So my girlfriend has been using a dildo molded from her ex-boyfriend's penis, and freaked out when I confronted her about it. Am I in the wrong?

Question

This is a question I'm asking for a colleague: 
I've been with my girlfriend (25f) for almost a year now. I knew her a little bit before we started dating and hooked up with her pretty soon after she became single.
We have a pretty good sex life. She wants it almost as much as I do and usually our foreplay includes toys, and sometimes we use them while fucking too. Her favorite toy as long as I knew her had been this particular dildo that she'd always had as long as we'd been together. I didn't really think much of it. Sometimes when things were getting hot and heavy she'd hand me the toy and have me thrust it inside of her while I attended to other parts of her body, as this was the best way to make her orgasm. At the time I really thought nothing of it as I know a lot of girls can't cum from PIV.
One day recently though I saw on her Facebook page that she had been tagged in a photo with tom from another mutual friend in some photo from when they were all together + friends from two years ago. I was reading through the comments when the mutual friend said something along the lines of "omg u guys were so cute together!!1 :)". Well Tom replied to it with "lol haha well at least [my gf's name] still has something to remember me by ;)". I thought of course at the time they were just talking about the photo, but when I checked again a few hours later, the comments were gone, all of them, which weirded me out. I asked my GF what Tom had been talking about, about what he meant with the something to remember me by comment. She didn't know what I was talking about at first but then told me about the dildo. Apparently, when she and Tom were still together, they had the idea together to make a mold of his cock using one of those dildo molding kits so that my GF would have something to use when she went to study abroad for the semester. And the dildo was the very same favorite one that we used during our foreplay.

3gmoney3 · Accepted Answer

That's definitely an odd situation.

On the one hand, a dildo is a dildo. Sex toys aren't cheap, and I can understand not wanting to get rid of one just because of its origin.

On the other hand, there's no way that that is just a dildo. She made it specifically to have a connection to him while they were apart, otherwise she could have just gotten a generic toy. So it is, in a way, like she's having you fuck her with another guy's dick, which is just weird.

I don't think you're wrong to be freaked out about it, but I don't think any of the options you put forward are good ones. An ultimatum is just going to make her feel defensive and lead to a combative situation rather than one where you can come to a mutual solution. It would be much better if first, with a cool head, you could explain to her why it freaks you out. Explain that the connection to her ex makes it feel like she prefers having sex with him and that it is really uncomfortable for you. Then, buy her a new dildo. A really good one.

If she still refuses, then ditch her. If she's either not over her ex, or is so inconsiderate of your feelings that she's unwilling to part with a creepy sex toy, then she's not worth hanging on to.

jesseray · Accepted Answer

You're in the right. It's rude, classless, and psychologically nasty to try to sexually involve an ex-lover in one's current love life, regardless of the nature of that involvement, whether it be dildos, panties, bras, or anything else. Exes are referred to as an X because they are supposed to be X'ed out. You need to make an ultimatum: either it goes or you go.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

You're not acting like a jealous child. That's weird. She should have gotten rid of it. How would she feel if she were in your place? Maybe try asking her that question and getting her to see some logic from your side.

If she doesn't respect you and get rid of it because it bothers you (and if she cares she should get rid of something that bothers you that much) get rid of it.

If you kept some token of a girl like her bra or panties or soemthing I guarantee she wouldn't be ok with it. Because that's weird!!

Ladyegg67 · Accepted Answer

They have kits for that? Are they expensive? I agree with the comment below me, dramaqueen1. It's is like have her wear a mask of you ex girlfriend and yea it's a bit odd. Can't she make one of yours now.It's replacement.

teasegirl · Accepted Answer

I'm not reading all that. But I'll just answer the title question. No! You're not overreacting! She should have either gotten rid of it or never have you find out.

Natattack21 · Answer

Thats actually weird. So talk to her about it.

moistycakes · Answer

That's so fucked up, like, please give her an ultimatum. She has you to please her. Talk to her about how you can please her without a mold of a guy she once fucked.

silly09 · Answer

What about making a mold of your own penis? Then burn his. If she gets mad, she's not worth it.

Dramaqueen1 · Answer

Tell her it would be like you asking her to wear a mask with your exes face on it while you had sex. What she's doing is weird and you should be bothered.

melissa2 · Answer

Oh my god your answer choices were worded in a way that was hysterically funny.  But you should talk to her about it!

SüßeJäger · Answer

That is disrespectful to you. I would give her an ultimatum. How would she feel if you had a mold of your last gfs tits? Ill bet that would go over well. You're in the right.

Luna-o3o · Answer

Apparently, your dick size is not good enough. You should confront her about it.

kevsan · Answer

I think you write erotica for a living. Hahaha

AndyWes · Answer

That is serious issues, like sick, twisted. Break up with her.

bubbakong2006 · Answer

I would keep using it on her and my cock give her a double stuff might be great

Jaydog666 · Answer

Is tom's dildo dick bigger than u? Does she have to have tom's dildo dick to get off? If so next instead of lube dip it in Mexican hot sauce and see if she likes dem apples. Or just dump the dildo snd dump her lifes to short to be disrespected.

NoblesseOblige · Answer

w.t.f. break up.

COCOCHANEL · Answer

tell her to get back with tom asap

TheWombRaider · Answer

I call bulshit the woman would have told you that it was his she's not that dumb

MerlizaMercado · Answer

Go get yourself a Clone-A-Willy kit. It's only $52 plus shipping. Clone your own willy then destroy her old dildo.

Anonymous · Answer

Wtf dude break it off with her if she doesn't get rid of it wtf that is all kinds of fucked up

Anonymous · Answer

That's fucked up and my guess is that Tom's much bigger than you. Break up with her NOW but not before you shove that meat shank up her ass to the hilt.