Should I give my husband a threesome?

About two weeks ago I admitted to my husband that I had cheated on him. I had sex with another guy twice two years ago. Before the other guy, my husband was the only person I had ever been with sexually and the only person I had even dated. I felt horrible about what I had done to him and our relationship. I've apologized several times and told him I didn't want to lose him. That I would do anything to save our marriage. He thinks that I was unsatisfied with our sex life and that's why I cheated. I've tried several times that it wasn't unsatisfaction with our sex life or with him but he doesn't seem to understand. He says that he wants to have a threesome now. That a threesome is the only way to prove my love and that I want to be with him. He also wants to have sex with some other woman twice. After that, he will then be able to move past my cheating. I love him and don't want to lose him. I know I deserve to be punished and accept the consequences of my actions but I don't know if I can go through with a threesome, especially with the fragile state our relationship is in. What should I do? He said if I don't do the threesome than he wants a divorce.
Updates:
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Does everyone really believe a relationship is unable to survive infidelity? I regret what I did with every fiber of my being. I know that I will never do it again. I don't want to cause my husband any more pain. I love him & want to stay w/ him.
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Most Helpful Guys

  • You shouldn't give your husband a threesome. I have nothing against couples who have great trust and love for eachother deciding to have a threesome to add some spark into their love life, but your situation looks nothing like that.

    Deep down, your husband understands as well as you and me that sex cannot repair broken trust. On the one hand, if your husband thinks it can and you give him the threesome he wants, then you will both find that the trust remains broken, so it would do nothing to save the relationship. On the other hand, if your husband doesn't think it can repair broken trust, then his demand comes from a desire for revenge. Being motivated by revenge, he could have the threesome and then end the relationship, thus throwing salt in your wounds. No matter what, a threesome would do nothing to repair that broken trust.

  • Me? Divorce
    In fact, divorce should have been performed before sex with another so better late than never.
    Note that you two can get married again, it's not the end.

    To make such suggestions illustrates in neon lights that his mind now degrades your status from lover/wife to whore that he hopes to manipulate into all his sex fantasies, even share you, humiliates you (and himself - he doesn't get that part yet until it happens) with others. This is not a marriage. Even swinger marriages break up under this strain & temptations. (The exceptions are few but they may comment here to be recognized.)

    Yes, marriages survive infidelity but it's a big stretch to believe they do HIS way. I would say HIS way leads to the same divorce.

Most Helpful Girls

  • No, I don't think this will, work. You are not happy and he is not happy. By you giving him what he says he wants will not change anything, if anything the relationship will continue to deteriorate. I think you all should go see a marriage counselor and try to work your issues out

  • He is gonna dump you after he had his threesome!!! You shouldn't do that for him...only cause you cheated...and he shouldn't ask you to do that...that marriage screams DIVORCE!

    • Oops didn't mean to down vote srry

    • :F :ccc

  • Get a divorce.
    A threesome is not the remedy for broken trust.

    • Oisa korbo na! Hihi Divorce isn't remedy because she wants him.

    • Please transalate my dear hihi Lool sweety..i don't understand bengali that much..remembered our previous conversation? :p

    • Yeah he is crazy and taking wrong moves with his bad mood. I don't know if this girl is also crazy or not? Because if she was to remain loyal to him for rest of her life then she shouldn't have revealed it. There is a saying " nothing is illegal until you get caught"

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What Girls & Guys Said

3 18
  • Getting even isn't forgiving so likely he will still resent it and you will then also resent him. Even if you were to follow the childish eye for an eye he is wanting to get even and then take more. Suggest therapy or accept break up but if you did decide to cave to his game playing you'd have to tell him it's threesome or he can cheat. Neither will fix a relationship and even strong relationships can break after sex games with other people.

  • If you are not comfortable with it don't do it. You will regret it and you can't take it back. I think he might divorce you anyway. I wouldn't do it

  • I don't think letting him cheat or giving him a threesome is going to suddenly satiate his emotional pain. It may give him temporary satisfaction but the fact is he is hurt because he feels betrayed and insecure and having sex with another woman isn't suddenly going to fix that.

    I think you can give a threesome or let him hook up with another woman but just know that it more than likely won't be a long term solution to his feelings of betrayal... plus then you'll have similar feelings

  • So I'm confused. What then was the reason you cheated on him, 2wice?

  • I believe he may be looking to do these things before he dumps you be careful, don't get used by him in this way , you have done wrong but you have apologised , two wrongs don't make a right. He is bullying you tell him to do one. If you message me we can chat a bit more in depth on this. If you bow down to his demands there will be more and more following on and you are going to be left feeling totally used

  • Get the divorce. You both are no good at marriage.

    • I agreed

  • I would go see a therapist. I don't think ultimatums are healthy and I think he's just trying to manipulate you. You being punished isn't going to fix the situation. He's just being a baby bitch. It'll cause more resentment and problems. Honestly a girl doing this would be a sign to gtfo.

  • Ultimatums in a relationship are never really a great idea, and the fact that he wants to cheat on you in order to punish you for your own infidelity is pretty childish.

    But then again, if I were him I would have dumped you a long time ago upon finding out that you cheated on him.

    I would just recommend that you guys get a divorce and take some time for yourself to regroup and reassess your situation.

  • He is seeking tit for tat. I think do it for once and end up all the matter. He could hav done himself all that without telling you. But he is telling you, that means he wants you to watch him with other women to show his pain.
    But if you aren't comfortable, then explain him with tears on your face that how much you love him and how you feel bad about your past. Tell him exclusively that you are only for him and i don't want to loose because of my stupidity. Please don't this to me.. I can't watch you with other women. What i can ask you is only forgiveness for my history...If you ever loved me..don't leave me.
    Be very emotional and see what happens.
    Even if at this point he remains stiff, DIVORCE.

    • Lokh tah tho pagol. Sheh eta kano chai? Ami eta kortham nah.

    • Lokhtar matha akhon teek nah. Ehy biya tah bhengah gheseh

    • Ah! I'm sorry :P I just said that the guy is crazy, I don't know why he'd want this. He isn't in the right state of mind...and this marriage seems broken to me.

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  • Well, I think that if he wants a threesome, he should get that out of you and then leave you. He should get that since he's had to live with a woman like you for the past few years.

  • Counseling or divorce are your only options. He's not going to forgive you by cheating on you... It will only make you resent him, and either he'll hate himself for doing it or he'll just divorce you anyway after punishing you.

  • I can see why he would want to do those things. You did him wrong and now he is trying to get you back for it.. If you really aren't comfortable with it then you two should divorce or you can try and convince him to do other things.. There probably won't be much you can do though. Cheating is a big deal.

  • Get a divorce ASAP. Save him from spending another moment with a person like you.

  • If he'll give you one.

  • Damn that's deep. No matter what, the respect here is already lost. I'd divorce you if I was him.

  • My husband and I are talking about this.

  • What goes around comes around i think he now has a right to have sex with whoever he wants. you have clearly shown that you believe in an open relationship so why shouldn't he.

  • What is the result? Did you do it?

  • Marriage consoling > threesome. I wouldn't be married to anyone who cheats on me. That's not forgivable in my book. No matter what. He may seem okay with it now but eventually it'll rear it's ugly head again and again.

  • I think you...should...do it...

    • Threesome!

    • I think a relationship can survive it. Give him what he wants.

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