Boyfriend won't have sex with me, why?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend won't have sex with me. I've tried and tried and he still won't be intimate with me. he's never really like to have sex since we've been together. And I've always thought that was kinda strange but I stayed with them because I loved him. but now its starting to affect our relationship because he doesn't want to be with me. and let me throw this little tidbit of information in there I caught him watching p*rn, when he won't sleep with me! Teenage p*rn too!! I was so hurt that i cried for days. he tells me that he doesn't work right because he was on steroids when he was younger, but I just don't know if I believe that or not. am I doing something wrong? what should I do?

[meowcow]

There are a variety of reasons for him not wanting sex, but the following may be the most likely.

First off, I wouldn't bother caring whether he watches p*rn. Are you living in the stone age? 99.9% of men watch p*rn. Those that claim to never watch p*rn are the BIGGEST viewers of pornography. It's pretty much a given that men watch p*rn, so lay your mind at ease. Teenage porn? Well I'd say you should be worried if he watching granny p*rn. Men like younger women. Women like older men. That's just how the world works.

I suspect what he has told you is partially true. Whether it's the steroids or something else, I believe he has some form of performance issues in the bedroom. Either he cannot stay hard, or he cannot ejaculate during sex. You'd know better than I do, but if he has trouble reaching the peak during sex, it is rather embarrassing for any man. Men self-measure their manliness by how much they can screw a girl and jizz all over her. His issues in bed may be from performance anxiety, age, or some other past issue like steroids. Regardless, the issue he has will not go away easily.

If I am correct, and he has such a problem, I would advise NOT to talk about it with him. That will further embarrass him.

Since he watches p*rn, he probably also masturbates. Usually, men that can't perform in bed, can still ejaculate when masturbating. If he can't reach orgasm through sex, blowjobs or handjobs from YOU, I would suggest you tell him that you want sex, but have him wank off on your body instead. That way, he'll probably be able to cum because he knows how to do it himself. If it actually works, you need to encourage him and tell him things to boost his ego...Wow, it's soooo much cum. Haha, yeah disgusting...but otherwise he will keep himself secluded sexually.

If he has no problem wanking off on you, this may become a permanent way of having sex - which is one he's comfortable with.

[ilovetm]

I don't know if you should stay or go but he seems to have intimacy issues that stem from some various anxieties, Is he a premature ejaculator or does he have ED from the roids? Is he ashamed of his penis size? These could all be factors. He might think you'll laugh or leave him once you have sex because of his perceived deficiencies. Done wrong steroids can cause your balls to stop functioning but he could probably get help on that. If he watches p*rn does he get a full erection? Frequent/compulsive masturbation can cause Retarded Ejaculation [or the in inability to cum]. Maybe see if he will watch p*rn with you and you can watch each other masturbate.

[MangoJuice]

Try talking to him and finding out all the truth. He might be ashamed to tell you something.. If he doesn't want talk about it, there's nothing you can really do - just dump him, you'll find somebody better!

[stevie123]

That guy is just not into you.His equipment works just fine.He can JO to teen p*rn but
can't get it up for you.Dump his ass and find a guy that is into you, and wants to be with you.
You deserve it!