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Are You "Up" For "More"? Sex... Jokes That Is...

Brainsbeforebeauty
Are You Up For More? Sex... Jokes That Is...

For those that have seen my other sex joke takes... I'm baaack...

Are You Up For More? Sex... Jokes That Is...

For those that haven't, hope you enjoy your "first'...

Thought we'd start with dirty pick up lines:

I wish you were my big toe. Then I would bang you on every piece of furniture at my house
.

Are You Up For More? Sex... Jokes That Is...

I’m not a weatherman, but you can expect a few more inches tonight
.

Do you like sales?

Because clothing is 100% off at my place.

‘You’re cute’ has U in it, but ‘quickie’ has U and I together

And now for the corny jokes:

Are You Up For More? Sex... Jokes That Is...

What comes after 69?

Mouthwash

What’s the difference between a Greyhound terminal and a lobster with boobs?

One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean.

Are You Up For More? Sex... Jokes That Is...

What do you get when you mix LSD and birth control?

A trip without kids
.

What did the guy say when he got caught masturbating to an optical illusion?

It’s not what it looks like!

Are You Up For More? Sex... Jokes That Is...

Did you hear about the man who ejaculated without a penis?

He came out of nowhere.


I just found an origami porn channel...

but it’s paper view only.

What did the corn chip say to the battery?

I'm Frito Lay if your Ever Ready.

Mom: If a boy touches your boobs say "don't" and if he touches your pussy say "stop"?

Girl: But mom, he touched both so I said "don't stop"

Are You Up For More? Sex... Jokes That Is...

“I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was, ‘The man goes on top and the woman underneath.’ For three years my husband and I slept in bunk beds."

Bigamy is having one wife too many.

Some say monogamy is the same.

Scientists have discovered a certain food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90 percent....

Wedding cake.

Are You Up For More? Sex... Jokes That Is...

What does fucking a woman and cooking an egg in the microwave have in common?

Both end with a loud, annoying sound and a gooey mess to clean up.

What do you call a virgin on a waterbed?

A cherry float.

Are You Up For More? Sex... Jokes That Is...

Why did god give woman 2 sets of lips?

So they can piss & moan at the same time!

Why do men have a hole in their penis?

So their brains can get some oxygen now and then.

Name something you can say during Game of Thrones and sex.

"The ending was disappointing.”

What are three words you dread the most while making love?

"Honey, I'm home."

Are You Up For More? Sex... Jokes That Is...

Hope you enjoyed this Saturday sex joke take...

Thanks for reading💛♥️

"Brainsbeforebeauty"😘

Are You "Up" For "More"? Sex... Jokes That Is...
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Most Helpful Guys

  • Massageman
    I was having sex with my girlfriend, Diana, when my roommate, Jones, entered the room
    "I'm in diana, Jones. Get out."

    The sex position formerly known as 69 is now called 96.
    Due to the economy, the cost of eating out has gone up.

    My boyfriend was dying. I was by his bedside when he whispered, "There's something I must confess."
    "Shhh" I said "There's nothing to confess. Everything is all right."
    "No, I must die in peace" he said. "I had sex with your sister, your best friend and your co-worker."
    "I know", I whispered. "That's why I poisoned you... now close your eyes."
    Like 3 People
    Is this still revelant?
  • humanearth
    I asked and you delivered
    Do we need @Brainsbeforebeauty to give us some summer jokes, before summer is gone?
    What’s the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms?

    One is a Goodyear. The other is a great year.

    What’s the difference between ‘Oooh!’ and ‘Aaah!’?

    About three inches.

    What did the toaster say to the slice of bread?

    “I want you inside me.”

    What do a penis and a Rubik’s Cube have in common?

    The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
    Like 5 People
    Is this still revelant?

Most Helpful Girl

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What Girls & Guys Said

028
  • Bluemax
    What is pirate sex?

    When you peg her in the leg, cum in one eye, and she says, "Argh!"Are You "Up" For "More"? Sex... Jokes That Is...
    Like 2 People
  • NYCQuestions1976
    That foot. Oof. Good Lord...

    I don't have any sex jokes, but I do have a sex question:
    How many pornographic movies were filmed on this beauty of a beast? 🤔
    How many pornographic movies were filmed on this beauty of a beast? 🤔
    P. S.: Hi @Sketti2021 . 😂
    Like 2 People
  • bulletbob555
    So the guy goes to the bordello and knocks on the door. Voice says put the money under the door. He waits but nothing happens he knocks on the door again and voice say what do you want he says I want to get screwed. The voice says AGAIN? I cleaned it up but it sounds better the way I usually say it
    Like 3 People
  • OlderAndWiser
    Hey, the fact that you have a big nose is no excuse for not wearing a face mask. After all, I still wear pants!
    Like 3 People
  • Lliam
    OMG, those were great! I've missed your jokes, bbb.

    Why is 77 better than 69?
    You get 8 more.
    Like 3 People
    • Lol thanks🤗 and yeah almost put that one in there too but thought it might be too much 69🤣🤣

    • Lliam

      Too much 69? LOL
      Actually, the reason I thought of that joke is because of the one you posted. I just had to throw it in. :-)
      Hell, I first heard that joke in high school. hahahaa

    • 🤣🤣

  • TonyMetal___86
    VERY naughty spongy forehead and made me laugh especially that big toe, i'm sure that it ain't from the net, it's your sasquatch feet 😂😂
    About the corn, it looka delicious and fresh, are you going to boil it for me and sprinkle some salt on it 🤤
    Like 1 Person
  • FunkyMonkee
    A man comes home from work one day to find his wife sliding down the banister from the 2nd floor completely naked!! He asks, "What the hell are you doing?" She says, "Just warming up your dinner!"
    Like 2 People
    • 😂😂😂😂

    • You know what they use to make pickle bread?
      Dill dough!

    • Lol yeah I've heard that one.. That first one was really funny.. Would of been good in this take lolol

    • Show All
  • AndrewMG
    I was going to tell a true story about when I appeared in a porn film, but hey it was only a small part! Hence it never appeared on screen! lol
    Like 3 People
  • Lynx122
    It's often the little toe though and it hurts so much T_T

    I loved the take ^^ Especially the busty crustacean :D
    Like 1 Person
  • exitseven
    Q: How is a tribe of African pigmies different from a girls' track team?
    A: One is a group of cunning runts...
    Like 2 People
  • InventorofWarp
    I'm so fucking using a bunch of these.
    Especially the Game of Thrones one.
    Like 2 People
  • pjf1958
    What did one sperm say to the other sperm? Answer: false alarm men, he's just masturbating.
    Like 1 Person
  • Andres77
    These were your best yet!
    Already saved in favorite until I memorize and use them all.
    Thank you
    Like 1 Person
  • captain_voidwalker
    Savage mode engaged Are You "Up" For "More"? Sex... Jokes That Is...
    Like 3 People
  • GoodGuyBreakingBad
    Thanks for sharing your Saturday Sex Jokes MyTake, Well appreciated of you :) :)
    Like 1 Person
  • TheDarkAngel21
    …. mmmmAre You "Up" For "More"? Sex... Jokes That Is...
    Like 2 People
  • MysteriousDarkness
    None if them made me laugh since I knew every punchline before getting to the punchline.
    Like 1 Person
  • Diamold
    Omg i needed this 😂 it was hilarious
    Thank you @Brainsbeforebeauty
    Like 1 Person
  • Alexalex92
    I laughed so much with the wrong hole but don't stop hahahahah
    Like 1 Person
  • krin_m
    LOLOLLL Thank you @Brainsbeforebeauty!
    Welcome back!
    Like 1 Person
  • Xoirwinkan
    The 'few more inches' joke sounds like he has a small dick, since few usually means three.
    Like 2 People
  • RawIronhide
    Lol these are great, thanks!
    Like 1 Person
  • Nightroads
    Awesome.
    Like 1 Person
  • DaveToo
    ROTFFLMFAO!!!
    Like 1 Person
  • Den1971
    Sex... You know me by now
    Like 1 Person
  • Wiredone
    I missed your jokes.
    Like 1 Person
  • TheAfrikan
    You are back at it 😂😂😂
    Like 1 Person
  • Jerre
    Excellent job!
    Like 1 Person
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