Sexual Relationships
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I contracted HSV-1 (herpes simplex virus type 1) what should I do with dating?

I recently got herpes, and now i dont know how i'm going to date again. i've been on a temporary hiatus for 4 years on dating but i think i'm ready to get back out there. however, i've been really struggling on how a girl is going to fall for me if i have herpes and if i should tell her that i have one. i know that it is very important to tell women about it before dating but i've considered a few things and now im stuck with the question. apparently, the chances of transferring herpes is low when you don't have the outbreaks. also, i've found that herpes is very common in populations that 90% of world population has it (i dont know if this is a very precise statistics). its very common that i still can't believe i have it because im very anal about sharing anything with anybody and im also a bit of a germaphobe. im very truthful and straightforward towards people, but i feel like keeping this secret with me because of people's ignorance on the subject and scared that i'll be judged. also, if anybody has experience this type of dating and has been succesful, can they share a few stuff about it? e. g., if i should tell them on the first date, reactions, etc. thank you.
i should tell my partner beforehand.
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i shouldn't tell.
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Most Helpful Girls

  • I can understand your problem abd it is a pretty hard choice to make so I'll do my best to help.

    Though it would be good to be upfront and honest about it just incase the girl is no longer into you and save the both of you sometime and some heartache...

    I mean honestly I really don't think that you will get the fair chance that you deserve that girls will instantly reject you. Maybe with enough time gone by and after you're pretty close admitting it to her may change your results considering she has feelings for you.

    But in this case you have to be completely safe and have no slip ups. Always remain sober no drugs etc because without protection then you're affecting her and you'll have to keep that on your conscience.

    But really it's up to you and people will react in different ways one girl may feel that you waisted her time, one may accept it and understand why you waited to tell her and continue to love you, and another may be into you despite of it but irritated that you weren't upfront with them from the beginning that you didn't lay everything down on the line from the get go.

    Honestly the decision is yours and good luck.

    • Wait... Type 1 is cold sores right? Oh in that case it's not even that bad... I mean I wouldn't really wanna catch it but I wouldn't let that ruin a relationship. I'm not sure if herpes type 1 is the reason why people get cold soars naturally or something a bit more harmful but it wouldn't be that bad people all over the world already get them including me. So who would really know or care for that matter.

    • Thanks for MH =)

  • Because plenty of people think it's a good idea to get physical on the first date, YES you should tell them. It puts their health not to. Herpes and many other STDs are indeed rampant in some populations. In Africa. Where birth control and health care are hard to find and spousal abuse and rape are also rampant.
    You have internet access and some sort of health care I'm assuming, since you know you have herpes, so I'm also assuming you do not live in an area like this. You have a responsibility to inform partners and potential partners. If someone is going to have a problem with you having herpes at all, they're going to have an even bigger problem if you tell them about it late.

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What Girls & Guys Said

6 1

  • Absolutely tell beforehand. It's not a big deal but herpes is for life and your partner has the right to know so you guys can take precautions. I would maybe save it for the second date or when it could come up comfortably (before anything happens). Herpes is pretty common, any sensible mature girl should know that. Good luck stud!

  • Lol 90 % of the world does not have herpes that would be pretty much everyone and children would have to have it then too. It's probley around 25% at the most cuz I don't have it lol. Should of been more careful. But anyways your gonna have to tell her. A girl should get a choice if she should still fall for you cuz if u don't tell her she might have excepted it but since you didn't tell her that's what makes her leave

  • the statistics are wrong... and yes you should tell your partner

  • I disagree what you said about 90% of the population having it. Its not a common thing. I wouldn't trust them if theyre fresh out of the boat immigrants from Poland and England. They try to get in my face while they were getting cold sores in winter. The polish one kept trying to get in close proximity after i told her not to. Yuck.

    Date only when your lesions has vanished

  • My housemate last year wanted to jump me. She told me up front. I didn't want to go near her after.

    • I think if you don't tell them, it might even be assault.

  • chill out... herpes type one is cold sores. If you have an active lesion on your mouth it can easily be spread to other places (gentials) or people (or other peoples genitals). I'm not really something that you have to be too upfront with. you can be a carry of the virus and never have an outbreak so for all you know the girl you get with could have the same problem and not know it until one day she finally gets a cold sore. So just don't kiss, have oral sex while you have a lesion. Active is the whole time its visible not just when its fluid filled. It's active even if there is a faint pink or red mark. Do not touch an active lesion. If you do wash your hand really good.
    I am a dental hygienist an we aren't to see patients while active lesions so that we don't spread them while were are cleaning their teeth.

  • Is that the Pubic or Oral one. Is it the cold sore or blister one.

    • type 1 is oral. cold sores are blistered.

    • Ok. But there's cold sores that show up ok the lip and go away and then there's big ass puss filled sores in and outside the mouth that look like you have a flesh eating virus when you get an outbreak which do you have.

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