Sexual Relationships
+1 y

My boyfriend doesn't want to try new (sexual) things?

Me and my boyfriend got into this HUGE fight last night because i said i wanted to try new things in bed with him and he took it a totally ass-backwards way... He said me saying i want to try new things is the same as him telling me i need to lose 20 lbs and learn how to ride a dick. ARE YOU KIDDING? Am i wrong here? Should i have not said i want to try new things? Should i have said it differently? He took it as he sucks in bed and im not satisfied because he only does three moves and then he's done and he was like "i thought the three moves i did was enough for you but i guess not." And then he was insulting me for HOURS because I said that but all i meant was that I wanted to try new things because i love him and i thought he loved me enough to WANT to try new things with me... the only things he wants to try are things that hurt me which is anal (hes rough) and a threesome... and he said this word from word " I wanted to try new things but you got too into it, I'm not gonna sit and watch you have sex with a girl, i want to be involved too. " Like wtf? This whole thing started when I found a shit load of YouTube videos (in the history) of girls shaking their ass, while im at work... and I just started my job because before i didn't work he was still doing it all time even though we were together 24/7 but now I can understand more because i've been getting long hours so it won't bother me as much but it still bothers me because i wish he looked at p*rn. When guys watch p*rn its always girls with big fake tits and asses and goddess-like bodies but when he watches YouTube videos of girls, THEY ARE REAL GIRLS. I asked if he did it while i was working (i already knew) and he said " I don't, you can check the history" so i did and there was the videos and he got SO mad and turned it around on me because i'm the "jerk-off police". He also said we have sex to relieve ourselves not because of love or anything, we just help each other out...
Updates:
+1 y
&& He said he masturbates to fall asleep which is COMPLETELY understandable but there's always a million reasons so i know its just an excuse.
+1 y
His BS reason are like, "it helps me stay hard when we have sex so i do it before i want to have sex with you" and thats also fine but too bad when he does that we dont have sex when he's done... lol so it beats the purpose
1 0

Most Helpful Guys

  • He needs to lighten up. It seems like he wants to be the one always in control. He also wants to make it seem like he is mr perfect when it comes to sex. If he is not willing to change and try new things but expect it to get better may just always blame you. Sometimes if you keep doing something over and over it gets better but in this case it doesn't seem like it will. He should give new things a try because he might surprise himself and like it. Some people are not willing to change at all and just want to stick with what they are comfortable with. If he doesn't change you might end up getting bored having sex with him. It should be fun for both of you. I know when my gf wants to try new things I go along with it. Sometimes things work and sometimes they don't. Sometimes we both like it, sometimes only one of us like it or neither of us do. You don't know unless you try it to a certain point. If it something crazy I can understand not trying it but basic thins then no. If it is using toys like dildos and vibrators I can understand trying but if it was a deprivation sack then I can understand not wanting to try. because not evertything should be a try it to see if you like it or not.

  • He is a jerk. Any normal guy would gladly try new things, to keep his girl happy and to experiment. He might even find that it increases his pleasure too!! You are not wrong, and actually are willing to try to make sex even better. He even lied about the videos. and kind of said that he jerks off to them. And the comment about relieving himself instead of doing it for love is the final straw.
    Dump his ass, so he can go jerk off, and find a nice guy that will love you.

    • i totally agree with you man! i

    • He kept changing his story too ! First story was that he didn't want to try new things because now he's hurt that i said that & then he said "Now i'm gonna feel pressured to try new things the next time we have sex, so now i dont even want to" ... Then, it was because he doesn't have time...& After that he just said i suck and when im on top i hurt his dick... then teach me how to do properly for you !!! dont let me do it and let me think im doing right !!! fuck you !!

    • I feel like such an idiot, i thought i knew how to ride but i guess not... he would even tell me while we're having sex "oh yeah thats how you ride that d*ck " Like wtf, dont lie to me...

    • Show All

Most Helpful Girls

  • Not only does he sound lie an uncaring lover (being proud of having three moves is not something to be proud of at all! What are they; in, out and finger?) but the fact he lashes out at you and attacks you verbally for just talking about sex sounds like he has some issues about it. I think he knows he's rubbish in bed but he doesn't want to improve. He shouldn't be masturbating to fall asleep every night either. It sounds to me like he doesn't want to sleep with women. You are supposed to satisfy them and if you're used to jacking off all the time then it's probably too much effort for him, plus, he's probably de-sensitised his penis due to too much hand action. He sounds like a complete douche, but none of us really know. Maybe time for you to have a re-think.

    • Lol he doesn't even finger me... he sticks his penis in my face, I'll blow him then we'll do missionary n on my stomach n thats it... no kissing or anything...& sometimes if we have sex before i gotta go to work, I'll STILL find YouTube history from him jacking off

    • wtf? I'm assuming that there's no foreplay then? I'm not one for withholding sex to get what you want, but when what you want is GOOD sex and all you're getting is terrible amateur fumbling, then I think it's only fair. Tell him you're not gonna be in the mood until he makes a f#@king effort and stops jerking off to go to sleep, I couldn't live with that and you shouldn't have to either.

    • NO FOREPLAY AT ALL. Its ridiculous, he doesn't try at all unless I've said something about it... n if i do talk about it he said he feels pressured to be like James dean & im like it doesn't have to be like that because he feels amazing, i just wish he would make me feel like he wants me.. I don't know he's so different from other guys I've had sex with... other guys I've had sex with actually tried to get me off n tried different moves n kissed me n made me feel sexy but not my own bf

    • Show All

  • Well, I told you last time already what I think you should do, and you gave me MH for it. But it seems like you didn't take my advice and are still with him. My advice is still the same though - end the relationship. It is going absolutely nowhere but downhill and only leaving both of you frustrated and unsatisfied. Not only sexually. At this point, I don't know what you're still waiting for.

    • Most really don't want to be alone though so she'll probably drive it into the ground.

  • Yeah he sounds like an insecure jerk. I don't think you needed to word that any differently or anything he just got offended and flipped out over nothing.

    • Thank you !!

Scroll Down to Read Other Opinions

What's Your Opinion? Sign Up Now!

Related Questions

Guys, do you like treating her like this in bed?
Why people are the most horny in the morning?
Have you ever done sexting? What do you think about it?
How loud are you during sex?

What Girls & Guys Said

4 15

  • Id leave him that just me he doesn't seem he cares or respects the relationship or anything id go find someone better. He just inslats you and you dont need that the hardest thing to do is leave but once you do that you can do anything.

    • thank you, and its hard because i live in detroit with him and my hometown is in NJ...

    • Your welcome. Oh I see. Are you their for collage? I would try to go back or if your their for collage to get a dorm to me it stressful and not worth it. You dont need this at all. Your young and their no time for this. And you deserve better.

    • noo i came out here 3 other times for my bf cuz he had a job lined up for him here but he got fired

    • Show All

  • I think he may have overreacted because deep down inside he knows he isn't that good at satisfying you. People can take two paths here. One, you can take it positively and be open to trying and learning new things and enjoying/be happy about it, or two, you can be totally negative, closed off and not willing to open and try new things. If he can't be willing to open up and try to be positive I see no reason to continue a relationship like that.

    • Thank you ! I feel the same way... He knows im not satisfied and he's trying to turn it around on me... like i need to change... and i should change some things but at least i admit that im wrong and i want to work on it...

    • For a successful relationship, both partners have to be willing to compromise here and there. It is a two way street. Not one sided! Things are also changing all the time. Sex included! I am sure you will continuously want to try new things in the future too. If he is so against it now, I fear he will always be. He may need more reassurance from you, he need more confidence. But he also needs to have his own foundation of desire to try new things too, and not one that must be forced. I fear he may also be just too lazy to try harder. He may have become too complacent in your relationship to branch out. One way or the other, I hope it works out for you. Life is too short to be unhappy in this area.

  • To be honest, he responded how a huge number of men and women do. I grew up being conditioned to expect women to not want to try kinky stuff, but huge numbers of men and women don't want to do anything beyond what they want to do.

    Could you have worded it better? Maybe, maybe not. I don't think how you worded it was the issue.

    "try new things" is really vague. What kind of things would you like to try?

    I'm also a little unclear on whether you two have had anal and threesomes or not.

    • I would LOVE to try new kinky things with him... we always just do 2 positions n thats it... if i try to do another position he'll push me down n continue to what he was doing...& we've tried anal but he's too rough n impatient... i told him it hurts n to be careful but he kept getting frustrated with me so we stopped & we never had a threesome.

    • And "try new things" is vague, i guess i shouldve said it differently but i didn't say it with an attitude or anything

  • You ain't dumped that MF yet? I remember you.

    • Lol no not yet, i feel like im waiting for him to hate me before i leave for good.

    • Oh... well the longer you wait the longer your going to be sexually unsatisfied then. I guess it's up to you though. If your willing to deal with that then you know that's your choice.

    • Im not, im done

  • Jerk-off police - LMFAO - but seriously, if he can't satisfy you then dump him and find someone who can - you are young and chances are, it won't last forever anyways. as far as the p*rn - every man jerks off, if they say they don't, they are lying - and the type of p*rn he watches - what difference does that make? every guy has different preferences they go to - personally I enjoy FFM, orgy, and girl-on-girl without toys. fact of the matter is they are real girls, but girls he does not know and will most likely never meet.

    • thats true (:

    • & the stuff he watches just bothers me cuz its just hot girls shaking their ass... I've made him videos of me doing it and he never watched them, and i know he didn't watch my videos cuz he had YouTube history of all the girls...

    • I don't know i guess im just insecure

  • I think he's just looking at this in a negative way. It depends on how you approached him about this too. I would have felt pretty happy if my girl wanted to experiment, but if she acted like she isn't enjoying what we already do I would be put off by that.

    • Thats very true ! I just gotta say it differently... i didn't sound mean or anything, i was just simply talking about it

  • Lol sounds like something one of my ex would say to me. Personally she was 5.11 and I’m 5.6. And she heavier then but she still look great to me and nothing wrong with cushion. To the point one time we got into agreement. She rip me good.

    Well when we finally reach our hotel stop. I just lol rip her up which threw her off big time.

    To the point. Depending on women I’m dating. There certainly some things I cannot do sexually. But there other things I can. There some things I won’t even dare to do. That’s point back truth.

    Some guys just don’t want to learn. Or do certain things. I know there things I don’t do or care for either.

  • sounds like he's got some real issues and is pretty full of himself

    • He thinks he's like a sex god... when we broke up for a little bit, this girl that he got with even said "you only know 3 moves?" hahahaha so i know its not me...

  • He sounds like an asshole.

  • Well if he don’t want to treat yourself to an extra cock on the side that will give you the pleasure you so desire

  • Drop him and find somebody better. I can't believe he wouldn't want to try new things with you. I'd be very pleased and proud if I was the one to try something my SO had never done before and it satisfied her!

    The videos you talked about show he's interested in real women with real bodies, and no guy would be unhappy with the body you've got. Don't worry about that!

    Kust find somebody better. Lots of guys will be happy to go on a sexual safari with you.

    • @ Editor What do you mean by a real women with real bodies when women come in different heights, weights, sizes, shapes, skin tones, eye color, hair color, hair lengths etc

    • The original question said her boyfriend was hiding videos he'd been watching, but they weren't p*rn, they were YouTube videos of women dancing.

  • i suggest u either leave him or do new stuffs which satisfies u with another guy. Dont be together with this guy if he doesn't change. He is so self-consumed in himself.
    Go, enjoy. there are million guys from whom u kud chose to hv real real fun in bed.

  • Sounds like a little insecurity here and there on his end. Honestly you 2 don't seem very compatible.. sexually anyway. Especially with his attitude but then again I don't necessarily know the whole story and both sides.

    • Yeah exactly :/ 2 sides to every story... he probably feels a totally different way but i feel like shit... i dont care that he masterbates, i just dont wanna be replaced with it n thats what i feel like... he masterbates any chance he can get... we won't have sex for a week but as soon as i go to work n come back, i find shit on YouTube

    • Maybe he feels like he can't please you sexually.. and tries to destroy your self esteem to keep you around? Just a thought but i know that's how some people are. You have your needs also and deserve to be treated better.. don't put yourself through the torment if it isn't worth it.

  • I think you need a new lover. If he jerks off to fall asleep and you're in bed with him he has major issues. I would want sex if you're in bed with me to fall asleep.

  • His a A holl

  • He is being a dick

  • drag him to sex store and ask him to pick a toy for you and you pick a toy for him

  • Three words, leave this guy. He sounds like a total asshole and a selfish lover. A normal nice guy that wants to satisfy your every sexual need would be like, "hell yeah, what do you want to try". If I were you I would not stay with him, because it will only get worse and he does not share the same value for sex as you do.

    Good luck!

    • He said i care about it way too much and i shouldve left the topic alone... now i feel like shit because he thinks all i want is sex... All i said was i want the truth, if i suck in bed I WANT TO KNOW, yeah it'll hurt but i'll get better but NO he went a totally different direction with it and turned around and said i need to 20 lbs, clean my pussy (which i do EVERYDAY), and learn how to ride. Im 5'4 and 136.4 ... I got curves (Latina curves, im puerto rican) is that too big?

    • Not at all, my fiance is Mexican and is also 5'4" and ways 130lbs (I am white and 6'3"). She is curvy and has 34D's. Is she overweight? Hell NO!!! To be honest, your current boyfriend sounds like a total douche bag. I say current, because it sounds to me like you need to drop his ass and find someone who will really appreciate you because he loves you and wants to have sex with you because he love you. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you wanting to explore and try new things in the bedroom. My fiance and I are always trying different things during sex. The things we have tried recently even led to my fiance squirting. Neither of us had any idea that she could squirt and I absolutely love making my fiance squirt and have at least two orgasms a session. Sometimes when she is really horny we even do some anal. Finally, whatever guy you are with should not have any problem getting hard for you! That excuse he uses is total BS!!! I get hard just by looking at my fiance.

    • lol sounds like me n your gf are twins !! hahaha i got 36Ds and yeah i dont see a future with him at all, im trying to end it slowly i guess and i know thats unfair but everytime i leave he gets me to stay when i deep down dont want to. And thank you !!! his idea of exploring is a threesome and anal sex, like i said... i agreed to the threesome and so did he at first but i said i didn't want to see him with a girl all over him so we both agreed on me and the girl doing stuff while he watches but then he realized i might enjoy way better than having sex with him so now he doesn't want to do it, he said why do you get all the fun?

    • Show All

  • what a jerk. makes me want to live him and punch him! >:(

    • Have you ever had a boyfriend that got offended because you want to try new things?

    • noo, my boyfriend is very supportive. he also is very open minded. when i tell him that i'm not satisfied he tries his best to satisfy me until I'm happy. anyway, i never had tried that anal sex. does it hurt?

    • you're better off without him. seriously! there's soooo many guys around the world. dont settle for anything less girl :) you deserve to be happy

    • Show All

Latest Questions

Which butt is the most attractive in your opinion? Be honest?
My boyfriend is upset I don’t give him head? He keeps hinting around to oral sex? What should I do?
Why men jealous of womens orgasm?
Ever hooked up with someone you met at a wedding?
Home >  Sexual Relationships  > My boyfriend doesn't want to try new (sexual) things?