My friend told me last night that I should write a take on my view of sex, because it would be interesting to hear my view. So, here are my thoughts on the topic that everybody loves, sex.
I think that in this day in age sex has taken on a selfish motive and is more about pleasure seeking and "spicing things up", then it is about bonding and connecting with the one your with. There was a time that sex was another way to express your feelings for someone. To show them how much you feel, for you to both feel it together. It was (as I said) a way to bond and connect and just feel your and show your love through your body (making love). It actually use to mean something to people. It was a sacred and private act between two people, not meant to be shared with anyone else. It's not like that anymore.
Now, it's about seeking pleasure and how good it feels and orgasming and how many times that person can make you cum. It's about sex positions, p*rn , lingerie, fetishes, recording it, going down on each other, etc etc. It's about everything superficial and all the things that don't matter, except the one thing that should being with the one you care for and or love (ideally both). This site is filled with questions on giving the best "blow job" or the best way to "eat a girl out" How to "spice up your sex life" and people complaining that "they don't have sex with their significant other anymore and they don't know what to do". Questions on " how to seduce someone" or "to seduce the one they're with." All of this is all in the name of pleasure and self satisfaction (but with another person). People talk about how they had sex 5 times a day and the only thing that comes to my mind is. " how is that even possible? Don't you two have jobs? What did you tell your boss (Hey, boss. I have to go f my girlfriend now, I'll be back in 10)? I mean, how else could someone who works have sex that much?" Logically, it makes no sense to me and honestly I think 5 times is a little much. I mean, if it's purely out of lust with no feelings involved I can understand that. But, if you're in a committed relationship and all you can find to do together is have sex and then freak out when you don't, I don't think that is a very good omen and definitely not a relationship that's going to make it through all the things life's gonna throw your way as a couple.
People put too much merit on sex and it's importance in a relationship. As I said, I know it's a great way to bond and connect and to express how you feel in a passionate way. However, people don't look at the bigger picture when it comes to certain things in life. Like, if your significant other became paralyzed tomorrow and could never have sex again, would you still love them? Would you still want to be with them? If your answer is no, then you probably never were together for the right reasons to start with. I think everything should have a happy medium and sex in relationships is one of those things. I'm not as consciously self aware about a lot of things in life, like most people are (sex is one of those things). I won't say it doesn't cross my mind or I don't have dirty dreams, because I do. I just don't have a game plan of how it will or should be. I'm virgin and I feel like a lot of virgins male and female freak out about there first time and I'm not saying I wouldn't be nervous, because I would. I just don't worry about, if he'll like my vagina, if my breasts will be the right size for him, if his penis will be big and what it will look like, if he'll be experienced and will I be bad because I'm not, will he be a virgin like me and if he is will he know what he's doing, will it hurt, will I orgasm, etc, etc. I'm not in a relationship now, so I figure when I am and sex is put on the table I'll worry about it then and even when is on the table. I'll probably just wait until we're in the room together and go on passion, emotions, adrenaline and let are bodies tells us what to do. But, it does me no good to fret about it now. As far as it being good or not, I feel that even if it wasn't good in technical terms by most people standards, it would be to me. Because, I'm with the one I care for and love, what could be more amazing then that? If I take the romance off the table though, it will probably end up like that Zoosk dating commercial and that's okay, because at least it's real and I don't want perfection. I just want to be close, I want love and that's another way I differ from people. Most people want the act of sex, I want the emotion behind why people have sex to begin with (or should) and that's love (or at least feelings of caring).
In conclusion, for me sex means something and I don't care about all that other stuff. What I want isn't an act, it's a relationship and the feelings that led to that relationship and the act that gets produced to express those feelings. My view is sex isn't about how you do it, but instead how you feel for that person your with. Sex has lost it's meaning in my opinion and maybe one day it will get it's true meaning back. I know people will disagree with this and I'm fully prepared for that. this is just myTake on the subject of sex, at least part of what I think.
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