"Drunk Sex" anyone? Drunk Sex jokes that is...🤣

Drunk Sex anyone? Drunk Sex jokes that is...🤣

Yep, cumming at you with more sex jokes.. Drunk ones at that🤣

Q: Why did Mexicans create tequila?

A: So ugly people would have a chance at having sex!

Drunk Sex anyone? Drunk Sex jokes that is...🤣

Q: What's the difference between a G-Spot and a bottle of Jack Daniels?

A: A guy will actually SEARCH for a bottle of Jack Daniels.


Q: What is the similarity between Michelob Ultra and having sex in a rowboat?

A: They are both SO close to water


Q: Why do gynecologists only drink Pabst Blue Ribbon Beer and Smirnoff Vodka?

A: "Pabst Smir!"


A Shot of Whiskey

A man walks into a bar and orders a shot of whiskey then looks into his pocket. He does this over and over again. Finally, the bartender asks why he orders a shot of whiskey and afterwards look into his pocket. The man responded, "I have a picture of my wife in there and when she starts to look good then i'll go home."

Drunk Husband

A wife was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband's key in the door. "Stay where you are," she said. "He's so drunk he won't even notice you're in bed with me." Sure enough, the husband lurched into bed none the wiser, but a few minutes later, through a drunken haze, he saw six feet sticking out at the end of the bed. He turned to his wife: "Hey, there are six feet in this bed. There should only be four. What's going on?" "Nonsense," said the wife. "You're so drunk you miscounted. Get out of bed and try again. You can see better from over there." The husband climbed out of bed and counted. "One, two, three, four. You're right, you know."

Better Boyfriend

Two girls were comparing boyfriends. "Mine's the best," said the first. "I call him Seven-Up because he's 7 inches long and he's always up!" "Oh yeah," exclaimed the other, "I call my boyfriend Jack Daniel's because he's the best hard licker there is!"

Drunk Sex anyone? Drunk Sex jokes that is...🤣

Drunk Cowboy

One night a lone cowboy rode into a small town. He immediately went to the only saloon in town and ordered a drink. While drinking he asked the bartender if there was a room and any women around. The bartender told him he had a room for rent and then glanced over to his friends drinking at another table.They decided to play a joke on the cowboy. As the evening drug on, the cowboy became very drunk but was still asking about a woman. Finally the bartender sent his friends upstairs on a mission and they returned shortly. Then the bartender told the cowboy that they only had one woman there but she was upstairs waiting on him. (the bartender's friends had carried a blow-up doll upstairs and placed her in his bed) At this point the cowboy bid everyone good night and slowly climbed the stairs. Filled with anticipation he approached the room and went inside as the men downstairs listened with great interest. After a few moments, they heard the bed springs squeaking and moans of pleasure coming from the room The roared with laughter. Then everything was quiet. Not beinging able to sleep with anticipation of the coming morning, the men decided to play poker through the night and await the man coming down the next morning. As he came down the stairs, they noticed a strange look on his face. They asked: "Well, cowboy, how was the woman." He hestitated, then answered: "Man, that was the best piece of ass I ever had, but the strangest thing happened." After I screwed her i bit her on the titty and she farted and flew out the window and I haven't seen her since.

Drunk Sex anyone? Drunk Sex jokes that is...🤣

I hope you enjoyed this drunk quickie(that's what he said🤣🤣)

Thanks for reading❤️❤️

"Brainsbeforebeauty"😘

2 13

Most Helpful Guys

  • Have you been drinkin' again, bbb? 🤣🤣🤣

    Three guys are drinking in a bar when a drunk comes in, staggers up to them, and points at the guy in the middle, shouting, "Your mom's the best sex in town!" Everyone expects a fight, but the guy ignores him, so the drunk wanders off and bellies up to the bar at the far end. Ten minutes later, the drunk comes back, points at the same guy, and says, "I just did your mom, and it was sw-e-et!" Again the guy refuses to take the bait, and the drunk goes back to the far end of the bar. Ten minutes later, he comes back and announces, "Your mom liked it!" Finally the guy interrupts. "Go home, Dad, you're drunk!"
    **************************
    Husband comes home from work to find his wife and three of her girlfriends sitting in the living room drinking wine while glued to a steamy romance movie. Tired, as usual, he ignores them and goes upstairs to bed. Engrossed in the movie, the four women wound up killing several bottles of wine.

    By the time the movie was over and her friends left, the wife was so drunk that she could barely make it up the stairs. In the bedroom she managed to get undressed. Groping for the bed in the dark, she accidentally backed into the end of brass footboard. In a state of drunken confusion and wanton desire inspired by the movie, she guided herself onto the post, thinking that it was her husband, and began to ride it with increasing abandon.

    Startled awake by his wife's cries, the husband turned on the light to in time to see her in a state of unbridled orgasm. When she slipped off and tumbled unconscious to the floor, he picked her up and put her in bed.

    The next morning, she greeted him with an adoring smile. "Last night was amazing" she said.

    "The bedpost was amazing?" he said.

    Looking confused, she said, "Bedpost? That wasn't you?" Then looking off into space, picturing the foggy memory, she said dreamily "I was wondering what had suddenly made you bigger and harder than ever before."

    • 🤣🤣🤣

    • Thank you, funnybrainybabe. 😃😊😁 In rereading that second joke, I think it needs just a bit of polishing, but the concept was good, didn't you think?

    • Lolol

  • An Irishman had been drinking at a pub all night.
    The bartender finally said that the bar was closing.
    So the Irishman stood up to leave and fell flat on his face.
    He tried to stand one more time; same result.
    He figured he'll crawl outside and get some fresh air and maybe that will sober him up. Once outside he stood up and fell flat on his face.
    So he decided to crawl the 4 blocks to his home.
    When he arrived at the door he stood up and again fell flat on his face. He crawled through the door and into his bedroom.
    When he reached his bed he tried one more time to stand up.
    This time he managed to pull himself upright, but he quickly fell right into bed and was sound asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.
    He was awakened the next morning to his wife standing over him, shouting, "So, you've been out drinking again!" "What makes you say that?" he asked, putting on an innocent look. "The pub called -- you left your wheelchair there again."

    • Rosé is red, WKD is blue, I'm drunk in a Wetherspoons and it's 10:52

    • What is the difference between a pint of carling and a clitoris? A clitoris only tastes like piss for a second.

    • I was so drunk last night. When i got to the bottom of the stairs, I took off my shoes, coat, t-shirt, trousers, underwear and crept upstairs very quietly... It was only when i got to the top of the stairs , I realized I was on a fucking bus!!!

    • Show All

Most Helpful Girls

  • One I heard a friend tell once.

    A newly married girl was at home one day her husband was at work. Around noon there was a knock on the door.

    Lady: "hello"
    Husband's Friend: "is Joe home?"
    Lady: "No, you can come back later though."

    The guy stayed at the door and talked a while before he left he asked one last thing.

    HF: "if I offered to pay you $150 would you let me see one of your boobs?"
    Lady: "Are you crazy?"
    HF: "200?"

    The Lady thought for a minute and she wanted money so she agreed and let him see one of her breast.

    HF: (paid the $200)"That's nice if I offered another $500 would you let me see both of them and touch them?"

    The Lady agreed and pulled both of her breast out. The guy spent a few minutes grouping them then paid her the additional $500 and left. The lady put the money up and thought how she'd explain it to her husband. When he got home she was cooking dinner.

    Husband: "What you been up to today?"
    Lady: "Not much, oh by the way, Eric came over earlier."
    Husband: "Oh, did that bum bring the $700 he owed me?"

    • 🤣🤣

  • Middle of sex two robbers burst into the bed room. At gun point they tie the couple down and demand to know where the valuables are. The man begs " let her go and I'll give you everything"'. The robbers are touched and say "you must really love your wife".
    He replies "she's not my wife but she'll be back any minute"

    • Ahahaha🤣

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What Girls & Guys Said

9 28
  • Some good ones there thus time. Lol 😂

  • Thanks for the humor this Friday morning!

    • Welcome😊

  • Another great time sharing sex with you! :-)

    • You're welcome🤣🤣

    • Lucky me that I have a short refactory period for this kind of sex. I am ready to go with you again!

    • Hahaha that's good

  • Oh yeah, this makes me miss the other one you did. Can you link it in a DM or something?

    • Which one? Did so many of them🤣

    • I don't remember, just the last one.

    • Show All
  • :D LOL! :D

    I can't wait to share those jokes you posted above.
    Thank you! <3

    • Welcome.. Thanks for reading💛🤗

  • LoL I am sorry. I don’t know any drunk sex jokes.

  • Excellent funnies, thanks 🤣🤣🤣

  • Very funny 😎😎😎😎😋

    • Thanks for reading🤗

  • "Brains" you just have too much time on your hands !!! ?🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • All good. I don;t think I heard any of these before.

    • Thanks for reading🤗

    • thanks for posting. How you doing by the way?

    • Okay. You?

    • Show All
  • Being drunk can get you or others killed... but look at all the people that are born because of it ;)

    • Lolol

  • Hey I drink Pabst Blue Ribbon Beer and Smirnoff Vodka. Does that make me a gynecologists?

    • Hahaha. Don't be using that as a line to examine women's vaginas 🤣🤣

    • I went out dressed as a chicken last night and met a girl who was dressed like an egg. One thing led to another and the lifelong question was answered: It was the chicken.

    • 🤣🤣🤣

    • Show All
  • The jokes were pretty funny but I can't really relate to em I wanna fight (physically) when I'm drunk.

    • Well that's not good lol

    • I don't drink anymore so it's not an issue.

    • That's good👍

  • Drunk sex does not work for me. Never has.
    Two drinks and I have ED and just want to go to sleep. 🤣

    • 🤣🤣🤣 then no alcohol for you lolol

    • Whiskey Dick!!!

  • You're milking this now Mate!! lol

    • Aren't you the one with the milk fetish🤣

    • It's not a fetish!!! Honestly I've spent hours on porn hub googling semi skimmed and full cream and those results are disturbing and rarely involve alcohol! lol

    • 🤣🤣🤣

  • BBB, thanks for the laughs. I just read your profile for the first time and you seam like a solid human being. Best to you and thank you for sharing your sense of humor with the GAG community.

    • Thanks 😊

    • "BBB"? Is that short for "Big Black Booty"?

    • @BillyBalls Nope

    • Show All
  • Have you heard about the Submarine Cocktail?

    Two down the hatch and under you go!!

    • Lolol

  • Thanks for the smiles.

    • Thanks for reading🤗

  • You know what sucks about drunk sex? Being able to have an easy orgasm-and not remembering it the next day.

    • Lololol🤣

    • @brainsbeforebeauty funny, frustrating, and sad.

    • True true

    • Show All
  • Sorry but I have no drunk sex jokes.

    • It's okay. And I have no drunk Sex🤣 or any sex😔 lolol

    • I know the feeling.

    • 🤗🤗

  • Show More (17)