1 mo

Virgin shaming needs to stop

Virgin shaming needs to stop

I wish virgin shaming wasn’t a thing. If you shame people for how many partners they’ve slept with, that’s seen as rude. Yet people seriously think there’s something wrong with you if you’re a virgin. Maybe it has to do with religious reasons, but maybe there’s mistrust because of trauma in a bad relationship. Or maybe they want to be sure the person really loves them and is not just using them for sex. It’s ok if people aren’t ready yet and honestly it’s a part of dating but it shouldn’t be the only important factor in dating. And in my opinion those friends who want to hook you up with someone just so you can lose your virginity are annoying. Anyone who wants to sleep with someone should do so because they choose to, not because they’re pressured. Yes, sex is reality and yes sex sells. But true friends won’t care if you’ve slept around or if you haven’t.
thanks for reading my take-Rachel

Virgin shaming needs to stop
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Most Helpful Guys

  • Anonymous
    Most people aren't shaming female virgins, because that's a positive thing. Though I think it depends on your circle. A lot of girls on the more promiscuous side trying to validate their own behaviour and guys trying to convince the women around them to be more sexual so they can get with them are the one's likely to do the shaming. But normal people recognize that it's generally more valued by men.

    Virgin men on the other hand are going to get it a lot worse though. For the vast majority, it's not a matter of "not being ready", they simply don't have a partner to do it with and can't find a partner to have a wholesome experience with. Weirdly, women in general tend to value a man more who has had sex with another woman first -- and the act of getting with someone else makes him more attractive. Super weird. But guys that are virgins are otherwise not only seen as unattractive, but on a slippery slope to not being seen as human.
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  • PAcc92
    Virgin women are highly values, it signifies self control.

    Virgin men are considered unwanted, if they want to "Love only one person" then it's presumed they can't get anyone.

    For men, it's just best socially if you fuck when you can. I've never seen any of this personally, but I think this is how it is on a societal level.
    Like 1 Person
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    • Rachel794

      Ok thanks for commenting

    • PAcc92

      Hope it was helpful, I don't know that I personally place such a high value of "Virginity" as such, but I do desire a low body count, I don't know that the magical virgin woman exists in modern society, but I think it's reasonable to expect I can walk down the street and not find someone who's been inside her.

    • Rachel794

      That’s ok. Most modern people don’t. And I like being magical :)

    • Show All

Most Helpful Girls

  • Babygirl_S
    Nice mytake! 🙂 Virgin shaming starts in college where I live. It is mostly the girls who have done it. There are also people who think you're lying about being a virgin if they think you look good enough. Even some promiscuous guys make fun of your virginity. All this is gaslighting to make you lose it to that guy. I don't take it seriously. Everyone should be free to do whatever they want to do as long as it doesn't harm anyone.
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  • Daniela1982
    I have to agree with everything you said. You read enough on here about girls wanting to lose their virginity, and frankly it is getting worn out.Virgin shaming needs to stop
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What Girls & Guys Said

  • Rebel1003
    ABSOLUTELY it disgusts me that any of these new generation kids think that having self respect and value is out the window... it takes a strong person to deny temptation and that's someone I look up to!!!
    Like 2 People
  • MadMorra
    So here is my share of rebutting this virginity topic. I never had conventional sex in my life, although I had a girlfriend once and we also did have sexual activies, I just never slept with her and know what? I don't care. I am even proud of being virgin. Why so you may ask?

    1. I easily could have slept with my first girlfriend, but I decided it would be cheap to stay together with here just to have sex. I didn't feel 100% comfortable with here, so I quit the relationshop before it happened that we had sex and I am proud of myself, that I made the right decision here and threated her with respect.

    2. It propably would have been reasonably easy that I get a new girlfriend and sleep with here, but I decided to focus on my life goals (also my health situation got worse, so I had less time/energy available)

    3. I think dealing with the fact you are virign made me stronger and I am more aware whats actually important and what isn't. Also I think the mastering of this common male dillema, made me develop some unique qualites, I think the girls I will date in the future will enjoy, even if my sexual experience is very bad.

    I am sharing all this, because I wanted to show that there can be good reasons for being a virgin and it doesn't have to say anything bad or weird about yourself.
    Like 1 Person
    • MadMorra

      Sorry for the bad grammer and spelling, I forgot to spellcheck :D

  • Floppy2112
    Who is virgin-shaming? Is it men or women? I am just curious I defend virgins in as much as I can. There is not only no shame in it, it should be a point of pride. That you are not skeezy like so many other women is something to be proud of. To hold yourself with such dignity is something to be proud of. That you don't use sex as a weapon or a commodity is something to be proud of. If that is your conviction stick with it. You don't have to give your body to somebody just to be 'cool'.
    It seems to me that the current dating market is a permanent state of adolescence. You got the cool kids and everybody else. And you have the majority of women pining for the minority of men. The kick in the head is that most of these women are sleeping with the same men. The part that is the kick in the head, is that these women know this and do not seem to mind. Because these 'top1%er's' are what they demand and they'd rather share one of these men instead of looking at realistic men that will actually love them and be loyal.
    Women can say what they want because it does not matter. They do it anyway.
    Most of these women always say the right things, but how they behave is the hookup and all bang the same guys in rotation.
    Be proud you're not one of these. I hope you find what you are looking for and stick to your convictions.
  • AviatorTom
    We're all born as virgins. Why the shaming? Maybe just embarrassment by those that, in hindsight, they lost their virginity when they didn't want to. Or maybe jealousy that they're no longer virgins.

    To be truthful, I haven't seen much virgin shaming. If anything, just the opposite. Guys wanting to educate a virgin in their first time.
  • Guffrus
    Here's the thing though:

    You are actually the one bringing this up, what that means is that you have taken in this idea and taken ownership of it and now repeat it to yourself.

    If you dont like feeling that you are being shamed by this then stop shaming yourself.

    People say all sorts of things which could be hurtful etc, these are invitations, you dont have to accept them, thats a choice that you are making.
  • SixFootSexy
    Virginity - if you're an especially attractive individual, is one of the most difficult things to maintain in our culture.

    I think it's rare people are shamed for it, unless they are dating the wrong people, or hanging out with folks who don't have their best interests at heart. Most men would prefer to marry a virgin, but date a girl who is easy. They are two different marketplaces, don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
  • siegetiming
    Like 1 Person
  • genericname85
    how about: feeling shamed needs to stop. why do people always try to change the world around them, when just changing yourself and how yo see things and react to things is so much easier?
    Like 1 Person
    • Because there are actually some things that are deserving of shame.

    • @BrosephBrostar yeah sure though i personally think if you know your shit, then people shaming you, shouldn't phase you.

    • I don't necessarily agree. There are some things that even though people claim are A-OK, they know are wrong and get very agitated when you remind them that it is in fact wrong.

      Starts with F. Ends with at.

  • MJtheCoach
    Only a girl who has been with million would say this.
    I care some guys don’t!
    If a girl has too many dicks I don’t wanna F get!
    That’s why I don’t like prostitutes.

    Its called preference.

    Get over yourself.

    No one wants a loose nasty sticking out kitty.
  • Mangospacho
    It’s nobody’s business anyway and the same people who will slut or virgin shame are the same people who will blow up the second you shame them for even the same thing.
    Like 1 Person
  • Browneye57
    Are you making excuses for yourself?

    Virginity isn't a condition or a malady that needs to be fixed or cured.
    Like 1 Person
  • BeenThereLovedIt
    1. yes, virgin shaming needs to stop, totally agree.
    2. Virgins frequently announcing that they are virgins also needs to stop.
    • Rachel794

      Why? Sexually active people proudly announce their sex lives all the time

    • Not in my social circles, and I'm pretty much blue collar.

  • BazookaTrouper
    I've experienced this plenty. I've always thought it was more of a thing that happens to guys given that toxic expectations try to shoehorn us into womanizing horn dogs and we get labeled as "gay" if we aren't. Though I have heard from some sources virgin shaming and asexual exclusionism is a thing women go through too. My guess is the sexual liberation side of fighting the prudish Christian Right and white supremacists who wants sex to be for breeding exclusively. I personally haven't met a woman who I found really attractive, who was single, who I could trust.

    But even if someone wasn't looking for someone or sex, people shouldn't be negatively judging them for it. I mean what are they going to do? Pass a law that mandates virgins have sex against their will? Just how ridiculous would that be? Though I laugh at the thought someone attempting to push that one trough Congress without it getting filibustered.
    Like 1 Person
  • boobliker
    It's yours, Keep it safe for as long as you want, you will know when it's what you want.
    Like 1 Person
  • ImmortalHanma
    Sex isn’t that big of a deal to me ion really give a shit
    Like 2 People
  • EnglishEuropean
    With virgin shaming and slut shaming I feel like we've covered everyone.
  • summiter
    I agree with you Rachel. Good points!
    Like 1 Person
  • exitseven
    Short but to the point. I agree with you 100%.
    Like 2 People
  • modeve
    I agree.
  • dray995
    I agree.
    Like 1 Person
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