Are You "Up" For "More"? Sex... Jokes That Is...

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

For those that have seen my other sex joke takes... I'm baaack...

For those that haven't, hope you enjoy your "first'...

Thought we'd start with dirty pick up lines:

I wish you were my big toe. Then I would bang you on every piece of furniture at my house
.

I’m not a weatherman, but you can expect a few more inches tonight
.

Do you like sales?

Because clothing is 100% off at my place.

‘You’re cute’ has U in it, but ‘quickie’ has U and I together

And now for the corny jokes:

What comes after 69?

Mouthwash

What’s the difference between a Greyhound terminal and a lobster with boobs?

One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean.

What do you get when you mix LSD and birth control?

A trip without kids
.

What did the guy say when he got caught masturbating to an optical illusion?

It’s not what it looks like!

Did you hear about the man who ejaculated without a penis?

He came out of nowhere.

I just found an origami porn channel...

but it’s paper view only.

What did the corn chip say to the battery?

I'm Frito Lay if your Ever Ready.

Mom: If a boy touches your boobs say "don't" and if he touches your pussy say "stop"?

Girl: But mom, he touched both so I said "don't stop"

“I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was, ‘The man goes on top and the woman underneath.’ For three years my husband and I slept in bunk beds."

Bigamy is having one wife too many.

Some say monogamy is the same.

Scientists have discovered a certain food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90 percent....

Wedding cake.

What does fucking a woman and cooking an egg in the microwave have in common?

Both end with a loud, annoying sound and a gooey mess to clean up.

What do you call a virgin on a waterbed?

A cherry float.

Why did god give woman 2 sets of lips?

So they can piss & moan at the same time!

Why do men have a hole in their penis?

So their brains can get some oxygen now and then.

Name something you can say during Game of Thrones and sex.

"The ending was disappointing.”

What are three words you dread the most while making love?

"Honey, I'm home."

Hope you enjoyed this Saturday sex joke take...

Thanks for reading💛♥️

"Brainsbeforebeauty"😘

[Massageman]

I was having sex with my girlfriend, Diana, when my roommate, Jones, entered the room
"I'm in diana, Jones. Get out."

The sex position formerly known as 69 is now called 96.
Due to the economy, the cost of eating out has gone up.

My boyfriend was dying. I was by his bedside when he whispered, "There's something I must confess."
"Shhh" I said "There's nothing to confess. Everything is all right."
"No, I must die in peace" he said. "I had sex with your sister, your best friend and your co-worker."
"I know", I whispered. "That's why I poisoned you... now close your eyes."

[anon1903]

Lols

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Hahahaha, good ones🤣🤣

[Massageman]

Thanks for the MHO.

[humanearth]

I asked and you delivered
Do we need @Brainsbeforebeauty to give us some summer jokes, before summer is gone?
What’s the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms?

One is a Goodyear. The other is a great year.

What’s the difference between ‘Oooh!’ and ‘Aaah!’?

About three inches.

What did the toaster say to the slice of bread?

“I want you inside me.”

What do a penis and a Rubik’s Cube have in common?

The more you play with it, the harder it gets.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

🤣🤣

[humanearth]

One more, my wife just told me this one What comes after 69? Mouthwash.

[MysteriousDarkness]

@humanearth that was one of the jokes that @brainsbeforebeauty used

[humanearth]

@MysteriousDarkness I didn't even catch it. Oh well shit happens

[loves2learn]

Good ones! Thanks for sharing!

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Thanks for reading🤗

[loves2learn]

The big toe one killed me. And that pic! 🤣🤣🤣🤢

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

🤣🤣

[loves2learn]

Thanks for the mho!

[Lliam]

OMG, those were great! I've missed your jokes, bbb.

Why is 77 better than 69?
You get 8 more.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Lol thanks🤗 and yeah almost put that one in there too but thought it might be too much 69🤣🤣

[Lliam]

Too much 69? LOL Actually, the reason I thought of that joke is because of the one you posted. I just had to throw it in. :-) Hell, I first heard that joke in high school. hahahaa

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

🤣🤣

[OlderAndWiser]

Hey, the fact that you have a big nose is no excuse for not wearing a face mask. After all, I still wear pants!

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

😂😂 lol

[InventorofWarp]

I'm so fucking using a bunch of these.
Especially the Game of Thrones one.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Go for it lolol found em all online

[Bluemax]

What is pirate sex?

When you peg her in the leg, cum in one eye, and she says, "Argh!"

[Bluemax]

I popped in because of Hans and Franz, but stayed for the humor. 😊

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Lolol 😂

[Lynx122]

It's often the little toe though and it hurts so much T_T

I loved the take ^^ Especially the busty crustacean :D

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Thanks🤗

[RawIronhide]

Lol these are great, thanks!

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Thanks😊 and thanks for reading🤗

[pjf1958]

What did one sperm say to the other sperm? Answer: false alarm men, he's just masturbating.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

🤣🤣🤣

[AviatorTom]

Very funny. Made my day. Thank you!

And keep 'em coming...

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

There's quite a few already lolol

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

Thanks for sharing your Saturday Sex Jokes MyTake, Well appreciated of you :) :)

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Thanks for reading🤗

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

@brainsbeforebeauty You're welcome :-P

[FunkyMonkee]

A man comes home from work one day to find his wife sliding down the banister from the 2nd floor completely naked!! He asks, "What the hell are you doing?" She says, "Just warming up your dinner!"

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

😂😂😂😂

[FunkyMonkee]

You know what they use to make pickle bread? Dill dough!

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Lol yeah I've heard that one.. That first one was really funny.. Would of been good in this take lolol

[FunkyMonkee]

Two fags are fucking in the shower when the phone rings. One of them says to the other, 'That'll be for me! I better go get it!! I'll be back in 5 minutes! Promise me you won't cum before I get back!;' The other guy says, "Okay, I promise I won't cum before you get back." So, the first fag prances off to get the phone. About 5:00 later, he comes back to the shower and is ready to step inside when he sees the ENTIRE SHOWER is GLISTENING with a coating of cum!!! Now, sad, almost in tears, he says, "You PROMISED me you weren't gonna cum before I got back!!!" The other guy says, "I didn't cum, I farted!"

[Nightroads]

Awesome.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Thanks 🤗

[exitseven]

Q: How is a tribe of African pigmies different from a girls' track team?
A: One is a group of cunning runts...

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

🤣🤣

[loves2learn]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[AndrewMG]

I was going to tell a true story about when I appeared in a porn film, but hey it was only a small part! Hence it never appeared on screen! lol

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

🤣🤣🤣

[Andres77]

These were your best yet!
Already saved in favorite until I memorize and use them all.
Thank you

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Thanks for reading🤗

[NYCQuestions1976]

That foot. Oof. Good Lord...

I don't have any sex jokes, but I do have a sex question:

How many pornographic movies were filmed on this beauty of a beast? 🤔

P. S.: Hi @Sketti2021 . 😂

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

What? You didn't like my "foot selfie" 🤣🤣 I'm so offended😂😂

[NYCQuestions1976]

That's worse than Adam Sandler's "blackfoot". 😂 You're not going to ask about the couch?

[loves2learn]

Following for the couch deets 😂

[NYCQuestions1976]

@loves2learn Give it a few minutes. I'm sure @Sketti2021 will be along shortly. 😂

[Sketti2021]

😒😒😒😒😒😒

[NYCQuestions1976]

@Sketti2021 That's it? 🤔😂

[NYCQuestions1976]

@loves2learn Here's a hint:

Is This The Worst Couch In The History Of Couches? ↗

I think @Sketti2021 is mad at me now. 😭

[Sketti2021]

Lmaooooooo

[loves2learn]

Wellll, it looks like it was quite well maintained.

[NYCQuestions1976]

@loves2learn Yeah it's "maintained" all right...

[Sketti2021]

🙈 🙉 🙊...

[loves2learn]

@sketti2021 sounds like your couch is famous!

[NYCQuestions1976]

@loves2learn More like infamous. @Sketti2021 wants to invite @beebella to a sleepover so her couch can eat her. I saw it in another thread. 😂

[loves2learn]

Oh my! 🙈

[Sketti2021]

🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢 I absolutely don't swing that way

[NYCQuestions1976]

@loves2learn Yep... and I'm not exaggerating aT aLl. 😂

[NYCQuestions1976]

@Sketti2021 Swing? No not like that. Actual eating. We all know that couch is from "Little Shop Of Horrors". 😂😂

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

This thread though😂😂

[NYCQuestions1976]

@Brainsbeforebeauty I know, right? It's all @Sketti2021 's fault. 😂

[Sketti2021]

I'm trying to reply but it keeps saying I already did ffs... 😂😂😂

[NYCQuestions1976]

I bet @beebella hasn't responded yet because the couch already devoured her. Poor @beebella. She was such a good GaG user...

[beebella]

#RIPBeebella 😥

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

@beebella 🙏🤣🤣

[Sketti2021]

@beebella ⚰💀🥀

[NYCQuestions1976]

@beebella 😂😂

[beebella]

☠⚱👻

[Dave576]

Is that really what your feet look like?

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

@Dave576 🤣🤣 No but do have long toes🤦

[Dave576]

That's nothing to be ashamed of

[NYCQuestions1976]

@Dave576 Are you some sort of weird foot person?

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

@Dave576 thanks

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

@NYCQuestions1976🤣🤣

[beebella]

@NYCQUESTIONS1976 Lmao 🤣

[Sketti2021]

Lmfaooooooo

[loves2learn]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🦶🦶🦶🦶

[NYCQuestions1976]

@loves2learn @Brainsbeforebeauty @Sketti2021 @beebella Don't encourage him.

[NYCQuestions1976]

Oops! It appears that @Dave576 has deactivated after only 7 days. I wonder why? 🤔

[Sketti2021]

Lmao hmmm that never happens

[NYCQuestions1976]

@Sketti2021 Yeah next will be Dave577. 😂😂

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

I seem to get a lot of replies from users who then seem to deactivate.. Probably more troll/fake accounts accounts like was getting a lot of months ago.. some people just don't know when to quit apparently

[NYCQuestions1976]

@Brainsbeforebeauty It's probably the same 10 users with 10,000 accounts. Similar to @Sketti2021 's behavior with all of her incarnations, but she does it because of ADHD, not because she's a troll. 😲👍😂

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Wouldn't surprise me...

[Sketti2021]

Lmao exactly

[DaveToo]

ROTFFLMFAO!!!

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Glad it made you laugh😊🤣 thanks for reading🤗

[DaveToo]

Those were the best read I've had all week!

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Aww thanks 😊

[MysteriousDarkness]

None if them made me laugh since I knew every punchline before getting to the punchline.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Sorry🤷

[TonyMetal___86]

VERY naughty spongy forehead and made me laugh especially that big toe, i'm sure that it ain't from the net, it's your sasquatch feet 😂😂
About the corn, it looka delicious and fresh, are you going to boil it for me and sprinkle some salt on it 🤤

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Yep that's a "foot selfie"🤣🤣 and I do have corn in the fridge🤔

[TonyMetal___86]

Ain't going to get near that bigfoot anytime soon 😵 Boil the corn miss brains muffins 😋🌽

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

So guess you won't give me a foot massage then😔 no massage, no corn😝

[TonyMetal___86]

No way, i won't be alive to eat the corn if i get near your monster yeti feet 😁

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

🤣🤣 they're not THAT bad, just have long toes 😔

[TonyMetal___86]

I don't trust the jello spongy forehead 😜

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Your loss I'm an😇😇

[TonyMetal___86]

Nope your not sasquatch feet 😁

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Oh blah blah 😝😝

[Wiredone]

I missed your jokes.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Aww thanks🤗

[Wiredone]

You're welcome 😁

[Den1971]

Sex... You know me by now

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

🤣🤣

[Den1971]

That's how I do it... All day long 😉

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

👍👍..