]
![The Better Blowjob: A How-to Guide [Part 2]](https://cf.girlsaskguys.com/a64296/80d3e59a-6136-474a-9ac6-0dc827510c49.jpg)
It's in the Eyes 👁👁
Looking up into his eyes is WAY more impactful than you think. Every guy wants this. No need to look up the whole time, but intermittently, make contact!
And the Mouth 👄
Periodically take him outside your mouth and rub him back and forth on your wet lips. Or better yet, if your lips are dry, use him to naturally moisten them. Hum. (Hum a tune, if you like. Can he guess which one?)
Now speak. Look him in the eyes and say either in a whisper, or a low, sultry tone:
"I want you to take it out. I want to suck you off."
"I love your cock... how hard it is... how much it turns me on."
"I'm going to make you cum. Now."
![The Better Blowjob: A How-to Guide [Part 2]](https://cf.girlsaskguys.com/a64296/1db91049-e15e-464d-a82d-7718033b1480.jpg)
But Not the Teeth. Teeth = Bad! 🦷
As Edna Mode says, "No capes!" and as all men say, "No teeth!" Many a-blowjob have been ruined because of pain... and teeth. Always, always retract them.
However... there are some, occasional, guys who actually want to feel the teeth grazing (not biting, chewing, but grazing), as this gives them a certain thrill, reminding them what’s at stake and how vulnerable they are. But this is the equivalent of a girl wanting to be choked, or wanting her head forced down. It is not for everyone. Teeth involve massive amounts of trust, and only a masochist wants pain. For the vast majority of men, you’re going to potentially psychologically scar him if you actually inflict pain. Make this pleasurable, not painful! Sex is supposed to be about physical and emotional release. Blowjobs are not the time for BDSM... unless he's particularly into playing with the pleasure-pain threshold. Some are. But if in doubt, just don't.
“As long as you don't use teeth, you will rock.”
“Let’s... Play Ball!” ⚾
Most men like some ball play. And it's a good way to maintain contact but take a break from more intense stimulation on the shaft and head. Start gently, first just barely making contact with hands to feel out your particular guy's sensitivity. You’re not selecting fruit at the market. With one hand, cup gently, hold still for a moment (again, all pauses build anticipation), then begin to massage them, as well as the lower part of the shaft where it meets the scrotum. Some also like holding the skin tight at the base of the shaft. A subtle motion of shifting the testicles from side to side is often pleasing.
Now the tongue. Use it to lick, move them around, and maybe suck, though, again, not too hard. Do not scratch or bite. This will extinguish the fire. Be gentle unless he tells you otherwise. Do not pull or tug, unless he specifically requests it. Err on the side of gentle, always.
The takeaway is: Don't squeeze or grab; caress. Be gentle or just leave them alone. Or you'll do this to your man, "Every time my girlfriend touches my balls, I start to have a panic attack. It feels... good... bit it's also torture."
"Rub his balls when he is about to cum. That feels freakin' amazing." You will feel them pull up on their own when he is about to cum.
A Few Facts About the Scrotum
The left testicle hangs lower than the right because the left side descends first during birth. Approximately 75% of men hang to the left.
The 'cremaster reflex' is an involuntary physiological trigger where the testicles pull up and in when his inner thigh is touched. This is a protective instinct.
When exposed to heat, the scrotum loosens and pushes away from the body, but when cold or aroused, the testicles pull up into the body for protection (sex can be dangerous business.)
Mix it Up
Up until the final minutes when he is close to cuming (when consistency is paramount), don't repeat the same movements, in the same sequence (or in every session, for that matter); he will become desensitized. Novelty is more vaulable than routine. Think random and unpredictable. The key is to explore, watch for responses, and adapt. Style is borne of substance, and the most important part of being a responsive lover is just that - being engaged and responsive.
In general, light strokes are more ticklish. They work well in the beginning, and are fun on occasion. All blowjobs must include them, all guys like them, but they typically will not result in orgasm. "If a girl is stroking me, I’d like a mix of both. Light would be playful and feminine. Hard would be intense and more dominant."
Position the tip in the centre of your palm. Then grab firmly for a couple of strokes. Then tease him with something else. Keeping him on the edge of cuming (edging: bringing the arousal up, then back down, and repeating) teaches control, and will result in far more powerful orgasms.
Pressure is Vital
The next vital component is pressure, both from the mouth, and later the hand. Arousal is all about the relationship between friction and pressure. If done correctly, your mouth will create a subtle vacuum seal and negative pressure. Vagina, anus, mouth... they all create tension, to varying degrees, but your mouth, and specifically tight lips, allows the most precise control. Imagine how a wet, tight pussy feels to him... and try to top that. This is one of the favourite features of a blowjob. Some women don't provide enough suction, they just bob their head up and down with it in their mouth. This is insufficient. The mouth needs to create suction on the head and upper half, while the hands stroke the lower half.
One of the reasons men thrust aggressively during intercourse, and bear down during oral, is to compensate for insufficient suction, friction and pressure. If you feel his hand pressing on you, increase one or all. Grab his tensed ass and pull him firmly towards you. Increase suction with your mouth. Moan. Your body language will alert him, "I've got this."
Another way to add pressure is by gently pushing down on the shaft with one hand and holding it there momentarily. This activates the area and focuses energy. He may also enjoy an even harder erection.
In general, in the last stages, firmer pressure is better than lighter. He will most definitely let you know if it is too much. Many women worry they are hurting their partner, but the common complaint from men is that women do not squeeze tightly enough at the point of highest arousal. This grip is what helps retain pressure and therefore blood in the shaft, and is directly related to the quality of orgasm.
"Most girls make the mistake of being too soft - don't do that, grab his penis tightly and stroke it hard, as you're twisting his shaft with one hand slowly start sucking on the head, curl your tongue around it, twist it in circles, then point it upwards and slowly lick it while you're watching him."
Stroking
There is a perfect grip. It just varies for each man. Your job is to find it. Don't attempt to go hard and fast. It’s better to tease him slowly and use a light touch. Begin with long, slow, easy strokes down to the base, then back up; then vary with short strokes over the top. A general rule of thumb is when using a loose clasp, increase the speed of strokes; on a tight clasp, slow down. When men masturbate they tend to find a balance between the two in their strokes, but often will emphasize the shorter, more rapid strokes to achieve orgasm. An orgasm that comes from longer, pressured strokes may feel deeper, whereas an orgasm from lighter, shorter strokes may feel more ticklish and propulsive. Both are intense. The main goal is to stay attuned to where he is in his arousal. Intersperse non-rhythmic stimulation with deep, more forceful rhythmic strokes that encompass the entire length of the shaft.
Experiment bobbing your head and mouth in tandem with your hands, then disconnecting the movement not in tandem. Then, alternate a corkscrew motion, with one and two hands. Stroke just the last 1/3, forming a tight clasp while running your thumb and index finger over the coronal ridge. Men say this is too often ignored. Use his pre-cum as lubricant. Tease it out of him.
Note: Beautifully manicured, short-med length painted nails also go a long way in adding to the visual appeal. Some men may not want a 'high-maintenance' girl, but they appreciate well-kept nails (always filed, never sharp!), and the way they look wrapped around his rock hard cock, with you stroking him off. (He might even be inspired to snap a photo for a more lasting memory.)
It's About Rhythm, Speed & Stamina 🏍
“It's all about using the tongue, getting the sensitive parts of the head, rhythm, plenty of movement and continuity.”
Think about motion. There must be constant, rhythmic stimulation concentrated on the most sensitive area - the corona and frenulum, located on the top third of the penis.
Many guys may be in the habit of speed and maximum efficiency, but do not start off fast, because not only will you not be able to maintain it, but it won't build and crescendo properly. The final result will be lacklustre. So begin with a slow place, and when he is closer to cumming (which you'll know by his breathing, movements, and maybe vocalizations) at a slow pace, switching hands if necessary, but prioritizing and resting your dominant hand for later-needed speed. Then maintain tension. Without tension, pressure, it won't happen. It doesn't have to be the same tension, start to finish, but tension can't disappear mid-way through. When he starts to buck and breathe deep, be firm and rhythmical.
Signs He's Close
* Erection is fully hard
* Heart beat is increased
* Veins are noticeable in the shaft
* His body is tense, hips are bucking, and he's flexing his pelvic muscles
* He's craving rhythm
* His penis visually flicked with a deep pelvic contraction
Once he's getting close, most men prefer a moderate-firm grip, and all men need consistent rhythm. And don't even think about slowing down. At this point it's extremely important to maintain rhythm without slowing, pausing, or stopping. But also, don't bob so fast with your head that the teeth rake across the shaft. The misguided preoccupation with trying to mimic what-looks-good-on-film porn often results in uncontrolled speed and this is when pain and accidents happen. So think consistent rhythm, not the faster the better.
As you increase the pace of rhythmic strokes, start with ~ a 10:1 ratio of rhythmic:non-rhythmic, then gradually work towards a 5:1, and eventually all rhythmic.
You will have to maintain this for anywhere from ~ 2 minutes - several minutes without slowing or pausing. You will be using at least one hand to stroke. What should the other hand do? 1. Join the first hand, or 2. Gently massage his balls, or 3. Touch other favourite erogenous zones, such as nipples, inner thigh, taint/perineum, or even farther back.
Maintaining suction that is comfortable for you is probably the hardest part, in terms of knowledge. Beyond that, it takes endurance and timing. Do not slow or pause. Keep going. Tell him to let you know when he's getting close, then just stay the course, or as they say in 'Star Wars: A New Hope', "Stay on target."
Important: Follow Through. Don’t Stop Short 🚫
When he begins to cum, keep sucking and/or stroking until ejaculation ends. Don't stop at the first contraction. Many women stop at the point of orgasm, rather than stroking through.
With ejaculation comes body spasms. The duration from first body spasm through to last contraction and how you manage this makes all the difference. Continue to through to the end.
You must keep stroking through, but slow the pace very gradually, tapering down gently. The surest way to kill a potentially great orgasm is to stop short. Think golf - follow the line through. Don't completely stop until he either tells you, or makes noises, laughs, or his body ceases shaking. Then it's really done.
What if He Doesn't? 🏁
Don't panic. Don't make him feel bad. Don't feel bad yourself. He could have cum recently (the supply is not endless.) He could be desensitized from mass quantities of porn. He could have something else on his mind - work, etc. If you get tired, take a break. If he's close, but you're petering out, suggest he takes over. He may know just how to efficiently finish off from there. Whatever happens, try to pivot, adapt, change strategies, have him communicate with you. He knows more than you do, and you're in this together. But if it doesn't happen, don't sweat it. Next time. You'll get him next time.
"My ideal blowjob is a sensual and slow one, it doesn't have to end with me cumming but it could be build up for putting it some where else ;3"
![The Better Blowjob: A How-to Guide [Part 2]](https://cf.girlsaskguys.com/a64296/9c02064f-2fdd-4900-831e-dbc8d0cf6561.jpg)
Extra Credit
Ice Cubes, Anyone? 🧊
Make up a small bowl of ice cubes and have it handy next to you. Why? There are two benefits.
1. The contrast in temperature produces a sensual effect. Just keep in mind that cocks and balls tend to recede in the cold, so any contact should be brief and well-planned. Don't focus too much on the head, and keep it moving. Having it in your mouth but staying away from the most sensitive areas may be the best compromise. You can use them elsewhere on the body, for a great effect.
2. This is also a great way to slow down a session that is about to be over too quick, or begin a lesson in #edging – a valuable skill to have in one’s tool belt.
Incorporate Edibles 🍭
Cannabis edibles and flowers will definitely amp up the effect and enjoyment for him, that is a fact, but the edibles I'm referring to are of the sweeter kind. This is strictly on a case-by-case basis, this is your and his decision and preference, but some you might want to try are whipping cream, Nutella chocolate spread, a favourite jam or jelly... anything that turns his stick into a popsicle. If it's lickable, it's a possibility.
And you know what else is lickable? Fingers. Put them in your mouth when his cock is not. It will keep the engine warm.
Some Brief Words on Deep Throating, Swallowing & Facials
Deep Throating
Taking it as deep as you can is a thrill for some, but I'll have Ian Kerner, PhD and Sex Therapist have the last word: "You don't need to deep throat. You can certainly do it if it's something you enjoy, but any stimulation you can provide from it can be better accomplished with mouth, tongue, and hands. In surveys of men, deep throating is not a technique that features high on men's wish lists, except as a quick bit of novelty or fantasy... So don't take more of him, or for longer, than you're comfortable with."
Fellatio is when you are moving your mouth up and down on his penis. You control rhythm, pace, and pressure. Irrumation is when he's thrusting in and out of your mouth.
Aside from the influence and prevalence of easily accessible porn, another impetus for deep throating may be about the need for friction and pressure. Already discussed above, you can solve this issue by adapting your grasp and suction, thereby eliminating the need for him to push beyond your limits of comfort.
If you choose to attempt, note that breathing and angle are pivotal. Meaning, take a deep, relaxed breath beforehand, and try not to breathe during; and on the angle, the less acute, the better. Straight on, 90°, esp from above, not below, is best. The jaw and head has to have full mobility, no restrictions. (Another benefit of the woman not being passive and submissive.)
To Swallow or Not to Swallow?
"Swallowing is nice but it isn't a must "
A provocative topic, to say the least. Now let's get one thing straight - the choice is yours, ladies, not his. Never mind expectation, social pressure to conform to some made-up 'standard.' It's all nonsense. And his lame justification about how it's "full of protein and good for you!" is just that - a desperate attempt to justify what he wants. Taste and texture are questionable, and any 'vitamin' benefit is so nominal as to be inconsequential.
But here's the one real reason why maybe you should... because it makes him feel wholly, completely, unconditionally, accepted. Deep down he knows ejaculate (or as Leon Black from 'Curb Your Enthusiasm' says, "a jackalet") is not innately appealing (you don't see him swallowing it, do you), and so if you do, it shows him that you 100% accept him. And that is hard to argue. So, once again, it is your choice. Not his. But he will surely appreciate it if you do. (Maybe just for special occasions, that would be a reasonable compromise.)
(And if you do decide to swallow, it can help to redirect it to the very back of the throat. It is felt less obtrusively there, and therefore may lessen the gag reflex.)
Alternatives: Discreetly spit it out into a tissue; spit into the palm of your hand and show him how he did. (Some like to see quantity. It gets him off. Or you could think of yourself as the Cheshire cat who presents the now-defunct mouse as evidence of your prowess.) Spit it onto his chest; and for the bold, give it back to him in his mouth. If it's good enough for you, it's good enough for him. (Hint: If he's not willing to kiss you after, why does he expect you to swallow?)
Facials
This is not a facial.
![The Better Blowjob: A How-to Guide [Part 2]](https://cf.girlsaskguys.com/a64296/1015f79d-ec7e-4fdb-9b96-ae8caf6656aa.jpg)
This is a facial:
(I have no idea what she's saying, but my god is this cute.)
It doesn't matter what fancy or posh word they try and use to dress up the fact that they want to cum on and befoul a pretty girl's face (the prettier, the better, right?) Life is not a porn video. Porn has attempted to normalize an act that was once reserved only for paid 'performers' in the sex industry. And you are not that. What looks good on film, what works most efficiently to get guys off quickly, yet always want to come back for more, is not what is best in real life, so don't rush, don't exaggerate, don't fake, and don't think you have to act like a porn actress. That's what they are - actresses.
You are better because you are real and you are here for him. Any man who doesn't appreciate this, is not happy with this, may not be worthy of you or this. Remember the most important thing a man wants is a girl who wants it, wants him. And there's nothing wrong with being selective about who you give it to and share it with. Just as with everything in life, abundant supply lowers value. Think about that.
It's degrading, it's disgusting, it's men marking their territory, it's 'a money shot' originating because it most conveniently and clearly shows ejaculation and the girl's facial expression simultaneously, and brings new meaning to the celebratory toast, 'Here's mud in your eye', but hey, if you are willing, have at it.
But to the girls who are wondering, "Should I?", "Do I need to do this?" No, you don't, honey. You don't have to do anything you don't want to do. Do not cave to this pressure, nor any other you do not feel comfortable with, nor to some lame justification that "Everyone's doing it." They're not.
Final Words
Sex is about intimacy, connection, communication, vulnerability, and sharing a piece of yourself with each other. It is not necessary to compromise your values or integrity to feel accepted by another (particularly a partner you don't know well.) Sex is a partnership. Often, the more you care, the more you want to do for them and with them. When that desire is authentic, it's powerful... it's magic. Respect each other, love each other, and I wish you all good sex.
Reference:
![The Better Blowjob: A How-to Guide [Part 2]](https://cf.girlsaskguys.com/a64296/09c15611-c5a5-4076-92a4-2ad4312a58e1.jpg)
Acknowledgement:
And thanks to the men of #G@G for their honesty and enlightening conversation, as well as my husband, for allowing me twenty years of experimentation and practice. He's a good sport. (And thanks for letting the cat out of the house. I may be domesticated but you're right, you can't take all the wild out. 🐅)
And One Final Laugh:
Any Leon Black fans out there? Check him out saying "a jackalet" at 2:10:
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