Top 6 Things I Look For In Older Men

[derpaderp]

It's no secret that a lot of guys, probably even most prefer younger girls. And many of us are attracted to older men. There's no shame in that! I firmly believe that age is just a number when both parties are of legal consent and that compatibility can exist between any two people who are able to establish a connection of common interests and romantic/sexual chemistry.

I can honestly say...I have a hard time dating guys my own age. Not because they're *all* immature, drama queens who are inexperienced or incompatible in bed...just because most of the ones I've met are.

I've dated a lot of guys in my 19 years of life. From 18 to 52, 5'5 to nearly 7ft, Black, White you name it. And I've found out that I have a type...I generally like older guys (30s and 40s). But not just any! Here is a list of 10 things I need to see in an older man to be interested..

#1. Attractive. This is where it all starts for 90% of us at least 75% of the time and saying otherwise is a joke. It's the spark that lights our interest in the first place. For me a guy doesn't have to be anything amazing..but he does have to be tall, broad and sexy with a great smile for me to show any kind of initial interest.

#2. Personality. Yes, of course we look at this too..just only after we're hooked. But it is equally important. An ideal guy for me will be sweet and adoring as well as charming, sensual and positive...he should not be arrogant, dismissive or come on too strong.

#3. Intelligence. For me dating an older guy, respect is a must. If a guy can't keep up in a conversation it's an absolute turn off. I prefer him to be smarter than me, and clever enough to carry on deep, funny, witty and every other kind of conversation because good conversation lays the groundwork for a strong connection.

#4. Protective. Does this mean he's gotta turn into the hulk everytime another guy glances sideways. Absolutely not. Jealousy is a turn OFF. But I expect my guy to be the one to stand up for me if I'm being attacked and care about my well being enough to watch when it's being treatened. With my personal history of abusive men, this is a big one that separates the men from the boys.

#5. Good in bed. A big reason I like older guys...life experience. And this includes sex life. My first time trying it with an older man I was shocked...he actually made me orgasm. No one had ever done that before. I've realized since that older men just know how to turn a woman on...after all they've been doing it longer!

#6. Successful. No I'm not a gold digger. But people are going to say that anyway, even though I'm extremely uncomfortable when men spend inordinate amounts of money on me. But a big part if the reason I like dating an older man is the respect and security that comes with the fact they're usually more settled in life.

I like getting into a nice car with a guy that smells good and knowing we're going to have a fun, classy evening instead of going to some lame bar or club or wherever else young guys take me. It's what makes dating older guys such a pleasurable experience.

Success also signifies a lot of other things I look for in an older man. Power, dominance, assertiveness, maybe even a healthy dose of aggressiveness. It completes the picture and like it or not, it's an absolute must for me.

All this and more can make dating an older guy really great...if you're a younger girl who's considering it...go for it! Yes, people will call you all kinds of names...but you know better. It can be a really positive and learning experience.

And if you're an older guy who likes younger girls...don't worry, it doesn't make you a creepy scumbag by itself. Young girls have a lot of the qualities men look for in a woman. It's human nature! So go with and have fun!

[Anonymous]

i really hope that not all girls think like this. it would be really sad if they did!
first of all, im 23 and dont want to date a 16 or even a 18 year old. 2nd, unless we are players, how are we supposed to be experienced in bed at our 'young' age? aren't you unexperienced as well? (for example, some girls also have to work during sex to get an orgasm, not just lie in bed waiting for the guy to do everything like most girls your age do) doesn't anybody want to find a partner and learn together/with each other?
not to mention, i do think that a guy in his mid to late 30s, or older, going out with a 20 year old is weird as fuck!!! i dont even need to hear that 'they are both legal' crap. call me old fashioned, but that doesn't mean shit to me. i mean, from an older guys POV, i can see why they would want to have sex with a younger girl. on a younger girls POV i can't comment. but anything other then sex, even just meeting for coffee (!!!), is, as i said, just creepy as hell! i think even from a males pov! sorry but it just tells me that the guy is a weird freaky looser who couldnt (and/or doesn't want to) find somebody to really settle down and enjoy life with, and that the girl is a materialistic psycho (if she wants something just a bit serious) who just wants to be taken care of and has no desire to accomplish anything in life other then enjoy the 'good life' with her 'accomplished man' who already 'has it all'

[derpaderp]

You sound more butthurt that women like me are looking for someone who can satisfy us all around. And yes, I'm less experienced than a lot of the guys I date... but I'm still pretty good and it's different for women generally... the guy has to work at getting a girl off and know what he's doing (I'm particularly difficult this way). And I don't think most men would have problem teaching a younger girl a few things.

When I hook up with guys my age I generally walk away sore and unsatisfied tbh. And FYI, sex is one of the LESS important aspects for me... the others were a lot more important but you completely ignored them..

And you really have no right to talk about people like that or project your morals on them. Most guys I date are very conscientious of the age different and handle it with class. They aren't weird because it makes you uncomfortable.. they'd only be weird if their interest was unwanted and they kept pursuing.

[Opinion Owner]

the other 5 things you look for can be found in guys your age, so whats there to say?
i see you are a very deluded girl. because they are not 'pursuing' they aren't weirdos? lmao! these guys dont care about you. the nice things they do is to keep you around. once you loose interest, they just go to the next one. them not pursuing you doesn't mean shit! they dont care about, why would they pursue you? and they are still freaks! i worked with people like this for 4 years. i heard how they talked to girls when they were with them and how they talked about them when the girls were not there. sure you might like the sex, but other then that, you're living an illusion! again, these guys dont care about you!! just like everything in life, there is prob 1 guy in a 1000000 that does mean well, but i doubt that you are getting one exception after the other... so yeah!
but it seems that you convinced yourself really hard that all is fine, and hey, what ever makes you sleep at night, right?

[derpaderp]

I don't even need to argue this because I know you're wrong. You must be really small minded if you lump people together and 2 dimensionalize things like that.

And you misunderstood... I didn't say they didn't pursue me or that there was anything wrong with that. I said it'd only be creepy if they did and I was uninterested.

Do you realize you'll be their age one day... you think what? One day you just wake up and turn into a pervert? If he likes young girls when he's 20 he's probably gonna like them when he's 30 and if he's single that's probably who he's going to pursue.

I trust myself enough to sort the jerks from the ones who aren't jerks... cuz yes, a lot are gonna be assholes! But that's all guys. Like my age... college age? So many of those guys are rapey creeps. In my experience older guys have always been more gentlemanly and respectful even if we never end up getting serious.

You don't have to understand but don't judge what you don't get

[Opinion Owner]

omg are you serious when you are saying 'If he likes young girls when he's 20 he's probably gonna like them when he's 30' ? hahahahahaha xD
when i was 15 yo i liked 14/15 yo girls, so by your logic, i should still like them now? hilarious!!
and dont judge what i dont get? you are the one that doesn't get it here. keep believing that all the sweet things they say to you are real. they are probably fuckin 5 other girls at the same time. you claim they are 'more experienced' so do you think they did not master the craft of having game? of course you feel 'better' with them. thats what they need for you to stay.
and after hearing you talk for a while, you are pretty much making my point. hanging with some idiots where guns get pulled at you, lots of hook ups... i really think you do fall into my categorie of some one 'who just wants to be taken care of and has no desire to accomplish anything in life other then enjoy the 'good life' with her 'accomplished man' who already 'has it all''

[derpaderp]

You know literally nothing about me. How in gods name was I supposed to know he'd take me to those peoples house? He was a good looking guy MY age and he asked me out abd I said yes... not my fault he was another immature jackass.

Second... yes they ARE fucking other girls. That's how dating works. I don't expect exclusivity without commitment... one day I'll have that buy I'm still young and testing the waters a bit.

And what's wrong with wanting to be taken care of? I just prefer that dynamic. doesn't mean I want excess luxury. You're simplifying this and putting me in a box with no real reason.. you just sound bitter that girls might actually have expectations in the men they datw

[Opinion Owner]

i dont need a lesson on dating lol and if you are also aware that they are fucking somebody else, do you really believe that they care about you? women are the ones that always try to have an emotional connection, even if its not serious, men just dont give a fuck!
the only reason i might sound bitter is, going back to my very first point, i hope that not all girls think like this because i dont want to date a 16 year old lol. very simple.
you can do whatever you want. do gangbangs with 5 of them if you want, i dont care.
i just want a girl with realistic expectations, like 'lets both grow and be successful together' or 'lets do some good for each other' etc. and not the superficial stuff that seems to worry you.
again, by now i do understand why you want them. im definitely not trying to convince you to stop seeing them. i just hope you are aware that you are just being used, that your reality is make believe, and hope you enjoy being used, other then that its all good;)

[Opinion Owner]

and by the way, 'If he likes young girls when he's 20 he's probably gonna like them when he's 30' is really some of the funniest things I've read at least in the last weeks. lol im still laughing xD

[Marinepilot]

Deal with it. I did !

[AllisonD]

I like some older guys too, but the younger ones are always going for me because they think I'm younger than them even though I'm not. I just look younger.

[Ninamer]

i like the way you think about what people might think of you or call you , i know a lot of people say we don't care but they do , and what did you write confirms that you really don't care , good for you

[Pedantic]

The "older man" trend wasn't as popular when I was young. There were some who did it, and it turned heads everywhere. Now it seems more commonplace. I think there is a generational gap that is quite serious going on here.

I would actually like to see my younger brothers out there getting in good with the girls and finding the happiness they can bring. I'm not really sure what happened in the last 20 years; its not like I spend my life studying young guys. I do see hordes of them though in video games, dominated by all male players. I'm concerned this might be reducing their experience with women.

There was a viewpoint when I was young that you drop frivolty (important business is different) at any opportunity to be with a girl. Why trade a potentially awesome road leading to killer sex for a stupid video game? That was the view. Now many of them would rather be online. What the heck!

Well, I don't claim to really know. It is a disturbing trend.

[Rawrzz]

Women have always had the desire to be with older males. Just as men have always had the desire to be with young females. The age preference in all adult males, for females, is age 22. In other words, most men prefer 22 year old women. Incidentally, my generation and age range--talk about competition.

You sir, overestimate the importance and value of sex. I'm not dealing with all the bullshit issues that come along with dating a woman. To attract a woman, you have to become something specific. Not to mention the ever present potential for incredibly painful heartbreak. No thanks. Neutrality is much more stable and ultimately more enjoyable than the ups and downs of crazy women. I think I'll not ruin my life with an STD or pregnancy.

Video games, however, allow you to do incredible things, living vicariously in much, much more interesting worlds than this one. If I want endorphins, I'll eat some cake. Hell of a lot easier than finding sex, and with MUCH less strings attached.

[Rawrzz]

Ahh, yes. Pretty much no downside to video games. MANY downsides to pursuing women and attempting to get some pussy. In the end, it's not worth it. Happiness at a huge cost. No thanks. I have plenty of experience with women, and all of those experiences led me to this conclusion: the dating game is not worth it, and neither are women. It's a base instinct, not rational. Transcending those instincts will lead me to a more prosperous life, so that I don't have to deal with tons upon tons of bullshit.

And video games are not a frivolity. If anything, pursuing women is. I already know you won't understand this. Life does not exist solely in a pussy. Or in sharing life with a woman--something human males aren't naturally inclined to.

[Pedantic]

@Rawrzz
I don't know man, young women can be sexy but when they open their mouth it makes me want to hang myself. Give me a mature woman any day.

[Anonymous]

I'll be honest I have no problem with a women dating an older guy... it's a natural fact by now that guys mature a lot slower compared to women. I also know that there are plenty of women who are fine dating their own age so reason for me to be pissed off about any of this. I know that some women are looking to settle down at an earlier time than men their own ages... take me for example I don't plan on getting married until I'm in my late 20s and early 30's because I want to make sure that I'm financially stable to take care of a family. I hate when some guys call women gold diggers when they date someone who's well off financially... it's only natural to go for a life of stability.

[NitNoy3]

So can you take these older guys to hang out with your friends (e. g. friend's birthday party)? I can't imagine a 40-year-old man or woman feeling comfortable hanging out with a bunch of 19 year olds. So do you always have to keep your dating life separate from the rest of your life?

[derpaderp]

My friends vary in age widely but average out at about 25... the ones I get along with at least. Most of my friends my age are too into clubs and drugs for me to enjoy spending time with them anymore.

Also I rarely go up to 40, tho I'm willing to. But generally I stick to 30-35. And most tell me aside from looks it feels like being with someone their age.

[NitNoy3]

Have fun. I dated a few older guys in the past, as well. Never serious though. Just remember... sometimes the older you are, the more baggage you have.

[kheserthorpe]

I think a lot of guys have trouble understanding 6. I didn't get it till I was around 30, the difference between gold diggers, who date guys they aren't attracted to for the financial gains, and how many women are, which is more attracted to successful guys, even if they are NOT directly benefiting from his money. It's as 'real' as guys finding women with a good waist-hip ratio hot, it signifies good genetics.

[derpaderp]

Correct... if I were a gold digger I wouldn't care about 1-5. I'd just be there for his money and nothing else. But really his money doesn't matter to me at all... his success does and what that says about him abd his drive and the kind of man he is.

[Anonymous]

Loved this article! So many good points. I dated guys my age in college, and quickly got bored of drunken parties and the pranks their crazy friends were always playing on him. Dated a few older men, and ended up marrying one. We have been happy together for over 15 years now. I think maturity has a lot to do with it. Yeah, my friends called me names at the time, but guess what? Now most of them are bitter, unhappy, or divorced, and my man and I are still loving life together.

[derpaderp]

My wake up call was when I was hanging out with a guy and his buddy and he tried pulling a prank on a friend of his and her dad came out with a gun... I was like... this is the last time I go out with a 19 year old guy haha.

Glad you found someone awesome to share your life with!!

[Anonymous]

So I'm 14 and I like this 49 year old man I'm just crushing but I like old guys and he's a very successful lawyer and very good looking. With no wife and no kids. And everytime I admit to it someone judges me. It's like they automatically assume I have a PhD in gold digging.

[derpaderp]

" I firmly believe that age is just a number when both parties are of *legal consent*"

I'm not judging you but wait til you're 18 okay? You're still a child.. it's not the same thing. You sound mature but you're not an adult yet so be sure not to have any contact of any kind with this man and realizes if he engages he is absolutely a predator.

[Opinion Owner]

Yes. I understand Miss. And thanks for not judging. I don't want a boyfriend right now I just like older guys.

[derpaderp]

Ofc I'm not judging you, its just important to be safe:) and yeah! Good idea, save all that for when you're an adult no need to rush in

[Opinion Owner]

Yes ma'am.

[username3]

i don't know why guys are getting pissed over this, i mean they will get old and younger chicks will prolly get attracted to them as well, just cheer up, younger guys never attracted to us so 1 point for you :p

[HarryTrasker]

Let's boil it down to the top 6. 1. Money 2. Money 3. Money 4. Money 5. Money 6. Money

Fixed. Women are always looking for the easy way out aka the life lottery ticket. Best bet is simply to give them what the deserve which is the s--t sandwich. Equality B---hes! :0

[helpman]

If all young women goes to old guys
then what should young guys do?
:/
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Anyway loved reading your take

[Queen_naki5]

Old women?

[helpman]

@Queen_naki5
I like young gals then old
All old women r kinda mother figure
no offence to old women

[Queen_naki5]

Well not all young gals like older men. Sometimes a mature younger man is much more attractive. Older men tend to have more baggage.

[helpman]

@Queen_naki5
looks lile the search of such kind of gals begins now

The new human revolution of 2015
'finding gals who like young guys than old '

[MargaritaPeach]

Most young ladies date men their own age for a while before moving on to their more mature counterparts. So instead of just partying with them, wait until you get to know them a bit, and then open up to them a bit. Share your dreams and financial goals, your career aspirations, your emotions; spend a little time making sure your girl is satisfied in the bedroom. Young guys have most of the same things that attract us to older men, they just haven't learned how to open up and share them with us, because that's what society trains you to do. :/

[helpman]

@MargaritaPeach
I understand what u r trying to say but

Thats not FAIR
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:/ not fair
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:(
:/
-_-
not fair at all

[Marinepilot]

This proves my point entirely. I was excoriated by many women on this board for stating that older men much prefer younger women. This proves my point. IN SPADES ! Many younger women prefer older men as well. Your witness.

[MargaritaPeach]

Very true.

[Hexxus]

I agree with this. I dont consider myself "older" at 27, but the girls I date/hook up with tend to be in the range of 16 - 19 years old.

[abundantlyrich]

The younger ones are like Snails slow and go. The ones who learnt fast scores more chicks than a snail.

[Anonymous]

I have always loved older men. They are more mature, classy, sexy. I've been with many.

[Victoria_xoxo]

These are things most girls want in any age, regardless of age

[Anonymous]

But if they are so amazing what do you feel you bring to a relationship. Do you expect them to use their resources on you?

[Anonymous]

So basically, he's got to have money, and lots of it. You could have just put it to one thing, not 6

[derpaderp]

You're a fucking idiot. If I wanted money I would date guys a lot older and richer and dumber and less sexual than the guys I do.

[Opinion Owner]

... and yet you want to be a "stay at home mom"... you might want to rethink why you want older men

[Rawrzz]

I don't know why, but this disgusts me.

[essaywriter]

hahahaha. yes