Tinder Dating: Men Edition

[Anonymous]

Ahhhh... the wonderous and vast world of online dating. Many twenty-somethings are turning to the world of online dating as a means to satisfy sexual desire, meets their one and only or see what the big fuss over online dating is about. Aside from those reasons, online dating also serves as a way for busy individuals to meet the opposite sex from the comfort of their own home! It would seem that love in the 21st century should be so much easier with these new ways to meet and communicate with the opposite sex, yet... online dating much things much more complicated. Here is my story and my take on the realms of online dating, but we will take a look at Tinder, an online tool in which I am all too familar with.

My name is Thomas. I am 24. I'm a pretty averag guy with a lot of ambition. I've always been the guy who many have called "Mr. Right". I am a college graduate and graduated top of my class. I wouldn't call myself athletic, but I value my health and hit the gym often and enjoy taking fitness classes. I also wouldn't peg myself as popular, but I do have a great group of friends that I hang out with every weekend. I enjoy doing community service at animal shelters. I work as an Account Manager for a major corporation. I live in a high class apartment complex and I drive a pretty nice car.

When you read all of this, you may instantly think that I have it made. You may think to yourself, "he sounds like a great guy and has all his ducks sitting in a row". Many people say this to me, but that's far from the truth. Because of my busy lifestyle and due to work, I have a hard time meeting women and my love life is in total ruins. That's when my friends suggested Tinder to me.

When I first got Tinder last fall (October 2014), I was so excited. I put my best pictures and I wrote a pretty detailed and honest biography about myself. I felt like a kid at a candystore. I was just swiping right to every woman that popped up. I would later just unmatch those women that didn't appeal to me in terms of attractiveness or persona. By the end of the first week of Tinder, I had over 170+ matches! During those proceeding months, I also went on dates with about 15 women. But those dates didn't really go anywhere at all. I continued to use Tinder for a while, and here are the types of women I would encounter almost everyday.

The Never Satisfied:

This is the type of women I would regularly encounter on Tinder. This type of woman will constantly complain about how there are no good men. How men only want sex. How men have always let them down. I have encountered this kind of woman many times on Tinder.

The High Standard Women:

This is another type of women that frequent Tinder. These women are looking for the impossible -- "Prince Charming"! Everything about the guy has to be perfect. He looks need to be on point. His personality needs to be on point. His career needs to be on point. His conversation has to be on point. They won't settle for less. I've actually went on a few dates with women like this from Tinder. Even if the date goes smoothly and everything was right... as soon as you say one wrong thing that doesn't meet their standards, they will instantly reject you. These women are also very smary, usually career oriented, attending graduate school and judge men very harshly.

The Girl Looking For A "Rebound Guy":

Ths type of girl is hard to spot at first... but as the conversation goe on, they will reveal how they recently broke up with their ex and how they are looking to meet new people. When you think about the term "rebound", you may automatically thing "sex"... but these women don't want to have sex with you. They will talk to you about their relationships as you are trying to get to know them, bringing up their ex quite often and telling you how awful or mean or terrible he was. To these girls, you're just another girlfriend they can share their problems with.

The Time Waster:

As the title says... these women are time wasters. You will go in circles with them until YOU decide to drop them or they get bored with you. These women aren't really looking to go on dates or meet you in person. They are just looking for social media buddies or trying to get their followers up. They will match with you because you are cute. Beyond that, they have no interest in ever meeting up with you or getting to know you outside of the digital world. There are a lot of women like that on Tinder of all ages... but a lot of them are usually 18-21 who hold this title.

Baby Mommas:

Depending on what you're looking for, these type of women aren't into games. They are willing to go out on dates with you, get to know you, and want something real. But... this all depends on you. Are you, a single successful male, willing to tackle taking care and spending time with another man's child?

The Clingy Woman:

Every man wants a woman to clamore all over him, but these women put the "boyfriend" tag on you too quickly. As soon as you start the conversation, everything seems to be flowing well and you too get along. You get her number and you begin talking more. In the coming days, she will badger you for not texting enough. She will expect you to plan dates with her. She will expect you to call her during your lunch break. If you have not talked to her in a day, she will get pissy with you and call you out on it. These types of women need to be stimulated by you 24/7... and if you are not showing them attention, they get angry... FAST. This has happened to me a few times. I also had to break dates I made with these types of women for personal family reasons, and they refused to go out with me or talk to me again for breaking the date!

In Closing:

Tinder is a fun little tool. Great way to meet women, talk to woomen and refine your skills. Beyond that... it's not a great way to forge lasting relationships with women or even hookups (all women on Tinder say they don't want to hook up in their profile).

If you use Tinder for dating purposes, you will be sorely disappointed. After using Tinder for so long and meeting this types of women, I have come to the conclusion that many women on Tinder are there because they are "bad daters" or want something very specific.

I will probably have to get out there in the real world and try meeting women the old fashion way -- IN PERSON

MEN:

Have you ever used Tinder and experienced these types of women? What are your thoughts on online dating and using Tinder?

WOMEN:

Do you think online dating and even Tinder is an effective way to meet other men? Do you agree that women who use social media are "different" than those that usually meet men in real life situations?

[miserybusiness]

This was a fun article! Haha. To answer your Q, I think it's effective for some people. I see so many stories where people have met their SO from Tinder or a dating app.

I use dating apps often because they're a LOT of fun and the types of guys I usually see differ too:
1) the pump n' dumper: the most common sort of crowd; guys who're just on there to get laid
2) the happily ever after: guys searching for committed relationships; many are nice but some come off as strangely desperate (first message: "hi, what do you think about marriage?")
3) the fakes: typically shirtless dudes using pictures from the net
4) boring-flirtateous: the ones who flirt via text, but never meet
5) time-wasters: exactly the same as the one you described
6) dads
7) trolls
8) bored, normal people: those rare keepers.

[myTake Owner]

Ha! You should make an article to counteract mine.

[miserybusiness]

Hahaha I should! And I would! If I wasn't a lazy arse.

[bloodmountain1990]

I've heard horror stories of guys sending dirty messages and dick pics right away which ruins it for guys genuinely interested in a date because some girls might think a guy may be nice at first but is just looking to get laid.

[Bretticus33]

I think another type you encounter on Tinder is the ego booster: She only uses the app as a way of reaffirming that she is beautiful, but doesn't bother to message with any guys (except maybe the really hot ones)

[bloodmountain1990]

Very true, they fall under the time wasters.

[myTake Owner]

That's true.

[bombamboum]

I was only on one dating website adopteunmec which is pretty famous among people my age in my country. Just like all my friends, when you begin on that website, a lot of men talk to you, most only want sex and at some point, you don't know which one want to know you and which one only want sex.

I was only interest in sex accounted so it was perfect. I got what I wanted from this website, men had what they wanted. I was still open to something serious but I couldn't see that happen there.

Somehow, through one of this hook ups, I met the man I now share my life with but it was really random.

My friends who did meet men wanted sex or just had awkward dates. One is really shy and always ends the conversation when the guy bring the idea of a date.

It happened to me but if you expect to meet the love of your life on a dating website, you'll be extremely disappointed. It's great when you want to meet men, when you want meaningless sex and have fun.

I don't think I could've use Tinder though... because among all those men who came to me... I would always look at their profile. The man could be a hottie, if his description was bad? It was a big NO.
It might be fun but it's still a weird concept.

[puplecard]

I used tinder in the fall and met my ex on it. He cheated and dumped me. I don't know why I went back on it but I met my now boyfriend on it. Things are going extremely well I think! There are some decent guys on it that I have made friends with. I never have had a "non social media" date before but I don't consider myself extremely different. I just don't want to come off slutty to people so I don't make myself available. I am happy with my boyfriend even tho we live 35mins apart. Maybe I am an exception to this tho ;)

[mysterygi]

I recently got a Tinder and after a month am just starting to actually enjoy it. In the beginning I was just using it to really test the waters, go on a few dates, hook up (with the hopes that it would lead somewhere else but without knowing that was what I wanted). As time went on I started talking to some guys for a longer period of time before deciding to go out with them, I slowed things down, and got the chance to see their true colors in terms of whether they were jerks, real, flaky, etc.

Those two phases were important to me. And now I've reached the stage where I've started to actually feel a connection with a few guys. With one we've facetimed, gone on dates, and hooked up. We have great chemistry and good communication. He wants a relationship with me but wants me to have the freedom to do what I want and doesn't want to move too fast and genuinely had tears in his eyes when I looked upset. I'm not hung up on him or anything, so that is why I feel safe, because we are still getting to know each other. If we were to end now, I would not regret it and that is important to me. We have spoken since then, as he knows it was important for me to hear from him after we hung out.

Another guy I haven't met in person yet, but we've had great, very open and mature conversation and are very attracted to each other (I mean in terms of our pictures at least). He texts me good morning and good night and we have had miscommunication (text is hard!) but we had a cooling off period for a couple of days and he came back to talk to me and we worked it out which I think is a telling sign of someone who is patient and wants to make an effort with me.

The last guy I have connected with I had a great first date with. He planned it a week in advance, which is good because it wasn't just spur of a moment "let's get drinks and hookup and never see each other again" and we snapchat each other silly stories and he makes me smile. We are going on our second. He is going to make time for me because my schedule is so busy.

I don't know where things are going from here. And let me be clear, I don't have any high hopes or expectations that I am going to meet my future husband on this application. Without a shadow of a doubt, I appreciate it though because I have learned a lot about others, myself, dating, and life itself.

I am no pro, I still have a LOT to learn. But I think it is important to approach it with an open-mind while staying guarded. Balance seems to be key.

[bluehairgirl21]

I'm sorry for all the girls you have meet, there are some of us who are the exception. So don't lose hope 😊

[ccp16]

there are average, normal people using tinder too. They are super rare, but it happens. Currently seeing someone off tinder and we hit it off immediately and it hasn't stopped yet. I admit, I used it more as a game to waste time as there were so many bots and girls who would never respond. But the few who did and the ones I went out with were fun for sure. I think it is super important to approach it with no expectations though

[bloodmountain1990]

Agreed, that goes with anything. Expectations only lead to disappointments for the most part. Not to sound discouraging at all. But for example, the ones I've met off there who showed a lot of interest quickly and gave their number out quickly were also the ones to lose interest quickly.

[YourFutureEx]

I don't use tinder or such $#!'|' but I know such type of girls are expected to encounter on stuffs like that.

[Annajamey]

I was on Tinder and it was where I met my partner. He superliked me (I had to google that) and he only had photos on his profile so I ‘liked’ him back, a couple of hours later he started the conversation with an opener so endearing and genuinely interested that we started talking daily. We met in person 3 weeks later, fell in love, met up every weekend for nearly a year and a half until he moved here last year, now we’re expecting our first baby 🥰 we were definitely meant to be!

[1GuyOpinion]

Nah, I just date woman I found around my college. I don't need tinder.

[SakuraChii]

I don't think timder is good, im not really old enough to be on anything but I heard that theirs a bunch of 10-15 year olds on there maybe some 16,17 too. And some people are getting matched up with them.

[myTake Owner]

I don't understand why kids fake their ages to talk to adults... that's very unsettling.

[Jimrat86]

To be fair, I haven't had Tinder for very long. But thus so far, my experiences have fallen way short of my expectations. The women all just seem to want attention and that's it. I will get a convo going, then they will engage for a very brief window of time before they simply stop communicating. Why would you swipe right on me then?

Honestly, if girls want to just swipe right in order to get attention, I think it's ridiculous. Especially considering how much attention they get on an almost daily basis in real life. Do they seriously need even more now? If I'm getting swiped right for that purpose only, then I feel a bit used. Kinda hurts.

[BubbleGumGumz]

Maybe she swiped right because she found you attractive but then got turned off or bored after conversing with you. It doesn't always have to be about attention. It's normal to lose interest in someone after the initial "ooh, he's cute" distraction wears off.

[Jimrat86]

@BubbleGumGumz Well considering how much effort and creativity I put into my messages and the completely lack thereof on the part of the women, I'd say I am the one who should be getting bored.

[mysterygi]

@BubbleGumGumz I agree with this. Sometimes guys start talking to me and I swiped right for a reason, thought they'd be interesting. Then after asking me some boring questions about myself, I don't have the energy to keep conversing with them. And I'm more interested in getting a message from my other matches than those. Have to prioritize.

[Jimrat86]

@mysterygi why is it always their responsibility to entertain you and keep you excited? Do you yourself take the initiative to keep them invested?

[meatballs21]

Sir,

Simply buying you a beer as commiseration for all this bullshit you’ve been through wouldn’t be enough. We’d have to hit Hooters and get a few pitchers and pounds of wings in.

This is now the best take I’ve read on here. It’s not just Tinder, either – the same happens on OKC and POF and, I assume, the paid sites that allegedly have people who are ‘serious’ because they’re willing to pay a monthly subscription that will raise the standard of entry.

As per your own description, you have so much going for you (at 24!) but this still isn’t good enough.

The Never-Satisfieds often have a rant or set of rules or something else angry and bitter in their bio, don’t they? No shirtless pics, no dick pics, no hookups, “swipe left if you…” Even if said in jest (rarely) it’s a seriously off-putting and a huge red flag. In my experience, if you do get anywhere with them, there is a high risk they’ll become the High Standards. If not, it stills seems more of an attention seeking ploy and they are looking for a sympathetic ear, or are convinced the world really cares what they think so much that they want to broadcast their dissatisfaction for all the world to see. It’s sooooooo tempting to do this on a dating website, but all you’re doing is creating a self-perpetuating prophecy.

The High Standards are where my cynical view that all women just want billionaire bodybuilding doctors comes from. Dealbreakers, sure, but don’t have too many of them! People deserve a chance, you can’t be walking on eggshells – not least of all if you’re suddenly going from a weekend of passion to being dumped and have no idea what you did wrong.

Rebounds I think also share qualities of the Never-Satisfieds in that they want attention and to vent about their ex, often with an ‘all men are pigs, don’t you agree?’ theme.

Timewasters need to spend more time in doctor’s waiting rooms or for cancelled flights. Then again, they might get off on frittering their precious time away.

(continued)

[meatballs21]

Baby Mommas = NO NO NO NO. One of my insta-dealbreakers. Keep swiping and take your crotch spawn with you. Clingy I haven’t encountered in a good long while, though I have had a few encounters where a girl and I messaged like crazy for 48 hours and then she said or did something extremely weird and turned into one of the above types, and I bailed out. I like Tinder, I like dating, but like you, I’m frustrated. I see all these girls that I have a ton in common with and I never hear back from them. But all of the above (except the mommies) are all I seem to end up with. I think there's good people out there, matches for everyone - but they're damned hard to find and even harder to strike up a conversation with. Sometimes just giving someone a chance and talking to them for a bit if all it'll take for you to realize they're worth your time.

[bloodmountain1990]

I just started using tinder after using pof and okcupid for awhile and I think I'm just better off sticking with pof and okcupid. Even when I get a match on tinder, it can be hard to strike a conversation when their bio is blank unlike okcupid and pof where most people have a little info about them.

That being said, these types of women are on pof and okcupid as well. I don't understand he time wasters. You'll talk to them for a week or more and ask them out and they'll be like oh I'm not sure about meeting people off the internet or I'm not looking for anything. They're like I'm just here to let you know that I'm here, I exist lol.

I've talked to a few rebounders and met one off there. Not a good situation to be in at all. I did hook up with one rebounder who that was her only intention but she hid behind wanting a relationship and then ditched me when I liked her back. The others on the rebound kinda fell into time wasters. They would just talk with no intention of meeting. They'd just talk about how they were hurt and then when you try to have a conversation with them, they'd ignore you.

Regarding the baby mamas, I tried giving them a chance but I get kinda bored with them but a lot of them are boring because they don't talk about shit other than how they love their kids and how their kids are their first priority. I mean I understand why, but I've had times where girls with kids are like I gotta put my kid to sleep before I can go out and some of them are like we have to reschedule because I gotta watch my kid. Some of them have even considered bringing their kids along with on the date.

[bloodmountain1990]

Don't get me wrong, not every woman on dating sites is like this. If you have patience and look hard enough you can find someone worthwhile. My issue is, I've gotten tons of dates off pof and okcupid and none of them have led to anything but a hookup for fling at most. Sounds great, but it's not. Depends on what you want I guess.

[CreepyOldMan]

Good grief! Why would anyone date online. I don't do it, never have, and never will. What insanity. Who in their right mind would put themselves into such a meat market?

[Thrifty]

I used Tinder before, but I may be the clingy version of the chick...

I met a girl named Aly on Tinder and she looked so good. When I met her, too, she was tall (5'10), brunette, long hair, amazing kissable lips...

Before meeting her, I remember giving myself a pep-talk and going in with the game plan: Just to listen and not talk too much

I took her to dinner and the whole time, she wouldn't talk nor eat her food. I remember me saying "I feel like I am talking way too much" and she says "I don't like talking..." And I look at her plate and she maybe ate two pieces of broccoli when I finished my plate clean as baby at his baptism.

On the way out, I ended up telling her worst case scenario that we could still be friends.

When ever I thought about her, the song "Bye Bye Bye" from NSYNC kept popping up in my head, so I ended up just letting her go.

My current method is: I will probably have to get out there in the real world and try meeting women the old fashion way -- IN PERSON.

I figure I am just going to let God take control because I've been disappointed from my own works.

I don't know. There are more and 'many fish in the sea' but I've been so disappointed with women that I don't even want to go fishing anymore.

I wish Jesus could just tell me to throw a net over the right side of the boat then the perfect girl for me will be caught.

But more than catching her, I desire to be able to love, appreciate, support and keep her forever because what could be worse and a waste to have the perfect catch but then line breaks?

I think the perfect catch would have characteristics of love, intimacy, harmony, and communication. Without these, even if you were with a total knock out, you wouldn't truly want to be with her and would continue searching. Am I right?

[thebestaround]

Tinder is for sluts and chad thundercock. It was invented by geek jews who don't use it to get laid. I would recommend having buttsex with your phone instead

[Wintersmorning]

Well I have tinder and that's how I met my best friend haha but I wanna eventually further our relationship so I guess it depends on who you meet.

[Words_and_Wisdom]

Yeesh... I never even gotten a single successful date from tinder...

[Cat221299]

The only girls I ever see on Tinder are overweight, baby mummies, covered in tattoos or face piercings or just come across as total sluts. I’m 19 if that makes a difference.

[mrArcher]

I don't use tinder.

[Notedkibbles]

I hate high maintenance women and time wasters -,-

[myTake Owner]

Time Wasters are the worst. I actually didn't mention this in my article... but I've been stood up by a few Time Wasters from Tinder. They agreed to go on a date with me and never showed up...

[Notedkibbles]

Sorry buddy I do everything in real life I could never step into the online dating scene

[myTake Owner]

How has meeting women in real life worked for you?

[Notedkibbles]

Works well (: its better than online because it makes you feel bold. I approached my exes like that and I wasn't worried about rejection since that happens everyday when I'm playing injustice gods among us

[Notedkibbles]

You're a handsome guy I would give up my left nut to have your accomplishments lol